Natasha's Hope

by Heather Greenis

  “If I’m sleeping, you must wake me, Hope. I cherish my time with our son. You feed him, I burp him. Why were you so upset? Why did you jump out of bed?”

  “I wasn’t up through the night with him. Alex slept.”

  He kissed the back of her head. “That is pleasing news indeed that he slept through the night. I appreciated a full night’s sleep.”

  Placing her hands on Adam’s arms, she pulled his body tight against hers.

  “I’ve been a nervous momma. I feared I would wake and discover I’d lost another child.”

  “We have a content, strong, healthy son. I’m greatly pleased as a poppa and husband.”

  * * *

  A few months later, Hope walked out of the nursery and over to her father’s sitting room. Looking in, he and Izabella were playing cards. She tapped on their door.

  “Adam and I wish to swim this evening. Would you be so kind as to listen for Alex? He’s exhausted after playing with Matthew and Tessa today. He shouldn’t wake.”

  “Indeed,” Izabella responded. “You haven’t had private time since Alex’s birth. Our door shall remain open while you’re out.”

  “It is much appreciated.”

  They walked hand in hand toward the water. The thick wall of tall shrubs surrounding the pond required trimming, but not tonight. Adam opened the gate for her.

  “I don’t expect company this evening with your poppa and Izabella listening for Alex.” Adam gave Hope a seductive kiss on the side of her neck. “If my memory of the diary is accurate, you swam in the nude as a child.”

  Hope giggled.

  “Momma was not pleased in the beginning.”

  “I believe she wrote of your enjoyment. Your poppa expected your husband to be a fortunate man. Perhaps it is time to relive your youth,” he suggested with a wink. “I’m willing to remove my attire and join you.”

  “Pray tell. What has happened to my shy, reserved husband?”

  “He’s in love with his wife.”

  “That’s pleasing to hear, but I’ll leave the past in the past. You’re welcome to swim as you please,” she informed him.

  Hope dove into the water with Adam right behind. They spent over an hour at the pond that evening.

  * * *

  Alex was six months old when Izabella suggested Hope take Alex on a day away from the orphanage. Together with Vicki and Tessa, the women could go shopping. Stewart hitched the horses to the buggy and Hope held Alex in her arms. She looked back smiling and waving as Izabella guided the team from the building.

  They returned with packages, smiles and a sleeping baby. Stewart carried Alex to the nursery while Adam assisted with the packages. Stewart joined Adam on the chair in the master bedroom and waited for the fashion show. Izabella appeared from behind the barrier in a skirt and blouse.

  “Alex was attempting to make his desires known,” Hope informed them from behind the second privacy barrier. “When he didn’t receive adequate attention, he began making little noises.”

  “He was a little flirt with the women,” Izabella added.

  “A little flirt?” Adam questioned. “My son doesn’t seem to possess any Venderkemp traits. Blue eyes and the Donovan personality and spunk.”

  “It will be nice if Alex inherits your smile. The girls shall adore him as I do you.” Hope stepped from behind the barrier, modelling her new pink dress.

  The following day, Hope fastened Alex’s new bathing attire, held him in her arms, and walked into the pond. The water touched his toes. He squirmed and giggled. Stepping further into the water, the water touched his belly.

  “Eeeee.”

  Hope’s ears rang from the high-pitched tone of his squeal. Pulling her head back, she closed her eyes. “My gosh. I’m going to go deaf if you keep that up.”

  Adam reached for his son and stepped away from her.

  “My little flirt,” she scolded, looking into his sparkling blue eyes. “You must learn manners in haste. The girls will not wish to be courted if you behave so rudely.”

  Hearing chuckling, she looked toward the grass where her father and Izabella were dangling their feet in the water. Alex flung his arms and splashed his father.

  * * *

  “The anniversary of Alex’s birth is approaching,” Hope informed Poppa during an evening chat.

  She sat upright on the chair and fidgeted with her fingers.

