by Harper Logan
“If you haven’t found the right girl, you haven’t found the right girl. Doesn’t make you less mature.”
How did I manage to sound like I knew what I was talking about? I was as lost as he was. More, maybe. If anything, I suspected that hiding in the closet for so long made me less mature. Why was I trying to act like I knew all the answers?
“Can I tell you something personal?” Adam asked. “Something that’s been bothering me?”
I swallowed a lump in my throat. “Of course.”
“One of my plants just died.”
I snorted—then caught myself, unsure how serious he was.
When I looked over at him, he was holding in a laugh. “Got you, man.”
“Good one.”
Hopefully sharing time was over. I couldn’t deal with much more of it.
Except… what if I actually did open up to him? Would it really be so bad? That was why we’d come on this trip, after all. I’d wanted to bond with him when I’d drunkenly suggested it.
I didn’t have to tell him I was gay or anything, but maybe I could manage to speak from the heart. Just a little bit.
Buddy gave a bark, and I caught sight of the sign for a rest stop. There was a Dunkin’ Donuts—hell yeah!
“Up for a midmorning snack?” I asked as I turned onto the off ramp.
I’d start all that opening up and shit later.
7
Six—Calvin
“About ready to find a motel?” I asked.
Adam was behind the wheel now. We’d each done two shifts, and I’d been in a much better mood ever since the long nap I’d taken during his first. We’d also stopped to explore a pleasant seaside town for a few hours. The scenery had been amazing, all rolling green hills and crystal-blue ocean. Buddy had loved all the new things to sniff and roll around in.
In the late afternoon, we’d taken a detour to see a small cove by the coast. It was romantic as fuck, and having dinner with Adam after hadn’t helped at all. I kept thinking about him in that way, and if I kept it up, I was going to be a highly frustrated man.
That was why I was talking about finding a motel when it was barely nine o’clock at night.
“Thought you were the night person,” Adam said, guiding the steering wheel with his fingertips. “You’re ready to turn in already?”
“I figure it’ll take a while to find a decent place,” I said. “Even if we don’t have to worry about breaking the bank.”
We’d barely put a dent in our road trip money today. Treating ourselves to our favorite food didn’t cost much considering we were the Popeyes kind of guys, and none of the knickknacks or souvenirs we’d seen had caught our attention.
“I’m ready to hit the sack whenever,” Adam said. “The earlier we sleep, the earlier we can hit the road tomorrow.”
“Oh, God. Let’s drive for another couple hours.”
He laughed. “I promise not to wake you up too early if you promise not to keep me up too late. Deal?”
“Deal.” I pointed at the neon sign for a motel. “Want to check that one out?”
His nose wrinkled, and he made no move to turn. “We’ve hardly touched our three grand. Let’s hold out for something nicer.”
“Whatever you say.”
The next motel looked nicer, but we missed the stop. And the one we saw after that had no vacancies.
“What if we stop in a town?” Adam asked with a yawn.
God fucking damn, he was cute when he was sleepy. To keep from looking at him again, I pulled out my phone. “We’re almost an hour from Rockland,” I said after a moment. “You think you can wait it out?”
“Maybe if we switch places,” he said with a bigger yawn.
I chuckled. “I don’t know where we’d manage that, so how about we pull in there?” I pointed at the sign for a hotel.
“Woolsworth Beachhead Resort? That sounds way too fancy.” He was turning, though. “I guess we might as well check the prices.”
“Forget the prices.” Even if both Woolsworth and Beachhead would suggest the place cost way more than I’d normally spend. “We’re fully funded, remember? And our fans will be so happy to see us having a good time.”
Adam choked. “You mean you want to make a video tonight? I’m tired!”
“We didn’t record anything during the day. If you want to keep your nights free, we should tape something during the day tomorrow.”
He pulled into a parking spot and we got out of the car. Buddy yipped for joy as soon as we let him out. I coiled his leash around my wrist, encouraging him to come. He found it more urgent to raise his leg to everything in the vicinity.
The hotel’s exterior was intimidating enough. The reception area nearly gave Adam a heart attack. “Come on, let’s go,” he murmured in the doorway. Looking at the gold-flecked floor, the massive crystal chandeliers, and the unreasonably high ceiling, I almost agreed to leave.
“Let’s just ask,” I said.
We were barely through the door when the sleek-haired woman at the front desk stood up, her nose wrinkling as she took in each member of our ragtag party. “You can’t bring that in here.” She gestured at Buddy. “Not in this area.”
Adam went with him while I approached the desk.
“Do you have a reservation?” the woman asked.
“No.” She said nothing, so I added, “Do you have a vacancy?”
“Yes. Two thousand, seven hundred and fifty per night.”
“Dollars?”
“Yes, sir.”
“U.S. dollars?”
“Yes, sir.”
“People seriously pay that kind of money to stay here?”
“Yes, sir. The suite is one of our best, and you arrived at the last minute.” She pursed her lips. “And in this case, the cost includes a pet surcharge.”
I shook my head. Normally this would’ve been the point where I walked straight out of here… but we were here, and Adam was tired, and we had all that money to blow.
