Playing Irish

by Brooke Harris

  The secretary jumped up from behind her desk, almost spilling some of her tea on her pretty but impractically short skirt. ‘That was quick,’ she said.

  ‘Really? It seemed like ages.’ Eva sighed.

  ‘First time always does.’

  ‘It was a bit weird.’ Eva complained. ‘He didn’t turn around the whole time.’

  ‘Did you not know?’

  ‘Know what?’

  ‘When I said he doesn’t see people, I meant he really doesn’t see people. No one here actually knows what he looks like. I think it makes it easier. Never have to worry about whether or not I fancy him. Just get in, do it, and get out. It’s just all part of the job.’

  Eva didn’t know if the secretary was talking about something as simple as getting the filing sorted out or something more sordid like giving Mr. Doe a sneaky blow job under the table. And she wondered if her confusion was written all over her face.

  ‘I’m Shelly, by the way,’ the secretary said, extending her hand.

  ‘Eva.’

  Eva shook Shelly’s hand, hoping that she had washed it since returning from Mr. Doe’s office. She felt a little grossed out thinking about where that hand might have been moments earlier.

  ‘I know,’ Shelly said. ‘We met yesterday in the boardroom.’

  ‘We did?’ Eva’s eyes narrowed.

  ‘Yeah.’ Shelly shrugged. ‘I’m the weirdo who randomly told you about my grandmother.’

  Eva giggled. ‘Oh. That was you?’

  ‘Sorry about that, by the way. Didn’t mean to get you into Meghan’s bad books.’

  ‘Think I was already there,’ Eva sighed.

  ‘We’ve all been there, don’t worry. Meghan doesn’t like anyone who poses a threat.’

  Eva pulled a face. She couldn’t see how she was possibly a threat to the most powerful women in the company.

  ‘Word of advice?’ Shelly said, asking before shoving her opinion in Eva’s face.

  Eva smiled; she needed a lot more than just a word.

  ‘Watch your back with Meghan.’ A seriousness that contradicted everything else about her resonated in Shelly’s face. ‘I mean it, Eva. She’s more than just the office bitch to him.’

  ‘Does he love her?’ Eva thought she finally understood something.

  Shelly scrunched her nose. ‘It’s not that sort of relationship. At least, I’m almost sure it’s not. Mr. Doe has more secrets than turning on the lights would reveal.’

  Eva’s head was bobbing without her even realising it. ‘And Meghan knows them,’ she added, disappointed not to have guessed sooner. It seemed so obvious now.

  ‘Exactly,’ Shelly said. ‘And it makes her goddamn untouchable, and she knows that, too.’

  ‘So, what should I do?’ Eva asked.

  ‘Whatever you want. Look, this isn’t for everyone, Eva. Even Mr. Doe knows that. He doesn’t ask every girl whoever walks through reception to come up here. He’s as selective as he is arrogant.’

  Eva’s blank expression hid the countless thoughts swirling around her head. So Shelly really was talking about more than just filing. Where the hell had Eva started working? ‘

  ‘Are you saying I should be flattered?’ Eva asked.

  ‘No,’ Shelly smiled. ‘I’m saying you have a choice here. Some newbies don’t last a week. Other girls gossip and daydream about being called up, but he doesn’t care that they exist. I’m saying, play if you want, walk away if you want. But don’t do a half-arsed job, whichever you choose.’

  Eva nodded, but she didn’t reply. It was a lot to take in. After a few moments of awkward silence, Shelly changed the subject.

  ‘So, New Jersey, then? Jesus, why would you want to leave to come to this miserable place? Did no one warn you about the rain here in Ireland?’ Shelly joked.

  Eva shrugged her shoulders and smiled, if only Shelly knew. She tilted her head toward the window where the sun was shiny high in the cloudless sky. ‘Seems okay to me.’

  ‘That’s the spirit, Jersey girl.’ Shelly smiled with her eyes. ‘I’m sure I’ll be seeing plenty of you up here now that Mr. Doe has discovered you.’

  Eva shuddered. She would happily have remained undiscovered. In fact, she wanted to slide under the radar and Mr. Doe was making that practically impossible now.

