Forever Alexa (Book Four In The Bodyguards Of L.A. County Series)

by Beauman, Cate

  Alexa sighed as she ran the needle along the final hem. She shouldn’t have kissed Jack, but she’d been powerless to do anything else. He’d been so comforting and sweet. His eyes had pleaded with her to be strong. She’d only meant to say thank you when she touched her lips to his, but even that had been a mistake. The spark of need had consumed her instantly, and the years vanished. It had been so easy to forget and let herself feel. Twice now she’d let herself do too much feeling and not enough thinking.

  Even as she chastised herself, a surge of butterflies danced in her belly as she remembered his clever fingers skimming her thighs and his rough palms kneading at her butt, pulling her against him. He’d definitely wanted her, and she him. Her heart and body had begged her to give in to the pleasure she knew they could bring each other, but thankfully her brain had begun to function again after the initial shock of having Jack’s hands on her.

  Jack was a dangerous man. From the first time he kissed her so long ago, he’d enchanted her, putting her under his spell. When she was in his arms, need ruled and everything else was forgotten. Four years proved nothing had changed. Even hours later, she still ached for him and throbbed to have him fulfill her. Her craving for Jack was overpowering her need to remember the way he’d hurt her. That alone sent her heart trembling. This couldn’t happen again. She wouldn’t let it. Eventually the summer would end. Abby would probably stay in LA to start her career, but she and Livy would have to come back. Their life was here. Her job was here. Rolling around in the sheets with Jack would do nothing more than scratch an itch and complicate an already impossible situation.

  Alexa eased off the presser foot and lifted the needle from her halter-top, then snipped the bobbin thread. This wasn’t where her mind should be. She needed to concentrate on Abby and Livy—only Abby and Livy. Two kisses from Jack, and the feelings they stirred were only as big as she chose to make them. She’d yearned for Jack before; she would again. As long as she remembered that they were finished, she could deal with it. They were attracted to each other—of course they were—that probably wouldn’t ever change, but that didn’t have to mean anything more than pheromones.

  She stared at the creation she’d made, then pressed her face into the shirt with a frustrated groan, knowing full well she lied to herself. Jack would always matter too much. She would have to keep her distance if she was going to survive this time.

  Something crashed to the floor, and Livy screamed. Heart thundering, Alexa rushed to her feet and raced down the stairs before it registered Livy was shrieking in delight. Her screeches dissolved into deep belly laughs when Jack growled. Alexa stopped on the bottom step, trying to catch her breath, while Jack chased Livy on all fours until their daughter pushed at his waist and he collapsed in a heap.

  “I got you, grumpy, growly dog.” She screamed again when Jack opened one eye.

  “Grumpy, growly dogs like to catch little girls named Olivia.” He grabbed her, rolled to his back, and held Livy high above him and she laughed. “Maybe I’ll have you for snack.” His triceps bulged as he lowered her nose to nose.

  “No, growly dog! No, don’t eat me!” Livy pressed her hands to Jack’s mouth.

  He made a biting motion with his lips, making Livy giggle and him chuckle.

  “Maybe growly dog should throw you in the air.” As he said it, he tossed Livy high and caught her. Jack did it once more, then grabbed her up in his arms and sat up, hugging their delighted little girl.

  Alexa’s heart melted right then and there. Her yearning for Jack had nothing to do with pheromones or magic spells; it was love—plain but not so simple. She’d always loved Jack, but never as much as she did right now.

  His muscles bunched as he squeezed Livy tight and kissed her forehead. His gorgeous face brightened as his exhausted eyes held Livy’s and they grinned at each other.

  “Handsome, Jack,” she murmured as she unconsciously clutched the charm on her necklace.

  Jack’s gaze left Livy’s and locked on hers. Her pulse pounded and her heart raced as heat flashed in his suddenly serious eyes, rendering her defenseless to their potent effect. The triangular points of the charm bit into her hand as she squeezed, struggling against overwhelming emotions.