  “I wish to give my son a party, and … to invite Anna, Alex’s great grandmother,” she informed him. She sat with her hands folded on her lap, uncertain of his reaction. “Since my marriage, I don’t visit Anna regularly. I’m guilt-ridden knowing she has only seen Alex six times.”

  Her father sat back on the sofa, took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly.

  “I shall be firm in my stand that my grandfather will not be welcomed,” Hope continued. “Anna will be invited for a short visit after the meal. We will remain outside the building.”

  Stewart remained silent. Hope regretted initiating the conversation. Recalling her father’s reaction to Anna and Harold at her wedding, Hope had vowed to keep her grandmother out of her father’s sight. To abide by her mother’s last wishes and avoid her grandfather. It had been twenty-four years since her momma passed and her father still blamed her parents. But this celebration was her choice. Alex was her son, and the decision was hers. She didn’t expect her father to join them. She took a deep breath.

  “Poppa, Anna deserves the opportunity to know my child, her great-grandchild. I don’t expect you to join us, or make her acquaintance.”

  “She will cherish the opportunity to become acquainted with Alexander,” he finally said.

  A warm sensation consumed her being. Ecstatic, she beamed. Adam had questioned the idea, but Hope had faith in her poppa. Hope leaned over and embraced him.

  “Thank you, Poppa. You have my assurance. She will not be invited indoors. My grandfather will be not invited.”

  * * *

  On the day of the birthday celebration, Nana and Papa Donovan arrived shortly after breakfast and Adam’s parents within the hour. They all spent time with little Alex. Vicki, Greg, Matthew, and Tessa were visiting in the parlour when Adam entered the room and announced that Nanny and her uncles were due to arrive. Adam and her father joined Hope outside, and they waited for the carriage to appear.

  Alex, the orphanage children, and his cousins devoured the cake and went outside to play. The children were giggling and laughing.

  “My gosh, Anna is due to arrive shortly,” Hope informed her family.

  She carried her son indoors and dressed him in a special outfit before changing into a shimmering green dress. Having instructed Tom and the volunteers to keep the children playing at the far side of the property, Hope led Vicki and Nanny outside. Adam had set two chairs by the trees, one for Nanny and one for Anna. The family had moved indoors to visit. Hope and Vicki sat on the blanket with Alex, awaiting her grandmother’s arrival. Seeing the carriage, Hope and Nanny stood and went to her grandmother, leaving Vicki on the blanket with Alex. Anna stepped down in an olive coloured dress and matching bonnet, turned, and reminded her attendant to remain in the carriage.

  * * *

  Stewart stood with Izabella by his side, watching the women from the window in the door. Hearing a door close, he turned to see Adam walk out of the playroom. His son-in-law joined them. Izabella kissed Stewart’s cheek.

  “I will be with Greg, Marcus, and your parents,” she informed them.

  Adam took Izabella’s place and looked out the window at the women sitting on the blanket conversing.

  “I wish to become acquainted with Hope’s grandmother,” Adam admitted confidently. “I fear I was intimidated on the day of our wedding, but I’m more comfortable now. Would you care to join me as I walk out?”

  Mixed emotions flooded his body. Hope was a grown woman with her own family. No longer threatened by Natasha’s parents, he still lacked the desire to meet the woman Natasha called Mother. He loved Izabell
a, but missed Natasha and the love and happiness they could have shared.

  “To be honest, I’m not certain,” Stewart replied, keeping his focus on the women. “I expected time to heal the wound in my heart, but it has not. I still have vivid memories of Natasha as she lay on our bed, lifeless. My heart will always blame her parents. I will always grieve for Natasha.”

  Adam placed a hand on his shoulder. “Hope has found it in her heart to forgive her grandmother. We have all made regrettable mistakes and do not possess the ability to step back in time and reverse our decision. We must learn from our errors, hold our heads high, and move on. I’m not asking you to forget, but allow a small portion of your heart to forgive. Join me as we celebrate Alex’s birth. If you become uncomfortable, or too emotional, you are able to return indoors. Both Hope and Nanny will understand.”

