“Yes, that’s the story of my life. People try to come after you and you think ‘what the fuck did I do to all these fucks to make them want me dead.’” He shrugs. “Another day in the life of a Burdened Sephlem. But one thing I learned today is that you know how to take care of yourself. And you’re not letting any threat slide.”
“I can’t. I got your heart to look out for.” It’s supposed to be humorous, but I lost my laugh again.
I follow him out of the great room, and we bump into Olar and Lana.
“You two want to go out for breakfast? Get out of here for a while?” Olar asks, matching Nathan’s stressed expression.
“Yes, give us an hour,” Nathan answers. “We’ll meet you outside.”
“Us too.”
We head upstairs, and my brain’s racing through a million thoughts at a time.
“Now do you agree with us moving out?” Nathan asks.
“If it hadn’t been for you mating with me, would you want to move?”
“Honestly, probably not. But I only came around to check on them and when they needed me.”
I nod, understanding. “I guess I agree with us not staying here. It would be nice to have just one day without stress and someone not trying to kill me or steal me away.”
“Me too.”
Nathan’s bedroom door is open. We walk in, seeing Little Nathan laying on the bed, asleep. “Little Nathan,” Nate calls, waking him up.
Little Nathan jumps up. His wide eyes quickly find us and then sober as he lays back down. “Let me sleep in here for a minute?”
“What’s wrong with your room?”
“Come on, Nate. Before I ask you to lay and hold me.”
He’s hurting too. We need to get out of this house. I can’t take the misery. “You can stay in here, Little Nathan. We’re leaving anyway.”
“Thank you, Tracey,” he says, throwing the covers over his head.
Heading to the closet, I consider Little Nathan’s mindset. He’s been going through a lot lately, and him being in here is probably a call for Nathan’s attention. They were close before me, and I want to make sure that closeness remains. Nate, maybe you should talk to your brother.
He gestures over his shoulder. He said he was lying down to go to sleep.
Yeah, but talk to him. He looks up to you and such. We’re all hurting and need someone. Plus, it’s rare he comes in here and hogs your room like this. Something might be bothering him.
Nathan looks from me to his bed. I walk into the closet as Nathan falls on his bed beside his brother. “Bro?” Nathan shakes him.
“Yeah?” Little Nathan utters from under the covers.
“You good?”
“Now you care. . .?”
See! I knew they needed to talk. I grab my clothes and go to the bathroom, able to overhear their conversation while I clean up.
“I deserve that,” Nathan follows.
“You deserve more than that. I’m your brother, Nate. I swear I’m not your enemy. What happened with Tracey and that girl had nothing to do with me, and you still walk around here like I’m to blame. Nothing has happened to Tracey or to you brought on by me. Treat me like I’m your brother. Like you trust me again.”
“I do. Take everything that’s been going on with Taylor, your father, and that battle we wrapped up in Norway. You don’t realize how much shit I got on my plate. Every minute I turn a corner, it’s some new shit, and I’ve been keeping an eye on Sparks because of Roehl. Nobody is safe, bro. I’m not taking a chance with anyone when it comes to my heart. You know that.”
“Nate,” Little Nathan drags. “I am not your enemy. And you’re not the only one with things going on.”
“Oh,” Nathan snorts. “So, you’re on maybe . . . Three-Hundred twenty-three people’s hit list? Nah, your mate just got out of a battle where she almost left you? Ah, no, not that either? I know! You just lost one of your best friends, one of the last few people you knew who had your back? Or better yet, you just found out your mated sister wants to kill your mate, and your brother probably knew about that shit?”
“No, none of that,” Little Nathan interjects. “And losing Scott hurts me too. But like all of that other shit is important to you, the things I have going on is important to me.”
Nathan scoff. “What do you have going on? School’s over. It’s the summer now. Neither Roseland nor I am breathing down your neck to get shit done around here. Mom’s stopped bitching at you about that shit you were into. We took care of that other situation you had with that neurotic prick who challenged you. What’s left, you advancing? That’s what you do when you get older. You’ll do it twice more before you’re my age.”
