An Interrupted Marriage (Silhouette Special Edition)

by Bright, Laurey;

  Jade quickly brushed her hair and got into bed, picking up a book that she’d brought with her from downstairs. It was silly to be nervous, she told herself. For the past week she’d been sharing a bed—as well as several more unconventional venues—with Magnus. Just because this was the first time since her homecoming they’d been together in this bed—the one they’d slept in and loved each other in for scarcely a year—there was no reason for her to be feeling like a new bride again.

  Even then, her bridal jitters had been faintly ridiculous. It wasn’t as though they’d never slept together before. Jade had been sharing a flat then with Lida Farrell, but Magnus lived alone. After she’d spent the night at his place several times Lida had guessed, of course, that there was a man involved, but to her chagrin Jade had refused to satisfy her curiosity as to who he was.

  Then had come the shock of Mrs. Riordan’s stroke and her emergency admission to hospital. Magnus had rushed to the hospital, then home to Waititapu and his younger brothers and sister. When he returned to the office he said to Jade, “I’m going to have to move to Waititapu for a while.”

  “Your business—”

  “I’ll commute. I can’t leave the youngsters to cope entirely on their own. I can at least be there at nights and weekends. I don’t know yet how bad my mother’s condition is, whether she’ll be able to return home. If she does, she’ll probably need nursing care for some time, if not forever—and my father’s will is still awaiting probate. The lawyers are dragging their feet. I suppose the farm accounts need sorting out. Dad was never good at the paperwork, and he was too proud and stubborn to let me help. Until that’s finalised I can’t make any arrangements about the farms, or anything else.” He passed a harried hand over his hair, closing his eyes for a moment.

  Instinctively, Jade had moved closer to him, slipping her arms about him. “I’m sorry, Magnus. You know I’ll do anything I can—”

  “Thank you. I must go back to the hospital this afternoon, and hope the doctors can tell me something more specific. Once I’ve cleared some of this backlog, can you hold the fort a bit longer?”

  Of course she could, and she had.

  The patterns of Magnus’s life shifted. Each evening he left the office at five and made the long drive to Waititapu. There were no more leisurely dinners followed by a nightcap at his flat and the inevitable slow, sweet lovemaking afterwards. One day he looked up from his desk as Jade came in carrying a pile of folders, and said, “I can’t stand this. Will you come home with me at lunch-time, Jade—to the flat?”

  They left the office together at twelve, drove to his place and tumbled straight into bed. Afterwards they had to scramble into their clothes and hurry back, and she was sure that the receptionist was smirking behind her desk as they entered the building again, knew that the flush of passion hadn’t yet had time to fade from her cheeks, the soft lustre of fulfilled desire from her eyes.

  She’d been distracted for the rest of the day, unable to concentrate, fumbling with her work.

  At five, Magnus had thrown some papers into his briefcase and stood up, grabbed his jacket from its hook behind the door, and then turned to look at her.

  She looked back at him, and something in his face changed. He came over to her desk, and put down the briefcase, dropping his jacket on top of it. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m a selfish, unthinking swine. I shouldn’t have asked you to do that, at lunch-time.”

  “You know I wanted you, too.”

  “Oh, sure, you...enjoyed it, in a way. But it felt wrong, didn’t it? A bit sordid, in fact.”

  Jade looked down at her electronic typewriter. He was right. She did feel as though something wonderful and shining had become slightly soiled. “It can’t be helped,” she muttered. “I know you don’t have time for me, with your family and...everything. There isn’t much we can do about that.”

  “There is something,” Magnus said. “You could marry me, and come to live at Waititapu with me. We’ll be together at night, as well as during the day. When my father’s will is probated and we know what the prognosis is with my mother—and I’ve sorted out what to do about the farms, the children and everything—we’ll be able to move back to Auckland. But right now I don’t know when that will be, and...I need you, Jade! You’re too good for a hole-and-corner office affair. I want you to be my wife.”

