by Starla Kaye
Elizabeth watched him, appeared to give him a look of warning.
“Why do you keep doing that this morn? Have I yet harmed anyone? Have I even yelled at anyone?” he asked in disgruntlement.
He faced Gloriana again. “I wish to talk to you about Thomas and Rowan.”
She stiffened and lowered the hairbrush, holding it tightly. “Elizabeth has already told us that you know they are lovers. It is not for you to judge them. They are good men, respected warriors, loyal to the king.”
The side of his mouth twitched. “You are as fiercely loyal to them as they are to each other. And to you.”
She blinked at him. “You have spoken to them? This morn?”
“Aye. Separately. Each demanded to talk with me. In truth, it has been a long time since anyone has shown me such loyalty. I cannot help but respect them.”
He moved to stand beside his wife. “Tis a complicated situation you are part of, Lady Middlemound.”
Gloriana nodded and gave a small sigh. “Aye. Loving two strong-headed men can be quite a…” She slammed her mouth shut and gaped at them. Elizabeth smiled and Abernon nodded. “As I said, my lady, a complicated situation. More than I would choose to deal with. Although it still surprises me, I do not have an issue with it.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. Then her thoughts turned to Thomas and James. “You will try to keep James from coming with us? Because of…”
He shook his head. “Nay. My reason for being wary of letting Thomas take James was because the boy is not his true son. I did not want the boy hurt more than he has already been.”
“Not his ‘true son’?” Gloriana looked from Gavin to Elizabeth. “I do not understand.”
Elizabeth put a hand to her husband’s leg and said, “Let me explain.” She met Gloriana’s eyes and seemed to study her for a few seconds. “When my brother was away from Montrose, Sarah took other men to her bed. One man in particular. Thomas knew this and yet did not attempt to stop her. He simply did not care.”
Gloriana knew he hadn’t loved Sarah, and she clearly hadn’t loved him. But to hurt him like that. She curled her hand around the brush in anger. “So James is the other man’s son?”
Abernon took over, his mouth tight in displeasure. “Aye. You need not know all that happened, just that the other man is dead. He was never in James’s life, never wanted to be.”
“Poor James. Poor Thomas,” Gloriana said quietly, her heart aching for them both. “My brother claimed James from the second of his birth. It has never mattered to him whose seed he was born of.” Elizabeth wiped at a tear. “Thomas can be a fearsome man at times, but he cares deeply about many things. He did not know what to do with a babe. He was a warrior. Without a wife and a real home, he believed he had nothing to offer his son. So he gave him to Gavin and me to raise until he was ready to act the father. It was never that he wished to deny the boy, or not love him.” Gloriana thought about the sadness she saw in her husband’s eyes at times. The longing she saw in them as well when he talked about James. She looked at Elizabeth. “He believes he has failed as a father until now. He needs to see if he can be one. That is why…”
Elizabeth frowned. “Why what?”
“Why he has been refusing to give me a babe,” Gloriana admitted and the last of her anger with him faded away. Somehow they would get through all of this. She would help him be the father he wanted to be.
“God’s teeth, I shall have to box his ears when he returns.” Elizabeth pursed her lips, looking furious.
“When he returns?” Gloriana asked, worry curling through her. “He went to get James, didn’t he? Alone, I suppose.”
“He took two of his men when he rode out just after dawn,” Abernon countered. “When Rowan and I finished talking a short while ago, he went after your husband. He felt some kind of urgency to catch up with him. Rowan muttered something about a bad feeling as he left the solar.”
Her stomach clenched. Rowan had a bad feeling? About Thomas? Oh, dear God! She was about to question Abernon further when footsteps pounded up the stairs. She tensed, waiting.
One of Thomas’s men hurried into the open doorway and looked anxiously at her. He barely glanced at Abernon and Elizabeth. His expression warned her of something bad.
“Thomas?” she questioned in dread. The man shook his head.
“Nay, my lady, it is Sir Rowan.” He drew in a breath as if deciding what to say to her. Gloriana dropped the hairbrush, took a step toward him. Her voice trembled with fear as she asked, “What? What about Rowan?” “He has been badly hurt. You must come quickly.”