Little Nathan grumbles. “I gotta go through this again?”
“Yep.” There’s a long pause. “Look, bro, I’m wrong. Your shit is just as important as mine. You’re right, you’re not my enemy, I know that. You’re probably worried I’m going to leave you here when Sparks and I move. Figuring, because I don’t trust you, I won’t let you move with me.”
“I’m not using you to get out of here. I’ve been holding you down since I was born. You can trust me, I swear. You and Tracey.” He laughs once. “But nah, you won’t be leaving me here.”
Nathan chuckles. “I’ll make sure you have a spot at our new place. As long as you don’t bring any more of those crazy bitches home.”
“Nah, bro. I don’t know what was up with that girl.”
“Uh-huh,” Nathan responds dryly. “Chill in here as long as you want, we’re leaving. Keep the door closed, and they won’t bother you.”
I pull the closet door closed, tossing my clothes into the laundry basket.
Nathan pulls a shirt over his head, dampening it from his hair still being wet.
“You know, I’m always so worried about me I don’t put much thought into the way you feel about the things that go on.”
He looks me over. “You’re cute.”
“Back at you.”
He grins. “You don’t have to worry about me, Sparks. I’ll be fine.”
“I do have to worry about you. Especially when you have that silent, detached disposition.”
“You think you know me, huh?”
I waggle my brows. “I know a little.”
“You pay close attention.”
“No, I care.”
“Thank you for that.”
I nod. “Over time . . . it will get easier?” I’m ready for that time, and I wish I’d met easier two days ago.
“It will.” He grabs me to him.
I bury my face in his chest, letting his scent do its job. “What do we tell people?” “Let me think on that for a bit.” He kisses the top of my head. “Let’s leave.”
restricted opening
Wanting to be as far away from the house as possible, we drive two hours out to a small, family-owned restaurant. Sally’s Pancake House. They have the name plastered on every page of the menu. The edges are catered with gold loops and swirls carved into it that make out the initials SPH. I look over the dingy, newspaper like inserts slid into the plastic, juggling pancakes or waffles.
Olar is in major swoon mode. “She was being escorted by Kegic past my cell. She wasn’t or wouldn’t look in my direction, but I couldn’t resist staring at her, silently calling her to me. I never felt anything like it. I knew before I saw her.” He beams at Lana as he tells Nathan and me how they met. I’ve never seen Olar’s eyes swirl so brightly. Witnessing the mating come over someone is quite remarkable. Their eyes change, looking upon their mate as treasure instead of just another person. Their skin is a constant blush, and the smile takes hours to fade when their mate speaks to them. I wish this jubilance on everyone, to find true love and permanency in one person and they mate for life like eagles.
We give our order to the waiter who drops off our drinks, and he informs our food will be out quickly.
Lana places her hand to Olar’s cheek and takes in his sunny eyes. “I noticed you,” sh
e starts. “I felt as you did, but knew there was no use. I knew there was no out, and we would never be together. We would have never been able to enjoy and love each other. They would have never allowed it.” She looks at Nathan and me, smiling. “But you have an amazing family who’s risked their lives to save yours. And you risked your life to save me. Making us, and all that could be a reality.”
Olar takes her hand and finds a way to bind all ten of his fingers with her five. “I didn’t lose my heart until she acknowledged me, staring at me hanging there. I felt no pain, I heard nothing, I knew nothing but what I saw, and I only saw her. From the moment I looked at her, I knew everything about her. Her name and her needs. She wanted out of there more than I did, and I was going to make sure she got out. I made sure we got out, like I promised I would.”
Lana’s gaze breaks away from Olar, falling to the table. “It won’t be an easy journey.”
“True. But I’ll jeopardize everything for you,” Olar promises. Finding his mate has made him soft.
“Yeah,” Nathan drones. “Just don’t get caught again while you’re out there jeopardizing.”
