Nathan gently pulls me up and takes the pain away. “Come on, Sparks, before someone thinks I’m out here hurting you.”
“What is your problem, Nathan? You don’t care?” I smack his hands away. “Why are you such an asshole right now?”
“I have emotions, and you see them often. You know how I feel, and only you know.” He throws his arms out at his sides. “I tell you everything, but you want to ask questions about things that don’t matter.”
“And you don’t care that they matter to me?”
“I’m not saying that. What happened in the past with other girls shouldn’t matter. If I hung around them, what we did, who they were. It’s a pointless conversation. We are my right now. That’s all that matters, everything else is pointless.”
His attitude with this subject is pointless. Him treating me like an enemy is pointless. This conversation is pointless.
“It’s not,” he retorts matter-of-factly.
Always in my head! “Hey, I’ve got an idea,” I state mockingly. “How about you let me in your head, so I won’t have to ask you anything?”
“I already told you, you—”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I throw up my hand and drop it. “I don’t want to be in your head. Well, how about you let me decide if I want to be in it or not?”
“All you will see is you.”
“Or that’s all you want me to see.” I probably couldn’t trust what he shows me anyway. Knowing they can block things out and show or think only what they want to. I wish I could block him out.
I him look my direction from my periphery. I won’t face him. “You don’t trust me?” he asks in a gravelly voice.
“Nope. Stop talking to me.” If he’d just answer my questions instead of giving me shit about them, he’d hear less of this. I get that he held things back from me before because of Roehl, but now him doing it is . . . well, pointless. So, now, he’s just being a douche and clearly doesn’t care about the extent of how I feel about that.
“I’ll give you some space, Sparks. You need some time to sort through things. It seems like the bond is getting to you.”
It seems like the bond is getting to you, I mock his voice in my head. Blah, blah, bond. “Yeah, well, maybe you should.” I snatch my hand out of his reach when he reaches for me.
“God, Sparks!” he bursts. “Why do you have to go there and do this right now? Today, of all fucking days. Can’t you just look at this shit from my perspective for just once? Open your beautiful brown eyes and look at how all of this shit is affecting me. You make shit so much harder on me sometimes. I don’t have enough people attacking me? Fucking family and enemies. Nah, I gotta have my mate coming at me too, making things harder than what they are. You can’t just accept that I don’t want to talk about these slu—er, chicks that don’t matter? Or some bullshit about my past that no longer fucking matters? Or better yet, you can’t just shut up and let me sort through this shit? Dammit, Sparky! Give me a fucking break.”
Oh my wow. . . I stare, shocked—rendered speechless. He just blew up, outside, with people around.
Shoving his hair back, he grumbles. “My bad,” he utters calmer, scratching the end of his left eyebrow. “I mean. . .” He takes my hand and encourages me to walk with a gentle tug. “I know you don’t mean you need some time from me,” he says peacefully as if he didn’t just go super hulk on me two seconds ago.
“You said it, Nathan.” I match his serenity. Let’s keep the peace. We do not want that to happen again.
We divert from the trail to a picnic table in the grass, shaded by a tall oak tree. “I did,” he says, “because of the way you’re acting. To answer your question, no, I didn’t associate myself with sluts. But that’s how guys perceive girls who give it up for a cute face and a nice car. Many of the girls we came across did that. Maybe because they thought they would get something out of it, or that’s just who they were.” He shrugs. “They may have just liked sex. Who knows?”
I turn up my nose. “And you were there happily to give it to them.”
“And this is why I avoid these conversations. You’re judging me.” He scrapes his thumbnail over his bearded chin. “No, I wasn’t there happily to give it to any woman who ran into me. But I didn’t care. I like women, and I’m not one of those guys who treasured saving himself for his mate. I bagged who I wanted, when, and where I wanted. And please don’t take that the wrong way. What was is what was, and no longer is. I’m with you now.” He moves to sit behind me on the table. “And if it makes you feel better, know you’re the only woman I want to be with, the only one I want around me, the only and last woman I wanna fuck for the rest of my life, and the only person I want to have a past and future with. Do you understand that?”