Chapter Ten
Gloriana raced out of the keep, heart pounding, tears misting her eyes. She blinked them away and looked to the paddock where Thomas’s men ringed the first of the three paddocks. Tension sizzled in the air. She could almost smell their anger, their outrage. Many had their hands on the hilts of their swords. Others held sharp and deadly knives. Gavin’s men stood looking equally hostile, just as heavily armed only a few feet away. She heard fierce curses and bitter grumblings, but at least for the moment they were not attacking one another. She cared for none of this. Her sole focus was to get to Rowan.
“My lady, wait,” the soldier who had come to tell her the news called to her, desperate.
“Nay!” She moved faster, determined he not stop her. She heard Gavin’s heavy steps behind the soldier, growing closer as well. And Elizabeth’s lighter steps, too. But she would not be kept from getting to Rowan.
She shoved between Gavin’s men. Though one dared to grab her arm to stop her, she glowered up at him in such fury that he released her and stepped out of her path. Thomas’s men saw her coming, saw her determination, and moved aside to allow her into the paddock. As she passed between them, she caught the angered comments about how some of Gavin’s soldiers had been lying in wait for Rowan. How they’d attacked him. She also heard praise for how he’d been outnumbered, without weapons, and yet had fought fiercely. Her heart raced with dread and tears threatened once more. Dear God, why had this happened? Gloriana looked into the dimly lit area, searching frantically for Rowan. Three dead men lay in the bloody straw, blood draining from numerous knife wounds. She gaped, held her stomach, nearly gagged but fought it back. These men had died hard, but she had no sympathy for them.
She swallowed hard. Blood, blood, blood. It seemed to be everywhere. She smelled the sickening sweet scent and her stomach threatened to heave again. She could not give in to weakness! Where was Rowan?
Then she heard a low moan not far away. Her heart pounded. Please, please let me be in time to save him.
She spotted him lying at the back wall, braced against it, an arm crossed over his ribs. He breathed slowly in and out. He seemed to moan more with each breath. She ached for him, with him.
As she approached him, Rowan raised a bloodied knife in defense. But when he recognized her, his gaze settled on her through the slit of one of his swollen eyes. He lowered the knife. A shudder of relief passed over him. “Glori.” It was all he could manage to say before grimacing.
Before either of them could draw in another breath, Gloriana was on her knees in the straw beside him. She noted his many bloody wounds, and saw the tender way he held his ribs. Tears streamed down her cheeks. His dear face had been beaten so badly. His nose had bled profusely, looked slightly bent and was no doubt broken. A knife slash ran down the left side of his face and seeped blood. The slash had barely missed his eye, though fists had pounded that eye and the other one. His lips were swollen as well, cracked on one side and bleeding. It hurt her to even look at him.
Blinking back tears, she tried to look around where he held tight to his obviously bruised, possibly broken ribs. A long slash cut his tunic on the left side and blood soaked through from the wound. Another slash ran at an angle over his right thigh, blood seeping out there as well through his now dirty braies. He’d been mercilessly beaten and forced to defend himself in a knife battle. He could have died, but he was a
fierce fighter. He would never die easily. She thanked God for that.
“Oh, Rowan,” she said in a tortured whisper. She reached to gently touch the side of his battered face. “Why would someone…”
Her question was cut off when Gavin stormed up behind her, Elizabeth, too. Gavin swore at what he saw and Gloriana felt his fury, though it didn’t come close to matching her own.
Rowan stiffened in distress, groaning, tried to focus on her and Gavin. “They…were waiting…for me,” he said in between ragged breaths. “were doing…Gavin’s bidding.”
Gloriana immediately turned a murderous look at Gavin. “Is this true, Lord Abernon?”
Before he could defend himself, Rowan grunted out, “Not believe them.”
He sucked in a pain-filled breath. “I killed one.” Another pained breath. “Gavin’s first knight…came to…help me.” He closed his eyes and grimaced. “He killed…the other two.”
Gloriana saw Gavin curl his hands into fists. “I would never condone this kind of attack. If those men were not already dead, I would hang them this day.”
