Free to Dream

by Tracey Jerald

  Next went Holly, carrying a single amaryllis, her face serene and slightly tipped as if she knew where her photography interns were hiding. I bet the photos of her would be gorgeous.

  Then Ali, her stride as strong as her smile. Her head sways from left to right, blessing everyone with it. It falters for a moment when she reaches the front and her eyes meet Keene’s. Oh boy. I hope someone got that on camera. I’m thoughtful as I look at my sister. And my brother.

  Em lookst at me over her shoulder. “Saw that, did ya?”

  “Oh yeah,” I couldn’t miss it.

  “I hope that’s not going to bother you, ’cause I don’t think they’re done yet.” Not giving me a chance to react, Em pauses a second before she takes her first step. “By the way, Caleb looks hot.” And she makes her way down the aisle.

  Seriously, did she just say that to me on my wedding day? I stamp my foot. Phil is in hysterics next to me, wiping his eyes.

  “What the hell, Phil? I didn’t pull that crap on you! Though Jason did look hot,” I admit.

  “She didn’t do that for you, Little Girl. She did that for me so I don’t cry walking you down the aisle.”

  Oh. Ohhh. I reach for my brother as the music changes to “Marry Me” by Train. It’s our cue. He gives me a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling my thin shoulder length veil over my face. We step out into the sun.

  As soon as I’m visible, I hear Caleb’s gasp. Like our wedding, my dress is fairly casual. A tea-length informal gown in lush satin covered in lace, with a lace and jewel neckline. It still shows off my curves. My hair, which grew back from being shaved, is twisted up in an updo so you can see my mother’s ruby earrings. I have Em’s delicate gold bracelet around my right wrist.

  My something blue is for Caleb alone.

  I carry a bouquet of amaryllis in front of me as I walk at a steady pace to Caleb who is standing in front of an arbor made of red balloons. His eyes are wet and he isn’t trying to hide it. Behind him stands Ryan, Keene, and Jason. Phil will take his place there after he walks me to Caleb, who is nothing short of delicious in a dark red shirt and navy dress slacks. The rest of the groomsmen are all wearing some variation of blue on blue, like Phil.

  “You’re beautiful,” he whispers as we approach. He shakes Phil’s hand, gets pulled into a hearty embrace, listens to what Phil says and nods. “I promise,” he says to my brother.

  Taking my arm, he turns us to face Charlie.

  That’s right, Charlie. He’s performing the ceremony for us today, but we’re going to the justice of the peace tomorrow to make it legal. In our hearts, this is the ceremony that counts and the day we’ll celebrate with our family going forward.

  “I’ve had the honor and privilege of knowing both Caleb and Cassidy for years. Knew ’em both individually long before their paths finally crossed. Seeing what I’ve had the pleasure of seeing, I have to admit, I might’ve thought about putting these two together sooner. Took too damn long if you ask me.” Behind us, the small crowd laughs uproariously. Caleb and I grin at each other. This is exactly what we’d wanted.

  “Now, I’m not a mushy kinda guy, but this woman up here, the first time I met her, she grabbed hold of my heart and never let go. Same with her brother and sisters. If I’m damn lucky, maybe I’ll be asked to officiate at the other girls’ weddings soon.” Now I’m the one hooting at my sisters who all have the exact same expressions of horror on their faces.

  That’ll teach you to give crap to the bride.

  “But back to Caleb and Cassidy.” We all turn back to Charlie. “I used to tell Cassidy that storms don’t last forever, but today, I want you both to know true love does. You’ll be able to lean on each other through the storms you might experience in the future.” This is something we’re well aware of already. Caleb squeezes my arm tightly.

  “The vows you are about to make are going to last forever. Only the gravest of sins, the wrongest of doin’s should be cause to break them. So, before entering into them, do either of you or anyone object to this marriage?”

  No one speaks up, but we didn’t expect them to.

  “Now, I expect you’ve heard enough outta me for a while. Caleb and Cassidy have written their own vows. Caleb, why don’t you start us off. Wait!” We all wait for his next direction. “Cassidy, first give Emily that buncha flowers so you can hold your man’s hand.” The snickering is almost out of control from our family and close friends.