“Nate, we’re beyond grateful for what you did. Anything you need, it’s yours.”
A waitress brings our food and lets us know she’ll return later. The restaurant is mostly empty, and the staff seems to spend most of their time in the back.
So far, I’ve learned Lana’s a full-blooded Sephlem, and she doesn’t know the exact amount of time she’s been locked away. She knows nothing about any of the recent tunes, but brings up NSYNC, Nirvana, and Tupac, which puts her somewhere in the nineties if my music history serves me correctly. But that’s it, she knows nothing else, or she doesn’t want to share anything else.
We eat quickly, but leave our plates half-empty.
None of us are fond of the idea to return to the house after breakfast, so we opt for a park not far from the restaurant.
We pile into Nathan’s car, and we’re pretty quiet. The clouds are blowing from the sky, preparing today for the sun and a perfect blue sky. It’s a beautiful day.
“Hope you two don’t mind that I bring this up,” Lana says over the music I’ve subconsciously cranked up to the max. I turn it down. “I’d also be skeptical of Roseland.”
“Why would you say that?” Nathan interjects.
There’s a pause before she answers. “How can he not know? The moment I mated with Olar, everything about him came to me. His past, his emotions, his intentions, his thoughts. I believe they would have gone through the same thing.”
“I’ve thought about that too,” Olar follows.
“I didn’t experience any of that when I mated with Nathan,” I mention.
“That’s only because you’re human, Sparks. It’s different,” Nathan says, checking his blind spot before shifting lanes. He takes a left.
“What do you think about that? Could he be playing sides?”
“Yes,” he answers short, not going into details on why.
Ann’s been a part of our family for a long time. And in that time, she’s been able to fool her husband into thinking she was loyal. Nathan mentioned that when we mated, he was immediately in my head. With Sephlem to Sephlem mating, how are they able to hide anything? Unless they are prepared to mate, prepared to hide something. Ann would’ve needed to know their mating would happen if that’s the case. But how?
I am so over this. Every day it’s something new; some new danger, some new person trying to harm us, some new event or problem we need to help or fix, someone else dying. All I want is just one day without drama. I can’t even let the loss of my friend settle before something else is kicking off. My parents will be leaving soon, and I’m not ready for Mom to go yet. I am just freaking graduating high school, and the crap I said in my speech about life changing before our eyes couldn’t feel more real. Everything is spiraling, and my time’s growing shorter and shorter. Twenty-four hours of peace is just too much to ask.
The trees, light posts, street signs, and buildings fly by, mixing the colors of the world. The blur is better.
Nathan’s fingertips graze along the back of my neck, and he massages the pressure points on my head. It’s okay, Sparks, he convinces, as his touch sips away the sadness. But when I look him over, his brows are knit, jaw is clenched so tightly his jaw bone pops out, and eyes are a solid black.
How can you say that when you’re not in the best of moods either?
I don’t know, Sparks. It’s hard for me.
I can tell. It seems like I’m getting a lot of this non-caring Nathan more often.
I’m not that way with you.
You are, Nathan. You don’t see it, I argue.
Finding an available parking spot at the park, he pulls in, and we get out the car and step into the comfortable afternoon air. The sun warms my arms and the humidity in the air is low. I haven’t had a full day outside in a while, and I’d prefer to stay out here until the sun goes down.
Lana guffaws, breaking into a sprint. Olar chases after her, calling her name and jokingly demanding she stop. They’re newly happy without worry. I turn away to avert my envy.
Nathan takes my hand, asking, “You want to walk?”
“Yeah.”
“Before, I was a dick. I probably was meaner than I intended to be, maybe rude at times. I’m sorry, Sparks. It was because of Roehl, and I needed to keep you at a distance to keep him at a distance. It’s over now. But you still have to cut me some slack. We’ve gone through a lot together and maybe a bit of time to cope with all of it without the mating’s influence would do us both some good.”
I wince. “Does this mean you don’t want me to touch you, or you don’t want me to be around you?”