Even though it was clear any kind of movement cost him, Rowan gave a weak nod. “Good man. Your first knight, too.” “We need to get you inside,” Gloriana said, desperate to begin tending to his wounds. Yet she knew moving him in any manner now would hurt him.
“Nay. Leave here,” Rowan said grimly. “Today.” He tried to move only to fall back cursing. “Cannot endanger…you…Thomas.”
“You are safe here, Sir Rowan,” Gavin bit out. “I will kill with my own hand any who would dare to try something like this again.”
Elizabeth put a gentle hand on his arm, but her husband didn’t calm down. Gloriana could tell that this attack had made him far beyond angry. A guest in his home had been beaten. If he hadn’t been a seasoned warrior, Rowan would have been killed. She understood his fury, felt it herself.
Her focus returned to Rowan. Gloriana knew without further explanations that he’d been attacked by men who hated the idea of him being a lover of men. His emotional suffering would be great, too, from this. She wanted to pull him against her chest and coddle him like a child who had been injured. She wanted to soothe his many aches and pains. But he was a man, a hardened warrior. His pride ran deeper than that of most men. He would only allow so much soothing and tender ministrations. She would give him all that he would allow.
“Cannot stay,” Rowan repeated, struggling for breath.
Everything in her wanted to scream out in outrage. But this was not the time for losing control. He needed her to be strong now. She looked up to Elizabeth. “Have water, ale, rags, and medicinals brought to me. I will clean and wrap his wounds as best I can here.”
Then she shifted her gaze to Gavin. “I would ask to have a wagon prepared that I can borrow and in which I can take Rowan to Montrose.”
“He can heal here. He will be safe here,” Gavin protested, although he didn’t sound angry at her request.
“You must…stay here…wait for Thomas.” Rowan looked anxiously at her, or as best he could with such a battered face. “He expects…”
She raised her chin and refused to back down. “He expected you to stay here while he went to get James, wanted you to watch after me. I know this. I know his thinking. If he knew you had been hurt, he would expect me to care for you. I know this as well.” “Why can you not tend to his wounds here? Let Sir Rowan heal here?” Elizabeth asked, sounding worried. “Thomas’s own men can guard his chamber.”
“Because he wishes to leave.” Gloriana sensed Rowan needed to be away from here. He no doubt worried that no matter how much Gavin said nothing like this would happen again, it could. Or that someone would harm her. And he wasn’t in a condition to defend himself and certainly not her. She would do whatever necessary to give him some peace of mind. “We will leave as soon as the wagon is ready and I have cleansed these wounds.” Gavin nodded in understanding, gave her a tight smile. “Thomas has found himself a stubborn woman, like my Elizabeth. You will do well together.” His gaze shifted to Rowan. “All of you will.”
***
The trip to Alexander Campbell’s castle hadn’t been an easy one. Thomas’s body had still been healing, but he’d been too restless to take any longer to go after James. And he’d been ready to get all of this matter behind him. Now that Gavin apparently backed him, Thomas felt more confident that he could, in fact, be a good father to James. He didn’t care about whether or not the boy was from his loins. The boy needed to know he was loved, know that there would always be someone there for him. Of course, Gavin and Elizabeth would fill that role if needed, but it wasn’t the same. James needed a father. Thomas wanted to be that father.
He glanced over at the boy riding stoically on the horse next to him. The initial meeting between them two days earlier hadn’t gone well. James had not wanted to come with him, had not wanted to go anywhere with him. Ever. “You do not really want me. You never have.” The boy’s words had been spoken bitterly, and Thomas had felt the pain behind them. Yet somehow, at some point, Thomas had managed to say something that had gotten through James’s defenses. He still wasn’t sure what he’d said. He was only grateful to have convinced his son to give him a chance.
“Gloriana has a soft woman’s heart,” Thomas said, thinking once more about how anxious he was to get back to her. They had much making up to do. He had much making up to do. He’d hurt her and he hated that.
