Nathan picks us up in his car, but I don’t care enough to cheer or show my support for him finally getting it back. He drives in the direction of my house and seeing he’s pushing me off again fuels my anger. My hands heat, and the thin film blankets my eyes.
“Sparks, you need to calm down before you set my car on fire,” he says with a scornful edge to his voice.
I ball my fist, hiding my blackening palm. “I’m not going to set your precious car on fire. Don’t talk to me.”
His forehead furrows. “What’s wrong with you?”
“I believe she said don’t talk to her,” Glen says in her sassy, tempered tone.
“I wasn’t talking to you,” he fires back with a threat behind his words.
“Yeah, well, you need not talk to her either, because I don’t want to have to escape a moving car when she blows it up.”
Nathan grinds his teeth and a low rumble sounds in his chest. Silence falls over us.
We pull into my driveway, and Glen jumps out before Nathan can come to a stop. She slams the door, stalks up the driveway, and waits at the front door.
Nathan shifts the car in park, and I grab the door handle. “Sparks, don’t open that door,” he says, deep and commanding.
With the dominance in his tone laced with a power that takes me over, I have no choice but to sit back against the seat. It annoys me; being obligated to do exactly what he demands and not having a choice to get out of this car and walk away from him like I want to do right now.
He sighs, and peacefully says, “Tell me what’s going on.”
I stay quiet.
He moves in the sight of my peripheral vision. “You don’t want to talk?”
I face him for the first time since yesterday morning. My heart skips several beats, and my expression softens, shifting my anger into distress.
The muscles in his face relax, softening his eyes. “Sparks, tell me,” he begs.
“I told him my secret,” I mutter.
Betrayal creeps over Nathan’s eyes, but he doesn’t relay it with any question or rebuttal. For a second. Maybe longer. His eyes wash me in those questions, but the one he asks is, “What do you want me to do?”
“Fix it,” I tell him.
“Okay. I’ll be back later.”
I turn away, nodding as I grab the handle. Grabbing my bag, I get out and gently close the passenger door.
Glen and I walk into my house. She charges off, and I stand by the door, listening for his car to drive away. It doesn’t immediately, not like he usually would. Why, today, would he sit out there longer?
“Tracey?” Dad calls.
“No way,” I mumble under my breath. I’m not dealing with this right now.
He emerges from the family room’s opening. “Ladybug, I’m calling you.”
Here comes Big Bad Dad, ready to mess up my day further. “And I hear you.”
Standing before me, arms at his sides, expression relaxed, he asks, “Why didn’t you answer me?”
“Because I didn’t want to.” Why isn’t that obvious?
“I need to discuss some things with you.”
I start up the stairs, figuring to walk away is better than to be a disrespectful douche to my father. “Maybe later. It’s been a long day.”
Lumbering footsteps follow behind me. I don’t know how Dad can be so skinny but walk so hard. “Just Saturday you had loads to say. You didn’t come back home, and you didn’t call. You come in last night with Glen, completely ignoring your mother and me, and now, you have nothing to say?”
“Nope.”
“I need to speak with you today, Tracey. I’m leaving tomorrow and with you having only two more weeks until graduation, I think we have some things we need to discuss and decisions that need to be made.”
I enter my room with him hot on my heels. “Go ahead and talk, Dad.” I lie on my bed, facing the wall. My sadness is likely written on my face, and I don’t want him to see.
His footsteps cross the room and the cushion of the chaise sounds as he sits. “How was school?”
I don’t answer.
“Where is Nathan?”
Silence.
“I told you it wasn’t going to last long.”
I’m not entertaining him and his blasphemous theories about Nathan and me. I think we have enough issues of our own without adding Dad.
He drags in a breath through his nose. “Tracey, there’s usually two participants in a conversation.”
“You said you wanted to speak with me, not have a conversation. I’m listening.”
“If I speak with you about Nathan, will you provide feedback?”
“Nope.”