  Of course she’d said yes, and they’d been quickly and quietly married with only his business partners, his brothers and Danella, and Jade’s erstwhile flatmate and another friend as witnesses.

  She’d bought herself a special frock for the occasion, and indulged in a trousseau of lovely undies and nightwear. That was before Magnus had discovered that his father’s business affairs were not only in a muddle, but that somehow he had managed to run the family farms into debt. Before the hospital discharged his mother, still needing a good deal of physical care. Before Magnus had returned grim-faced from a visit to the lawyers and said to Jade, “I can’t see getting Waititapu back on its feet in under four or five years. The only alternative is to sell up.”

  It would have been another major blow for Mrs. Riordan, and an upheaval for Andrew and the older children, coming right after their father’s death and the shock of their mother’s stroke. It was Jade who had suggested that if Magnus hired another secretary, she could look after Mrs. Riordan, take care of the house and supervise the twins and twelve-year-old Andrew, while Magnus continued to commute to Auckland.

  “I can’t ask you—” he’d protested. But she saw the faint light of hope in his eyes.

  “You haven’t asked me,” she’d told him. “I volunteered. It’s the sensible solution.”

  “It’s only for a while,” he’d said, giving in. “And Jade—I’m really grateful.”

  * * *

  Magnus came out of the bathroom, interrupting her memories. She looked over at him, his hair damp and tousled, his chest bare above a towel wrapped about his waist. He didn’t smile at her, his eyes lingering on her with a disturbingly remote expression in them.

  For some reason Jade recalled Mrs. Riordan’s words. He married you because he needed someone to give him practical help...

  For a moment she contemplated asking him if it was true. But of course it wasn’t! He hadn’t known until after the wedding that there wasn’t any money to provide nursing for Mrs. Riordan, or hire household help. Had he?

  Needing physical contact to disperse her thoughts, she held out her hand to him and murmured his name. He hesitated for a second, then crossed to the bed. “What do you want, Jade?” he asked, his fingers enclosing hers.

  She tried to smile, feeling the blood rise in her cheeks. “You know what I want,” she said.

  He was looking at her now with a dark, brooding intensity. His gaze slipped from her face to the thin nightgown that barely covered her shoulders, and dipped low between her breasts. “I think I can guess.”

  He leaned forward and touched his lips to the tender swell above the neckline of the nightdress. “This?” he murmured, and raised his head to look into her eyes. “Or—this?” His lips grazed her cheek, settled on her mouth, then wandered down her throat, and his hands caressed her. “This?” His voice was deep, his hands growing bolder. Her breathing quickened, her eyelashes flickering over her eyes.

  He settled on the bed beside her and pulled her closer to him. “Tell me, Jade,” he commanded. “Tell me what you want.”

  * * *

  A long time later he finally parted from her, rolling onto his back in the darkness, his breathing gradually steadying.

  Jade, her body bathed in a warm, pleasurable lethargy, turned to him, nuzzling her cheek against his shoulder. “Now,” she said quietly, “I really feel as though we’re married again.”

  “Again?”

  “I mean—being on holiday isn’t the same, is it? It was like a second honeymoon, as Ginette said. Here—back in our own room, our own bed—this is reality.”

  “A letdown?”

  �
��No! Not a letdown at all. It was wonderful.”

  He turned his head, his eyes gleaming in the darkness. “I’m glad,” he said, “that I give satisfaction.”

  She gave a small laugh. “You always did.”

  Magnus made a sudden movement, surprising her so that she lifted her head. “Then why—?”

  “Why—what?” she queried.

  “Nothing. Never mind.” But he shifted away from her a little, raising an arm to prop his head.

  She thought she knew. Surely he must realise that when they were first wed, lovemaking, however satisfactory, hadn’t been enough to release the various tensions that had assailed her, trying to fit into his family and care for all their disparate and sometimes conflicting needs? “I felt—isolated,” she said. “Especially when you weren’t here. You were away a lot.”

