A Dead Man's Travail

by Susana Pagano

  ⎯ But they’re so innocent.

  ⎯ You should know that sooner or later they’ll lose that. Women are unpredictable by nature; one day they’re naive, innocent, pure; and the next they’re neither virginal, nor saints, and they’re loose with any pair of pants that comes their way.

  ⎯ They’re not all like that. Not Anita.

  ⎯ How do you know? How many times have you seen her before?

  ⎯ Dunno, a couple of times...

  ⎯ There you are, you see, dude. You know nothing about her, nor who the hell her parents are, or even how much she’s been around regardless of how young she is.

  ⎯ Don’t talk like that about Anita, dammit. You understand?

  ⎯ OK, OK.

  ⎯ Francisco stares at the beer can as if he were analysing its contents, but his thoughts are a long way from the ordinariness of beer.

  ⎯ How do I get rid of this horrible anguish in my chest? How do I stop myself thinking about her beautiful, naive eyes, her lovely child’s body?

  ⎯ You know how, don’t you, Francisco? ⎯ the waiter takes the empties and the tequila glasses; and changes the ash tray for a clean one. (Bring me another packet of Delicados without filter and some botana, some Japanese peanuts will do.)

  ⎯ I’m not sure that’s what’s best for her, Lolo.

  ⎯ It’s best, Francisco, believe me. You want another beer?

  ⎯ I’d like something a bit stronger. Tequila, a double tequila – the waiter writes down the order and leaves.

  ⎯ Is she from the barrio?

  ⎯ No, well, I don’t think so.

  ⎯ Where did you see her?

  ⎯ In the Alameda.

  ⎯ Couldn’t you have gone a bit further way, like Coyoacan, maybe?

  ⎯ I didn’t do it on purpose. I didn’t know she was going to cross my path, or that with just one look I’d end up with this scar in my chest.

  ⎯ No, you don’t ever know, you never do anything on purpose.

  ⎯ I told you to stop mocking me, dammit.

  ⎯ Stop beating yourself up, you’re embarrassing yourself. I know this business makes your hair stand on end and you get unbearable, ‘specially when you’ve had eight beers and two tequilas.

  ⎯ Are you counting my drinks? Since when did you care about how much I drink?

  ⎯ Uy!, sensitive today, aren’t you? Forget it, cuz. Look, forgive me; you really do get it bad. Let’s get back to the topic. Do you know all we need to know about her? ⎯ Francisco nods. ⎯ Good. I’m gonna talk to her, I’ll fix everything and you won’t have to worry about a thing. Is that clear?

  ⎯ You swear, Lolo?

  ⎯ By this ⎯ he makes the sign of the cross, has another swig of his mescal and stuffs another handful of peanuts into his mouth.

  ⎯ Really, Lolo? You’d really do that for me?

  ⎯ I swore I would, didn’t I?

  ⎯ Thanks, Lolo, thanks, you’re gonna go to heaven, that’s for sure.

  ⎯ No fuckin’ way, man. Me? Go to heaven with blessed virgins? Heaven forbid.

  ⎯ OK then, Lolo; go find her, I need to see her again soon.

  ⎯ Take it easy, everything in due course. You drink your tequila, I’ll drink my mescal, we’ll chat for a while about other things and before you know it, everything will be sorted as if nothing had happened. Salud, cuzzie, my best mate!

  ⎯ Salud, Lolo Manón!

  50

  Don Lolo was unfaithful to Natalia, but they were brief affairs, the odd flirtation, and I don’t really think my good friend is the sort to get all het up about it and do something stupid. Natalia is beyond worrying about good or bad; she never cared about her husband’s misdemeanours before, so why should she care now? She would have been justified in having an affair herself, but Natalia isn’t like that; she’s quite happy looking after her little store and working like a donkey, bless her, she really does work hard. All day, from the time she opens ‘til the time she closes, you see her behind the counter; she’s always got a smile on her face (sort of a wry smile, but a smile nonetheless). The kids help: they attend to customers for a while, they go to the market, empty boxes and collect what’s owing from the scroungers; they’re always doing something, even if it’s just kicking around an orange peel on the street. On the other hand, Don Lolo was very lazy, totally shameless; he spent the whole time drinking in the cantina, spending money his wife earned by the sweat of her brow. They did Natalia a favour making a widow out of her - and the kids - that goes without saying.

