Adrian [Whitedell Pride: 8]

by Catherine Lievens

  Someone wrestled Adrian down, someone who wasn’t his mate, but when he smelled tiger, Adrian froze. He was a prey animal, so if the tiger wanted him to stay down, he’d stay down.

  Adrian blinked his eyes open, feeling as if they had been glued together. The bright light in the room made them water, making him think that maybe he should just keep them closed. It was only because he knew that Joshua was there that he finally opened them.

  Maybe he shouldn’t have, though. The first eyes he encountered were Joshua’s, and the reproach he saw in the man’s eyes pierced him right to the heart. He had acted on instinct, but he shouldn’t have. What would have happened if he had managed to bite Joshua? Adrian wrenched his gaze away from his mate’s and tried to roll over, but he butted into Jared’s hands.

  The doc was standing next to the bed, checking his vitals. He hadn’t even noticed it. Looking around, Adrian saw that there were other people in the room. Even without his glasses, he could tell that the tiger who’d pushed him down before was Soren. He smiled a sad smile at Adrian after looking from him to Joshua, and Adrian couldn’t help the blush. He hated when people pitied him, and he knew most shifters felt just that for him, because he was being pushed away by his mate.

  He could see there were another two people in the room, but without his glasses he couldn’t actually identify them. Besides, he was sure at least one of them was a complete stranger to him, unless one of the members of the pride had dyed his hair bright pink. Shit, the color was so bright he could see it even from a distance, even though it was blurry.

  “What happened?” Soren asked, and Adrian was so glad for the distraction he could have cried. He wasn’t used to feeling so...emotional, so it was probably a side effect of the serum, or maybe the fact that he was now a shifter, but he wasn’t sure he liked it. It had already been hard enough to talk with Joshua before—now he had to add assaulting his mate to the long list of reasons why Joshua hated him. Maybe once he reached a hundred reasons he would get a prize or something. That would be nice. Maybe Fate would give him another mate, one that would like him anyway, one that wouldn’t judge him.

  “Adrian? Are you having problems answering?” Jared asked, and Adrian realized that he still hadn’t answered Soren’s question. He really was all over the place today, and the fact that his squirrel was literally scratching at his mind to get to Joshua wasn’t helping.

  “I’m fine.” Adrian sat up and scrubbed his face with the palm of his hands. “I decided that I couldn’t do it anymore, even if it cost Gabriel his life, so I deleted and threw away everything I could before going back home. My car was already packed, but two of the company’s guards or whatever they are followed me home. They tried to stop me from getting away and I ended up taking the syringe with the last of the serum and threatening to stab myself in the throat.”

  Joshua sucked in a deep breath and Adrian hurried to reassure him. “I wouldn’t have done it. I have too much work to do, too many people to help. I want to make amends. Anyway, the needle was against my throat and the guy tried to grab me. He ended up pushing the needle in me instead. I drove as far and as fast as I could but I had to stop because the serum started working. That’s it.”

  “Where were you going to go?” Soren asked.

  “Actually, I was hoping the pride would take me in, at least for a while.”

  Joshua made a sound that was half disgust and half derision, and Adrian wanted to sink into the bed and disappear. Did he really have to ridicule him in front of everyone? Wasn’t it enough that he had denied Adrian as his mate?

  The glance Soren shot Joshua could have killed him, but it was soft again when he turned back to Adrian. The tiger leaned down and grabbed Adrian’s hand, squeezing it. “I’m sure Dominic will let you stay. We know you did what you did because you had to, and not because you wanted to, and we really need another doc.”

  “That’s right. Lately we’ve been rescuing so many shifters that I have a hard time taking care of all of them. Then we have the humans that have been injected with your serum, like Troy. We still don’t know what his animal is.” Jared continued checking on Adrian while he talked. Finally he nodded. “You’re fine. I guess the transition is over now.”

  “Are you all finished gossiping?” Joshua snarled, his eyes fixed on Adrian and Soren’s twined hands. Was that...jealousy? No, it couldn’t be. “Maybe you’d rather stay here and wait for the company to come and get us?”

