Natasha's Hope

by Heather Greenis

  Alex put his horse into the barn when he reached the sanctuary of the orphanage, then dashed to the private entrance. The door slammed behind him. He bolted up the steps and into his room.

  * * *

  “Elaine and Alex are more similar than Alex cares to admit,” Keeghan whispered to Will.

  “Get out. She’s a bitch.”

  “Yes, I appreciate that, but think about it. They both suck at communicating. Alex is lousy at voicing his opinion, and, as my poppa would say, Elaine has verbal diarrhea. She yaps non-stop about nothing, but somehow forgets to mention the important stuff. In her mind as long as she is happy, Alex will be happy. In his mind, if he ignores the problems, things will simply work out.”

  “You’re right. They both suck at communicating. God help them if they had had kids.”

  “God help him if they reconcile. Alex is a follower, not a leader. The question is, can a follower manage a business?”

  “The orphanage? Good question. In my opinion, not with any degree of success. Not well at any rate,” Will responded.

  “Adam was shy but respected. Will Alex be respected as the owner of the business? Will Hope and Adam let go of the reins to allow him control?” Keeghan asked. “As the owner of a retail store, I wouldn’t.”

  “No. Neither would I.”

  * * *

  A door within their private quarters slammed shut. Hope raised her head from her task in the kitchen.

  “Excuse me.” She left the volunteer and went to investigate what sounded like a herd of wild creatures charging up the steps. Following the sound, another door slammed. Reaching the hallway, Adam entered from the infirmary area.

  “Was that Rose?” he asked.

  “I’m not certain, but two doors slammed just now. Rose is visiting school chums. Alex is at Elaine’s. I must assume it was our dramatic daughter.”

  Hope walked down the hall and tapped lightly on the door. Not hearing a response, she looked at Adam and then opened it. Rose’s bed was made and the room was empty.

  “She isn’t here.”

  Hope closed the door and continued to Alex’s room. She tapped on his door.

  “Alex?”

  There was no response. Opening the door, she saw Alex sprawled on the edge of his bed. She could hear him sobbing. Alex covered his face with his hands and rolled away from her.

  “Close the door,” Adam ordered quietly. “He deserves his privacy.”

  Hope was about to respond, when Adam placed his finger over her lips. He reached around her and pulled the door closed. Hope’s mind raced, contemplating different scenarios. She followed Adam to their bedroom and closed the door.

  “I’m certain he and Elaine quarrelled. My heart is breaking to see him hurt. But, I pray this upset is caused by a broken engagement.”

  “We must remain patient, Hope. He will approach us when he’s ready. I don’t expect to see him until the morning. Allow him the evening to ponder and reflect.”

  “I can pray.”

  “Yes. We can both pray. We’ll prepare a meal tray and leave it at his door.”

  * * *

  It was a long night. One of the longest of his life. Unable to sleep, Alex thought of Christine and then about his relationship with Elaine. His mind drifted to the first time he heard the rumours about her. Then he thought of the day they had coffee.

  “She talked while I listened. That had never changed. I’m embarrassed to think how naive I’ve been. A university education. Psychology. I don’t deserve my degree. I ignored the obvious problems with her behaviour.” He squirmed in retrospect. “No wonder Rose hated the woman so much. I must tell everyone there will be no wedding. How humiliating.” His heart sank.

  The sun began to rise.

  “Momma and Poppa deserve to know the truth. They deserve to hear it from me.” Exhausted, he pushed himself out of bed and wandered down the hall and tapped on their bedroom door.

  * * *

  Relaxing in bed, the tap on the door interrupted Hope and Adam’s conversation.

  “Momma? Poppa?”

  “Come in, Alex,” she responded.

  He opened the door, walked into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Looking into his red-rimmed eyes, they were a sleepy shade of blue.

  “You do not appear rested.”

  “I had a restless night,” he responded solemnly. “Elaine and I are no longer engaged.”

  Hope bit her bottom lip, attempting to control her smile. Elated, she fought, but kept her emotions hidden. She and Adam leaned back and listened as Alex spoke of his relationship with Elaine, beginning the day she approached him outside his class at school. Agh, you’ve been more naive than I thought. “You did not tell her you were upset by the ring?” Hope questioned.

  “I found myself speechless. The day we shared….”

  Hope glanced at Adam. It was never openly discussed, but they knew Alex had shared her bed.

  “I expected to ask for her father’s blessing, shop for the perfect ring, and slide it onto her finger once she accepted my proposal.”

  “That wasn’t an unreasonable expectation,” Adam remarked. “I was nervous about speaking to Stewart and proposing to your momma, but I recall the day with fond memories.”

  “As do I,” Hope admitted. “You didn’t speak to us in private about the engagement?”

  “No. I spoke to Elaine in private after dinner, certain that in the future, she would discuss her plans with me.”

  “Elaine became domineering early in your relationship. I don’t understand your reluctance to stand up to her.”

  “Both you and Izabella are outspoken, as is Rose. Elaine did not seem so different to me.”

  Hope’s hands crossed in front of her face as she lowered her head. How embarrassing. I’m ashamed to think Alex compares me to Elaine. Please tell me I’m nothing like that horrid woman.

