Janitors: Secrets of New Forest Academy

by Tyler Whitesides

  “I did?” Dez looked around.

  “Remember that substitute, Miss Leslie Sharmelle?” Daisy said. “She was part of the BEM. She had you take some magic soap into the boys’ bathroom to get Spencer.”

  “Yeah!” Dez grinned. “You’re right! I did do dirty work for the BEM. And I’ll do it again if you don’t take me with you. I’ll tell them where you’re going!”

  Spencer groaned. Dez was such a nuisance! Even covered in chalk dust, slumped on the couch with only the ability to move his head, Dez was complicating things.

  Walter rubbed a hand over his face and glanced at his niece. Penny tilted her head and shrugged.

  “Fine,” Walter said. “You’re going with Spencer and Daisy.”

  “What?” Daisy shrieked.

  “No!” said Spencer. “He’ll mess everything up!”

  Dez’s foot suddenly shot out and kicked Spencer in the shin. “All right! I can move my legs again!”

  Alice repositioned herself between the two boys. Her hands went to her hips, daring Dez to try it again.

  “Dez has seen too much,” Penny said. “He’s involved whether we like it or not.”

  “Your old substitute teacher, Leslie Sharmelle, is locked safely away in jail,” said Walter. “But if she used Dez before, then other BEM workers may try to contact him in the future.”

  “I thought the whole point of sending us to this Academy was to keep us safe,” Daisy said. She glared at Dez. “We’re never too safe when he’s around.”

  “Listen,” Walter said. “I know you three kids have had some disagreements in the past.”

  Spencer rolled his eyes. Wasn’t a fistfight in the boys’ bathroom more than a disagreement?

  “But it’s time to set your differences aside. It’s just as important to protect Dez from the BEM. I want him to go with you to the Academy.” Walter looked at Spencer and Daisy. “And I expect you two to answer any questions he might have.”

  “We’re going to tell him about ...” Daisy leaned around Alice to glance at Dez. Then she lowered her voice to a whisper. “Toxites?”

  “I’m not deaf,” Dez shouted from the couch. “Just because I can’t move doesn’t mean my ears are turned off. I already heard your whole dumb conversation. If you want to make me—”

  “I don’t think Dez should know,” Spencer said, ignoring the comments from the couch.

  “Dez knows enough to be curious,” Walter said. “If you don’t give him answers, he might turn to other sources. It’s better for him to hear the truth from you than be told lies by the BEM.” Walter dropped his voice while Dez continued ranting. “I need you to gain his trust. Until you do, what will stop Dez from betraying us?”

  Walter was right. They had to get Dez on their side. It would be easy for the BEM to trick him. The bully was already inclined to make chaos. He could be dangerous in the hands of the enemy. Dez would never help the Rebels unless he had a reason. But Spencer knew that getting Dez to trust him would be nearly impossible.

  “You’re not going to give him soap, are you?” Spencer asked. It was the Glopified soap that made it possible to see Toxites.

  Walter shook his head. “I don’t have any extra soap. And even if I did, I wouldn’t give it to him. Not being able to see the Toxites was the only thing that saved Dez from getting picked apart in the library.”

  “Besides,” Alice said, “if anyone’s getting soap, it should be me.”

  Spencer turned to the half-paralyzed bully. Dez’s tough-guy commentary hadn’t slowed down at all. “And I’m not afraid of your Toxic breath, either!” he shouted.

  “It’s actually Toxite breath,” Spencer said. “Unless it’s coming out of you.”

  “Whatever,” Dez said. “You better look out. I just ­wiggled my little finger.”

  In response, Daisy tried to wiggle her own little finger. “Hey, how did you do it without moving your other fingers?”

  “It’s wearing off,” Penny said. “We need to get cracking so we can take this boy home.”

  Walter was caught in a sudden thought, causing his brow to wrinkle. “Dez will need an application to the Academy program.”

  “Can’t we just print a form off the Internet?” Alice said. “From the Academy’s website, like you did?”

  “Yes,” said Walter. “But it’s those signatures that he’ll need. Otherwise, they’ll never let him in.”