“If I speak with you regarding the move, will you provide feedback?”
“I’m not moving. That is my feedback.”
“Have you found a school you’re going to attend?”
“A school in the area.”
Interest causes his voice to rise an octave. “Which one is this?”
I’m not answering. We’re going to Bennington University because it’s in state, and I’ll be majoring in social science. Nathan and I already got started and completed registration. I make great grades and have a good behavior record, and they accepted my application. Nathan helped me write a bomb essay that got me a scholarship, and we start in the fall. So, school? Hole in one. There’s no way I’m telling him this though. I’m don’t know if he’s my real father or still influenced, and I don’t want Roehl to know any more about me than he already does. Remaining standoffish will keep him at a distance.
“If you don’t have a school, you’re going to move.”
“I doubt it,” I mutter.
His throat quenches, causing him to clear it. “If you stay here, aren’t you going to miss your mother and me?” His voice softens and a hint of his own sadness sticks to his question.
I turn over. “Yes,” I mutter. “Of course.”
“But you won’t come with us?”
“No.”
He comes over and sits next to me on my bed. “We’re going to miss you, Ladybug.”
My eyes widen. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“Are you giving me a choice to say otherwise?”
I’m not, but . . .
Mom comes in, and I sit up. “We still don’t agree with you living with Nathan,” she starts, sitting next to Dad. “We’re looking into other living arrangements that you can take advantage of. Now, considering what has already been going on, we’re putting a very high level of responsibility on you, and an even bigger amount of trust in you.” Mom tips her chin downward and narrows her eyes to give me a warning glower.
“It’s not right for you two to live together out of marriage, and you will not have children until you’re thirty. So, don’t do anything to speed that along,” Dad says, waggling his finger.
A glimpse of hope thrills me. They’re giving in! “So I don’t have to move with you guys?”
Dad shakes his head. “You do not have to move with us.”
“But you have to visit and accept that we will visit you. Often,” Mom seconds in a kind voice.
I run across the room and wrap my arms around Dad’s neck. He embraces me and one emotional rock lifts from my shoulders. “Thank you.”
Mom joins our hug. “We love you, Tracey. We just want you to be careful and not get hurt rather you decide to stay in a relationship with Nathan or not. With whoever you’re dating, you have to make sure you’re making decisions that are safe for you.”
“I understand.”
We break apart, and I look in their eyes, studying them. I blink, so the thin film covers my eyes, just to make sure they’re them, and they are. But I still need something to confirm, just in case. “Remember when I used to have those awful hallucinations, and I would spend my nights crying when they’d get really bad?” They nod, both their faces morphing sorry and sympathetic. “Dad, you’d pick me up in your lap, telling me I’m not weird or a freak as
the kids at school and people in the neighborhood had made me believe.” He nods again. “Do you remember what you did to make me feel better?”
Dad flashes a bashful smile that lifts his ears. Standing, he snaps and sways from side to side. “Friday night and the lights are low.” He spins on his toes and sings all the way through the course of the song. “Then I’d pick you up and spin you around in my arms.” He reenacts, pretending he’s holding me by the pit of my arms, as he spins in a circle twice. “I remember those days like they were yesterday, Ladybug.”
“Honey, you’d be laughing by the time he finished Abbe’s song. Your bad day would be forgotten, and we’d be eating ice cream before bedtime.” Mom chuckles. I join her, recalling Dad’s horrible dance moves.
It’s them! “I love you two.” I throw my arms around Mom’s neck.
“We love you,” they say together, voices harmonized.
Mom rubs my back. “When did you start allowing people to sleep in your room?” I assume she’s referring to Glen and last night, already knowing about Nathan.
I want all this to lighten my mood, but it doesn’t. I still feel smothered by a foggy bubble. “I don’t really feel like talking about that right now.”
“Okay, honey.” She stands. “Glen is sitting in the family room. Will she be sleeping over again?”
