Flame of Desire

by Carole Mortimer

  I don’t know how you kept it to yourself,’ said Sophie.

  ‘It wasn’t easy,’ Rosemary said ruefully. ‘But I’ve had so many disappointments in the past that I didn’t want to say anything until I was really sure. I came up for tests on Wednesday and they telephoned me with the result on Friday.’

  Wednesday was also the day she had visited Luke! But then neither she nor Luke knew that Sophie knew about that.

  Her stepmother gave her a sharp look. ‘Is it anything that I’ve done that makes you want to leave Luke? I’ve been a real bitch to you since I found out about the two of you, and I had no right to be like that. Does that have anything to do with it?’

  ‘No,’ Sophie answered truthfully.

  ‘Are you sure? Your father did rather pressurise this marriage. Although there was that painting,’ Rosemary added thoughtfully.

  ‘Yes.’ Sophie stood up jerkily.

  ‘Is your separation to be permanent or just temporary?’

  ‘Permanent, I think. But don’t worry, I’ll find somewhere of my own in a few days. I just want to get myself together first.’

  Rosemary frowned. ‘If you leave Luke you will stay here. This is your home. But are you sure you really do want to leave him?’

  ‘Yes,’ Sophie said tensely. ‘It’s the only thing to do in the circumstances. Our marrying at all was a mistake—desire is very different from love.’

  ‘And desire is all there is?’

  Sophie nodded. ‘And you can’t build a marriage on that. You’re right when you say Daddy had a lot to do with us getting married, the truth would have hurt him terribly. I’ll leave you now.’ She realised she had said too much, not wanting to embarrass Rosemary over her affair with Luke now it was over.

  Luke had disappeared when she came down the stairs and she rushed into her father’s study, her face flushed. ‘Has Luke already left?’ she asked breathlessly. Surely he could have gone, not without saying goodbye to her? Surely even he couldn’t be that cruel?

  Her father looked up from the papers on his desk. ‘Not as far as I know.’ He sat back in his chair. ‘He said something about going for a walk.’

  ‘Oh!’ She couldn’t help but show her relief.

  ‘We had a talk over breakfast, and he seems to be of the same opinion as you, that you would be better for staying here for a while.’

  Luke had wasted no time in voicing his approval! ’I told you he wouldn’t mind,’ she said with forced lightness.

  ‘I didn’t say he wouldn’t mind,’ her father watched her closely. ‘He just thought it would be better for you.’

  Like hell he did! She lowered her lashes so that her father shouldn’t see her involuntary anger. Why couldn’t Luke just admit he would be glad to get rid of her? She had no doubt she had proved an enjoyable bed companion, his response to her had shown her that, but there would be plenty of other women only too happy to supply him with such entertainment.

  ‘Rosemary quite liked the idea.’ She made no comment on Luke’s opinion.

  Her father frowned. ‘Just because you’re married it doesn’t mean Rosemary is any less your mother. I don’t like you calling her Rosemary.’

  She blushed. ‘Slip of the tongue, Daddy.’ Because ’Rosemary’ was how Luke thought of her stepmother. ‘I think I’ll go and see if I can find Luke.’

  ‘You do that,’ he nodded his approval.

  She met Luke on his way back to the house, his expression cool as he slowly appraised her. ‘I have decided to leave now,’ he told her distantly.

  Her shoulders slumped. ‘Couldn’t you just—’

  ‘No,’ he snapped. ‘I have explained to your father why I must go, as I am sure you have explained to Rosemary. I can see no reason for delay.’

  Neither could she, except that she didn’t want to say goodbye to him. ‘Aren’t you going to say goodbye to my parents?’ she attempted to delay him.

  ‘It is not necessary. I have already spoken to your father and your stepmother is not down yet.’

  ‘Oh!’ She couldn’t think of anything else to say.

  He looked at her for a long silent moment. ‘Very well,’ he said finally. ‘I will go now. My things are already in the car.’

  ‘I—I’ll walk to the car with you.’

  He nodded his dark head. ‘If you wish.’

  Oh, she wished, she wished now she were going with him. She put her hand on his arm. ‘Luke…’

  ‘Yes?’ His tone wasn’t forthcoming.