  “What’s the problem, Uncle?” Penny asked. “We’ve got the stuff here.”

  “But we don’t have time,” said Walter. “We need to get moving.”

  “We can leave it with them. They can copy the signatures later.”

  “Leave what?” Spencer asked.

  Penny reached into the box that she’d brought in from the van and withdrew a small bottle, the kind with a squirt cap.

  “What’s that?” asked Daisy.

  “Ink remover,” Penny said. “Janitors use it all the time to clean off pen marks and scribbles on the bathroom walls.”

  “But this has been Glopified,” Walter said. “This is the shortcut we took to get the necessary signatures on your applications.”

  “What does it do?” Spencer asked.

  “It copies ink.” Walter took the bottle from Penny’s hand. “Once we located the Academy signatures that we needed, we used the Glopified ink remover to make a forgery for your papers. I’ll need you to do the same for Dez. All you have to do is wet the Academy signatures. Don’t spray too much or you’ll have soggy paper. Once the ink is damp, you can press Dez’s application against it. The ink will absorb, making an identical copy onto his paper.”

  “I don’t see how this is going to work,” Alice said. “Won’t the Academy take one look at these signatures and know they were forged? They’ve got to keep records. They’re going to remember that they didn’t sign these.”

  “But these aren’t simple forgeries,” Penny said. “Uncle Walter Glopified the ink remover with that very problem in mind.”

  “It works like this,” said Walter. “The magic in the Glop duplicates the memory of the original signature. For example, I remember signing a check. If someone uses the ink remover to copy my signature from the check onto another paper, then the memory is copied with it. Therefore, I remember signing the check and the paper—even though I never actually signed both.”

  “Whoa!” said Dez, who was now sitting forward on the couch. “That’s genius. I could totally spray Principal Fatso’s signature and cancel school for a week!”

  “That’s exactly why we’re not giving the ink remover to you,” Penny said.

  “I developed the formula quite some time ago,” Walter continued. “It was getting harder and harder to find equipment for the Rebel schools. I used to buy cheap mops and brooms from janitorial supply stores. Problem is, the BEM owns all those stores and has blocked my signature. So now I use someone else’s signature to place my orders. The ink remover works against the BEM, and it will work just fine to get you into the Academy.”

  Walter handed the ink remover to Spencer, who studied the little bottle. It was pretty amazing what Glop could do. “Any questions?” Walter asked. The boy shook his head. “Let’s move on, then.”

  Penny turned back to the box on the coffee table. “Now comes the fun stuff. New supplies!”

  Chapter 10

  “What about Dez’s stomach?”

  We’ve got some fresh gear for you to take to the Academy,” Penny explained. “We’re not expecting any trouble up there, but you might as well have something to fall back on.”

  “We didn’t bring the larger equipment inside,” Walter said. “But we’ve got the usual for you out in the van. Standard broom, mop, pushbroom.”

  “And I know you’re familiar with this.” Penny’s hand disappeared into the box and appeared with a few Ziploc bags of vac dust. “Freshly charged. Got it out of the vacuum cleaner earlier today.”

  She set the clear bags on the coffee table and reached back into the box. “A few more
familiar friends,” she said, tossing a handful of latex gloves onto the table. The first time Spencer had used such a glove, he had been stealing the magic warlock hammer from Walter Jamison. The wearer of the glove would be able to slip through anyone’s fingers without getting held down.

  “Uncle Walter’s been pretty busy working on some new stuff, too.” Penny tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear. “You explain it, Uncle. I don’t want to steal your thunder.” She handed him a chalkboard eraser.

  “This isn’t new anymore,” Walter said. “Like I explained, throw this against a wall and it explodes into a cloud of paralyzing chalk dust.” He set it on the coffee table, and Penny added two more. “You have to be extremely cautious with the erasers. They work well in a room full of Toxites, or to escape from the BEM. But,” Walter glanced at Dez, “anyone can get caught in the explosion.” He turned to Spencer and Daisy. “Don’t use them unless absolutely necessary. The erasers should always be your last resort.”