  ‘Don’t look so worried,’ Shelly said. ‘It’s good for your career. And anyway, he’ll get bored soon. You won’t be stuck coming up here forever.’

  ‘I…I didn’t do anything. I swear,’ Eva said, suddenly becoming very concerned that Shelly might feel threatened.

  ‘Sure. Yeah, sure.’ Shelly placed her finger over her lip and raised her eyebrows. ‘Me neither.’

  ‘Oh, I’m not judging who you make love with,’ Eva quickly explained.

  Shelly laughed loudly. It wasn’t the flirty giggle Eva had heard earlier. It was a real hearty chuckle. ‘Making love? Seriously? What is this, nineteen sixty-three?’

  Eva blushed. ‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to imply…’

  ‘You should see your face,’ Shelly grinned.

  Eva blushed harder, so much her cheeks stung.

  ‘Course I’m fucking him,’ Shelly said. ‘Who wouldn’t?’

  ‘I wouldn’t.’

  ‘For one-hundred-and-fifty grand a year, plus benefits, I’d fuck him twice daily before breakfast. Plus the man knows his way around the inside of knickers, if you know what I’m saying.’

  ‘One-hundred-and-fifty-thousand Euro?’ Eva’s eyes widened until they stung. ‘Wow.’

  ‘Exactly,’ Shelly nodded. ‘So, a little sex doesn’t hurt, I say.’

  Eva shook her head. She always thought sex was special. She’d watch her cheating father break her mother’s heart over and over, and she was afraid of the same happening to her. She could do without sex until she met the right man. The last thing that she wanted was a quickie up against the photocopier with some guy who’d slept with half of Dublin.

  ‘I thought you American girls were all liberated and whatnot,’ Shelly said.

  ‘Irritating stereotype. That’s all,’ Eva said.

  Shelly’s hand covered her mouth, and her eyes looked sad, suddenly. ‘Oh God, Eva I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…’

  ‘It’s okay,’ Eva said, sensing Shelly was genuinely upset. ‘It’s what you see in the media, isn’t it? New York City; Sex Goddesses in high heels who never say no. Fortunately, that’s just television and magazines and…’

  ‘Real life isn’t like that.’ Shelly finished Eva’s sentence for her.

  Eva smiled. Shelly seemed to talk first and think after. But surprisingly Eva liked it for it.

  ‘I really hope he doesn’t call me up here again. Not sure my nerves could handle it.’ Eva stretched out her hand and wobbled it for dramatic effect.

  Shelly giggled. ‘Maybe next time, he’ll just fancy tea and a chat.’

  Eva looked to the floor before raising her head to meet Shelly’s smile. ‘Maybe.’

  Eva knew Shelly was politely humouring her. It was sweet. But unnecessary. She’d grown up with an asshole alpha male dominating her family. She could handle a boss with a chip on his shoulder. She just needed to pull herself together.

  ‘Til next time,’ Eva said, smiling and coming across far more self-assured than she actually was. She pulled her cardigan across her chest and paced toward the elevator, catching Shelly’s return to her tea out of the corner of her eye. She didn’t ask about the parcel. Maybe Mr. Doe would just forget about it. Maybe?

  4

  Eva struggled to concentrate on work. Mr. Doe had a reputation. She’d heard all the tales on her first day. The girls in the office were only too happy to swap stories over morning coffee. They were like giggling schoolgirls discussing the size of his cock and how many times he made them come. An orgasm was the first step up the ladder. A double meant promotion. Hell, go for multiple orgasms and you could end up head of a department. Fake it and you were fired. It was an unwritten rule. If you got the
call to go upstairs, you knew what to expect. Meghan must have had her fair share of calls, Eva thought. Why, then, did Eva get a power cut and lecture? She couldn’t stop thinking about it. Was she that unattractive that even a nymphomaniac womaniser didn’t want to touch her? She wasn’t sure whether she was more insulted or relieved, or if any job was worth this kind of stress.

  Meghan buzzed around Eva like a bumblebee over a sunflower. Eva tried hard to ignore her. Meghan drummed her fingers on the edge of her desk and chewed her pencil until it resembled a slender toothpick. Her buzzing eventually stopped right in front of Eva’s desk, waiting forcefully for her attention.

