A Passion For Pleasure

by Nina Rowan

  Benjamin Hall, the Earl of Rushton, fought an assault of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. His hands clenched on the rim of his hat as he stood in the doorway and looked at her for the first time in three years.

  “Hello, my lord.” Catherine’s voice sounded uneven, less cultivated. “I assure you no one aside from Darius and Sebastian…and you…knows I am in London.”

  “I expect the situation will remain that way, madam.” Rushton advanced, anger tightening his shoulders.

  “Yes.” She rose, as if to put herself on equal footing with him. “I will do nothing to cause further difficulties.”

  “Forgive me if I find your promises less than assuring.”

  Catherine studied him, her eyes unnervingly perceptive. “You’ve been well, Darius told me. I’m glad to know that.”

  “I haven’t come here to discuss my health. I came to confirm your departure from London, which I expect will occur with great haste now that you have interfered with my family.”

  “I did nothing of the kind, Rushton. I only wanted to know what happened to Sebastian. Despite everything, they are still my children.”

  “Your children whom you deserted.” Another bolt of anger, this time on behalf of his five children. “Now you know how they all fare, and you can take your leave.”

  “I want…will you not allow me to remain in contact with them?”

  Rushton’s teeth came together hard. “They’re adults, Catherine. And though I consider you persona non grata, I have no way of preventing them from associating with you, should they choose to do so. Clearly this incident with Darius has proven that. But mark my words, if I hear the slightest hint of rumor, I will denounce you again.” Tension knotted his back. “And if you dare do a thing to harm Talia either personally or publicly, I will find a way to have you thrown into prison.”

  Catherine’s eyes flashed, but she stepped back and nodded. “Talia would never agree to see me. Neither would Alexander.”

  “To their everlasting credit.” Rushton turned to the door, hating the anger and regret churning inside him. “You’ve wreaked enough havoc upon their lives, Catherine. I suggest you never try to contact them again. You have lacerated us all with your deceit.”

  Although he didn’t see her face, he almost felt the cloud of despair that descended over her. He steeled himself against caring. Darius had told him about the death of Catherine’s husband, and while Rushton felt a degree of sorrow for the loss of a young soldier, he could not bring himself to experience any sympathy for his former wife.

  “I loved him,” she said.

  Rushton stilled. “Him.”

  “I didn’t know anything about love until I met him,” Catherine continued. “I didn’t know what love felt like. And I blame myself for that because I never expected more. I never thought that either you or I deserved more from our very dull marriage.”

  Damn her to all hell.

  “Our marriage was as it should have been,” Rushton said through gritted teeth. They’d had a marriage encased in propriety and respectability, one that produced five children and was the envy of many of his peers.

  Rushton crushed the edge of his hat in his fists. His chest ached.

  “Exactly,” Catherine said, sorrow coloring her voice. “Our marriage was as it should have been. Not as either of us should have wanted it.”

  Without looking at her again, Rushton stalked from the room. He ordered his driver to return to King Street, battling back memories of his life with Catherine, their marriage of almost thirty years, their five children.

  He smothered the persistent and painful belief that if he had done something differently—though what, he had no idea—Catherine might not have done what she did. She might not have turned to another man.

  A curse split through his mind. He pushed all such speculations aside, for what good were they now, and descended the carriage in front of his town house. The butler greeted him with the announcement that he had a visitor—Lord Fairfax, who had insisted on waiting for his return to speak with him.

  “He claims he has something very important to tell you,” Soames said as he collected Rushton’s greatcoat and hat. “I asked him to wait in the study, but shall I tell him you are not available?”

  “No, that’s all right. Thank you, Soames.” Rushton smoothed a hand down the front of his waistcoat as he approached the study.

  Fairfax stood upon his entry. A slender, hard-faced man, he extended a hand and introduced himself.

  “Fairfax, welcome. I regret that we haven’t made each other’s acquaintance before now.”

