Forever Alexa (Book Four In The Bodyguards Of L.A. County Series)

by Beauman, Cate

  “I think that sounds wonderful.” She brushed Livy’s soft bangs back from her forehead. “What will you say?”

  “It’s a surprise. I will draw the pictures, and you can write what I say for the words.”

  Alexa smiled. She’d introduced Livy to ‘storytelling’ as a diversionary tactic during a particularly long wait for a well-child checkup two months before. Livy had been wild about drawing her ‘stories’ ever since.

  “I want to draw my fishies in the morning.”

  “It’s a date. I can’t wait. We’ll get started right after breakfast.”

  Livy’s grin turned into an enthusiastic yawn.

  “I think someone needs to close their eyes.”

  “Don’t turn off the light.”

  “I promise I won’t.” Alexa kissed her finger and touched Livy’s nose. “Sweet dreams, my smart, beautiful girl.”

  “I love you, Mommy.”

  Alexa hugged Livy tight. “I love you too.”

  “I want to say goodnight to Daddy.”

  “He’ll be up a little later. He’s helping Grampy and a few of the neighbors put away some of the heavy tables and chairs.”

  “Don’t tell him about my book. It’s a secret present,” she whispered conspiratorially.

  “Cross my heart.” Alexa winked as she followed her words with the appropriate action.

  Livy yawned again and turned to her side with her stuffed frog—a sure sign that she would be down and out within minutes. “I don’t know how to draw fishies,” she said groggily.

  “I’ll show you.” Alexa rubbed Livy’s back and watched her eyes grow heavy. Her baby blinked once, twice, three times, and then her lids stayed closed.

  Alexa stared at her pretty girl, wishing this was any typical evening, but it wasn’t. She had stuff to do, things she wished she didn’t have to. She touched Livy’s arm and stood, regretting that she couldn’t curl up and snuggle while she read a chapter or two in a good book. Instead, she walked to the window, watching Jack and Tucker help several of the older residents of the neighborhood stack large folding tables and numerous chairs into the back of pickup trucks. There were half a dozen vehicles down the block that needed to be unloaded.

  Jack sat in the driver’s seat of Mr. Farley’s loaded-down flatbed. Tucker hopped in on the passenger’s side. The break lights glowed bright in the dark, and then the truck took off down the street.

  Alexa stepped back and hurried to the guest bathroom. She peeked at Livy, who was by now sound asleep, before she closed the door and began her work, detesting every second. Sighing, she looked at herself in the mirror, then plucked up the hair tie sitting on the counter and pulled her hair up in a tight ponytail. She wrapped her long mane of soft black locks around the elastic and secured the bun she’d made with bobby pins.

  It was time for step two—the tricky part. How did she go about making herself appear several years younger than she was? She wasn’t an old hag, but she certainly wasn’t eighteen. Light on the makeup would probably be best. Alexa pulled powder, an eyeliner pencil, and other cosmetics from the drawer she had shoved them in and started her transformation. She powdered her face, then drew a thin line of dark blue across the edge of one eyelid, then the next. Beige eye shadow followed for a natural look. She brushed her lashes with several short sweeps of the mascara wand and examined the effect. Perfect. Her lake-blue eyes were huge. She applied a swipe of blush and heightened the fullness of her lips with clear, shimmery gloss.

  Alexa unbuttoned her pale pink top until a hint of smooth, creamy cleavage peeked out from the black, clinging, spaghetti-strapped tank she wore underneath. She grabbed the chin-length blond wig she’d swiped from one of Carol’s prop boxes and secured it in place. Closing her eyes, she took several breaths and opened them. She blinked at the prettily chic youngster staring back at her in the mirror. A slow smile touched her mouth as she tilted her head and glanced up from under her lashes. Flirtatious. Sexy. Naive. Amazing. Definitely not sixteen, but certainly not twenty-seven either. This could work. This just might work.