  Did he love them? No, not a bit! They got in his way; they were more of a nuisance than anything else, particularly the twins. He’d really take it out on them, the damned trou de cul! As soon as they grew up, he would take them to the salon and make me cut their hair really, really short, like a man’s, and he’d swear at them if they dared to complain.

  ⎯ You want to have your hair long so you can go and hustle, but I’d rather die than let you go around like whores.

  That’s what he’d say to them. It used to make me very cross the way he treated them, but I could say anything because he’d knock out my teeth. Once it occurred to me to say, “But, Don Lolo, women should look like women, not like naughty boys.”

  ⎯ Mind your own business, Valerio.

  ⎯ It’s really nice seeing women all done up, looking feminine, with a modern hairstyle done in a salon.

  ⎯ Shut up, you damned queer, I’ve felt like smashing your face in for a long time.

  ⎯ Ay, no, Don Lolo; then what would I say to my husband?

  That’s the way he was. He never missed an opportunity to insult everyone. I wouldn’t be surprised if the twins ended up being lesbians, ‘cause with that sort of treatment, I wouldn’t have felt like going anywhere near a man, no matter how nice he was ...or how good.

  51

  It hasn’t stopped raining for several days and the cold is intense for summertime, but the Capital is always cold when it should be hot and vice versa. There must be a northerly coming in from Vera Cruz; as soon as there’s the northerly hits Vera Cruz, it gets really cold in the city. Ernestina is wearing a scarf, woollen gloves and is shivering from the cold; however, she feels good, incredibly good, despite the wind, the cold rain and grey skies. As she turns the corner, she stops a few steps before she gets to the dry cleaners. Hortensio and Ramón are talking and laughing; they haven’t noticed that Ernestina is there. She takes a step back, not knowing whether to turn around and go back to where she came from or to continue on her way and ignore them; but Ramiro has seen her. Ernestina feels her legs shaking. Hortensio follows Ramiro’s gaze and his hands begin to sweat. Ramiro smiles.

  ⎯ Hi, Ernestina! Come, come closer, don’t be shy⎯ . Ernestina draws closer, but she’s feels afraid, very afraid, but she doesn’t know why, because she’s never been afraid of Ramiro. But there’s another man there, a stranger she’s never seen before in her life; it could be an FBI agent come to interrogate her. Ramiro gives her a pat on the bottom and then a hug. Hortensio’s eyes widen, but says nothing-. Why are you staring at Hortensio? You’re looking at him as if you don’t recognise your primo. Did you know – he says to Hortensio-, Ernestina is my girlfriend, aren’t you, Tinita? So you could say, you and me are primos by marriage, whadda ya reckon? – Ramiro hugs her tighter and gives her a kiss on the lips. Hortensio clenches his fists, digging his nails into his palms, but he remains as still as a rock- They told me you went to the hospital every day, but why did you suddenly stop going? Ah! Tinita, you’re so strange! – Ramiro starts to laugh, he puts both his arms around her, sliding his hands over her waist, her hips, her legs and her backside. Ernestina breaks away from his embrace and pushes him to one side.

  He’s an idiot, just like all the rest. It was their secret, just the two of them and nobody else’s and now he has revealed it to everyone, as if their pact meant nothing. They’d make a pact, hadn’t they? Nobody would know that they loved each other, that they were friends, boyfriend and girlfriend, lovers. But he
has broken the agreement; he’s an imbecile, a damned imbecile.

  Ernestina runs out to nowhere in particular, her face is contorted and her heart is pounding. Ramiro has betrayed her and she can never forgive him.

  Hortensio gazes after her, but is unable to make a sound. Ramiro watches her go, he is smiling.

  ⎯ She’s completely touched, that girl... What is it, dude? Why are you looking at me as if you’ve seen the devil himself? Your prima’s just nuts, that’s all.