  A slow smile spread across his face, this time just for her. Traces of sweetness mixed with hints of desire, sending a wave of goose bumps over her skin. She swallowed as Livy crawled out of Jack’s lap and ran to her.

  Alexa bent down and picked her up. “Sounds like you’re having fun.”

  “I am. Will you read with me?” Livy rested her head on her shoulder. “I miss you, Mommy.”

  “Oh, sweetie, of course I’ll read with you.” She kissed Livy’s cheek as guilt snuck up to grab her. She’d been so distracted with Abby’s situation, and Livy was paying for it. She’d never spent an evening away from Olivia before like she did last night. Typically they spent all their free time together, usually snuggled up with books or a board game or playing at the park.

  “Grammy brought new books about the princesses.”

  “We should probably read them.” She kissed Livy’s other cheek. “Jack, why don’t you go catch a nap. You look exhausted.” She walked with Livy to the living room, plucked up the three new books Carol had purchased, and sat on the couch with her little girl.

  Livy settled herself in the crook of Alexa’s arm as she always did.

  “Which one should we start with?”

  “This one.” Livy pointed to the pale pink hardback.

  “Do you mind a joiner?” Jack stood in the doorway, his tired eyes bloodshot.

  “Jack, you need—”

  “Come listen.” Livy held out her hand.

  Jack joined them on couch, sitting on the end cushion.

  “You can’t see the pictures, silly goose.” Livy tugged, and he scooted closer.

  Alexa moved her shoulder when his side brushed her arm. She didn’t want to touch him right now. Too many feelings left her unsettled.

  “Mommy, your hair is in my eyes.”

  “Sorry.” She sat up taller, trying to accommodate both Livy and Jack.

  “How about this.” Jack kicked a leg over Alexa, and Livy and lay against the plush arm of the beige couch. Alexa stiffened as he pulled her back to his chest. After a moment’s hesitation, she settled against him. What choice did she have?

  Jack moved Livy, and she rested on both of them. “There. Better. Much more comfortable for everyone.”

  Alexa glanced at Jack as she struggled to remain unaffected by the coziness of their situation. She’d dreamed of moments just like this all the years she and Livy had done without him. She couldn’t do this. She tried to sit up. “Jack, I think—”

  He pulled her back. “We should get to the story.” He settled his arm at her side and brushed Livy’s bangs from her forehead with his other hand. He winked at Alexa and smiled. “Come on, Mommy. We want to hear about those princesses. Right, Liv?”

  “Right.”

  She stared at him a moment longer, realizing he knew exactly what he was doing. Alexa followed her daughter’s lead and rested her head against Jack’s solid chest. His breath heated her temple as she opened to the first page and brought the enchanted world among the pages to life for their little girl.

  Jackson sat on the floor by the bathtub, relaxed with his legs outstretched and crossed at the ankles, his feet bare. His jeans were covered with small, dark spots from the occasional splash as Olivia played with the princess water toys his mother bought. He smiled as Liv sent the redheaded doll down the magical waterslide. Grammy hadn’t missed a trick.

  With his parents off to a dinner/dance benefit and Alex and Tucker leaving soon, he and Olivia would be on their own for the next several hours. He tried to ignore the whisper of nerves. They would be fine. She was just a little girl—his little gir
l. How much trouble could they get in?

  “We should probably wash your hair, Liv. The water’s getting cold.”

  “It’s very warm water. I like my princesses.” Olivia picked up the blond doll and sent her down the shimmering slide next.

  Inspiration struck, and he smiled, impressed with his own genius. “Your princesses have beautiful, clean hair. Princess Liv needs beautiful, clean hair too.”

  “Princess Livy doesn’t like to get her hair washed. The water hurts her eyes.”

  Jackson’s smile disappeared as the mutiny in his daughter’s heated stare registered. Now what the hell was he supposed to do?

  Alex popped her head in the room. “It sounds like someone’s having fun in here.”

  Olivia glanced up and beamed. “Grammy has good toys.”