  Unable to argue with his son-in-law’s logic, Stewart took a deep breath and glanced down at his attire. Both he and Adam were dressed in dark trousers and light shirts and jackets. He was respectable enough to greet Hope’s grandmother. Stewart opened the door.

  “I’m proud of you, Stewart,” Marcus remarked.

  Stewart looked over his shoulder to see his brother-in-law standing at the playroom door. “It’s time I did this.”

  Together, he and Adam went outside.

  * * *

  Hope was talking to Anna when Vicki’s eyes shifted toward the building. Turning, she stifled a small gasp at the sight of her father and Adam walking out the door. They are coming out to join us. Ecstatic, a smile broke free. Contain yourself. Don’t get too excited. I must keep my expectations low and not expect miracles. It would be wonderful if Poppa and Anna would acknowledge each other in a civil manner. She noticed Uncle Marcus standing at the door, watching them. Come join us. She raised her eyebrows and nodded slightly, attempting to encourage him. Her uncle never moved.

  Hope turned her attention back to her husband and father. Adam and Stewart stopped a few feet from them. Stewart stood rigid, almost frozen. His attention shifted to the blanket where Alex was settled, avoiding eye contact with Anna. Speak, Poppa. Say something. He remained silent, his eyes locked on Alex. Hope’s gaze shifted between her father and grandmother. The tension grew with the awkward silence. Alex will cry if he senses the unease in the adults. No. I will not have it. I will not allow anyone to upset him. She took a deep breath, hoping for the best.

  “Anna, allow me to introduce my poppa, Stewart Donovan, and my husband, Adam Venderkemp,” she stated confidently.

  Adam stepped forward, bowed and then raised his head. Anna stood, smiled, extended her hand, and they exchanged pleasantries before Adam stepped to the side. He glanced into the heavens. Thank you, Adam. Hope turned her attention back to her father. He hadn’t moved or looked up.

  “Poppa.”

  * * *

  Stewart watched Adam, proud of his son-in-law. Now, his turn, it was the moment he had dreaded, and avoided most of his adult life. He had to make a choice—become acquainted with Natasha’s mother or return to the security of his home. His heart pounded. His hands felt clammy. Even his mouth felt dry and pasty. He tried to breathe. He and Hope had a wonderful life. As Adam pointed out, he must hold his head up and move on. Taking another deep breath, he slowly titled his head until he was looking directly at Anna. Recalling the portrait Natasha had shown him many years earlier, this woman had not aged well. Not like his momma. Her face appeared worn and tired. Heavy lines ran down her cheeks, and across her forehead. The death of Anna’s daughter and the decline in her husband’s health had been hard on the former monarch.

  Using all the courage and determination in his body, Stewart forced the words from his mouth. “I’m honoured to make your acquaintance.”

  He bowed his head slightly. Anna moved her hand toward Stewart in greeting. Verbalizing the greeting had been challenge enough; he had no need or want for physical contact. His hands remained stiff by his side. Anna folded her hands together and then placed them over her mouth. A single tear wet her cheek. Stewart did not attempt to the mask his own discomfort.

  “I do not possess adequate words,” Anna began. “My daughter was expected to follow tradition. Not become independent and follow her heart. To this day, I regret my decision not to support Natasha. I was a coward and lacked the courage to confront my husband. I will never forgive myself for the pain I have caused her family. It is my hope that someday you will be able to find it in your heart to forgive me.”

  Unsure how to respond, he swallowed the lump in his throat. Natasha lived in his heart and memories. Both he and Hope had found contentment, but missed her terribly.

  “It’s pleasing you were able to see Hope grow,” Stewart said. “She possesses many of Natasha’s qualities.”

  “It is my belief she possesses qualities from both parents. Hope’s resemblance to Natasha has always been apparent, but until this moment, seeing yourself and your sister, I didn’t realize the blue eyes and blonde hair were traits from her father’s family.”