  “Danella—”

  “I know. You had to find her. In a way it should have been easier without her here—when she first left I’d have been relieved not to have to deal with her hostility any more, if I hadn’t been so worried and felt so guilty.”

  “About Danella? You had no cause—”

  “I had told you I’d look after the children. I never succeeded with her. She just hated me.” And had been savvy enough, after a clash or two with Magnus over her bad manners, to hide much of her antagonism when he was home. Jade had felt quite unable to carry tales about her to Magnus, who in any case had enough worries without being asked continually to mediate between his wife and his sister.

  He said, “I don’t think she hated you.”

  Jade gave a small laugh. “She thought she did. I thought so, too. And the fact that Laurence tended to stick up for me only made it worse. It must have been hard for her—even her twin seemed to be deserting her, emotionally.”

  “He did have a bit of a crush on you. At the time I thought it was rather funny.”

  “Not to Danella.” In many ways Laurence, the only member of the family who had reacted positively to her presence, had made everything even more difficult. Jade dared not encourage him, for Danella’s sake and his own, and yet she didn’t want to hurt his youthful feelings, either. It had been akin to walking on eggshells.

  “She is rather possessive,” Magnus said.

  “Yes, she admitted as much to me, during this last visit.”

  “Something that runs in the family, I’m afraid.” His voice sounded clipped. “So be warned.”

  “Warned?” A shiver of apprehension ran up her spine.

  “We agreed to bury the past, to go on with our marriage, looking forward instead of back. That’s what last week was all about. This time, I don’t expect to be leaving you to care for my family while I’m off somewhere—at work or hunting for my sister. And I expect you to keep to your side of the bargain. I need to know I can trust you, Jade. That I have your absolute fidelity.”

  “Of course you can trust me!” Jade said. “There’s no question about that!”

  “Isn’t there?” He snaked out a hand suddenly and snagged it into her hair, bringing her closer. “None?” he queried softly.

  “None!” She was indignant, and hurt that he could think otherwise. “You’re my husband, Magnus—the only man I’ve ever loved.”

  His hand tightened, tugging at the roots of her hair until they hurt. He said harshly, “I’m not asking you to lie to me!”

  “I’m not lying—you know I’m not!” He hadn’t been unaware, the first time they made love, of her virginity. The inevitable discovery had even shocked him a little.

  “Sometimes I think I don’t know anything about you.” He searched her face, his eyes stone-hard, even in the semi-darkness. “You’re not trying to tell me that Patrick is one of the things you’ve forgotten?”

  “Patrick?” She was lost, bewildered.

  “Patrick,” he said, as though the name left a bad taste in his mouth. And then, the words seemingly forced from him almost against his will, he added, “Your lover!”

  Chapter Eleven

  He let her go as though he suddenly couldn’t bear to touch her, but Jade stayed as she was, staring down at him where he was propped on the pillow, her mind in turmoil. “My...lover?? she repeated stupidly.

  He went on, “It’s no good. I find I just can’t pretend it never happened. I need to get it out in the open, even if you prefer to sweep it under the carpet.?

  Finding her voice at last, Jade said, “It didn’t happen! Magnus, I’ve never had a lover—except you!?

  Magnus leaned over and switched on the bedside light, making her blink. He turned and eyed her narrowly. “You never slept with Patrick??

  “I don’t even know who he is!? Even as she said it her voice faltered, for in her mind’s eye a man’s face floated momentarily into view. Quite good-looking, with gold-rimmed glasses, and brown hair falling over his forehead, blue eyes looking into hers with an alert, sympathetic gaze.

  Then it was gone, replaced by Magnus’s darker, accusing eyes, his shadowed, gaunt-boned face. “It’s a bit late to deny it now,? he said. “This isn’t really the first time since you came back that the subject has come up, is it??

  “I don’t...understand. I don’t recall discussing anything like this before.? She swallowed a moment’s panic. Could they have had conversations that she’d forgotten? Was she still sick after all? Was this unbelievable discussion a delusion? She put out a hand to touch Magnus, to reassure herself that he was real, solid—and here.