  Alex chuckled. “Yes she does.” She stepped further in, and Jackson struggled not to swallow his tongue. Her jeans hugged her slim curves like glory. The tight, black top she wore stopped several inches above her waist, showing off the smooth skin of her midriff. “I thought I should come in and make sure everything’s okay before Tucker and I head out.”

  Jackson tore his eyes from her sexy stomach. “Yeah, Liv and I’ll be just fine.” He was mostly sure of it, even if he didn’t have a clue how the hell he was going to convince a three-year-old that she really did want to get her hair washed. Pride kept him from asking for help.

  “Mommy, stay and play princesses. It’s very fun.” Livy danced the redheaded doll around for her mother’s benefit.

  Alex crouched down next to the tub. Her small, firm ass brushed Jackson’s knee, and he clenched his jaw. “I wish I could stay home and play, sweetie, but I have an important appointment tonight. I’ll only be gone for a little while. You and Daddy are going to have such a good time.”

  “Daddy said he’s going to wash my hair.” Livy frowned at him, and Alex smiled.

  “It only takes a minute, Livy. Head back, eyes closed, and ears plugged. Right?”

  Olivia’s frown deepened.

  Oh, shit. This was not how he wanted his first solo evening to start.

  “Do you want me to wash her up, Jack?”

  Yes! “Nah, I’ve got it.” He swallowed as Alex eyed him.

  “You sure? We’ve gotten hair washing down to a pretty painless science.”

  He shrugged. “We’ll be all right. Me and Liv have to figure it out some time.”

  “Okay.” She leaned in and kissed Livy’s nose. “Mommy will be back later. Have fun. I love you.” She stood and directed her attention to him. “I’ll have my cellphone if you need anything.”

  “Wait, Mommy, one more smoochie.”

  Alex crouched down, her butt touching his knee again as she puckered up. Livy kissed her. “Kiss daddy too. He’s my daddy.”

  Alex’s gaze flew to Jackson’s. “Livy, Daddy doesn’t want me to kiss him.”

  “Yes, he does.” Smirking, Jackson sat further up, more than willing to take advantage of this opportunity. He hadn’t stopped thinking about their impromptu make out session on the dock since it happened. She’d done her best to keep her distance throughout the day, but he wasn’t about to let this moment slip by. “Daddy wants mommy to kiss him right here.” He puckered his lips and pointed to his mouth as Alex stared him down with unamused eyes.

  “Come on, Mommy. Daddy wants you too,” Olivia said in a singsong voice.

  Jackson leaned further in, and Alex met him halfway. She pressed her lips to his in a chaste kiss, and their little girl giggled. As Alex pulled away, he grabbed her arms and she lost her balance, falling into his lap. “We should probably try one more. Liv got two kisses. It’s only fair.”

  Livy giggled again. “It’s only fair, Mommy.”

  He touched her lips to his as Alex’s heated eyes continued to stare at him. He added more pressure this time, holding her still until her mouth gave against his. He eased back and brushed his fingers through her hair. “Be careful tonight. Stay with Tucker.”

  She nodded. “I will. I have to go. Tucker said he had a call to make. He should be finished by now, and I still need to take care of my wig.”

  Her body tensed beneath his hands, and worry filled her eyes. He hated seeing it there. Hopefully tonight was the beginning of the end. “You’ll have to tell me if blonds or redheads have more fun.”

  She smiled as she stood. “I’ll let you know later.” She turned to Olivia. “Bye, sweetie. I’ll be back in a bit.”

  “Bye mommy.”

  Alex closed the door behind her as Jackson glanced at the bottle of tear-free shampoo. It was now or never. “Time to wash your hair, Liv.”

  “No, daddy. No.”

  She looked at him with such pleading desperation; he almost told her they didn’t have to. “We’ll be quick.” He picked up the plastic cup floating in the water, filling it to the brim. “Head back, Liv. Close your eyes. Plug your ears.”