“Yes.” I guess. I don’t think she can go home with only her there and no one to watch out for her. She’s likely completely capable of taking care of herself, especially if she knows how to control her abilities, but no one gets left behind, and no one has to fight alone. Newcomb family rule.
“Okay,” she says, heading from my room. “Come down for dinner in a few.”
“I will.”
“For the record, Ladybug. This was your mother’s convincing. I still think you should move with us, but I know you’re growing up and you may not live with your mother and me for the rest of your life.” He hugs me to him.
“Good to hear, Dad.”
A loving grin lifts his chin. “I want you to know I love you, and I apologize for my actions this past weekend. I guess I’m just not ready to see my ladybug fly away.” There’s an edge of joy in his voice that’s been missing for the past few months.
My shoulders slacken as relief washes over me. Dad’s finally him again. “It’s okay. You were just being a dad.” And unfortunately influenced by the enemy. Roehl’s a dick for coming after my father to get to me.
“I was being a dad and will remain as such. Don’t do anything to make me come here and enforce that dad to you or Nathan.”
Smiling, I say, “I won’t.” I meet his eyes. “I promise.”
He sits back beside me. “Good. Can you tell me what’s bothering you?”
“Just dealing with life.” The life I chose.
“How is that treating you?”
“Better. Starting with this talk.” I do feel a lot better. With Dad finally on my team, things may be looking up. He’s never been the type to be a hardass, but I guess with having his only daughter mated with some guy, and the influence of a stranger, he may have a lot going on too.
Dad grins. “If you want to talk about it, let me know.” He gives me a side hug and stands. “I’ll be leaving tomorrow and will not be returning until Sunday for your graduation. We plan to move a month after. We’ll discuss living arrangements after your mother and I have had more time to research it.”
“Okay, I’m sure we’ll have another talk before the big move.”
“Yes, we will. You, me, and Nathan.”
I chuckle. He kisses the top of my head and leaves from my room.
Lying back in my bed, I call, Nathan?
Yes, Sparks.
Busy?
You need me?
Yes. Come over?
Door or window?
Window.
Okay.
I push my door closed and turn the lock. Crossing the floor to the chaise, I sit to wait, but Nathan’s coming through the window as I’m lying back. He strides over to me. That strong, assertive strut that makes the rest of the world nonexistent as I ogle at his approach.
He pulls me up, sits down, and then sits me across him. “Hey.”
“Hi.”
He brushes a soft kiss across my forehead. “Wassup?”
I lean back and take his hand in mine. His is warm and heavy, and his stress has caused his veins to bulge under his skin. I trace them, willing a calm to expel from my fingertips and sink into his hand. “I don’t have to move,” I tell as the tension in his muscles loosens.
“That’s good news,” he says cooly.
“Yeah. They’re still not thrilled about the thought of me living with you, but they didn’t reject the idea, knowing it’s probably going to happen.”
“Is it?” he asks, seeming uncertain.
“Do you not want it to?”
His brows knit as he stares at our hands. “It’s not me, Tracey.”
“Can you be open with me? Give me a direct answer?”
He sighs. “I want you at home. But do you? Do you want to be with me, period?” The blank look on his face and the emptiness in his words make his spill come off non-caring, but I know Nathan well enough to read his words and not his body language. He cares about my decisions, but for whatever reason, he doesn’t want me to see that.
I scoot off his lap and sit beside him. “Yes. I do.”
“Only me?”
My nostrils flare as I suck in a deep breath. “Nathan, don’t do this. Please.”
“It’s really hard, Sparks. Olar told me you two talked,” he reveals in a tone lower than he’s been using. “I’m heartbroken over it. I thought you were further away from choosing him, but you tell him things you won’t tell me. Things we’ve argued about and you swore you’d never release. I’m second to him for you, and that’s a stab in the gut.”