  The conversation with Anna was not warm or affectionate, but Hope winked and smiled at him. She turned and whispered something to Adam. He stood and walked off, returning a few minutes later with Nana and Papa Donovan and his parents. Greg followed behind with some chairs, but returned to the orphanage. Hope made the introductions, and the chatter continued.

  “After meeting with you, I’m able to appreciate the many attributes that would have touched my daughter’s heart. You are a warm, compassionate man and it is obvious you’re still in love with Natasha.”

  “Indeed I am.”

  “Hope has informed me you have met an acquaintance.”

  Stewart’s attention dropped to Alex. One word and Izabella would be retrieved. No. My personal relationship is none of Anna’s concern.

  “Yes. I have.”

  The silence became awkward, but that didn’t bother Stewart. He had been introduced to Anna.

  “Alex’s cousins would appreciate time with the birthday boy,” Hope informed Anna, breaking the stillness. “My son adores his time with them. Adam, would you assist Anna to her carriage?”

  Adam stood and extended his hand to Anna. He assisted her from the chair, and the remainder of the family stood.

  “It was a pleasure making your acquaintance,” Anna informed Stewart and Adam. She turned, looked at Stewart’s parents and Adam’s parents and smiled. Then she turned her attention back to Hope. “I’m grateful for the opportunity to see your son on this joyous occasion. It is apparent Alexander possesses your husband’s smile.”

  “My son has inherited characteristics from his poppa and papa. Momma would be just as pleased.”

  A warm sensation filled Stewart’s being. He smiled. No truer comment could be spoken. Adam walked with Anna and assisted her into the carriage. The carriage began travelling toward the road.

  “Thank you,” Hope whispered, embracing her father. “For making this day memorable.”

  “I did it for you, my darling Hope.”

  * * *

  “Wow. Stewart finally met Anna. I’m not sure I would have. I guess I really hold a grudge,” Keeghan remarked.

  “You have a compassionate heart, love,” Will reminded her.

  * * *

  “Hope, your uncle Marcus is here to see you.”

  Hope turned away from the volunteer she was standing with. “Thank you, Tom. Would you be so kind as to locate Adam, Poppa or Izabella.”

  Hope walked out of the study room surprised to see Uncle Joshua in the lobby. “I expected to see Uncle Marcus.”

  “I did not feel it necessary to correct Tom. Marcus arrives more regularly.”

  Not wishing to have her visit interrupted, she led him out the main door and toward the addition.

  They sat on the sofa and enjoyed small talk for a few minutes.

  “My father, your grandfather passed this morning.”

  Unable to feel remorse, Hope felt guilty about her lack of emotion at the news. Sh
e heard the words, but her heart was unable to grieve a man she hadn’t met, a man both her parents despised. She sat by her uncle’s side, unable to speak or cry. She lacked consoling words.

  “Oh.”

  The door opened and her father entered the room. After exchanging pleasantries, Uncle Joshua spoke of his father’s death.

  “My sincere sympathies. You must extend our condolences to Marcus and your families,” Stewart said formally.

  “That is much appreciated, Stewart. I’m aware you never made his acquaintance or bear him any love. Knowing the circumstances, in your position, I would not have attempted to become acquainted, either. My visit is twofold. In accordance with Natasha’s final wishes, Father was not given an opportunity to meet his daughter’s family, something that tormented him daily.”

  Watching her father’s face, his expression, there was no sign of remorse.

  “As you recall, Stewart,” Joshua continued, “your marriage occurred in a private ceremony. Few people were aware of your relationship with Natasha. At this time, in my official capacity, I wish to invite your family to Father’s funeral and into the castle. You shall be introduced as Princess Natasha’s husband and daughter.” He turned his attention back to Hope before continuing. “Alexander will be raised, under your guidance, as a member of the royal family. Your family shall live the life to which you are entitled.”