  ⎯ Who do you think you are, making out with her, you bastard?

  ⎯ Eh? What’s wrong?

  ⎯ Answer me, you son of a bitch.

  ⎯ What’s got into you? It’s just Ernestina.

  ⎯ You went to bed ... you went to bed with her?

  ⎯ Ah, and you haven’t? Come on, Hortensio, don’t take me for a fool. It’s public knowledge that Ernestina gives herself to anyone. I wasn’t the first, nor will I be the last...

  ⎯ Son of a whore. You’re the son of a whore and I thought you were my friend.

  ⎯ Calm down, dude; give it to me more slowly ‘cause I don’t understand nothing. Your prima has it off with just about anyone and we all know that. I thought you’d had her as well. Calm down, wait just a minute...

  ⎯ They’re lies, you hear? Just lies. I swear, Ramiro, touch her again and I’ll kill you, you bastard.

  ⎯ That’s OK, dude, I got it; if I touch her again, you’ll kill me. I swear by my mother that I’ll never do it again. Listen, Hortensio, wait, bro’, where are you going? Listen, don’t cry, buddy. Don’t cry, Hortensio. Look, brother, I had no idea that Ernestina floated your boat so badly. Listen to me, dammit. Look at me and stop moving around like you’ve got ants in your pants. You never told me Ernestina meant anything to you. If you’d told me, do you think anything would have happened between me and her? I swear by everything that’s sacred that I wouldn’t have dared to even look at her, ’cause I have respect for my friends. But you didn’t say anything, you never gave the slightest hint that you were interested in your prima and I’m not a mind reader. Look, dude, Ernestina isn’t really my type, but, you know, she’s a woman and I’m a man. Truth is, she’s good. Who looks a gift horse in the mouth, eh? If you’d said something, I’d have known that the story was; same as with your brother, Lolito... No, dude, don’t take it like that; the same thing happened to Lolito, just like you. Wait a minute, dude, don’t go yet. I said too much, I know, but at some stage you were gonna find out and it would have happened the same as now. Lolito has slept with her too, and lots of others. No, they’re not lies, Hortensio, it’s the truth and, if I’m telling you this, it’s to open your eyes. Ernestina’s a slut. Sorry...sorry, not a slut, I meant to say she likes to screw and there’s nothing wrong with that. Now, if you love her, don’t let her give herself to other guys, just keep her for yourself. Calm down, dammit, stop crying. Look, let’s go inside so every Tom, Dick and Harry doesn’t see you crying like a girl. It’s not the end of the world, I’m your friend and I’ll prove it to you. I’m gonna make Tinita ... well, I don’t call her that ..., Ernestina, I’m gonna make Ernestina fall in love with you and, if you want, I can fix it up for you. Calm down and pay attention. If you want, I’ll pay the hotel, dammit,... but you’ve also gotta realise that Ernestina has a screw loose. Haven’t they put her into the asylum heaps of times? No, she’s not crazy, I didn’t say that; but there’s no doubt that something’s wrong with her head. Ok, dude? Have you calmed down? Forgive me, bro’, forgive me. No, I won’t tell anyone, I promise. OK, I swear. Look, let’s go to the cantina and have a few beers, my shout, but take that battered dog look off your face. I’m with you, dude, but I don’t know who’s nuttier, you or her...!

  52

  I’m not saying I don’t love my husband, he’s a good man and, although he’s not very bright, at least he has a good heart. Sure, I love him, a bit. You can’t really love someone you don’t admire, someone who isn’t up to much, like Francisco. I have always been grateful and I shall continue to be grateful for the way he looks after my daughter, Ernestina. But he doesn’t do it for me; he doesn’t give me butterflies in my stomach. He doesn’t have that gift, at least not with me. Even when I first married him I didn’t feel anything special, I just cared for him a little. You know, and by now pretty well everyone knows, that I married Francisco because I was pregnant and I’m not going to go into that again.

