by DC Renee
It was only after I pulled up to the Westshire that I started to understand just what he meant. My eyes glazed over with unshed tears. And then I saw my mom, Connie, Chandra, and Nora waiting for me in the lobby and tears started falling.
They whisked me away to a private room where a beauty team awaited to treat us all. I had never been pampered like that before. It was only after Chandra and Nora got dressed in the room that I realized they weren’t wearing the dresses I picked out, yet they were, just not recently. They were the same flowing satin material, an almost identical design, and a shade slightly off from the ones I had pictures of in my wedding scrapbook.
“I don’t understand,” I told them.
“I was instructed to give you this note if you had any questions,” Nora said as she handed me a piece of paper no bigger than a Post-it note. I recognized Enzo’s handwriting immediately as I read out loud. “A magician never tells his secrets.”
I smiled wide even though I still couldn’t figure out what was going on.
Nora’s phone dinged shortly after my hair and makeup were done. “Your presence is requested by your Prince Charming,” she said as she did a mock curtsy.
“He can’t see me before the wedding! It’s bad luck.”
“Renewal, P. I think it’s a little different. Besides, you’re not wearing your dress yet. We’ll save that for the ceremony.”
“Fine, where to?”
“We’ll take you there,” Chandra told me. “But you have to put this on first,” she said as she handed me a blindfold. Nora and Chandra led me out of the room, but I had no clue where we were going. It took a few minutes of trusting them not to lead me directly into a door before we stopped and Chandra told me I could take off the blindfold.
I did and immediately gasped. I covered my mouth with both hands as the tears gathered in my eyes. It was only for the distant awareness that I was in full makeup that held them at bay. It didn’t stop the silent sobs that rolled through me.
“It’s … it’s … I have no words. It’s magical. But how?” I was on the rooftop of the hotel overlooking the entire city. The sun hadn’t set yet, but I could imagine just how beautiful the twinkling lights of the buildings would look as a backdrop to our vow renewal. That wasn’t even the best part; the best was the scene before me. It was an exact replica of my ideal wedding straight from my scrapbook. A dusty ivory gazebo with calla lilies intertwined stood in the center of a circle of chairs so that everyone could see the bride and groom and the view from any angle. There were two aisles leading up to the raised platform of the gazebo with elegant calla lily bouquets to match the design in the center. There were Christmas lights strewn along the sides of the entire rooftop and on the backs of some of the chairs. And in the middle of it all stood Enzo, a mischievous smile playing on his lips, his gaze focused solely on me as I took everything in.
“This isn’t a simple ceremony,” I remarked as he started to walk toward me.
“No, but this is the ceremony you dreamed about.”
“I still don’t understand,” I told him when he was standing just before me.
“A magician never tells his secrets,” he repeated, “but this one vowed he’d never keep anything from you.”
As hard as I tried, a tear escaped my eyes. Enzo leaned in and kissed the stray drop. “No crying today, Paige.”
“They’re happy tears,” I told him as I dabbed my eye with the blindfold I was still clutching.
“I still hate to see you cry.”
“I know, but you still haven’t shared your secrets.”
“I told you that I would give you the life you deserved and the wedding of your dreams, didn’t I? Whatever you decided with the wedding planner wasn’t what your heart truly wanted. I couldn’t very well tell you that I was going to plan it all, so we let you believe you were getting what you described.”
“How did you know?” I interrupted and squeezed my eyes shut to prevent any more tears.
Enzo chuckled at my antics. “I had a lot of help from your friends and our families, but it was pretty easy to plan all this out with a play-by-play of exactly what you wanted.”
“My scrapbook!” I cried.
“Your mom found it some time ago and gave it to me, told me to hold it dear, and I did. This is what you wanted, right?” he asked, suddenly sounding nervous.
“It’s everything and more. But Enzo, I would have been happy at City Hall.”
“I know, but I wanted to give you what you’ve dreamed of since you were a little girl. I hope I got it all right.”