  “Alex,” Adam groaned. “It’s impossible to compare Elaine to the women in your life.

  Hope dropped her hands and listened to Adam.

  “Your momma, Izabella, and Rose possess compassion and common sense. I have a quiet demeanour with a voice that could easily remain unheard, yet my opinion is sought after and respected. Every major decision has been thoroughly discussed.”

  “Minor issues are also discussed,” Hope added. “Your poppa’s opinion is valued.”

  “Communication is vital,” Adam continued. “Your momma and I share a true union of souls. Your sister is a strong-willed young woman, but she does not make decisions that concern Richard without his approval.”

  “Hindsight,” Alex responded quietly. “I didn’t see her faults until I saw her father’s expression when I declined the job offer. I was furious when she told me of the house I was expected to live in. With time to think last evening, well, I have been blind for … for a long time. I had chums while courting Christine and they were envious when I began courting Elaine. Slowly, many chums disappeared from my life. Elaine was not interested in my friends. She was not interested in my chosen career. In the end, I discovered she only wished to associate with people of the upper class. I was a naïve, blind, stupid fool. It was foolish to believe the woman I loved would share my passion for the orphanage. My passion for the children.”

  “You will learn from the experience,” Adam reminded him. “In the future, when you become acquainted—”

  “There will not be another,” Alex blurted bluntly.

  “You were together almost two years. You are hurting right now, but time will heal,” Adam assured his son.

  “Yes,” Hope agreed. “It’s ironic. Elaine did not feel you were capable of supporting her financially, yet I am certain we are one of the wealthiest families in the area. We don’t flaunt that. There is no need. It would be detrimental to this business.”

  * * *

  Alex pursed his lips tightly together and nodded.

  Something deep inside had always stopped Alex from mentioning his royal heritage and Papa Stewart’s b
usiness. Now, that fact gave him a sense of relief.

  “Elaine flaunts her wealth and class, but prestige is of no importance to me. I’m grateful I discovered the truth before we wed. The wedding. “Agh. I require a copy of the wedding guest list, Momma. I fear I will appear very foolish when I contact the guests and explain there will not be a wedding.”

  Hope looked toward Adam and crawled out of bed. She walked over to her wardrobe, retrieved the box Elaine had given her and handed it to her son. “We have not delivered a single invitation.”

  “I’m filled with mixed emotions. I’m disappointed. These should have been delivered. That said, I’m relieved. You have saved me the embarrassment of informing these people there will not be a wedding.”

  Adam sat quietly.

  “I am aware they were to be delivered weeks ago. I am sincerely sorry, but I admit I procrastinated. Something I had no right to do. I possess the Donovan procrastination gene. You must inform Aunt Vicki, Matthew, and Nana Venderkemp. If you wish, your poppa and I will accompany you when you inform your Nana.”

  Adam nodded. “I expect she will be disappointed, being rather fond of Elaine.”

  “Nana Venderkemp does not possess the ability to dislike anyone.”

  “Nay. That is true,” Hope admitted. “I don’t know a woman with a kinder, more compassionate heart.”

  “I’m aware you weren’t fond of Elaine, but I love … I was in love with her,” he stated, correcting himself.

  “I recognized her flaws and didn’t appreciate the change I saw in you,” Hope responded, defending her attitude.

  “I cannot fathom a life outside the orphanage, let alone working for her father….” Alex stopped. “My word. The ramifications. He would have been my father-in-law. Mr. McClaire is unable to disappoint Elaine.”

  “He was counting the seconds, eagerly waiting for you to say your vows,” Adam blurted out. “The creature he created found a man willing to take her as his wife.”

  “Poppa,” Alex exclaimed, his eyebrows raised.

  “My apologies. Perhaps that was cruel.” His poppa attempted to sound sincere, but was unable to as he fought a grin. “I believe it’s the Donovan influence.”

  Alex fought his own smile.

  “It is funny and more true than I care to admit. It is apparent you spend too much time in Papa’s company.”

  “You made a wise decision ending the engagement. You must take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and allow yourself the opportunity for a new beginning,” Hope suggested.

  “New beginning,” he repeated. “I am not certain I know where to begin, Momma.”

  She reached out and held his hand. “Alexander Stewart Venderkemp has been smothered, but I am able to say with certainty, he will resurface. Spending time with the children will be beneficial.”

  “You must open your eyes and your heart, Alex,” Adam added. “Once the women in the area discover you’re single and available, the orphanage will be inundated with female volunteers again. Your papa and I are able to confirm a special woman will enter your life when least expected. In time, Elaine will be a faded memory.”

  “I must inform Papa and Izabella.”

  “As well as your sister,” Hope reminded him. “Rose wants to rebuild your relationship.”

  Alex left their room and walked down the hallway. Not trusting his own judgment, he wasn’t interested in meeting another woman. Although he initiated the breakup with Elaine, he missed her terribly.

  He knocked on the door. “Papa.”

  “Alex. Come in.”

  Alex entered the room and sat beside his grandfather. He’d cried so many tears already, he didn’t think it was possible to shed another, yet relaying the events of the previous night, his eyes filled once again. Izabella walked out of the bedroom with her shawl covering her dressing gown and sat on the other Stewart.