I blush. “I do understand that, and I’m not worried about other girls.” He rubs my thighs down to my knees. I shake my head, hating I enjoy it so much. “All I’m saying is—” His nose brushes my cheek as he moves my hair aside. Warm lips press against the sensitive skin behind my ear. My words evade me. “Umm.” I clear my throat. What was I saying?
“I love you, Sparky. Sorry I blew up and excuse my emotionless expressions. You know how I am. In my head or not, you know how I feel. Stop getting upset about the things that aren’t going to change us. I’m more than happy you chose me, and yes, I was doubtful. You left with him more than once, made promises to him that match those you swore to me. Deep down, you must understand my doubt.” He moves all my hair over my left shoulder, leaving the nape of my neck exposed. I melt as he kisses it. “You okay with this?” he asks, leaning to our left to view me.
Orange-brown eyes stare me down as he awaits my okay. Unable to fight my smile, I nod. “Yes, Nathan.” He pecks my lips. “Now, you explain that episode you just had.”
“Let’s write it off to me expressing a little emotion and you being upset, snatching away from me and shit.”
“I made you upset. But maybe if you could’ve just answered me when I asked, I wouldn’t have needed to get upset.”
“I’m sorry,” he wheedles seductively, dripping kisses down my neck and shoulder.
“No, Nate,” I sing jokingly. “Don’t try to be nice now, Mr. Hyde.”
“Come on, Sparky, stop,” he sings. “You want to talk to me, or do you want me to kiss you outside in front of all these people until you forget what you wanted to talk about?”
I smile to myself, letting my anger go. “Don’t do that. I want to talk to you, not forgetting what you have said to me.”
“I’m a dick, Sparks. We know that. But it’s rarely on purpose. For the hundredth time, this is all still new to me. I’m working through this relationship shit and trying to overcome the bond too. When I’m acting the way you want me to, I get those actions from your feelings and your wants. It’s not the usual way I’d respond, but I’m learning. I’m realizing these things are what you want; visual compassion, intimacy, and affection. The verbal expressions of I love you and the feeling of me kissing your soul. Today is a hard day for the both of us, so excuse me for letting my true colors show,” he states apologetically. “And,” he carries, “since I’m being honest . . .”
I turn a quarter of the way to him. “Continue.”
“I snuck into your house and threw out that necklace your parents bought you.”
“Nathan! You cannot be serious!”
He shrugs, not caring. “But . . . I replaced it.” He lifts slightly and grabs two boxes from his back pocket. “It’s not the same. There’s no replacement for pearl, and I’d put you in nothing fake. Here.” He hands me the bigger box.
I open it and gaze down at a necklace that looks like the one my parents had got me, but without the pearls. In their places are diamonds. “You really couldn’t stand me with pearls around my neck, huh?”
“No. I was intimidated,” he chaffs.
“You’re a dick for throwing out my necklace. But this is beautiful.” I run my thumb over one of the linked leaves. “These are s
ome pretty big diamonds.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t wear that everywhere.”
“Thank you for at least replacing it. What’s in the other box?”
He crooks a smile. “Dang, you’re not going to wait for me to give it to you first?”
“I am, but I’m curious.”
“I told you curiosity killed the cat.”
I crinkle my nose. “I can tell you a few other things that killed that cat too.”
Nathan hands me the smaller black box. “It’s diamond earrings and a matching bracelet with much smaller jewels.”
“When do you have time to do this stuff?” I flip the top. The brilliance of the diamonds causes them to sparkle in the sun.
“I find time. You like them?”
“I love them, Nathan. Thank you.” I kiss his cheek. “You do things like this that make me love you and all your glorious, fake boyfriend assholeness.” The earrings and bracelet are breathtaking. “I don’t know where you come up with this stuff. But these are gorgeous.”
“Assholeness isn’t a word, Sparks. I’m glad you like them. Anything else bothering you?”