“Well, I guess we’ll have to wait until I see the ballroom just to make sure,” I teased.
“I promise I followed your instructions there too,” he told me seriously.
“I’m kidding, Enzo. We could renew our vows in a rowboat in the middle of the ocean and I’d still be the happiest person to ever exist. I am so lucky to have you.” I threw myself into his arms and hugged him fiercely before pressing my lips against his with such fervor that he actually took a step back.
“I’m the lucky one, Paige, and in a few hours when you tell me ‘I do’ and mean it this time, I’ll have won the jackpot. I love you more than you could ever understand. This,” he motioned with his hand, “is what I can give you, but if I could, I’d give you the world so you know just how much you mean to me because, Paige, you are my world.”
Our lips met again and it wasn’t until I heard someone clear their throat that I realized I had forgotten Nora and Chandra were still on the roof with us. “I hate to break up the party,” Nora said, “but we have to finish getting your girl ready so you can make an honest woman of her.”
“She is an honest woman.” Enzo laughed.
“Semantics,” Chandra added.
I gave Enzo a quick peck before I headed back down and continued getting ready.
“Thank you,” I told Gerry as he took in my appearance.
“I never told you this, but I’m thankful to have a daughter-in-law like you.”
“I’m thankful to have a father-in-law like you. I owe you a lot.” I meant it. Forgiving Gerry had actually been harder than forgiving my own parents. I think it was because the more I learned about Enzo as he shared his childhood with me after we had got back together, the more I hated what a horrible father Gerry had been. Enzo had forgiven him and my dad almost instantly, especially after Gerry helped in Enzo’s successful attempt to win me back, but it took me a little longer. It was only after I witnessed Gerry’s softer side toward Enzo when Enzo started working for him about a month after his second proposal that I started warming up toward him. And then came our beautiful baby, and Gerry literally changed overnight. He might have been a shitty father, but he was meant to be a grandfather. Being a grandfather actually suited him, and anyone who was that great with my kid was all right in my book. We never talked about things, we never had it out with each other, and I never mentioned his role in my life. It was just a gradual transition from me not being so nice to Gerry to welcoming him whenever I saw him.
“I don’t know if you remember this,” Gerry started, “but a little girl once walked up to me, bold and confident and said, ‘I’m going to marry your son one day.’”
“Oh, my God, I remember that.” I was maybe five or six when I had been crying because I scraped my knee, and Enzo walked up to me and kissed my knee.
“My mom does that to my boo-boos,” he’d told me with a shrug and then walked away. I was smitten. I stopped crying and marched up to Gerry and told him I was going to marry Enzo. I had forgotten all about that until now.
“Do you remember what I said?” he asked.
“No.”
“We’ll make it happen.” He smiled wryly. “I kept my promise, Paige.”
I was torn between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry. “Yeah … yeah, I guess you did.”
He hugged me, and I froze in shock for a minute. We were on good terms, but he’d never shown affection. It took a minute, but I wrapped my arms around h
im.
“Thank you, Gerry. Thank you for your unconventional methods and good heart.”
“It was my pleasure.”
We were interrupted by a knock on the door and my dad poking his head in.
“I’ll leave you two,” Gerry said as he quietly left the room.
“You’re beautiful, Paige,” my dad said as he enveloped me in a hug.
I had forgiven my dad surprisingly quickly. After Enzo had told me everything he knew about our fathers’ decision, I wasn’t upset with my mom. She hadn’t been involved in the scheme, and I couldn’t fault her for not wanting to tell me the truth when she finally found out. My dad, on the other hand – I couldn’t fathom why or how he could do something like that to me. I refused to speak to him for a few weeks, even with my mother’s wishes to listen to him. It was only after Enzo pointed out that if I hadn’t given him the chance to explain things, we wouldn’t be together that I finally caved.
I met my dad at my parents’ place so we could discuss the situation privately.
