Starting Over (Treading Water Trilogy)

by Force, Marie

“I appreciate you guys understanding that I need to do this.”

  “I gotta say, this whole thing with Sarah sure does explain a lot,” Colin said. “I can’t believe no one ever figured it out.”

  “I worked very hard to keep it a secret. I was ashamed of it sometimes, especially after they were married.”

  “There it is.” Colin pointed as Declan parked the car.

  They got out of the car and pulled on their matching O’Malley & Sons coats to walk up the small hill to where Sarah was buried with her son Colin and her grandmother.

  The brothers studied the stone marker for several quiet minutes before Colin and Declan left Brandon alone at the grave.

  He ran a hand over the smooth granite headstone. “I’m sorry I was such a jerk, Sarah,” he whispered. “I wish you’d known how much I loved you. I would’ve done anything for you. I’ve never stopped thinking about you, and I just hope you’ve found peace wherever you are now.” His eyes burned with tears. “Aidan’s hanging in there, so you don’t need to worry about him. I think he and I will be better now. At least I hope so.” He swiped at a warm tear that rolled down his cold cheek. “Well, I’d better go. Colin’s got a date that’s not really a date, and he’s anxious to get home. I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. We all love you and miss you and baby Colin.” Brandon stood hunched against the cold for another long moment before he returned to the car.

  “You okay, Brand?” Declan asked.

  “Yeah,” Brandon said, his voice heavy and raw. “Let’s go find that ring you need.”

  Chapter 15, Day 35

  They arrived in Chatham at five thirty with a two-carat diamond ring locked in the glove compartment of Declan’s car.

  “Don’t do anything rash, Dec,” Colin said as he got out of the car at his house. “Just because you have the ring doesn’t mean you have to pop the question to get out of the dog house.”

  Declan laughed. “I’ll try to control myself. Have fun on your date or whatever it is.”

  “You’ll go by and see Mum?” Colin asked Brandon.

  Brandon nodded. “I’ll take care of it.”

  “She’s gonna be bummed,” Colin said. “She loved Clare.”

  “I know,” Brandon said.

  “Well, it’s been real.” Colin grabbed his backpack from the trunk. “I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow.”

  When Declan dropped him off at the apartment building, Brandon tossed his bag into the back of his truck and drove to his parents’ house. He wanted to check in with them before he kept his promise to Mike.

  “Hello,” he called as he walked into the pink house. “Anyone home?”

  “In here, love,” his mother called from the family room.

  His parents were in their side-by-side easy chairs watching the news.

  “Hey,” Dennis said. “You guys are back. How was the trip?”

  Brandon kissed his mother and sat down on the footstool in front of her. “It was, ah…eventful.”

  “So what’s wrong with your brother?” Colleen asked, cutting right to the chase.

  Brandon took her hand. “He and Clare broke up.”

  “What?” Colleen gasped as tears filled her eyes. “No…”

  “I’m sorry, Mum. I know how much you liked her.”

  “What happened? They’re madly in love! That was so obvious.”

  “I think they still are, but she wants to adopt a child.”

  “And he doesn’t want that,” Colleen said, nodding with understanding.

  “No.”

  “But why?” Dennis asked. “He’d be such a great father.”

  “We tried to tell him that, but he said he just couldn’t do it, you know, after what happened with baby Colin and everything.”

  Colleen wiped at a tear. “I really thought he was going to marry her.”

  “I guess this all came up when he proposed.”

  Colleen winced.

  “Poor Aidan,” Dennis said with a grim set to his mouth. “He must be heartbroken.”

  “He is, but he’s going back to work tomorrow, and I think he’ll be okay. He doesn’t want you guys worrying about him.”

  “Fat chance of that,” Colleen said. “How about you? Did you work things out with him?”

  “Well, we cleared the air a little.” Brandon hesitated before he added, “Listen, ah, some stuff came up this weekend that I should probably tell you about before you hear it through the grapevine.”

  “What kind of stuff?” Dennis asked.

  For the second time in as many days, Brandon confessed to his feelings for Sarah and how they’d colored his relationship with Aidan.

  “She was your brother’s wife,” Colleen said in a scandalized whisper, her hand over her heart.

  “She wasn’t my brother’s wife when I fell for her, Mum.”

  “But still,” Colleen stammered. “Mother of God.”

  “What did he say when you told him this?” Dennis asked with shock showing on his face, too.

  “Needless to say, he was quite upset, but we talked about it, and I hope maybe we understand each other better. It was quite a weekend.”

  “Sounds like it,” Dennis said.