  Her hand dropped away. ‘Nothing,’ she mumbled.

  They walked out to the car together, Sophie very much aware that this could be a final goodbye. Luke swung into the driving seat, leaning out of the open window to look at her. Now that it had actually come to it she didn’t know what to say.

  ‘Do not feel so bad, Sophie,’ Luke broke the silence. ‘A two-week marriage will soon be forgotten.’

  ‘By you,’ she accused resentfully.

  ‘By both of us.’

  ‘But it isn’t over. I’m only staying here—’

  He gave a mocking smile. ‘Do not lie to yourself as well as everyone else. You will not come back to the apartment, we both know that.’

  ‘I—’

  ‘At least admit it to me, Sophie,’ he said harshly.

  ‘But I— What about my clothes?’

  He shrugged his broad shoulders and switched on the ignition. ‘You can collect them any time you like.’

  ‘Thank you,’ she said stiffly.

  Again he smiled, his brown eyes pebble-hard. ‘But I would advise you to telephone first.’

  ‘But I have my key,’ she reminded him.

  ‘I did not suggest you telephone first because I thought you would be unable to get in,’ he taunted.

  How could she have been so stupid! Of course, he could have anyone there with him, and he certainly wouldn’t welcome her interruption. ‘I’ll call first,’ she mumbled.

  ‘Do that.’ He revved up the car engine. ‘Goodbye, Sophie.’

  ‘Goodbye.’

  CHAPTER TEN

  SOPHIE had never known time to drag by so slowly, the last five weeks had seemed like five years. A new rapport had grown between Rosemary and herself, a closeness that had never been there when she was a child. But it didn’t matter how kind her parents were, she missed Luke abominably.

  There had been no word from him, nothing to tell her he was still alive even. She longed to go and collect her remaining clothes just so that she could at least see him, but she dreaded telephoning him and perhaps finding he was ’busy’. She longed to see him, but didn’t think she was yet up to the humiliation of finding him with another woman. Besides, while her clothes remained at the apartment their separation wasn’t final.

  She stifled a yawn of boredom, her sigh deep-felt. She had just been swimming in their pool, the scantiness of her chocolate brown bikini showing how much weight she had lost the last few weeks, her figure thinning to almost gauntness. Luke certainly wouldn’t desire her body the way she looked at the moment.

  Thinking of Luke she sighed again. What was he doing, who was he seeing? She knew she had no right to wonder these things, but it didn’t stop her thinking of him day and night. That was a lot of her trouble, she couldn’t eat or sleep for thinking of him. Her bed seemed so empty without him beside her.

  Martin came out on to the patio. ‘Mr Sedgwick-Jones, Mrs Vittorio.’

  Mrs Vittorio! Amazingly that was her, in spite of everything. ‘Show him out here, please, Martin.’ She sat up, pulling on her thin cotton robe. ‘Hi,’ she greeted Nicholas. ‘Join me,’ she indicated the lounger next to her own.

  Instead he chose to pull over one of the chairs. ‘I came over to invite you to dinner this evening.’

  ‘Well, I—’

  ‘Hey, come on, Sophie,’ he chided. ‘How long are you going to keep refusing my invitations? I must have asked you over to dinner half a dozen times, and each time you’ve refused.’

  ‘I’m a mar
ried woman,’ she pointed out.

  ‘So?’

  ‘So people would talk if I came over to your house.’

  Nicholas sighed. ‘My mother is an adequate chaper-one—more than adequate,’ he added dryly. ‘And I would really like you to come.’

  She felt sure he would; his pursuit of her did not seem to have abated at all. To him her brief marriage might as well not have taken place. Perhaps that was the way she should look at it too, try to forget it ever happened. But how was she supposed to forget Luke, how did you forget the man you loved!

  ‘I really don’t think it would be a good idea, Nicholas,’ she refused him.

  ‘I don’t see why not. Your marriage to Vittorio is over, isn’t it?’

  Like everyone else Nicholas had been told she was only staying a few days, but her parents had persuaded her to stay on instead of finding somewhere of her own, giving rise to much gossip, she felt sure. ‘It isn’t over, Nicholas,’ she began carefully. ‘We’re just—’

  ‘Separated,’ he finished with satisfaction.