“Yes. Ann and Roseland.” I take the bracelet from the box and hold out my wrist so he can put it on me. I’m sure I’ll wear this forever. It fits around my wrist loose enough to move, but not slide down to my hand.
“I’m still thinking about it. I don’t know yet.”
“Do you want to talk about it with him?” I hand him the box after taking out the earrings.
“No,” he’s short, stuffing the empty box back in his pocket.
I stare at the necklace a while longer before closing the box and handing it back to him. “Do you care?”
“Yeah. But only because you’ll be sleeping under the same roof with them until I find us some place to move.”
Putting in the earrings, I ask, “You really think us moving will change things?”
“Not change the way things are, but it will make our lives a little less stressful. Us not being directly in the middle of the drama caused by my family. We’ll be happier, for sure.”
“What about drama not caused by your family?”
“I can handle that, drop them on a dime. It’s hard for me to do that for these people I’ve been around my entire life.”
I give him a mirthless laugh. “You wouldn’t kill your family, Nathan.”
“Okay, Sparks,” he jeers. “So, Lana’s cool.”
“She is. Olar’s different around her.”
“He is. Maybe he’ll stop being so ruthless now that he has someone and something to live for.”
“Do you think they’ll come back after us? That man who took Olar.”
“Yes. I know he will.”
“Then what?”
“Same shit.”
“Deal?”
“Yep. Are you okay with this life?”
I breathe. “I wish I could just be happy with you, not fighting, no death, no pain. Just your basic everyday relationship, living happily ever after.”
“Doesn’t happily ever after mean our story ends? Why wait when we can give each other happiness now.” He wraps his arms around me and adds, “We’ll move out to, like, the North Pole and no one will come after us there.”
I lean my head back and look up at the leaves brightened by the sun shining down. “I don’t want to move to the North Pole. I just want my friend back.”
“Hey, Nathan!”
We look to our left where two females are jogging for us.
“They better not be one of those,” I warn him.
Nathan chuckles. “They aren’t. That’s our cousin, and the other girl must be her friend.” Our cousin and her friend approach with smiles and eager eyes. “Hey, Carmen.”
“Hey. I saw Olar. He said you were out here with your lady. Hi, Tracey. I’m Carmen. Thank you for choosing my cousin.” She smiles with beautiful honey-colored eyes the same color as her bouncy curls. It compliments her caramel skin tone.
“Hi, Carmen, nice to meet you.” Her confident presence is refreshing. Peace ensues her, and she feels trusting. She has a cat-like facial shape and round eyes, but her smile is huge, minimizing the impact of her other features.
“This is my friend Talisa. Talisa, these are my cousins Nathan and Tracey.”
“Hey. How’s it going?” she sings, waving. A little less conservative than Carmen’s jeans and t-shirt, Talisa wears a bikini top and shorts, showing off a Tree of Life image tatted on her warm toned skin.
“Hey.” I greet and Nathan gives her a quick wave.
Carman sits beside us. “What you all doing today? Courtney, Carteal, and I are coming over there day after tomorrow.”
“I didn’t know that. What for? The summer?” Nathan asks.
“Yeah, what else?” She snorts. “We have to get us a room before the house fills up.”
Talisa smacks her lips. “I didn’t know you were going away for the summer.”
Shrugging, Carmen says, “I wouldn’t say going away. They only stay about an hour out. It’s a summer thing for our family to pile up at their house. We’ve been doing it since forever.”
“Why?” Talisa snaps, throwing her hands on her hips.
“Their house is the biggest. Why does it matter?” Yeah, she’s definitely a Newcomb, probably grown on the same branch as Nathan.
“Because I thought we had plans.” With their intense exchanges we should, maybe, leave them alone.
Carmen stretches her neck back. “Nope. My brothers and I have the same plan every summer.”
“That’s not cool, Carmen,” Talisa jabs a point at Carmen. “You know we have things to do.”
Carmen sighs, looking back at Talisa. “If you have an issue, Talisa, just call me when you’re over it.”