“We’ll take it,” I said, and handed over my credit card.
When we got to our suite, Adam just about shit himself. “Two bedrooms? A living space? A fucking library?” He fingered the fabric on a couch cushion. “I’m pretty sure one of these costs more than the rent on my apartment.”
“It’s possible.”
He stared at me, suddenly wary. “Wait, how much did you pay for this place?” I mumbled the answer. Apparently it was loud enough for him to hear, because his eyes bugged out. “Seriously? You got this for twenty-seven fifty?”
“Um…”
It clicked, and he spun in a circle with his hands pressed to his forehead. “Two—fucking—thousand?”
Buddy was running around investigating everything, and I kept my eyes on him as I answered. “You were tired, and it seemed like a nice place…”
“Yeah, dude, that’s a good reason to spend fifty bucks instead of forty. Maybe two hundred instead of three hundred, if you’re talking about something in that price range. But blowing two grand on one night?”
I coughed. “Sorry.” I should’ve checked with him. I’d had some vague idea of treating him, or spoiling him, or something. I didn’t know anymore.
“What’s done is done, but damn, Calvin.” He went over to the kitchen—fully equipped with gleaming steel appliances. “This’ll kill our budget for the rest of the trip.”
“We still have close to two-fifty.”
“Sure, close, and we need two more nights of accommodation.” He rubbed his head some more. “We may have to sleep in the car one night.”
“No. I wouldn’t let you do that.” I wanted to grab his hands as I reassured him. “If worst came to worst, we’d go back early.”
“I can’t believe a fucking bank manager could make this kind of financial decision.”
I gave a regretful shrug. “I never claimed to be good with my own money.”
“Well.” His inhale was audible as he looked around our surroundings again. “I’m definit
ely awake now, anyway. And I’m sure our fans will get a kick out of this.”
Right, the video. I would’ve been happy to forget about it altogether, but Adam was dead set on doing it. And to my surprise, we’d actually gotten a great reception on the pre-departure video we’d done the other day.
It was more of an introduction than anything, with the two of us talking about how we knew each other and what had led to my poorly-thought-out suggestion. Adam had helped me strike the right tone, a balance between playful and self-deprecating. And when we made the final cut, I could almost believe I was “owning” my drunken rant like he said I was.
The comments had been positive—at least, no one had written demanding their contribution back. People seemed to like our connection. There’d even been a couple of comments about how we were both hot.
“You have something in mind for this video?” I asked.
He had a lot of things in mind, as it turned out. And five minutes later, I was filming on his cell phone as he slid along the marble floor in his stocking feet.
Squeaking to a stop, he gave me—I mean, the camera—a far-too-seductive grin. “Hi, I’m Adam Hawkins. Welcome to my crib.”
“And what did you do today, Adam?”
“I was on the first day of my homiemoon with my bro, Calvin Landon!” He grabbed the phone to point the camera at me.
Sheepishly, I gave a thumbs-up. “Hey, Internet.”
Adam immediately started recounting the circumstances that had led to us being in this hotel. I’d wanted him to talk more about the day we’d had, but he insisted this was more interesting. According to him, people would be curious as soon as they saw our luxe surroundings, and they’d fast-forward to the part where we talked about it.
I followed him around the suite, filming every second of his excited explanations. When we passed Buddy, I gave the viewers a glimpse of him. He rolled around on the floor, mugging for the camera as if he knew this was his shot at stardom.
“So I’m enjoying my time with my homie.” Adam stood in front of the entranceway again, making me realize he was already summing up the video. “Thank you to Calvin for suggesting this brocation.”
I directed the camera at my face again, reluctant but glad it was almost over. “And thank you to all our friends, donors, and fans for making this possible. We wouldn’t be here tonight without you.” I made the peace sign. “Peace out.”
“Peace o-o-out!” Adam shouted, gesticulating wildly as I turned the camera off.
That had been relatively painless. I was actually a little curious to see how people would respond. It was kind of cool to have hundreds of people watching our weekend road trip. Hopefully they wouldn’t be pissed at us for wasting their money!
“So that’s it. Done in one take.” I opened review mode on the phone. “We just have to edit and post it.”
“I’ll edit if you want to head to bed.”
“No, that’s okay. I’ll be up for a while anyway.”
He bit his lip. If he was as exhausted as he looked, it wouldn’t be a tough decision. “All right. If you don’t mind.” He took a few steps, then spun and grinned at me. “Let’s chill here for a while tomorrow. We might as well take advantage since we spent the money. They have a rooftop pool and shit.”
“They better, for twenty-seven hundred bucks.”
The more I thought about it, the more I wondered why I’d spent the money. Some part of me was probably hoping fancy surroundings would create some romantic feelings in Adam. Not that that was possible in a straight guy. And now that we were here, he was acting as bro-y as ever. If that’d been my subconscious plan, it’d failed.
He headed to his room, his backpack slung over a shoulder. Seated on the living room couch, I took a breath. It took me a moment to collect myself after he was gone. We’d been together all day, and as much as I enjoyed his company, it was stressful too. Not even just because of being in the closet. I was an introvert, and spending so much time with anyone tended to wear me out.