  Livy squeezed her eyes tight, tipped her head, and screamed as Jackson poured the first cup of water over Olivia’s shoulder-length blond hair. Dear Christ, it sounded like he was torturing her. Why didn’t he just let Alex do this? He held his breath as he scooped and dumped the next cup over her pretty golden locks. Livy let loose another scream despite him being careful not to get the water on her forehead. “Liv, it’s not that bad. It’s really not,” he tried to reassure them both.

  Five long minutes later, Jackson rinsed the remaining suds away. He grabbed a towel and wiped at Olivia’s face, even though he’d done a hell of a job of keeping the water from going into her eyes. “You can open your eyes, Liv. We’re finished.”

  Olivia blinked them open and smiled. “That didn’t hurt. You’re a great hair washer.”

  Flushed from his success, he grinned. This was going to be a piece of cake after all. If he could make it through hair washing hell, he could handle anything. “Thanks. Let’s get you out of the tub. You’re turning into a raisin.”

  “A raisin.” She beamed at him. “I like raisins. They’re healthy for my body.”

  He helped her stand, wrapped a towel around her, and plucked her from the bath. Jackson brought her to the bedroom and was happy to see that Alex left Olivia’s pajamas laid out. “Okay, Liv, let’s get you dressed.” Then what?

  “I can do it myself. I’m a very big girl now.”

  He raised a brow as he studied her. She sounded like she was fifteen, not three. She was growing up so fast. He’d already missed too much. “Well, by all means then.” He sat on the bed and looked out the window as Olivia pulled on her yellow and pale purple polka-dotted top. He watched a small motorboat rumble by with a young boy sitting in the back with a fishing pole in hand, and an idea struck. “Liv, have you ever gone fishing?”

  “No,” she said as she pulled up her little shorts.

  “Do you want to?”

  “Um, yes I do. But I don’t know how.”

  “I could teach you.”

  She smiled. “Okay. I like to learn new things. That’s why I’m such a smart girl.”

  He chuckled. There was that modesty again. “Come on, Liv. Let’s go fishing.” He took her hand and walked to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and grabbed a hunk of his mother’s bleu cheese.

  “Pew.” She plugged her nose. “That’s stinky.”

  He grinned. “Sure is. Fish love smelly cheese.” He hoped. They would save worms for another day. He didn’t know how Olivia would feel about watching him bait a hook with anything other than food. “Let’s go get a pole.”

  “Can I hold it?”

  “Sure, but I’ll help. We have to be careful of the hook. It’s sharp.” They stopped off at the garage and grabbed one of the fishing poles he and his brother had used when they were young boys. “Are you ready?”

  “I
want to catch lots and lots of fishies.”

  “Let’s see what we can do.” Dusk was settling in. If they could stay quiet enough, they would hopefully snag at least one. “We have to be nice and quiet or we’ll scare all the fish away.”

  “Nice and quiet,” she repeated in a whisper as they made their way to the end of the dock.

  “Sit right next to me, Liv. The water’s pretty deep.”

  She did as she was told.

  “Now I’m going to put a hunk of this smelly stuff on the hook.” He grabbed a chunk of the offensive bleu cheese and secured it in place. “You can help me cast off, and we’ll see if we get anything.” He settled Olivia on his lap. “Ready?”

  “Yes.” She grinned as she put her small hands on top of his on the pole, and he cast off. The hunk of cheese made a plop as the line sunk.

  Livy rested her head on his chest and looked up. “Where’s the fishy?”

  He smiled. “It takes a few minutes. We have to be patient.” He tweaked her nose with his free hand.

  “I like Grampy’s boat. He let me drive to the hotdog restaurant.”

  Jackson glanced at the cabin cruiser tied to the dock. He’d missed Olivia’s first time out on the water. Instead of enjoying an afternoon with his family a couple days ago, he’d been stuck in Detective Canon’s office trying to get to the bottom of Abby’s disappearance. “Maybe we can take the boat out again soon.”

  “I want to drive some more.”

  “I think we can make that happen. Do you—” The pole jerked, and he gave a small yank, securing the fish on the line. “Liv, I think we got something. Help me bring it in.” He wrapped her hand around the reel, helping her turn the crank against the weight of the fish.