  Penny withdrew another object from the box and handed it to Walter. He grinned as he held it up. It had a short handle and a red suction cup at the end.

  Spencer raised an eyebrow. “A toilet plunger?”

  “This little beauty should come in handy.” Walter swung it around like a knight testing a new sword. “The handle is short enough to give you good maneuverability. A direct hit from the rubber end will kill most Toxites. But that’s not what makes the plunger special.”

  Walter crossed the room; Alice stepped away as he neared the couch. “What’s a Toxite’s natural reaction to being detected?”

  “Run and hide,” said Daisy.

  “Exactly,” Walter answered. “So let’s say you’re hunting Toxites in the teachers’ lounge. A Filth knows it’s been seen, so it scurries under the couch.” Walter thrust the toilet plunger, and the red cup suctioned onto the side of the leather couch. “No problem,” he said. “Just move the couch.”

  With no apparent effort, Walter lifted the toilet plunger. The attached couch came off the floor, Dez and all. The bully let out a yelp and fell sideways onto the cushions. Walter took a few steps and set the couch down in the hallway. With a twist of the handle, the toilet plunger released from the couch. Walter smiled.

  “Is this your idea of feng shui?” Alice asked. “I hope you’re going to put that back.”

  The warlock pulled a face like he’d been caught stealing cookies. With one movement, he latched the plunger to the couch and returned the furniture to its original arrangement.

  “I don’t think I’m strong enough to do that,” Daisy said.

  “That’s the great thing about these plungers. They adjust the weight and balance of whatever you latch on to. A toddler could pick up this couch.”

  “What about a house?” Daisy asked. “Could you pick up a house?”

  “The plunger has its limits,” said Penny. “It can only clamp onto something that has a flat spot big enough for the suction cup. It will clamp onto a wall as tight as you’d like, but you won’t be able to lift it. The plunger can only pick up freestanding objects.”

  “What about a fridge?” Daisy asked.

  Penny nodded.

  “A bed?”

  “Yep.”

  “A piano?”

  “Yep.”

  “A grand piano?”

  Penny held up her hands. “Do you know what freestanding means?”

  “Sure.” Daisy nodded. “It means it’s not hooked onto anything. What about a guinea pig?”

  “No.”

  “But it’s freestanding.”

  Penny sighed. “It doesn’t have a flat spot big enough for the suction cup to take hold.”

  “What about Dez’s stomach? It’s pretty big,” Daisy observed.

  “Hey!” Dez’s arm jerked out in a spasm. His elbow buckled and his fist returned to punch himself in the mouth.

  “We’re making these toilet plungers standard issue for the Rebels,” Walter said. “You kids should have them too.” Walter offered the plunger to Spencer. The boy eyed the red suction cup nervously.

  “Has it been ... used?” Spencer asked.

  “Oh, that’s another great feature,” Penny said. “That thing will knock out the worst clogs.”

  Spencer stepped away. He could get by just fine without a toilet plunger.

  “She’s joking,” Walter said. “It’s brand-new. I took it straight from the store to my van, touched it to the Glop formula, and brought it here.” Still somewhat reluctant, Spencer took the plunger by the wooden handle. He held it for only a moment, to prove that he could, before setting it on the table.

  “That’s all for new supplies,” Walter said. “We’ll give you a few mops and brooms for backup.” He dusted his hands together. “That takes care of everything.”

  Spencer paused. A couple of mops and brooms along with the new cleaning supplies did not take care of everything. Walter was avoiding the most important thing. Spencer had been patient, but now it seemed that Walter was planning to leave without mentioning it.

  “What about the Vortex?” Spencer asked. The room fell quiet. Penny lifted her eyebrows toward Walter. “What about Marv?” Spencer pressed. “You said he might be alive in there.”

  The old warlock ran a hand over his bald head. “I know what I said,” Walter muttered. “And I believe it. More so now than ever.”

  “We’ve been running tests on the Vortex,” Penny said, “trying to understand the way it works. The more we understand, the better chance we’ll have of finding Marv.”