  ‘How did it go?’ Meghan asked casually.

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘Just okay?’ Meghan raised an eyebrow.

  ‘Yes, just okay.’

  ‘Jeez, Eva, why do you do that? It’s a simple question. I’m just trying to be nice here,’ Meghan said, like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth.

  ‘There isn’t much to tell,’ Eva resisted the urge to roll her eyes. ‘He saw my email to you earlier about the ball...’

  Meghan interrupted mid-sentence. ‘Oh, about that, I meant to tell you; I sent it on to him.’

  Eva closed her eyes and sighed deeply. Meghan had stabbed her in the back; there was nothing new about that, she had made a habit of it from day one. But in this instance, Eva was delighted to hear of Meghan’s underhand tactics. It meant Mr. Doe wasn’t reading her emails after all. Her private life was, well, private.

  ‘Mr. Doe said I have to go to the ball,’ Eva explained. ‘I didn’t realise it’s compulsory.’

  ‘It’s not,’ Meghan pulled her head back giving herself a double chin. ‘It’s specifically invite only. Actually, I was surprised you were invited. Sorry, Eva. Don’t mean it like that. Just, you know... You don’t really do the social thing, do you?’

  Eva was going to the ball, the decision was out of her hands, but Meghan was trying, as always, to make things as uncomfortable as possible. Did she hope Eva would chicken out and get fired? Eva couldn’t understand why Meghan was so desperate to get rid of her. If it was a fight Meghan wanted Eva was prepared to give it to her. Starting with impressing Mr. Doe. Eva wouldn’t suck his cock for job security, but maybe if she worked hard, he’d appreciate her for her contribution. She’d start by making a great impression at the ball.

  Crap! The stupid parcel. She’d have to go back upstairs for it at some stage.

  It was hard to get rid of Meghan but when she finally got called away on an errand Eva quickly made the most of the privacy. She rearranged some large files on one side of her PC screen and draped her cardigan over her penholder on the other. Satisfied her screen was hidden, she Googled escorts. It was a long list, but Julian’s agency didn’t appear. She couldn’t remember how she found him last time, and she’d cleared her browser history - obviously. She really wished she’d kept his contact details. She tried putting other keywords in her search; like dating service and gigolo but it just led her to some very dodgy porn sites. She panicked and closed the links as fast as she could, freaking out that someone from the IT department would report her for unsavoury conduct.

  She was stressing out so much she almost missed the instant message at the bottom corner of her screen.

  Julian: Working hard, Evangeline?

  Eva’s face lit up.

  Eva135: I was just looking for you.

  Julian: I’m flattered.

  Eva wanted to explain that it wasn’t a compliment. She didn’t want to get in touch because she thought he seemed like a lovely person. He didn’t. In fact, he seemed like a complete asshole. She was purely after a business arrangement. Simple as that. But Eva didn’t know how to type that without appearing like a complete bitch. Maybe she should chat for a little while first.

  Eva135: How are you?

  Julian: I’m well, Evangeline - thank you. How are you?

  Eva tried desperately to come up with a response that wasn’t boring, but all she could manage was one word.

  Eva135: Good.

  Julian: Do you still insist you don’t require my services?

  At first, Eva was annoyed that Julian was so pushy, but she hoped she could use it to her advantage.

  Eva135: I said I didn’t need an escort. I never said I didn’t need your service.

  Eva crossed her legs, eyeing her screen excitedly. She was flirting. She hadn’t flirted in years. It was actually quite thrilling.

  Julian: But I am an escort, Evangeline. That’s what I am; it’s what I do.

  Eva135: I know. But I don’t want to be the girl who has to hire an escort. No offence.

  Julian: None taken. Would you rather we call it something else?

  Eva135: Like what? A date?

  Julian: Sure. If that works for you.

  Eva thought for a moment. A date sounded nice. She might drop it into conversation over the water cooler. A casual, ‘Oh, I have a date tonight.’ But that might lead to questions that Eva had no answers to. Like where they met or was he a friend of a friend. No; she wouldn’t say anything.

  Eva135: A paid date, isn’t that a little weird?

  Julian: Who said anything about money? That’s not what it’s about for me.

  Eva135: It’s not?