Nathan lifts my hand and kisses my thumb. “This means I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t enough, and I want you to be able to finally find yourself with me at your side without any type of additional influence.”
He lowers our hands, and I leave mine to hang at my sides while he stuffs his in his pockets. I forgive him, and I too, would like to rediscover myself as I mature in the bond and in life.
Nathan sticks to himself as we stroll the paved trail around the park. Everyone’s out today; walking their dogs, riding their bikes, and just walking the trail, as we are. A playground is packed with kids; a water park next to the playground invites them to run back and forth from it to the jungle gym in their soaking wet swimsuits. Their laughs and shouts are loud and exciting as they race around the parks.
“Hey, Nate!” A guy yells a few feet in front of us.
Nathan brightens his expression. “Wassup, Kody.”
Kody’s short dreadlocks flap around his head as he runs over. He and Nathan bump fists. “Where you been, man?”
“Around. What’s going on?”
Kody points at me with his skinny elbow. “Same old. She your girl?”
“Yeah. Sparks Kody, Kody Tracey.”
“Sup, Tracey?”
I look to Nathan, making sure my addressing Kody is okay. He nods, taking my hand. “Hi, Kody.”
Kody nods, hitching an analyzing brow. “Why you out this way?” Him asking makes me believe it’s not the norm for him to see Nathan on this side of town.
“My cousin’s lady wanted to hang out at a park. It was in the area.”
“Nice. We’re having a BBQ.” He points over his shoulder at a large group of people surrounded around a picnic table. “You’re more than welcomed to join.”
Nathan waves back to a few people sitting at the table. “We’ll probably drop by later.”
Kody stuffs a cigarette between his lips and lights it. “Alright, Nate. Bye, Tracey.” He winks, crooning my name.
I slightly jerk of my head back, disgusted by the flirty way he says my name.
“Pull back, Kody. She isn’t one of those,” Nathan tells him.
“Oh, my bad. You know I mean no harm.” Kody throws up his hands. “Stop by later if you can.”
We
leave Kody to his cigarette and we run into Olar and Lana. “Who was that?” Olar asks.
“One of the guys I hang out with sometimes.”
I interject before we move too far away from the subject. “What’s a those that I’m not one of.”
“A slut,” Nathan states.
Wow! “Really?”
Lana laughs. But I find nothing funny about it.
Nathan shrugs. “You asked.”
I scratch the side of my nose. “And that’s what you associated yourself with?”
He grumbles. “Don’t go there, Sparks.”
I roll my eyes. “Excuse us. We’ll catch up with you two later. Nathan and I have more to discuss about those.”
Olar laughs as I’m pulling Nathan away. He calls, “Looks like you just got yourself in trouble, Nate.”
There’s an exaggerated sigh. “Really, Sparks, don’t go there.” He rolls his eyes, and I snatch my hand away from him.
Shit! I grab at my throbbing chest. “Ugh!” How can I take out my anger on him if it will just hurt me in return?
“It wouldn’t hurt you if you’d stop snatching away from me.”
“I wouldn’t have to snatch away from you if you’d stop being a douche.”
He grabs my arm, and the ache seeps away. “I’m not being a douche.”
“Whatever. Can you let go of my arm? Because I clearly can’t release myself from your grasp.”
“Will you stop being like this? Do you need a break from me or something?” he asks with empty words and an impassive expression.
I waggle my arm, hinting he still hasn’t let it go. “Do you feel anything? Do you hold any emotions?”
“I do.”
“Are you going to let go of my arm?”
“Are you going to change your attitude?”
“No!”
“Stop it, Sparks. You’re going to make me change it for you,” he threatens.
I glare at him through narrow eyes. “You better not.” I jerk my arm away, and it hurts so badly I buckle over. “Aaah,” I grunt, gritting my teeth. “I hate this damn bond.”
Brazen: A Dark Paranormal Romance (The Sephlem Trials Book 2) Page 39