  I turn to Em and hand her my bouquet. She smirks and blows me a kiss before I turn back to Caleb and take both of his hands.

  “All right, Caleb. Go on ahead.” Charlie takes a step back and I look into Caleb’s eyes. The chocolate depths are swimming with laughter, joy, and love. My favorite combination.

  He brings my hand to his mouth and kisses it. “Cassidy, my love, I think the first time you calmly called your brother Phillip in such a calm voice after he dropped a ticking time bomb in your lap, I knew I was in trouble.” The audience, especially my family, roars. “You had steel and strength in your eyes, kissable lips, and a stubborn tilt to your chin that dared anyone to cross your path in that moment. I was completely hooked.” More laughter.

  “You’ll be thrilled to know that as a male, I felt it was my sworn duty to try to add an additional roadblock in our courtship by being a smart-ass in your office that first day. I mean, it’s not like we needed any more help in that area in the upcoming months. Our courtship was so dull after all.” I smile and laugh at that. To hear Caleb joking around about everything that led us here is such a relief. But then, his eyes get serious.

  “It wasn’t too long ago I listened to you thank someone for everything they did for you. Now, it’s my turn to do the same.” He pauses and takes a deep breath.

  “Thank you for loving me.”

  “Thank you for giving yourself to me.”

  “Thank you for sharing your family and mine.”

  “Thank you for not letting me give in to the dark.”

  “Thank you for always giving me your light.”

  “Thank you for your smile in the morning.”

  “Thank you for your arms at night.”

  “Thank you for your strength when I need it.”

  “Thank you for your courage.”

  “Thank you for your heart every minute of every day. I promise to cherish it for the rest of our lives.”

  By the time Caleb finishes, I can’t see his face any longer. I’m a wreck. I reach under my veil to wipe my eyes when I hear Em hiss again, “Dab!” as she shoves a tissue over my shoulder. I try to recover some of my makeup as I dab it with the tissue. I want to memorize the expression on Caleb’s face. His eyes are shiny from his unshed tears and full of love, but his lips are quirked up in a cocky grin, questioning me on how he did.

  I know I can beat it.

  Charlie’s voice booms out next to us. “Sweet Jesus, boy. You had me tearing up. Cassidy, you able to talk yet, girl?” I nod. “You ready?” I take a deep breath and look into Caleb’s loving eyes.

  I’m so ready.

  I bring his hand to my mouth and kiss it through the veil. “Caleb, when you walked into my office, I was disappointed for the first time ever in a client. I didn’t want you to be the groom.” Everyone laughs. “There was a spark between us, but after the stunt you pulled that first day, I’d be damned if I’d admit to it. By the way, does this mean I’m technically marrying Ryan and Jared too?” The screaming laughter from everyone stops the ceremony for a few minutes.

  Caleb just shakes his head, laughing. When everyone calms down, Caleb says to me, “You ready to continue?” I grin at him and nod.

  “It wasn’t easy falling in love with you because we had to fight so many demons along the way.” He squeezes my hands and I squeeze back. “I always knew we’d come out on top because after a while, I wasn’t worried. I had faith in us.” I take a deep breath. “And if it’s a girl, I think that’s what her name should be.”

  I can hear wave after wave of ga
sps across our small group.

  I hadn’t told anyone what I suspected.

  Caleb visibly staggers. Ryan puts his arms out to catch his brother in the event he falls. “What? You’re…we’re…?” He can’t even form a coherent sentence.

  I nod frantically and quickly rush out with, “I know we didn’t plan for this, but…”

  His mouth hanging open, and then I see it.

  The joy in his eyes.

  Right before he drops to his knees and wraps his arms around my waist. His head lands in the region of my stomach and I hold him tight.

  I look blindly past Ryan’s face, which has a huge grin on it, into that of Keene’s. My brother by blood. His eyes are wet as well, his hand in a fist over his heart. I smile.

  Behind him stands Jason, and while he’s smiling, I can see he’s scanning me like the doctor he is.