“Whatever.” Talisa flips her hair as she turns and stomps away.
Carmen looks to her left and right, and a thought squints her eyes, then distress knits her brows. She mutters, “Um, you think I can hitch a ride to my house. I forgot she was my ride.”
Nathan chuckles. “If you weren’t such a bitch to your friend, you would have a ride.”
“Come on, Nate.” She nudges his arm. “You know I don’t have friends. Just family.”
“Yeah, I think we have enough room.”
“Thank you in advance. Why you out so far?”
“Had to get away from where we were,” I answer her, maybe a little too comfortable around Carmen.
“It’s okay, Sparks. She’s cool.” Nathan rubs my shoulders. “We’ll have to catch you up on all the things that have been going on when you come back around,” he tells her.
“Damn, that bad, huh?”
“A little. Where’s Court and Cart?” Nathan asks. I assume they are her brothers.
“They didn’t tag along. Talisa likes Carteal, and he tries to avoid her. He’s the only reason she’s trying to be my friend. I’m no fool. And actually, I knew what plans she was talking about, which was to stay at my house for the summer. She’s one of those, and Carteal isn’t going for that.”
Nathan laughs. “She should’ve gone after Courtney. She’d have better luck with him.”
“She would.” Carmen leans forward, shaking her head. “My poor brother goes after anything with legs.”
They chat and I watch the park that’s so alive and free with groups of people laughing and children playing, the wind gently shuffling the leaves of trees, and in this brief minute of relief, I let the freedom wrap me in its peace. I take in a deep breath and slowly release it.
“Tracey.” Carmen’s voice is light, matching her presence. “You and Nathan been together for a while? Courtney was telling me about it, but I’m not into third party details.”
“Since March. What’s that, some months? One day it feels like a week, the next it seems like years.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I can’t wait to mate, and he can take me away from this hell we call life.” She lets her head fall back, stretching her neck again.
The sun sprinkles past the leaves of the tree and sparkles in her eyes when she looks over at me. “That sounded harsh, didn’t it?”
I chuckle. “No, that’s cool. I get it. Believe me.”
“Good.” She hits Nathan’s arm. “Where’s Scooter? I hear he’s mated to some girl at his school. I cannot wait to meet this chick!”
Nathan adjusts uneasily behind me. “That’s a part of the things we’ll talk about later.”
“No. I don’t like the way that sounds. Tell me now,” she orders.
He hasn’t said it, not even after it happened. I rub his arms that are tightening around me. “You don’t have to, Nate. It’s okay.” I wish I could help take away the discomfort, but I haven’t found peace in it yet.
“No, Nathan,” Carmen groans. “Don’t say that.” The light leaves her eyes and her chin trembles. “Can somebody tell me what happened?”
He clears his throat to say, “I can’t yet. But Olar will tell you.”
I move to sit on my knees behind Nathan, wrapping my arms around his neck. It kills me to feel him hurting like this.
Carmen jumps from the table. “I’ll be back. I’m going to find Olar.” She avoids looking in our direction when she runs off behind us, but I saw why.
I kiss the side of Nathan’s neck. “You okay?”
“Yeah, Sparks. Thanks.”
Kissing him again, I say, “Let’s walk? Well, you walk, and I’ll make myself comfy on your back.”
“Really?” A piggyback ride?” he asks, as if the idea of it is unbelievable.
I laugh. “Yes, Nate. Come on.” I nudge his side with my knee.
He twists around, brow hitched.
I laugh longer than I intend to. I don’t want a piggyback ride, just want to make you feel better.
“Thank you.” He leans in, giving me another feather-soft peck. Snatching me off the table, I stumble, tripping over my feet. He swoops me up in his arms and strolls.
I wrap my arm around his shoulder. “So, no piggyback ride, but you can carry me.”
“Yep. I can’t see you behind me.”
“It would be a kind of cool ability if you could,” I joke.
We’re spotted by two older women who “aww” as we pass them.
Brazen: A Dark Paranormal Romance (The Sephlem Trials Book 2) Page 40