  She picked up the digital camera she’d set on the counter before she helped Livy brush her teeth and aimed the lens in her own direction. She practiced her sweet, vulnerable look a few times before she snapped a picture. She examined the results, scrutinizing, making sure it was impossible to tell she was related to Abby, then took several more. She pressed the button again, trying for that desperate and defiant look, attempting to mirror the picture she had seen of Kristen.

  Alexa glanced at the digital clock tucked in the corner on the granite countertop and winced. She had taken longer than she’d planned. Jack would be home before long, and she had so much more to do. Setting down the camera, Alexa pulled off the wig, crouched down, and shoved the fake hair to the back of the cupboard below the sink. She washed her face, scrubbing off the makeup she’d painstakingly applied, and changed into a long Ravens jersey. With her skin fresh and soft from moisturizer, she opened the door and stepped into the bedroom with her camera in hand.

  Smiling, she walked to Livy, who was already tangled in the sheets. Alexa tugged on the blanket and gently pulled Gordon free from Livy’s clutches, rescuing the frog from his one-leg dangle off the bed, and set the stuffed animal next to her daughter’s side, knowing her restless little sleeper would reach for him when she moved again.

  With Livy settled, Alexa hurried to the small sitting area and plunked herself on the couch with her laptop. She pulled free the piece of paper she’d stuffed in her pocket and typed the Baltimore Dates URL in to the address bar. Seconds later, a backsplash of the city, along with several pictures of smiling, attractive couples filled her screen. She blew out a nervous breath as she located the Join Now! hyperlink and pressed it. This was it—the official point of no return.

  Her heart beat faster as she looked at the empty data fields waiting to be filled with her name, date of birth, e-mail address, and so on. She placed her fingers on the home row, licked her lips, and started to type the first few letters of her profile name, ‘JennyLove,’ but the framed picture of Jack on the side table caught her eye.

  She froze, staring at a younger Jack grinning with a college football trophy in his hands. She remembered that night and the glory of watching Jack and his team battle their way to the division championship. Hundreds of students had rushed the field when Jack landed on his back with the winning catch, herself included. Among the sea of maroon uniforms and the chaos of exited fans, they’d found one another. He’d picked her up—sweaty and exhausted—and spun her while they laughed and plied each other with quick, enthusiastic kisses. So much had changed in the years since George took that picture of his son, but Jack’s eyes were still the same—kind, friendly, and honest. “Damn,” she sighed. “Please understand, Jack. Please understand that I have to do this.” She rubbed at her stomach as it clenched with the newly familiar pangs of guilt. “Abby. Abby. Abby,” she whispered as she tore her gaze from Jack’s. “This is for Abby.” Remembering her purpose, she buried the mix of messy emotions and settled in to create the profile she’d been planning for much of the day. With her fingers back on the keyboard, she typed ‘Jennifer Carstens’ as her name. Jennifer had just turned eighteen on April 12 and loved photography. She’d graduated from high school a month ago, and her dream was to become either a fashion photographer or model; it didn’t matter as long as she worked in the industry. College was still up in the air. She wanted to spend a year traveling with her girlfriends before she made any major commitments. For fun she enjoyed taking pictures, anything adventurous, hanging out with friends, shopping, and partying.

  Alexa read and reread what would be her new identity—if she actually got a hit. Hopefully this was good enough. Hopefully her plan would work. She’d been careful to add the pieces most lures appeared to look for—youth, naiveté, a definite lack of directi
on, and desperation to be part of the fashion world. With nothing left to do, she uploaded the third picture she had taken of the dozen. The big, trusting eyes and flirty hint of smile matched Jennifer Carstens best—better than the rebellion shot imitating Kristen Moore.

  Two doors slammed in the driveway; the sound ricocheted off the water. Alexa came to attention when Jack and Tucker’s voices called out their goodnights to Mr. Farley. The old pickup reversed and drove away. Seconds later, the front door opened.

  “Shoot. Shoot.” With her heart in her throat and her hand on the mouse, Alexa scanned Jennifer Carstens’ profile one last time. Footsteps took the stairs in twos and walked down the hall, stopping outside her door. Afraid she would chicken out, she slammed her eyes shut and clicked submit with a trembling finger. She sat statue still, taking in deep breaths. It was done. She was officially a liar.