  ‘In a way,’ she admitted reluctantly.

  ‘Then come over to dinner,’ he grabbed hold of one of her hands, refusing to let go as she struggled against him.

  She shook her head. ‘It wouldn’t be fair—to you. Just think of the gossip.’

  ‘For once I don’t care. I’ve always been mad about you, Sophie, you know that.’

  ‘That’s exactly the reason I don’t think it would be a good idea.’

  ‘I still want to marry you.’

  ‘That could be a little difficult,’ she said dryly, ’when I’m already married.’

  ‘You could always divorce him.’

  ‘Luke said there would be no divorce.’

  ‘He won’t have any say in it if we can find grounds for it.’ His mouth turned back. ‘And sooner or later he’s going to give you grounds. It would just be a matter of proving it.’

  Sophie was horrified. ‘You’re surely not suggesting I put someone on to watch him?’

  Nicholas shrugged. ‘Why not? If he won’t let you go any other way…’

  ‘I really don’t think—’

  ‘All right, we won’t talk about it any more just now. But do come to dinner this evening. As a matter of fact I’ve already told my mother you’ll be there.’

  ‘You had no right to do that,’ she said angrily, at last managing to snatch her hand away.

  ‘My last method of persuasion,’ he grinned. ‘You wouldn’t make me look a fool by having to tell her you aren’t coming?’

  Sophie smiled reluctantly. ‘You never used to be so devious, Nicholas.’

  ‘Then perhaps I should have been.’ He stood up to leave. ‘Then you might not have made the mistake of marrying Vittorio. It would have been better all round if you’d just had an affair with him.’

  ‘Nicholas!’

  ‘Well, it would.’ Colour entered his cheeks. ‘Not that I would have liked that either, but this way you could be tied up for years.’

  ‘I’m not making any promises even then, Nicholas,’ she warned gently.

  He nodded. ‘It’s only natural that you should feel this way—once bitten twice shy, so to speak. But I would be a very different proposition from Vittorio.’

  That was the trouble; he had none of Luke’s fire and sensual attraction. But perhaps that wasn’t such a bad thing. With Nicholas she would have a pleasant smooth-running marriage, with none of the feeling of living on a knife’s edge that marriage to Luke had induced. It was like comparing water to champagne—and she had no doubt which one she preferrred.

  ‘It wouldn’t work, Nicholas,’ she told him.

  ‘Not now perhaps, but later, when you’re over him. I can be very patient, Sophie, if I have to be. And I do want you for my wife.’

  ‘I—’

  ‘Don’t refuse me now, Sophie. Wait a while, see how you feel then. We’ll just be friends for now, nothing more.’

  As far as she was concerned that was all they had ever been, although she had the feeling she had misjudged him somewhat. Maybe he had always seemed dull and boring to her because he was shy; he certainly wasn’t acting boring and dull now.

  ‘I’m not really sure…’ she began.

  ‘You wanted me to kiss you once, Sophie,’ he reminded her. ‘And I was stupid enough not to accept.’

  She remembered the occasion vividly—and her humiliation. ‘Luke explained about that,’ she said huskily.

  ‘Yes, he did, but at least it proves you aren’t immune to me.’

  All it seemed to prove to her was that she had attempted to hit out at Luke and failed. She could still remember the way he had laughed at her.

  She sighed. ‘It doesn’t prove anything, Nicholas. I don’t think—’

  ‘I don’t want you to think,’ he cut in. ‘I’ll be calling for you this evening at seven-thirty.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘Seven-thirty, Sophie.’

  Her own misgivings were strongly echoed by her father when she told him she would be dining out that evening. ‘Is that wise?’ he asked with a frown.

  ‘Wise?’ She pretended not to understand him.

  ‘He may expect more from you now than you’re prepared to give.’

  She blushed scarlet. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I think you know, Sophie.’

  ‘Oh, but Nicholas wouldn’t—I wouldn’t let him!’ she said indignantly.