  However, I will never divorce my husband. Why would I? To get married? With whom? Someone else just as dim-witted, or even worse? No thanks, I’m fine the way I am. I live my life and Francisco lives his, and both of us are in peace. Why did Francisco marry me? I haven’t the slightest idea; maybe to give his mamá a heart attack; that’s his problem.

  How can I put it? Lolo and I get on more or less OK. The problem was that I have a bad temper and his was even worse. That’s why we clashed a lot and we’d argue about just about anything. It used to make me cross to see how he treated Natalia and I wasn’t gonna keep quiet about it. I’d tell him so; I’d curse at him; I’d yell at him and, well, he would too.

  ⎯ Don’t stick your nose into other people’s business ⎯ he said to me once. ⎯ Natalia’s my wife and I’ll deal to her any way I want.

  ⎯ You’re just a bully; you think you’re very macho, but the truth is, you’re not the one who wears the trousers, in fact, you don’t even get to wear shorts.

  ⎯ Shut up, bitch, or one day you’ll be the one at the receiving end.

  ⎯ I’m not afraid of you; just you lay a finger on me and you’ll see what fuss I’ll make.

  ⎯ We’ll see about that.

  Despite all of this, Natalia didn’t kill, Lolo, I’m certain. She was with me at that very moment. On the other hand, it wouldn’t surprise me if she’d had him knocked off, ‘cause although she was all subdued and submissive, there are limits. People get tired of being mistreated; they get tired of always being taken advantage of, no? I wouldn’t blame her if she did hire a hit man, but I don’t really believe she did – when all’s said and done, Natalia isn’t as stupid as she seems. She would have preferred to disappear off the face of the earth rather than have the blood of a drone like that on her hands. Natalia didn’t do it; and if she did, I’d be the first to congratulate her.

  53

  TRAGEDY IN THE AJUSCO

  Young woman dies for the sake of depravity

  By Virginia Morales

  Mexico City. –An innocent young woman was found in the Ajusco hills this morning. Her body showed signs of strangulation and it is suspected that she had been abused by her despicable assailant.

  At 15:00 yesterday, a local man, Gustavo Montes, discovered the body of Estéfani García when he went into the woods to urinate, having eaten his sagrados alimentos at one of the many quesadilla stalls in the area. He lost no time in contacting the local authorities to advise them of the fact.

  Estéfani García had just recently celebrated her sixteenth birthday. She was a diligent young woman at school, an excellent daughter and had no boyfriend or known vices. Her parents, Reynaldo and Josefa García, had reported the youngster’s disappearance fifteen days previously, when they realised their beloved first born had failed to come home that night.

  When Gustavo Montes discovered the body of the deceased, it was already in an advanced state of decay, making it difficult for the distraught parents to identify the body.

  The medical examiner stated that the victim showed no sign of having been tortured, as her body had no evidence of being beaten, cigarette burns, needle pricks, tissue damage or fractures, not uncommon in victims of this kind. The physician concluded that the cause of death was strangulation; that the young woman put up no resistance; and lastly, that the young victim showed no signs of having been sexually assaulted, the heartless assailant having satisfied his base needs by ejaculating over the dead body of his victim. Still not satisfied with such depravity, the offender dressed the young girl in woman’s suspenders under her school uniform. />
  This incident has shocked the local community, who are demanding justice and that the abhorrent murderer be strung up from the highest tree in the area.

  54

  I’m sorry if I was rude to you the other day, Señor Detective, it’s just that sometimes I can’t help it.

  No, I’m usually not an aggressive person. It’s just that lately I’ve been a bit irritable. It all started about two months ago when my daughter got in the family way. Tell me, wouldn’t you feel like getting stuck into the first idiot that crossed your path.

  No, no, no. I didn’t mean it that way; you’re not an idiot, it’s just an expression, I apologise.

  The worst thing is, that drone boyfriend didn’t want to show his face and headed off up to Ciudad Juárez, or at least that’s what they say. He came back for Lolo Manón’s funeral though, but you can imagine, it wasn’t the time or the place to have it out with him.

  One afternoon, my wife and I went to Lolo Manón’s house. Natalia was at the store and we didn’t want to make a fuss about the whole thing in public, so we talked to Lolo in private.