  “I just can’t see how you kept this to yourself all this time,” Colleen said.

  “Remember when you were so mad that I didn’t go to her funeral? I didn’t go because I couldn’t. I was so devastated, Mum, and I didn’t even have a right to that much. Do you understand what that did to me?”

  “You’ve kept so much locked inside of you, love. It’s no wonder you turned to alcohol.”

  “It was the only way I could get any relief. But I’m discovering there’s a lot of relief in honesty.”

  “I was right to send you up there,” Colleen said. “I knew there was something wrong with him, and I wanted you two to work things out.”

  Brandon smiled. “Killed two birds, did you, Mum?”

  “I did what needed to be done,” she said with a shrug.

  Brandon shot an amused glance at his father. “She really plays us, doesn’t she, Da?”

  “It’s better for me to stay out of it. Self-preservation.”

  “Oh, hush, Denny.” Colleen ran a soothing hand over her son’s hair. “Do you need something to eat?”

  “No, thanks.” Brandon stood up. “I’ve got to run.” He leaned over to kiss his mother. “Try not to worry, Mum. Aidan will get through this. He’s a survivor.”

  “So are you, love. I’m proud of you for taking responsibility and for working so hard to stay sober.”

  He squeezed her hand. “I’ll give you a call tomorrow.”

  “Take care, son,” Dennis said.

  Colin brought flowers. He knew he probably shouldn’t have, but after looking forward to seeing her all weekend, he’d turned this into a date in his mind. Meredith’s house on Stepping Stones Road was a traditional two-story shingled cape. Colin followed the path created by lantern lights lining the walk to the front door.

  Before he could ring the bell, she came to the door wearing a white sweater that might’ve been cashmere, with black pants and high-heeled boots. Her sleek dark hair cascaded past her shoulders.

  “Hi,” she said, opening the storm door for him.

  Colin kept the flowers behind his back as he was hit with an unexpected burst of nerves. He should’ve skipped them. “You look great.” Since he couldn’t very well keep them hidden all night, he handed her the flowers. “For you.”

  “Oh,” she said, her cheeks flushing with color.

  “From a friend,” he clarified.

  “They’re beautiful. Thank you. Come in.”

  He followed her through the cozy house to the kitchen, where she found a vase for the flowers.

  “I see you’re into antiques.”

  “My mother says I bought the house when my antiques overtook my apartment.”

  “Something smells good.”

  “I hope you don’t mind, but I was just hanging out today, so I cooked.
Is that okay?”

  When her cheeks flushed to a rosy pink, his tongue tied itself in knots. “Of course, that’s fine. Let me call to cancel the reservation.”

  “I’m sorry. I messed up the plans.”

  “It’s fine. I’d much rather stay here.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Positive.” He pulled his cell phone from his coat pocket and handed the coat to Meredith. After a quick call to the restaurant to cancel the reservation, he turned off the phone.

  “Do you want some wine? Or I have beer, too. I wasn’t sure what you’d like.”

  “What’re you having?”

  “One glass of merlot.”

  “That sounds good.” He took the bottle from her to open it. When he’d poured them each a glass, he handed one of them to her. “Cheers.”

  She touched her glass to his. “Cheers.”

  “Are you nervous, Meredith?” he asked, looking at her over the rim of the wineglass.

  “Does it show?”

  “You don’t need to be afraid of me.”

  Her eyes never wavered. “I think I do.”

  “Why do you say that?” Colin asked, making a huge effort to sound casual when his heart was thumping.

  “Because I couldn’t wait to see you tonight.”

  He wanted to jump up and down but kept his expression neutral. “Maybe I should be afraid of you, then.”

  “How come?”

  “Because I couldn’t wait to see you, either.”

  Her smile was shy, and Colin had to resist the urge to find out if her rosy cheeks were as soft as they looked.

  “How was the trip with your brothers?”

  Colin rolled his eyes. “Interesting.” He gave her a brief summary of the high- and lowlights.

  “Sounds like a lot of drama. Brandon seems to be really working the program.”

  “He’s very determined. I continue to be cautiously optimistic.”

  Meredith took a sip of her wine. “How did you feel when Brandon confessed to being in love with Aidan’s wife? It must’ve been so…”

  “Shocking?”

  She nodded.

  “It was, but in some ways, I can understand it. She was so beautiful, and we all loved her. Her death was devastating.”

  “How long ago did she die?”

  “Ten years. Aidan’s been kind of a lost soul since then, so we were hopeful he’d make a go of it with Clare. It’s such a bummer that it didn’t work out for them.”