  An odd smile twisted the other man’s mouth. “I’m afraid now you might very well regret that we have.”

  Rushton frowned and moved around the other side of the desk. Fairfax lowered himself into a chair and crossed one leg over the other.

  “How is your family, Rushton?” he asked conversationally.

  Despite the innocuous tone of the question, wariness flashed through Rushton. “Well enough, thank you.”

  “I was given to understand that your son has retired from his musical career,” Fairfax continued. “Is that correct?”

  Regret constricted Rushton’s chest. He’d been so angry over the reappearance of his former wife and his sons’ disloyalty that he hadn’t thought about Sebastian’s newfound incapacity. He hadn’t wanted to. Despite what Sebastian had kept from him, Rushton never wanted to see any of his children so wretchedly harmed.

  “That is correct,” he told Fairfax.

  “What are Mr. Hall’s plans for the future, then?”

  “He is considering a clerk’s position with the Patent Office.”

  “Ah. Well, I ought to warn you that the Patent Office will likely not wish to employ him when they learn he is a criminal.”

  The final word struck Rushton like a blow, snapping his head back as his gaze collided with Fairfax’s. “What?”

  “My grandson, Andrew, has been abducted,” Fairfax said. He paused as if to enhance the effect of his next statement. “Clara and Sebastian are the ones who committed the crime.”

  An icy chill ran down Rushton’s spine. He had known something was wrong when Sebastian had left the house in such haste yesterday. And despite the shock of Fairfax’s accusation, Rushton didn’t find it necessary to question the other man. Of course Sebastian would do whatever he could for Clara and her son, even if it meant breaking the law. Sebastian was nothing if not loyal to a fault.

  A very grave fault.

  Rushton pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “How do you know this?”

  “My footman witnessed the abduction and followed them to the Paddington station, but was unable to prevent them from boarding a train. I’d thought it might have been a ruse and they would have returned to London, but they are not at Mr. Blake’s museum or your son’s town house.” Fairfax paused. “I assume they did not attempt to take shelter here?”

  “Of course not.” Tension threaded the back of Rushton’s neck as he attempted to recall everything Clara had told him. “Why would they commit such an act?”

  “Clara’s husband left Andrew in my custody,” Fairfax explained. “He knew she would not be capable of caring for Andrew herself, a supposition that Clara proved when she fled Manley Park in her grief over Mr. Winter’s death.”

  “That does not answer my question as to why she would find it necessary to resort to abducting Andrew.”

  “I have been forced to keep Andrew from her,” Fairfax replied, casting his gaze downward. His face furrowed with sadness. “He has been in a terrible state since his father’s death. I did not want him further damaged by associating with his unsound mother. Her recent actions have only proven the truth of my judgment.”

  Rushton studied the other man from beneath lowered brows. Dislike speared his chest, though he could not quite identify its source.

  “Both my footman and Andrew’s tutor saw Mr. Hall seize Andrew outside the British Museum,” Fairfax said. “Then t
hey boarded a train on the Great Western Railway, but I have no way of finding out where they might have disembarked. So I am here to ask you. Do you know where they might have gone?”

  The Great Western Railway. Rushton was silent, his gaze fixed on a paperweight that sat at the corner of his desk. He knew where Sebastian had gone. Only one place in the world had served as a sanctuary for them all.

  After a moment, Fairfax unfolded himself from the chair and stood.

  “If you don’t help me retrieve my grandson, Rushton,” he said, “I will see your son arrested and hanged.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Floreston Manor was as close as they would come to a tropical island protected by sea dragons, but it was enough. The property reminded Clara of Wakefield House, a refuge tucked away from the rest of the world, though still vulnerable to attack. She descended the stairs, her heart thumping against her corset. Fear gripped her, but the emotion was tempered by relief that Andrew was safe.

  For now. It would not be long before Fairfax thought to look for them at the Halls’ estate.