“I’m so sorry, Paige,” he started after we sat down in the living room.
“Are you really?” I asked.
“You want honesty?”
“Yeah, Dad, I do.”
“Then I’m sorry for the way you found out and that you were hurt, but I’m not sorry I did it.”
“I knew this was a bad idea,” I mumbled as I started to get up to leave, not wanting to hear any more.
“Please, Paige, just listen.” It reminded me so much of Enzo’s plea for me to listen that I couldn’t leave without hearing more, so I sat back down and nodded. “All your life, you looked up to Nora and tried to be her. I know you did that because you felt Nora was the shining star of the family and you were looking for attention from us. I’m sorry we never made you feel special and I’m sorry we weren’t there for you the way you needed us to be. Your mother and I, we don’t have any valid excuses for making you feel lesser than what you are. All I can say is that it wasn’t for lack of love or because we didn’t believe in you. You are special, Paige, always have been.” I had been stoic when I arrived, determined to stay angry with my father, but I was furiously wiping the tears streaming down my cheeks.
“Then why didn’t you ever tell me that?” I cried.
“At first, I didn’t think you needed to be told. We babied Nora because she was the kind of child who needed the praise to succeed. You seemed to do just fine without it. Maybe we weren’t ready to be parents or maybe we just weren't good at it, I don’t know, but we didn’t see it at first. It wasn’t until you were older that I finally realized what you were doing. You weren’t pushing yourself to be better for you; you were pushing yourself to be better for us. I didn’t know how to approach you then. I spent the better part of your life treating you one way, so I didn’t know how to change that overnight.”
“I needed your love and approval all my life!” I told him. The pain, sadness, anger, relief, even slight joy at knowing my parents hadn’t truly cast me aside, were threatening to overtake my heart.
“You’ve always had it. I just didn’t know how to show you.”
“Then how could you mess with my life like that?”
“You were growing up way too quickly and you were about to go off to college. I didn’t know what to do. I panicked. You had been the perfect child, the perfect teenager. I was afraid that once you had a taste of some freedom, you’d either go wild or shut down even more. I didn’t want either to happen. Neither did your mother; she was so worried about you, too.”
“You could have just told me.”
“We didn’t know how,” he admitted softly as if ashamed. “I was also concerned about who you’d end up with. I know you had planned some fairy-tale life as your escape. I didn’t want you to find a man who fit a checklist and stay with him because you thought you couldn’t get better.”
“That wouldn’t have happened.”
“You’re right. It might not have happened, but like I said, I panicked. My irrational fears didn’t seem so irrational then. I was expressing my concerns to Gerry, who had some worries of his own. Enzo grew up differently than you, but with regards to his insecurities and his family life, he would understand what you went through. He’d be not just a husband, but also a partner. I knew he was going through a rough patch, but I had known that boy all his life. He wasn’t a bad guy. Underneath his hard exterior, he had a wonderful soul. I knew at the very least he could show you a world you wouldn’t open for yourself.”
“He did,” I whispered quietly, hating that everything my father was saying was so true. I scrubbed at my face, willing the tears to stop, but they seemed to have a mind of their own.
“I know … I know. I’m sorry for the way I had to go about it, but you’re happier than you’ve ever been. You’re still fulfilling your dreams. You’re still working hard, and now, you have a family to support you while you do that. So I’m sorry if this isn’t what you want to hear, Paige, but am I sorry I did it? No. If that makes you hate me for the rest of my life, then so be it. As long as you’re happy. If I got to see you smile the way you do with Enzo, I’d do it a thousand times over. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but that’s the truth. Your happiness means more to me than your hatred of me.” I looked into his eyes, seeing the sincerity there as tears spilled over, matching my own expression.
He truly meant everything he said; he really believed it all. How could I hate him for that? How could I hate him for doing what he thought would ensure my happiness?