  He was there, his skin warm and taut over bone and muscle. Automatically she ran her hand down his arm, and felt him flinch. Her hand dropped.

  He said with weary cynicism, “Oh, we’ve avoided naming names, skirted round it all very carefully—being civilised. Pretending we weren’t really mentioning it at all.?

  “We weren’t!? Jade cried. “I wasn’t! Whatever you’ve been doing—Magnus, I don’t know what you’re talking about!“

  He made an impatient gesture, then went very still, staring at her suspiciously. Slowly, almost unwillingly, he said, “There were times when I wondered if you’d genuinely forgotten, when you seemed to act as though nothing had happened.?

  “Nothing had! Not the sort of thing you’re suggesting.? She willed him to believe her. “Whatever you think we’ve been discussing, it wasn’t that!? Although, she realised, it explained some of the puzzling aspects of his behaviour that she’d put down to other things. His occasional cruel remarks, the barely suppressed ferocity that had disturbed her, that had even sometimes been latent in his lovemaking. “I knew you were deep-down angry,? she conceded. “I thought it was an instinctive reaction to my being ill for so long, and maybe to your own guilt because you felt partly responsible.?

  “I am not angry with you for getting sick!“

  “Perhaps not consciously, but—?

  “That isn’t the issue here!? He denied it violently. “Are you really saying that you didn’t realise I knew about Patrick??

  Growing angry herself, she raised her voice, trying to get through to him. “No, that’s not what I’m saying! I’m saying I don’t know anything about any such person, so I could hardly have known that you did, could I??

  Magnus made an exasperated sound, and threw back the covers, getting out of the bed. He pulled a robe around himself, belting it with swift, almost vicious movements, then strode to the window and turned, a powerful silhouette against the night sky, a hand thrusting through his hair. “Why do you think I offered you a divorce?? he demanded. “Oh, I know he left you, and that was what finally sent you over the brink—quite literally—?

  “He—left me?? Dazedly, she put a hand to her head. “Magnus, none of this is making any sense. I thought you wanted a divorce—?

  “I made it clear it was your choice,? he reminded her.

  “I thought you were being gallant—?

  “Gallant??

  “You knew I’d been unhappy here. I thought you were hoping that I’d want to be free of Waititapu—even of you. You didn’t want to callously re
ject me outright. So you gave me the choice, hoping I’d take it. Even though you said there wasn’t anyone else, I couldn’t help wondering if you had someone in mind, or you...just didn’t want to be tied to someone like me.?

  “Someone like you??

  “Someone who’s had a mental breakdown.?

  “For God’s sake, what do you think I am??

  She dropped her hand and looked at him again. “What do you think I am?? she said. “That’s rather more to the point, isn’t it? Is this what you meant when you talked about my failures? And—? her eyes widened “—forgiveness??

  He shrugged. “What else??

  “Magnus, I felt I’d failed you in so many ways—your sister loathed me and I hadn’t been able to prevent her going on drugs, and then running away. Laurence liked me a little too much, and that only complicated things. Your mother barely tolerated me. Andrew didn’t seem to need me except to feed him, although as the youngest he probably felt the loss of his father the most—?

  “He coped in his own way. You did as much as you could—for all of us. I know that.?

  “—I never seemed able to keep the house the way your mother was accustomed to—?

  “No one expected you to, on top of everything else!?

  “She did.? Mrs. Riordan had never really complained, only made it clear that she was fretting about her standards not being adhered to, although allowing that she knew Jade was doing her best....

  “If you’d told me—?

  “You had enough on your plate without a complaining wife adding to it.?

  “So you complained to Patrick instead,? he said flatly.

  They were back to that. Jade fell silent, totally baffled. “Whoever he is,? she said carefully, “he was not my lover. I swear to you, Magnus—?

  “You say you don’t remember him!?

  “I don’t remember anyone called Patrick.? Another flicker of memory came and went in a flash. Herself walking into a room, a man rising from a chair. The name, Patrick, hung in the air.