  She stepped into the drawing room, where Andrew sat curled in a chair playing with several chess pieces. Clara gazed at him for a moment, the persistent knot in her belly loosening at the sight of his tousled chestnut hair. He’d grown taller over the past year and his features had sharpened, but he was still every inch her son.

  “Are you hungry?” she asked, pausing beside him to brush her hand across his hair. “You didn’t eat much for breakfast.”

  Andrew shook his head.

  “Would you like to read a book?”

  Andrew shook his head again, his attention on arranging the chess pieces into a battle formation. Concern knotted in Clara’s throat as she tunneled her fingers through his hair.

  “I know this has been a shock, Andrew, but I assure you Mr. Hall and I will allow no harm to come to you.”

  She had hoped her revelation that she and Sebastian were married would prompt questions from Andrew, but his reaction appeared indifferent.

  “Since I left Manley Park, I’ve been trying desperately to see you,” Clara continued. “You know that, don’t you? I never wanted to leave you, but I had no choice.”

  Still no response. Clara tried to calm her rustling unease with the thought that the boy was exhausted. She bent to press her lips to his forehead. Her heart shriveled a bit when he withdrew.

  “I’ll come and find you when it’s time for lunch, all right?” she said. “If you venture outside, please stay close to the house.”

  She went to find the housekeeper and engaged in a brief discussion about when they would take lunch and dinner. She wrote a letter to Uncle Granville assuring him that she and Andrew were safe, although she made no mention of where they were.

  Clara then tried to occupy herself with some reading in order to pass the time, though she could hardly concentrate on the task for the thoughts and worries swimming through her mind. After an hour of staring at one page, she went back downstairs in search of Andrew. As she neared the drawing room, she paused at the sound of piano music. Hesitant, slow, but definitely music.

  Concealing herself within the shadows of the doorway, Clara peeked into the room. Sebastian sat beside Andrew at the piano, showing him something on the keys. He used his left hand only, his right tucked into the pocket of his coat, but the glide of his fingers produced a tune that resonated with light. Pleasure creased his eyes as he said something to Andrew and played the phrase again.

  Clara pressed a hand to her chest. A memory glowed at the back of her mind—herself as a younger woman standing in the corner to watch Sebastian Hall play the piano. Delighting in the graceful way he moved his hands over the keyboard, the ease of his posture, the effortlessness of his creation.

  She had loved him then. How could she not? He had embodied all that was good and beautiful in the world.

  And now? The darkness that had encroached upon him only enhanced his appeal, painting him with nuances of shadows and light. This new chiaroscuro strengthened Clara’s love for him, as it seemed to mirror her own soul, the blend of hope and despair that had colored so many of her days.

  You must love me without any conditions whatsoever.

  Of course she did. She had loved him for years. If Andrew hadn’t been taken from her and she had still somehow married Sebastian, the union would have fulfilled every wish that had ever sparked in her young imagination.

  She watched as Andrew put his hands on the piano keys and clumsily reproduced the phrase Sebastian had played earlier. Her heart thrummed as she waited to see if he would turn to Sebastian and say something, but the boy kept his head down and his attention focused on his hands. He listened when Sebastian spoke, responded to the instructions, but said nothing.

  What was wrong?

  The fear that had lived inside Clara since the moment she discovered Andrew’s muteness bloomed into full force. When had Andrew stopped speaking?

  Clara tried to remember the days following Richard’s death, all so filled with shock, grief, and chaos. Then the revelation that Andrew had been left in Fairfax’s custody, Clara’s desperate attempt to prevent her father from sending her away…yes, she had talked to Andrew many times during those weeks, attempting to comfort and reassure the boy.

  She blinked back tears and tried to suppress the ache of regret. She’d been wrong in her assurance that everything would be all right. She had no idea what had happened to her son during their separation. And she feared to her very bones that she might never know.