  My eyes lock with Phil’s. The boy who turned into a man between one heartbeat and the next. The brother of my heart who saved mine. His hand is over his mouth and the tears are flowing over it.

  Suddenly, I’m airborne as Caleb is swinging me around in his arms. “Oh God, I love you.”

  He starts to make his way down the aisle. I swat at him. “Caleb!”

  “What?” His face is alight with joy. I know he’s ready to give me the world.

  All I want is the rest of my wedding.

  “How about we let Charlie finish? Then you can carry me down the aisle?” I demand.

  He bellows out a laugh before turning and putting me back down at the altar. “Charlie! Let’s wrap this up! We have a lot to celebrate!”

  “Apparently so,” Charlie drawls, coming up to us again. Before he says anything else to finish the ceremony, he leans forward and kisses me on the cheek. “Congratulations, beautiful. You’ll make a great Mommy. You’ve already had a lot of practice.” He nods toward my sisters.

  My eyes fill up. His words mean so much. I lean over and kiss his cheek quickly. He clears his throat and continues.

  “As a symbol of marriage, your wedding ring will represent your commitment to each other for life. It’s a symbol of your love for one another. Corinna, can you bring up the rings?” My sister quickly steps forward with the box. Charlie opens up the glass box and removes two rings, handing my ring to Caleb and his to me.

  “Caleb, take Cassidy’s ring. Place it on the third finger of her left hand and repeat after me. I, Caleb.”

  “I, Caleb…”

  “Give you, Cassidy…”

  “Give you, Cassidy…”

  “This ring as a symbol of my eternal love and commitment to you.”

  “This ring as a symbol of my eternal love and commitment to you.”

  Once the ring is slid on, Caleb lifts my hand and kisses it, his eyes never leaving mine.

  Charlie clears his throat. “Cassidy, it’s your turn, honey. Take Caleb’s left hand. Place his ring on the third finger of his left hand and repeat after me. I, Cassidy.”

  I look at Caleb with every bit of love in my heart. “I, Cassidy…”

  “Give you, Caleb…”

  “Give you, Caleb…”

  “This ring as a symbol of my eternal love and commitment to you.”

  “This ring as a symbol of my eternal love and commitment to you.”

  I capture his hand next to my cheek and nuzzle it through the veil. I am so ready for this thing to be off.

  Charlie adds, “I could go on about these two.”

  Caleb interrupts. “Please don’t.”

  Charlie, as if Caleb hadn’t spoken, says, “But I think there’s been enough happening today and we all want to celebrate. All I’ll say is this. Beauty may fade, money may be won or lost, but the love you feel right now will grow stronger with every day that passes. Hold onto that, and you’ll live a life that most people will envy.”

  I smile up at Caleb. Truer words…by the poet Charlie Henderson.

  “And since the State of Connecticut is such sticks in the mud that a real justice of the peace has to redo all this again tomorrow, by the power invested in me by nobody but the love of the two people in front of me, I am proud to present to you Mr. And Mrs. Caleb Lockwood…and baby!”

  Caleb lifts my veil before laying one a hell of a kiss on me as he dips me back.

  It ends up being my favorite wedding photo, because everyone I love in the world, including my husband, our child, and our family is framed perfectly in it with a hovering red balloon that manages to escape the others, trying to make its way toward the heavens.

  The End

  Where To Get Help

  Child abuse victims are often too scared or too ashamed to tell anyone of the trauma they endured. Even more tragically, they may encounter skepticism when they do muster up the courage; particularly if the abuser is someone who is considered “trusted” (such as a family member, a friend, or a respected authority figure). The best way to stop child abuse is to report it to local authorities, who will conduct an investigation and potentially prosecute the abuser.

  In the United States, the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services (HHS) provides support through its Child Welfare Information Gateway (https://www.childwelfare.gov), which promotes the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline (https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/). The hotline provides anonymous crisis assistance, counseling, and referral services 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-422-4453.

  Coming Soon

  There are sparks between them. Will they act on them or will they run?

  In Fall 2018, find out what happens between Ali and Keene.