  “You have been hurt by a lack of love and support by your family and I apologize for that,” Papa informed him. “We were less than pleased with your relationship, yet who you decide to associate with is your decision, not ours. Years ago, Natasha’s parents were not willing to accept our relationship and the result of that decision was tragic. I’m ashamed to admit this family acted as Natasha’s parents did, while Elaine’s family took the role of my parents.” He closed his eyes for a brief moment and gave his head a wee shake. “That infuriates me.”

  Izabella had lowered her head. It was no secret, she had refused to speak with Elaine and was vocal about her opinion of the girl.

  “I regret my attitude and actions and will be eternally grateful that we did not lose you from our lives,” Papa continued.

  “Your honesty is appreciated, but the situations cannot be compared,” Alex responded. “Nana’s parents were not willing to accept Nana had fallen in love. You weren’t given a chance to prove your love for Nana.”

  “True, but this family didn’t respect your decision. Natasha’s parents did not respect her decision to remain with me.” Papa paused and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “I miss the closeness we shared, Alex.”

  “As do I,” he admitted.

  “I’m capable of listening without voicing an opinion. Your momma was courted by a number of young men whom I did not feel were suitable, but I kept silent.”

  Alex remained quiet. If Papa was hoping for insight into his feelings and not simply the facts of his actions, Alex wasn’t capable of giving him that. Not yet. The diary came to mind. He hadn’t written in the journal in months.

  “Alex. When your nana passed, writing in the journal was a great help to me. More than I expected. Allow yourself a release. Allow the words to flow onto paper.”

  “Thanks, Papa. I must speak with Rose.” Alex stood and walked out of the room. He tapped gently on his sister’s door.

  “You may enter, Momma.”

  Alex pushed the door open. Rose was sitting up in her bed, wiping the sleepers from her eyes. She turned her head away when she saw him. He leaned against the doorframe.

  “I was expecting Momma. It’s too early to argue, Alex. I will not stand by Elaine’s side as you commit your life to her. If it wasn’t for Poppa’s insistence, I would not be attending the event at all.”

  “The engagement is off. I will not be married.”

  Rose’s eyes widened. She jumped from under the covers and embraced him. After closing her door, she led her brother toward the bed and sat on the edge.

  “Oh my gosh,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry. Truly I am. You must tell me what happened.”

  There was such sincerity in her eyes, it warmed his heart. He took a deep breath, hoping this time, the tears wouldn’t flow.

  “I took your advice and listened to her words. I did not like what I heard.”

  “I am sorry, but you will happier without her.”

  “I have missed our bond. We used to laugh and have fun together.”

  “We did, but you will adore Richard as Momma and Poppa do,” she assured him. “Richard wants to become better acquainted with you. He speaks of it, every time we’re together.”

  “I also want that. Richard is a fortunate man.”

  “I’m the fortunate one. I missed Isaac terribly when he left, but I’m happier with Richard. He is very conservative, but I’m falling in love with him. Momma knew she would marry Poppa, and I plan to marry Richard.”

  “I’m envious of your confidence.”

  “You must learn to trust my opinion, Alex. I want you to be happy. I want to be friends with the woman you love. We must find you a nice woman, someone that brings a twinkle to your eyes and a spark to your heart.”

  Heat rose in waves across his body and into his face. “Rose.” Alex’s fingers covered his burning cheeks. He lowered his head and closed his eyes. Then he glanced up at her and began to chuckle.

  “I missed talking to you. How is it possible that I was engaged to a woman so lacking in compassion and common sense?”

  “So, you must tell me what transpired.
Why you broke off the engagement.”

  After a long chat, Alex left his sister’s room and went down to the main level for breakfast. He returned to the second floor, sat at his desk, and removed the journal. “Perhaps it’s time to start my own.” Alex removed a new journal from his desk, opened it to the first page and stared at the empty page. Papa’s voice echoed in his ears.

  “How can I write of my relationship when I am so embarrassed? I was a fool.” He took a deep breath. “Perhaps it will help to heal my heart.”

  He reached back in his memory to the beginning, surprising himself with the detail he remembered. A long journal entry followed.

  * * *

  Once Alex left their sitting room, Stewart followed Izabella back into their bedroom. She opened her wardrobe in search of a dress. He sat on the edge of their bed.

  “There is a void in his heart,” he remarked. “He doesn’t regret breaking the engagement, but it will be difficult for him to get over such a beautiful woman.”

  “Elaine’s appearance would have been the initial attraction. Jane was a beautiful woman, but to my knowledge, she is no longer in your life.” She tossed a dress onto the bed and sat beside Stewart. “You must correct me if I’m wrong, but I do not believe you regret your decision to end that relationship.”

  “Of course not. Your point is valid, but Jane did not enter my heart.”

  “Elaine didn’t enter Alex’s heart,” Izabella stated confidently. “Infatuation is not love.”

  “I hesitate to dispute with you, but I must. He was in love.”

  “Alex possesses the Donovan eyes. As I have said before, I did not see the twinkle while Elaine was by his side.”