I was across the small space and hugging my dad before I could even realize what I was doing. “I don’t hate you, Daddy. I don’t hate you.” I heard him sobbing as he clutched me, his shoulders sagging with relief.
“I love you so much, Paige. I’m sorry you never felt that way, but I’ve always loved you, baby girl.”
“I love you, too.”
“Thanks, Daddy,” I whispered into his shoulder as he hugged me loosely, his body trying to maneuver around my wedding dress.
“I think I like this look much better.” He chuckled as we pulled away. I knew he was referring to the wedding five years before.
“Me too.” I smiled. “I hope Enzo does.”
“Enzo would be okay marrying you in a potato sack as long as you walked down the aisle toward him.” My dad spoke the truth. The past seven months had been indescribable and had flown by too quickly. But in that time, my love for Enzo grew tenfold and I was never more sure of his love for me. We spent the first month catching up on lost time, staying in and just enjoying time together. Of course, that included some “Oh, Enzo.” Oh, who was I kidding, it included a lot of “Oh, Enzo.” We also told each other more stories about ourselves than I can even count. I learned all about Enzo’s childhood, and he learned about mine. Some stories were better than others were, but I definitely felt like we understood each other more after that.
The rest of the time was spent in a bliss like I never thought I’d experience. We were dating in a sense, the new relationship phase, but we were already comfortable with each other like people who had been married for over four years. We went on typical dates, we had romantic dinners together, we had quick takeout together, and we got together with our families and with our friends. I finally “met” Enzo’s friends. Enzo spent the entire time practically growling at them and telling them to keep their hands off me and their flirting to themselves. He even made me go to the bathroom with him when he needed to go just so I wouldn’t be left alone “with those animals.” After that initial meeting, though, they were perfect gentlemen, which had me realizing they were just ribbing him the first time.
Of course, a major part of the time was spent preparing for the baby, from doctor’s appointments to turning a room into a nursery to the baby shower our moms, Nora, and Chandra planned for me to the actual delivery. Then after our precious baby was born, there was barely any sleep but neither Enzo nor I would have it any other way.
“There’
s Mommy,” my mom walked into the suite holding my beautiful baby boy.
Enzo had taken him earlier that morning and dropped him off with Gerry so all the women could get ready. Since then, all the grandparents had taken turns watching him while I got ready for my big moment.
“Did you miss me?” I asked as I took him from my mom’s arms.
“Paige, no, he’ll spit up and ruin your dress.”
“No, he won’t. Will you, little guy?” I asked.
The day Enzo Junior, whom we call EJ, was born was the happiest day of my life. Don’t get me wrong, my renewal wedding day was a very, very close second, but it was still second to the day EJ came into our lives.
When we found out we were having a boy, Enzo did some kind of weird laugh-cry thing. “I’d be happy with a girl, too,” he’d told me, “but I’m so thankful I don’t have to worry about beating off little shits like me when she gets older.”
“Don’t get excited yet, baby number two might be a girl,” I teased.
“If you’re willing to have more kids with me after this one, they can all be girls.” He grinned and kissed me. “And I want as many as you’ll give me.”
“Let’s get through this pregnancy first.”
When I told Enzo I wanted to name our kid after him, he was hesitant. “I’m not the greatest guy. Not sure if I deserve that kind of honor.”
“You’re the best guy I know, Enzo. It will be our boy’s honor to be named after you.”
He still wasn’t convinced, but I wore him down. EJ was born two weeks early and came in the middle of the night. “Enzo.” I’d shook him lightly, but he didn’t stir. “Enzo, my water just broke,” I’d told him and he shot right up.
“Okay, don’t panic. I’ll get the car, and we’ll head to the hospital.” He’d started running around the room, throwing clothes on and grabbing the bag I had prepared as he rushed out the door. He’d looked like a chicken with his head cut off, and I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped my lips. He came back into the room as I finished getting dressed and tried to lead me out to the car. I stood firmly, though.