I knit my brows, considering the outcome of my confession. Anyone who’s witnessed my hallucinations, besides my parents, has always judged me. I’ve assumed Nathan would too; he’d think I’m a freak, just like everyone else has. But he turns blood red and gets black, brittle nails. He’s the big bad wolf but the sweetest teddy bear with the most adorable laugh when I tickle his sides. He’s evil and good, and I don’t judge him. He’s tainted by demon’s blood, and I still accept him. I still love him. I asked him to trust me, and I haven’t shown I fully trust him to not judge me for my flaws.
Slowly, I reveal, “My illusions were—are—something I can’t control. They scared the crap out of my parents and me. Things I thought I was seeing used to be too real. Like they are now. And because we didn’t have a reason for them, they hired a psychiatrist. Dr. Phisher. She was nice. These hallucinations would pop up anywhere, Nate. It was embarrassing. The fact that no one believed me and thought I needed help made it worse. I’d be taken from this world and placed into a different reality no one else could see. People . . . did things to me and other people no one else felt. It was real. I’d swear it was real. But then I’d blink, or someone would shake me, and I’d snap back. It was scary . . . it’s still scary.” I bring his hand to my neck and lean into it. “I didn’t mean to put Roehl before you. To reveal my secrets to him before you. To betray you. I had no control over it. He showed me things. He does things to me. I want him in a terrible way, Nate. And I’m sorry for it.” Recalling what Roehl had mentioned about me being the one to kill him, I continue, asking, “Am I the one who has to kill Roehl?”
Staggered, Nathan’s eyes bulge, but they quickly sober. “Where did you get that from?”
I look away, slighted by his questioning answer. “Answer the question.”
“You are.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before?”
He chews on his bottom lip before saying, “I didn’t want to.”
“What else is there?” I snap angrily. “And why are you holding things back from me?”
“No, Sparks.”
“Give me something. I deserve to kno
w.” I throw my hand to my chest. “Me being the one who has to kill Roehl isn’t important? When did you plan on telling me?”
He shrugs. “Later.”
“Nate, stop!” I push him, only moving myself. He couldn’t get more annoying with his half-ass answers. “That’s okay, Nate. Just. Just leave. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I stand, but he pulls me back down. “No, wait. I’m an asshole. I’m sorry.” He takes a long pause and an even breath. “Thanks for telling me. I know how hard it is for you to bring it up and that it makes you uncomfortable.”
“Nathan, you have to understand where I’m coming from here. I was dropped into this world of yours.”
“Dropped?” he grumps, offended.
“Not dropped, I chose it. I chose to be a part of this life with you. But Nate, I have so many changes and things going on I’m still trying to understand. With these abilities I’m still learning how to use, your family I’m still getting used to being around, I’m finishing school and to top it off, let’s add my parents to the mix, all while I’m trying to keep up an image as if nothing has changed. And please don’t misunderstand me by thinking I’m saying my burdens are worse than yours are, because I’m not. But on top of all this, we add Roehl. And honestly, with him, all the other disruptions I can toss aside because he takes the cake. I get that sometimes I can be the root of your frustration, and I’m sorry. I’m only asking, Nathan, that you give me a little bit. I can tell you’re hiding things. Talk to me. Let me know what’s going on. Make this easier for the both of us.”
He looks away from and drags his hands down his pant legs. “You’re right. I have been keeping things from you, but only because there are things I don’t want him to know.”
I scoff. “What does he have to do with me?”
“You’ll tell him if he wants you to.”
Oh . . . right. Like last night.
“You’ve chosen him, Sparks. All you have to do is go to him. You’ve done so once. We have to assume you’ll do it again.” His brows draw inward, and he squeezes his eyes shut. Drawing in a long breath, he wipes his hand down his face, removing his distressed resolve. Then, he continues, “I don’t want you to, and I won’t willingly let that happen. But, if there are things he wants to find out from you, you will be willing to let him know. Just like with me. I told you this would happen, and you promised you’d choose me, Sparks. Don’t break your promise.”
Brazen: A Dark Paranormal Romance (The Sephlem Trials Book 2) Page 28