James thrust his chin up. “I need no softness.” Thomas heard the years of longing for a real mother in those bitten-out words. His son wanted exactly that, but, like himself, he didn’t want to admit it. He trusted his wife to find her own way with the boy. “Mayhap you do not. But she is a gentle person, and you will not hurt her tender feelings.”
“Why would she want anything to do with me?” James asked, sounding defensive and yet hopeful. “She is not my true mother.” He looked narrowly at Thomas. “You are not my true father.”
“We have had this discussion, about my being your father. I will not deal with it again. You are my son. No one will ever challenge that.” When he saw the boy’s cautious acceptance, knew the hope he held inside him, Thomas softened. It angered him that he’d taken this long to do the right thing by James. “Gloriana loves children, has already said she will love you like her own.” Again, he caught the desperate need to be truly loved on James’s face before he tried to cover it. “When you get her with child, she will forget about me. You will forget about me.” James looked straight ahead at the outer walls of Abernon as they rode steadily closer.
When he got her with child. The look of devastation on her face at his cruelty before he’d left the bedchamber still haunted Thomas. She’d stopped drinking the tea. She could even now be with child. He no longer feared that. Now that he was making good progress with James, he knew they would be all right. He could be a good father. Not perfect, but better than many. He would be better than many, certainly better than his own father. And he would like to see a little girl with blonde hair and green eyes running about Middlemound. She would be a trial just like her mother. He wanted that. He smiled. “Gloriana has enough love in her heart for you, me, and many more children.” He looked directly at James. “You will always be my firstborn son. I will never forget you. I have never forgotten you.”
James gave a timid nod of acceptance, and they continued quietly, almost comfortably, toward Abernon.
***
From the moment Thomas rode into Abernon’s front bailey he knew something was wrong. He led the two men he’d taken with him and James toward the keep’s steps. It was mid-day and the bailey should have been filled with men practicing and villagers bustling about. Instead there were only a dozen or so men in the side bailey, none were his soldiers. He glanced to the men with him and said warily, “Stay here. I need to find Lord Abernon and Sir Rowan.”
Gavin walked from around the side of the keep before he could dismount. The minute he spotted Thomas his expression gr
ew grave. He walked determinedly closer as Thomas’s stomach tensed. “Gloriana?” He feared something had happened to her. He didn’t know why that was his first thought, but it was. He knew without a doubt now that he loved her. “Come, talk with me,” Gavin motioned him over and moved farther away again.
Thomas didn’t like this at all, but he quickly slid from his horse and followed his brother-in-law. He still wondered why he’d not seen his other men come out to greet him, or Rowan. It was past the noon meal, yet they could be inside the keep.
“Gloriana and Rowan are not here, neither are most of your men,” Gavin said. His brow furrowed and he looked uneasily toward the paddocks. “Rowan was attacked by three men—now all dead—the day you left to get James. He had intended to go catch up with you.”
Thomas stiffened, could barely breathe. “Attacked?” Then he gasped, “Is he…is he dead?” God, please no!
Gavin shook his head, though his expression remained serious. “Nay, at least I do not believe so. If he were not such a hardy warrior, he would have died as he fought back.”
Thomas felt a second of relief. Until he latched onto the words “I do not believe so” and remembered Gavin also saying that Gloriana and Rowan weren’t here. He scowled at Gavin. “You sent them away,” he accused.
Fury was crawling through him. Somehow he knew in his gut why his friend had been attacked. If the men weren’t already dead, he would hunt them down and… But they were dead. Still, it tore at him that he hadn’t been here to defend Rowan. And Gavin had…
Before Thomas could do more than fist his hands in anger, Gavin shook his head. “Nay, I did naught.” He jutted out his chin and stood ready to defend himself if necessary. “I told them to stay here and wait for you. I would have protected them. I would naught have let such a thing happen again.” He was all but growling in his frustration. “I have talked to all of my men about the matter. All know I will naught tolerate such actions here.” Thomas sucked in steadying breaths while Gavin looked squarely at him. Gavin added in disgust, “In truth, the men who attacked your friend were new here, drunk. Neither of which are tolerable excuses. I would have hung them, but Rowan managed to kill one. My first knight killed the other two when he went to help your friend.”