  “Here’s what we’ve discovered,” said Walter. “The Vortex is still highly charged and dangerous. It didn’t appear to lose its potency, even after you pierced it. The magic sealed around the hole you made. There’s still a rip, but it’s stable enough not to suck everything inside.”

  “So we decided to crack that seal,” Penny said. “This time in a controlled environment.”

  “A couple of weeks ago, we set up a temporary lab at a Rebel middle school in Nebraska. A bare concrete room in the basement. I knew I could pierce the bag and not get sucked in, as long as I held tightly. So I tried to pry open the Vortex and drain it, to get a glimpse inside. My efforts failed. The Vortex was too strong, and every attempt broke down the walls of the lab until it was unsafe to continue. But on our last attempt, we decided to let something get sucked in.”

  Penny nodded smugly and mouthed the words, “My idea!”

  “I entered the experiment room with my cell phone and called Penny,” said Walter. “She has one of those fancy new smart phones, so she started recording our conversation. Once the recording had started, I pierced the Vortex and let the magic happen. I saw the phone swirl above my head and fly into the bag.”

  “That’s when things got interesting,” Penny cut in. “It got really noisy. From what I could hear on the phone, it was like a hundred TV channels playing at the same time. Then the phone went dead and I lost the call.” Penny smiled. “But thanks to my new favorite app, I got the whole thing recorded.”

  “But we couldn’t make sense of it,” Walter said, “no matter how many times we listened to the recording. There was just too much noise to filter without help. So we went to see a friend of mine. Guy by the name of Kenny—an audio genius. He filtered the recording layer by layer, isolating sound bytes and playing them for us one after another until we heard something we recognized.” Walter nodded for Penny to take over.

  The warlock’s niece reached into her pocket and withdrew her cell phone. She pressed a few buttons, changed the setting to speakerphone, and held out the device. “Listen to this,” she whispered.

  Penny pressed “play” and the whole room seemed to freeze. Spencer and his mom were tilting forward with anticipation. Dez was picking his nose, and Daisy’s big eyes refused to blink.

  The recording was a mess of static. It hissed and fuzzed obnoxiously, Spencer counting the seconds as they rolled by.

  “I can’t ...” he squinted. “All I hear is white
noise.”

  Daisy squinted too. “How can you tell what color the noise is?”

  There was a sudden break in the static wave. The hiss of nothingness fell away to reveal a deep, gruff voice in perfect clarity. “Hahaha! Gutter ball!”

  Click.

  The recording ended. It was silent in the Zumbro living room. Then Spencer, Daisy, and Alice started talking at once.

  “Was that Marv?”

  “He’s alive!”

  “What did he say?”

  Walter held out his hands. “Gutter ball.” Walter repeated the recorded message and followed it up with a quick explanation. “It’s a bowling term. Marv loves bowling.”

  “So he’s alive in there!” Spencer said. Speaking it with conviction helped to melt away some of the guilt that lingered from Spencer’s decision to pierce the vacuum bag.

  “That’s our Marv.” Penny grinned. “No doubt about it.”

  “So ...” Daisy said. “Why is Marv bowling in the Vortex?”

  Walter threw his hands in the air and gave a clueless chuckle. “All I know is what you heard. Marv is alive ... and seems to think he’s bowling.”

  “So what are we waiting for?” Spencer said. “If we know Marv can survive in there, then why don’t we send someone in to look for him?”

  Walter scratched his head as he shook it from side to side. “Too risky,” he muttered. “But I’m working on a plan. It’s going to take time, but I think—”

  A popping sound interrupted Walter’s plan. Everyone turned their attention across the room as Dez began to laugh. Somehow, the bully had recovered the use of his legs, and while Walter and Penny explained their progress with the Vortex, Dez had quietly taken a second plunger from the box. Now he stood in the corner of the room, one hand on the toilet plunger as he balanced Aunt Avril’s antique grandfather clock above his head.

  Chapter 11

  “Only in an emergency.”

  Put down that clock right now, young man!” Alice threatened.

  “Chill out!” Dez set the grandfather clock back in its place.

  Alice shook her head. “I will not be ‘chilled out.’ That is a priceless piece.”