  ‘I hate to say this, Sophie, but I feel I have to. You’ve been married, you’ve become used to a certain—well, a certain relationship.’

  She coloured anew. ‘I would hardly call two weeks long enough to get used to that!’

  ‘But we all know it was longer than two weeks. You haven’t forgotten the reason for the hasty marriage.’

  Momentarily she had, at least her father’s version of it. ‘No,’ she admitted quietly.

  ‘Then you’ll understand my fears. I wouldn’t want you to rush into another relationship without giving it proper thought.’

  ‘You’re beginning to make me sound like a wanton woman, Daddy,’ she teased.

  ‘Not at all,’ he denied hastily. ‘I just want you to recognise the dangers involved in seeing Nicholas.’

  ‘I do, Daddy.’

  ‘And if you do ever go back to Luke? How do you propose to explain away seeing Nicholas?’

  The same way he would explain his other women! ’I won’t be going back to Luke,’ she said firmly.

  He gave her a sharp look. ‘You’ve definitely made up your mind?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Don’t you think you should talk to him before you make such a big decision?’

  She would like nothing better, but it would hurt too much. ‘I don’t think so, Daddy.’ She looked at her wrist-watch. ‘I must get ready to go out.’

  He put a restraining hand on her arm. ‘Don’t act too hastily, Sophie,’ he pleaded. ‘Give Luke a chance.’

  ‘A chance to explain away his other women?’ she snapped without thought. ‘Oh yes, Daddy,’ she added with a sigh, ’there’ve always been other women.’

  ‘I see,’ he bit his lip, shrugging. ‘Well, I tried.’

  ‘Yes, you did, and I’m grateful to you. Now I must get ready.’

  Nicholas’s mother obviously hadn’t yet forgiven Sophie for marrying someone other than her son, although she began to mellow a little over their coffee in the lounge. Sophie almost heaved a sigh of relief as the conversation began to flow a little easier. Nicholas had smoothed over a lot of his mother’s barbed comments, but it had been a little wearing on the nerves.

  ‘Your mother is keeping well?’ she asked.

  ‘Very well,’ Sophie confirmed.

  ‘Of course I told Nicholas you weren’t just staying at home to look after your mother. Now I’ve been proved right.’

  ‘Yes,’ Sophie acknowledged tightly, sure there was nothing this woman liked more than to be right.

  ‘Nicholas tells me there could
be some difficulty about a divorce.’

  ‘Mother—’

  ‘Don’t interrupt, Nicholas,’ his mother snapped. ‘I suppose an annulment is out of the question?’ she addressed Sophie.

  After the honeymoon they had spent together! ’Definitely,’ she confirmed, resenting this woman’s intrusion into her personal life.

  Mrs Sedgwick-Jones’ nose wrinkled with distaste. ‘I thought so. He didn’t look the sort of man not to have taken full advantage of having a wife.’

  ‘Look, I really don’t—’ began Sophie.

  ‘You’ll have to divorce him, of course,’ she continued as if Sophie hadn’t spoken. ‘I wouldn’t want Nicholas to be named in a divorce.’

  ‘Now look—’

  ‘Mother—’

  ‘It will all have to be carried out very quietly,’ she carried on, ignoring their protests. ‘It wouldn’t do to start your married life under a cloud.’

  ‘I really think you’re—’

  ‘Mother!’ Nicholas cut off Sophie’s protest this time. ‘Don’t interfere,’ he ordered.

  She looked as if he had struck her. ‘Well! I was only trying to give you both a little sound advice.’ She folded her arms across her immense bosom. ‘But I realise that to you I must just seem like an interfering old woman.’

  She had deliberately set out to make Nicholas feel uncomfortable, and she had succeeded. ‘I didn’t mean that, Mother, and you know it.’

  ‘I’m sure I don’t know any such thing. If a mother can’t try and help her child then it’s a poor world we live in.’

  Sophie stood up to leave before the woman broke down and cried just for good measure. ‘I think you have the wrong impression of Nicholas and myself,’ she said stiffly. ‘We aren’t getting married, not now or in the future.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘And whether or not I divorce my husband is surely up to me and me alone,’ she continued. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to be going. Thank you for dinner.’