  Julian: Of course not. Why would you think that?

  Eva135: Because it’s what you hear about, you know? Sleazy guys who get paid a fortune to make ugly women feel good.

  Julian: Do you think that’s what this is?

  Eva135: I dunno…yeah, I suppose, maybe. A little bit.

  Julian: Evangeline, I can assure you that I am no sleaze. And you, my darling, are most certainly not ugly. You are beautiful.

  Eva’s eyes whizzed around the office frantically. He couldn’t see her, could he? She rolled her eyes and snorted feeling foolish. She had seen one too many spy films. She knew he was just being polite, but she still allowed herself to enjoy the warm tingle in her cheeks from the compliment. Being told she was beautiful, even if it was by a man who had never seen her, made her giddy.

  Eva135: Why do you do it then?

  Julian: Because I want to. Isn’t that the best reason to do anything?

  Eva135: But why do you want to? I don’t get it. Who wakes up one morning and decides they want to be an escort?

  Julian: I did. I enjoy a challenge, Evangeline. I always have. I challenged myself to be a millionaire before I was thirty. And now I challenge myself to help women free their inhibitions.

  Eva135: You’re thirty and a millionaire. That’s very impressive.

  Eva smiled at the irony. She’d gone the last three days without talking to anyone expect the postman and her dentist. And in the space of an hour today, she had chatted with two millionaires. She didn’t believe him, of course. She knew strangers talked themselves up on the internet all the time. Who wouldn’t? It must be nice to feel important for a while, even if it was a lie. She thought about describing herself as a tall, stunning, and managing director, but the idea of lying, even to a stranger, made her uncomfortable.

  Julian: I’m thirty-one now and a billionaire, but I don’t find it impressive. It was never about the money, just the challenge of making it. And just so you know, I’ve never set myself a challenge and not succeeded. Until now. You are a challenge, Evangeline. A very big challenge. I don’t know if your inhibitions can be freed.

  ‘Oh come on,’ Eva said, a little too loudly for the hushed office.

  The new guy at the desk behind her turned around to stare.

  ‘Silly website thingy; trying to sell me a Russian bride,’ Eva covered.

  He snorted and nodded. ‘Know the feeling; so long as they don’t try to sell you Viagra, you’ll be okay.’

  They both forced a laugh at the bad joke before falling silent again.

  ‘Best get back to this,’ Eva said, pointing at her desk and instantly wishing she hadn’t. Her screen saver hadn’t kicked in yet, and her conversation with Julian was blinking at her in bl
ack and white.

  The new guy nodded, smiled, and swung his chair back around to face his desk. Eva breathed a huge sigh of relief.

  Julian: You still there?

  Eva135: Yes.

  Julian: Where did you go?

  Eva135: I’m at work, Julian. I can’t chat all day.

  Julian: Oh, okay. I see. Good luck with those inhibitions.

  Eva135: I don’t have inhibitions.

  Julian: Really?

  Eva: Yes really.

  Eva ground her teeth until they hurt. She could almost hear Julian’s sarcastic tone. How did he do that? How could he make her feel like he was belittling her when he wasn’t even in the room? He didn’t know her.

  Eva135: I don’t have to prove myself to you.

  Julian: Really?

  Eva135: Stop saying that. Is that your favourite word or something?

  Julian: Now, now, Evangeline. There’s no need to get upset.

  Eva135: I’m not upset. Why the fuck would I be upset?

  Julian: People tend to use profanities when they’re upset. I don’t care for it personally.

  Eva135: Sorry.

  Eva hit send and instantly regretted it. She should take Mr. Doe’s advice and stop apologising every time someone challenged her. Julian was an ass, she decided.

  Eva135: I can say whatever the fuck I like.

  Eva’s heart raced reading back over her last reply. She would never dare be that assertive in person, but her conversation with Julian gave her a new sense of confidence. Besides, Julian twisted everything she said. He was infuriating. She hovered her mouse over the little red X button at the top left of her screen. All she had to do was click it, and Julian would disappear. Click it, she told herself. CLICK IT. She didn’t.

  Julian: Do we have a date, Evangeline?

  Eva didn’t reply. She needed a little more time to think.

  Julian: ‘Evangeline?

  She waited.