  Knuckles wrapped lightly on the wood, and Jack poked his head in. “You’re up.”

  Alexa opened her eyes and exed out of the site, then shut her laptop and stood. “Yeah.” She cleared her throat when her voice came out weak. “Yeah,” she tried again. She clutched her hands in front of her and immediately dropped them to her sides, afraid she was giving herself away.

  Jack opened the door wider. “Do you have a second?”

  “Sure. Come on in.”

  He stepped in, and her stomach fluttered with twinges of guilt and love. He looked so good with his black ball cap worn backwards. The white Ethan Cooke Security t-shirt and carpenter shorts accentuated his muscular build. He glanced at the bed and smiled at their daughter. “She’s out, huh?”

  “Yeah, she was pretty tired. She had a fun day.” But they didn’t. Although she and Jack had cared for Livy together, and he had cheerfully reintroduced Alexa to many of the neighbors she met years before, hints of tension had marred an afternoon meant for celebrating the relaxing, carefree days of summer.

  “I want to talk about earlier.”

  “Okay.”

  He closed the door. “Can we sit down?”

  “Of course.”

  They walked to the couch and each took a cushion. Alexa gave Jack a small smile, then glanced down. How would she look at him day after day after what she just did?

  “Alex, I’m sorry about this morning.”

  Her gaze flew to his. “Please, don’t apologize.”

  “I lost my cool—”

  She took his hand. “Please don’t.” She could hardly stand listening to the regret in his voice. “It’s no big deal.”

  He gave her hand a squeeze. “Yeah, it is. You were thinking of Abby. I know how much you want to help her. The way I handled things—it was knee-jerk, and I regret it.”

  “I have to help my sister. Helping isn’t simply a want.” She desperately needed him to understand. “Any opportunity that presents itself… I have to do my part to bring her home.”

  “You are doing your part.”

  She shook her head vehemently. “No. I’m not doing nearly enough. After I saw her the other night… She was so close, and now she’s gone.”

  “You’ve helped the authorities confirm a sighting from the bachelor party pictures. You helped me find her.”

  “It’s not enough.” She stood, restless. “It will never be enough. No length is too far; no situation is too dangerous. I can’t rest until she’s standing here in front of me safe and whole again. How can I make you see? How can I make you feel this desperation I wake up with every day?”

  “Alex—”

  “No.” He was trying to appease her, and it couldn’t be done. “Sitting around waiting for everyone else to come up with answers… Depending on others—strangers no less… I’m used to taking care of her. I’ve been doing it for as long as I can remember.” She paced back and forth. “Abby’s my responsibility. I took care of her when my mother was too drunk and depressed to take care of herself. Gran and I raised my sister together. Abby needs me more than ever and I’m not there for her.” She stopped at the window and stared out.

  “Alex.” Jack’s solid arms enveloped her waist, and his chin settled on her head. “None of what’s happening to Abby is your fault.”

  Instead of leaning back into his gesture of comfort, she held herself rigid. She didn’t deserve any of the kindness he offered.

  He pulled her more tightly against him. “This isn’t your fault, Alex.”

  She wrapped her fingers around his forearms, intending to free herself from his hold, but she slid her hands down until they rested on his, then leaned in to his chest. Despite her betrayal, she couldn’t walk away. “I should’ve done more. I should’ve done so much more. I didn’t pay enough attention to the van following us. I never gave it any thought. When I saw them driving behind us or pulling ahead on occasion, I just figured they were travelers heading in the same direction. If we would’ve kept going instead of stopping...”

  “They would’ve taken her regardless. It was only a matter of time. They wanted Abby, and they were going to have her.”

  “I didn’t even get a license plate number—a license plate number, Jack.” She closed her eyes as she huffed out a breath. Her ineptitude still made her angry. “Such a vital detail, and it never crossed my mind.”