  To be notified of the release of Free to Run, sign up here: smarturl.it/FTR_Release

  Add it to Goodreads here: smarturl.it/FTRun_GR

  Acknowledgments

  I don’t know where to begin other than to say, if I miss someone please know you are in the most important place – my heart.

  First, to my husband. There are not enough words to say what needs to be said. You’ve travelled along this path with me every step of the way. From the moment I took over our kitchen table, to supporting the ungodly hours I kept, and with your unwavering belief in me, you’ve always stood by me. You’ve always been there. I know you always will be. Without your constant love there is no way I could have had the courage to be me. Just remember you kissed me first.

  To my amazing son. There are so many reasons I could use to sum up how much I love you but maybe this will do – I just love listening to your heartbeat. I am so proud of who you are and what you do every day. Follow your dreams, baby, wherever they take you.

  To my mother, who literally could not look at the teasers for this book so there is absolutely no expectation of her reading it. Thank you for every advantage you gave me as a child I had to become an adult to appreciate. You’ve evolved into more than just my mother but a trusted friend. I am so blessed. To my father – I miss you every single day you’re not here with us.

  Jen, what do I say to you? There aren’t enough words to express my love, my joy, my gratitude for your love and friendship. From the first day we met, we’ve climbed mountains together. This one just happened to be a mountain of words. You stood by me as I agonized writing some of the scenes in this book. You pulled me from the doldrums when I didn’t think I could go on. You and I both know the biggest push you ever gave me. Thank you again for hanging up on me that night. You are still the best gift I have ever been given. I love you beyond bearing.

  To my Meows; Jen, Tara, Alissa, Greg, and Kristina. We finally have our compound! Just like we always dreamed of. Next stop, making the virtual a reality. Thank you for the constant encouragement in this and in every area of my life. When’s our next trip?

  My Betas, particularly Spoon and Toasty. Thank you for dropping what you were doing to read what may have been screen shots as I was re-writing on the fly. For the phone calls, the kicks in the pants, the refusal to let me give in, and for doing something which is really hard – giving honest feedback.

  Ash, I co
uld fill a page with my appreciation for your love and support. If it wasn’t for you, I would have tossed this aside a long time ago. From that first moment in Charlotte, we clicked. We dove into this together and we’ll have each other through it. Even when we hit the “crossroads” we’ll still “dream” together. Love you, babe.

  Alessandra Torre, my mentor and friend. Without your openness, willingness to answer questions, and desire to give back to the community you love, I know I would still be struggling with many aspects of this craziness. Just remember when I tackle hug you, it’s all of my pent-up emotions bubbling to the surface.

  Corinne Michaels, thank you for making sure I was doing this for the right reasons and some fantastic music along the way.

  Jenna Jacob, from the moment we met we just clicked. I love you so much, woman! Thank you for your kicking my ass when I needed it the most.

  To my editing team, Trifecta Editing Services. Wow! Amy, Lyndsey, and Dana – you challenged me on my decisions and pushed me farther all while having fun in the process. You made me, Caleb and Cassidy shine. I solemnly swear, I’ll try to check myself on as many “eyes and looks” in the future!

  To Holly Malgeri from Holly’s Red Hot Reviews. Thank you for pushing me to be better on my first release and activating that wonder twin power and sending jars of cupcakes to carry me through.

  My cover and brand designer, Amy Queue of QDesigns, I’m still not sure how you managed to sync our minds to make it perfect, but I am not complaining. Thank you for getting to know me and my characters. You are so gifted it blows me away.

  To the team at Foreward PR and especially Linda Russell – you are absolutely unbelievable! Our “quick” introduction meeting (cough…2 hours…) will live in my heart forever.

  To Nazarea Andrews and Inkslinger, thank you for taking a chance on this unknown author and promoting Free to Dream.

  To any bloggers who took a chance on this new author’s book, please accept my heartfelt gratitude. From large blogs to small ones, your thoughts matter. So many readers depend on you for insight and guidance. Just the idea you took the time to read Free to Dream is an honor I will never forget. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.