And then there was the frustration. God, the sexual frustration. I couldn’t count the number of times today I’d thought about kissing him or touching him. It didn’t help that it’d been years since I’d done anything with a man. Or with anyone at all.
I tried not to think about sex often—masturbation tended to be more of a tease than a satisfaction—but at the moment, I couldn’t seem to stop myself. I’d been on the verge of arousal all day, and now that I had a moment alone, my cock was twitching and growing all on its own.
Don’t be a pig, Calvin. It wasn’t okay to jerk off to thoughts of a friend. Especially one I was spending the whole weekend with. How would I ever look Adam in the eye tomorrow if I stroked one out to his mental image tonight?
No, I needed other stimulation. And I needed to get into my room. I closed my eyes, already imagining the sweet relief that’d come once I was alone with some porn. That only got me harder, and I licked my lips as I glanced around the room.
Adam was completely worn out. Down for the count. No way would he be coming out of that room again tonight, I would’ve bet my life on it.
And as for the porn, my phone was right here in my hand. A box of tissues sat on the side table as if the hotel designers had planned it that way. Editing the video could wait a couple minutes. That was all the time this’d take. I had this fancy hotel suite, I might as well make use of it.
I opened an Internet browser and reached for my zipper.
8
Seven—Adam
I thrashed in the king-size bed. The sheets were probably ten-thousand thread count or something ridiculous like that. Way nicer than I was used to, and a little discomforting.
I was a simple guy who liked simple things. It was pretty funny that Calvin had gone ahead and booked us this room, and I’d be happy to check out the amenities in the morning, but I was kind of glad it was only for one night.
Being here had me a little ill at ease. Or if I was really honest, the whole day had me kind of off-balance.
I couldn’t remember having spent so much time with another man before. Sure, I hung out with Mikey, but that was an hour or two here and there. Not three straight days of male bonding.
Calvin sure was a great guy. He seemed to understand whatever I told him about, and he always had something smart to say in response. I really couldn’t imagine why he didn’t have a wife by now.
He was so good-looking, and he’d maintained his body ever since his football days at Beasley. I knew he was a little self-conscious about his hairline, but he didn’t have to be. He would’ve been a stud even with no hair at all.
I laughed into the pillow. A stud? I had to be sleep-deprived to be thinking along those lines. He looked good, but I’d never called a man a “stud” in my life. Calvin was cool, and I was glad we were spending this time together. A twinge went through my groin.
Hanging out with him was nice, just… strange. Like this hotel suite.
Was I even going to be able to sleep? I wasn’t tired at all anymore. I normally went to bed by eleven and got up by six, but Calvin would kill me if I tried to keep that schedule with him anyway. It wouldn’t hurt anything if I were to stay up a little longer and get up a little later, just this once.
I rolled out of bed. Maybe I’d go see what Buddy was up to. That was the sweetest little dog ever, and I was sure he’d appreciate some pats any time of the day or night. Actually, I’d see if Calvin was still up. He might be working on our video, and I could take a look at it before he posted it.
Without bothering to put on a shirt, I opened the door. Calvin’s silhouette was visible from here. He was in the living room, and the glow from the phone screen lit his face. Still editing, I guessed.
“Hey, man.”
He just about jumped out of his skin, and his phone crashed to the floor as I approached him. Shit, he actually looked completely terrified!
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” I got to my knees and reached under the couch.
“Here, I’ll grab your phone.”
“No!” His voice was strangled. “I mean, I’ll do that.”
I already had my hand on the phone, so I handed it to him. He looked completely flustered as he eased himself back into the chair, and he crossed his legs in a funny way as he went to stick the phone into his pocket.
“Not so fast!” I said. “I want to see what you were working on.”
“Excuse me?” The light was dim, but I thought his cheeks were tinged with red.
“The video.” I held out my hand for the phone. “Let me see the video.”
“You want to see—you want…?”
Wow, I’d never seen him like this. Not once in ten-plus years. “The one you were editing,” I said. “That’s what you were doing, right?”
“Oh, right. The video.” He passed his hand over his forehead. “Um. Not done. I’ll show you in the morning.”
“Really? It shouldn’t take that long. Let me see what you’ve done.”
“Nothing, honestly…” He opened the phone, though, and hit play on the video. “It’s just this so far.”
“No, you’re showing me the wrong thing. This is the original video without any edits.” I pushed a few buttons, looking for the other programs he had open. There was a video player. “Maybe this is it.”
“What? No, Adam, stop!”
Too late. I had the video player open, but it wasn’t our video.
The guys in it did bear a passing resemblance to us. The only difference was they didn’t have any clothes on. At all.
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered, dropping the phone as if it’d burned me.
The image of the guys might’ve actually been burned into my brain—the two of them in a hot tub, a dark-haired one with his head tilted back, a blond’s inhuman monster of a penis jammed halfway down his throat.
I’d never seen anything like that before. Hadn’t wanted to, either. I blinked a few times, trying to clear the picture out of my mind… even if I wasn’t as disgusted as I would’ve thought I’d be from seeing gay porn.