  “You were in shock.”

  “I was shockingly stupid.”

  “Stop.” He pressed his cheek to hers. “The information you did give Detective Canon linked Abby’s case to the others. If you hadn’t witnessed her abduction, we would have absolutely nothing to go on; besides, the kidnappers probably pulled off an exit or two up the road and moved Abby to a new vehicle altogether.”

  “But that would’ve slowed them down.”

  He shook his head. “Getting caught slows you down. This is an extremely organized operation. They weren’t going to let something as simple and identifiable as a license plate or van color fuck up their plans.”

  She’d never thought of it that way, but then why would she? Her life revolved around the wants and needs of a three-year-old and her classroom full of first-graders. “Still.”

  “Stop, Alex.” He turned her to face him. “I know Abby’s in a terrible situation, but we’re doing everything possible to get her out of it. He rested his forehead against hers.

  “Jack.”

  “Even though things are bad, I’m thankful they aren’t worse.”

  “How can you say that?” She yanked away from his hold. “My sister’s being raped and God knows what else. It doesn’t get any worse than that.”

  “You’re alive. Oliva’s alive. You’re both witnesses to a suspected multi-million dollar operation. They didn’t have to keep you that way.”

  Alexa felt the blood drain from her face as she stared at him. “I guess I—I guess I never thought—I don’t want to think... I need to sit down.” She walked back to the couch on watery legs. Abby and Livy had been alone in the desolate parking lot for at least five minutes while she’d been in the bathroom. They could’ve hurt her baby while she’d been washing her hands and thinking her relaxing summer thoughts. “God, that makes me sick.” She clenched her hands at her sides. “Even after all the cruelty we’ve read about and seen, I never thought about… She was trapped in her car seat. She had no idea what was going on. She’s just a little girl.”

  “They don’t care.” He sat beside her and put his arm around her. “They don’t give a damn about anything but their bottom line. That’s why I want you to stay out of this. The stakes are too high. These people aren’t messing around. Tucker’s friend is going to handle the website. She’s agreed to help us out. We officially have a decoy in place.”

  “But it’s not a guarantee. The person we want has to take the bait. If two of us have accounts our odds will increase.”

  “True, but the risks to you aren’t worth any of the odds.
If they contact Miranda, they’ll want to meet her. That’s when a bust will go down.”

  “You could help me. We could do it together.”

  “No. We’re finished with this, Alex.”

  “Abby deserves everything we can give her.”

  “Agreed. That’s why Tucker contacted Miranda. I have absolute faith in her. She’s played this game hundreds of times before. Rounding up creeps on the internet is how she makes a living.”

  Jack’s confidence in Tucker’s friend should’ve appeased her. “But—”

  “I wouldn’t be able to stand it if anything happened to you, Alex.” He pulled her closer. “I can’t handle losing you now that I’ve found you again.”

  She pressed her hand to his cheek. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him, to confess everything, but her sister’s desperate screams echoed through her head, and she stayed silent.

  “I need to keep you safe. I love you.”

  Oh, Jack. She closed her eyes, unable to look into his.

  He kissed her. “Are we okay?”

  They were far from okay, but she nodded. “Yes, we’re okay.” I’m so sorry.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She opened her eyes. “I’m worried about Abby.”

  He shook his head. “It’s more than that.”

  “I want all of this to be over.”

  “We’re getting closer. Tucker, Ethan, and I are definitely on to something.”

  “I know.” Hopefully, so was she. It didn’t matter who crossed the finish line first as long as the end result was having Abby home.

  “You should go to bed. You’re exhausted.”

  “In a few minutes.”

  “I can handle that.” He moved back, resting against the cushion, bringing her with him. “So did you have fun today?”

  This wasn’t exactly what she had in mind. She wanted time to think—alone—about what she’d done, about what Jack had said. But none of it mattered. She planned to go ahead with her own decoy operation, no matter the risks. Sighing, she answered. “It was nice seeing everyone again. There were even more people here than the last time I came, and that’s saying something.”