  “You’re really close to them, aren’t you? Your brothers?”

  Colin nodded. “They’re my best friends. Maybe it’s because we’ve also worked together all these years, but my parents were big on reminding us that we’d always have each other. I guess we took it to heart.”

  “Brandon’s lucky to have you guys on his side right now. That’s what will get him through this.”

  Colin leaned back against the counter and studied her as she stirred something on the stove. She was so easy to talk to, and the empathy he’d seen in her at Al-Anon seemed to be a big part of who she was away from the program, too.

  “Are you hungry? I didn’t know what you liked, so I made some of everything.” Her face flushed again with embarrassment.

  This time, Colin didn’t try to resist the urge to run a finger over one of her pink cheeks. As her breath caught, he watched the pulse in her throat flutter in response. He leaned in to brush his lips against hers and lingered when her hands landed on his chest. Drawing her closer, he discovered the sweater was indeed cashmere. He kept the kiss undemanding, but the taste of wine on her lips was intoxicating.

  Opening his eyes, he found hers closed in acquiescence. Encouraged, he ran his tongue lightly along her bottom lip, which caused her to draw a sharp deep breath. Moving to plant soft kisses along her jaw, he worked his way to her neck. The scent of her skin and the feel of her silky hair against his face fueled his desire, but still he went slowly in fear of scaring her away.

  Colin kept waiting for her to stop him, and when she didn’t, he captured her mouth again, this time holding nothing back. Several passionate minutes passed before Colin forced himself to slow down. “Meredith,” he whispered against her ear. “You’re making me crazy.”

  She shuddered. “I think something’s burning.”

  “It might be me,” Colin said as he trailed more kisses along her jaw.

  “On the stove,” she said with a giggle.

  After she adjusted the temperature on the burner, Colin drew her back into his arms.

  “I don’t do this kind of thing,” she said.

  “What? Make out over a hot stove?”

  “Make out anywhere.”

  “Why not? You’re good at it.”

  She laughed. “Stop.”

  “Do I have to?” he asked, kissing her again.

  “Colin.”

  “What?” he asked, his lips pressed to her neck.

  “Stop.”

  Something about the way she said the single word stopped him cold.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I’m just not very good at this.”

  “I thought we’d already covered that. You’re very good at it.” He kissed her cheek. “Why don’t we eat some of this feast you cooked? It smells wonderful.”

  “I hope you’re really hungry.”

  “I’m starving.”

  She’d made roast beef, seafood casserole, new potatoes, asparagus, salad, and fresh-baked bread.

  Colin ate until he couldn’t move. “That was fabulous. Thank you.”

  “I made too much,” she said, continuing to sip from her first glass of wine.

  “My mother still cooks for seven, even though it’s just the two of them now.”

  “She must’ve had to cook for an army when she had four boys at home.”

  “She did. We ate like horses, but she made us all learn how to cook so we wouldn’t be helpless.”

  Meredith smiled. “She sounds like quite a character.”

  Colin reached across the table for her hand. “She would like you.”

  Meredith looked away from him.

  He slid his chair closer to hers while keeping a firm grip on her hand. “So what are we going to do about this no-dating rule of yours?”

  Alarm marked her expression when her gaze whipped up to meet his.

  “Because I want to see you again.” He laced his fingers through hers. “Soon.”

  “I’m a bad risk, Colin.”

  The sadness he heard in her tone tugged at him. “I don’t think so.”

  She shook her head.

  “Do you like me, Meredith?” He pressed his lips to the inside of her wrist, where he could gauge her response by the flutter of her pulse.

  She nodded.

  “Then maybe we could see what happens?” When she didn’t answer, he continued. “I won’t hurt you. I’d never hurt you.”

  “I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”

  “Oh, I’m tough. I’ll take my chances.”

  He was startled when her eyes went shiny with tears. “You don’t understand,” she whispered.

  “Help me,” he pleaded. “Help me to understand why a beautiful, sweet, thoughtful young woman would have a no-dating rule, especially a woman who’s so passionate.”

  “I’m not passionate.”

  “Do I need to refresh your memory?” he asked, kissing her softly.

  She pulled away from him and stood up. “I can’t do this, Colin. I just can’t.”

  “You can’t or you won’t?”

  “Both.”

  Colin sighed and got up to retrieve his coat. “Dinner was great. Thank you.”

  “Colin…”

  He zipped his coat.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Running a hand over her soft hair, he kissed her cheek. “Not as sorry as I am. I think we could have something great here. You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

  She nodded.