  Sebastian’s deep voice resonated in the drawing room as he placed his left hand on the keys and played another scale. Clara ducked from the shadows and hurried back to her room.

  Not until this moment did she acknowledge the secret dreams that had taken root in her soul. The dreams in which she and Andrew had closed the distance of their yearlong separation with one embrace. The dreams in which they laughed and cried, and she had reassured him she would never let anyone separate them again. And then they sat down and talked about all they had done and made plans for all they would do. Together.

  Never in those dreams had Clara believed things would be so different. Never had she imagined that her son, for whom she had desperately fought every minute of her waking hours, would have become a stranger.

  “Now remember that the linseed oil has to be dry before you put the paper on the seams.” Sebastian lifted the cut pieces of taffeta from the wooden table while Andrew spread the brown paper beneath it. “Put a sheet on the top as well. I’ll get the iron.”

  Sebastian went to the fire, where a metal iron sat heating. He brought it back to the table and told Andrew to stand back a little while he ironed the seams. A hiss and crackle rose as the iron pressed the paper, releasing the pungent smell of linseed oil.

  Since arriving at Floreston Manor yesterday, Sebastian had tried to occupy Andrew’s time with activities that would prevent the boy from worrying. He hadn’t told Andrew of his plan to leave the following day for Brixham, where they would stay with a cousin of his before making their way to France.

  Sebastian was so intent on his ironing task that the sudden falter of his hand caught him by surprise. The iron toppled to the side and fell to the floor as his grip weakened, the hot edge hitting the table. Andrew darted forward. He grabbed the handle to straighten the iron and placed it back on the table.

  His heart pounding, Sebastian rubbed his hand and stared at the paper. He’d been using his right hand without even realizing it. He swallowed hard and met Andrew’s gaze. Although he knew the boy had noticed how little he used his right hand, Sebastian had never called attention to it. Neither had Andrew.

  Andrew stepped back and nodded to the iron, as if encouraging Sebastian to finish the task. Sebastian grasped the iron with his left hand and managed to finish ironing all the seams.

  After the paper cooled, Andrew tested the seams to ensure they were airtight. He looked up at Sebastian.

  “Good,” Sebastian s
aid. “We’ll give it a coat of varnish and let it dry. The one we did this morning ought to be ready.”

  He went to the stove where a pot of lime and drying oil sat bubbling. He and Andrew each took a paintbrush and smeared the varnish over the taffeta and paper until it was thoroughly coated.

  “We’ll leave it over here.” Sebastian lifted the material and brought it to a cord he’d strung across a corner of the kitchen. He removed a dried cloth from the line and pinned up the wet one. “Or Mrs. Danvers will have a fit of apoplexy if we take possession of her workspace.”

  Andrew grinned and brought the bowl of varnish and brushes over to the washbasin. They cleaned the remainder of the mess they’d made, then Andrew took the dried material while Sebastian collected more supplies. They donned their overcoats and hats and went out into the garden. A brisk fall wind swept through the neglected beds, and the sun shone against the clear blue sky. The cold, fresh air sent a renewed energy through Sebastian, a sense of anticipation and pleasure that he thought he’d lost.

  He and Andrew walked along the flagstone paths until they came to an area of the garden that was clear of trees. Andrew began twisting the material around a hoop and attaching it with cords to a small basket that he had painted emerald green with yellow stars.

  After setting out their supplies, Sebastian dropped a pound of iron filings into a jar filled with water, then picked up a bottle of oil of vitriol with his left hand. As he forced his fingers to close around the top, Andrew appeared at his side. Without looking at him, the boy twisted off the lid of the bottle and grasped the jar.

  Something tightened in Sebastian’s chest, but it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. No embarrassment or sense that the boy pitied his inability to rely on his hand. Instead Andrew gave him a matter-of-fact nod and pushed the jar closer. After Sebastian poured the vitriol, Andrew stopped the jar with a cork and together they pressed a glass tube through the cork.