  “Geesh, what crawled up in your ass and died, man? Have you always been this bitchy? I feel for whoever your mate is going to be,” Pink Hair answered, making it clear he was new to the pride.

  Adrian wanted to answer, but the guys started moving. Jared got his things together and Soren knelt to help him, letting Adrian’s hand go. They offered the bag to Pink Hair and gathered around him. Joshua was still next to Adrian when the window literally exploded.

  Glass flew everywhere as men dressed in black jumped in the room, and Adrian heard Joshua scream to Soren and the others to get the fuck out as Joshua jumped on top of him to protect him. It was too much for Adrian. He tried, but it was impossible for him to stop the shift. His body shrank and got furry, and soon he was huddled under Joshua’s chest.

  * * * *

  What the fuck? Adrian had just...melted under Joshua, and he nearly laughed at seeing what type of shifter the man was. Nearly, because he didn’t actually have the time to laugh if he wanted to get out of this. The others had all been shimmered out by Nysys, but Joshua and Adrian had been separated from the group, and now they were kind of stuck.

  Joshua rolled from the bed, grabbing the small ball of fur as he went. He managed to crouch next to the bed that was closer to the door, then he waited for the men to enter the room. Why on earth had they used the window? It made it so much easier for him to open the door and sneak out.

  That was exactly what Joshua did. Squeezing Adrian close, he dashed out the door and ran for Adrian’s car. He’d been smart enough to check were the car was as soon as he’d shimmered into the room, and he’d grabbed the keys as soon as the room started exploding around them. Well, not literally, but the feeling was similar.

  He was actually surprised he’d managed to get over the deep-seated fear for his mate’s safety and move, but he guessed it made sense. Joshua had spent several years in the army and he was used to this type of stressful situation. The fact that his mate was involved only made it more important that they get out of there.

  Joshua didn’t have any problems getting the car open and sliding into the driver’s seat. People had already started to come out of their rooms, attracted by the noise, so no one noticed when Joshua started the car and exited the parking lot. Luckily for Adrian it seemed that the man hadn’t taken anything with him when he’d arrived at his room, so he would have clothes once he shifted back.

  Joshua looked down at the fur ball huddled on his chest. Adrian was a red squirrel, just like the ones that ran in the woods near the mansion. He was damn cute, but Joshua couldn’t help but wonder why on earth Adrian had chosen to add squirrel DNA to his serum, of all animals. Why not something bigger and more dangerous? It would have been easier for him to defend himself, but then it wasn’t like he’d planned to inject himself and become a shifter...right? Shit, the whole situation was so confusing!

  Joshua wanted to keep his distance, but right now he had to help Adrian, and his cat had never been so happy. It was purring inside him, basking in their mate’s vicinity, especially when Adrian moved and crept up Joshua’s chest until he tucked himself into Joshua’s neck. How was he supposed to resist this?

  Sighing, Joshua checked that no one was following them before taking his phone from his pocket and dialing Dominic’s number.

  “Joshua.”

  “I guess you already know what happened.”

  “I do. The guys got here a little while ago and told me. We didn’t send anyone because we weren’t sure of the situation, but if you want we ca
n come and get you now.”

  Joshua looked at the boxes stashed in the back of the car. Those were all the possessions Adrian had wanted to take with him. “I have to drive the car home. Adrian packed his things, and we can’t just leave them some place where the company would find them.” He just couldn’t take them away from Adrian. He had already abandoned his life—Joshua didn’t want him to lose the few things he’d managed to save. He was already going to have a hard time getting used to being a shifter.

  “Okay. Will the two of you be okay, or do you want me to send someone else? Soren could come.”

  Joshua thought about how the tiger had taken Adrian’s hand and felt a flash of jealousy. “We’ll be fine. I’ll just drive until Adrian manages to shift back, then we’ll swap. We’ll be home in a day if everything goes well.”

  “Let me know if you need anything.”

  “Will do.”

  Joshua threw his phone on the seat next to him. He jerked a bit when he felt a cold, damp nose against his cheek. Adrian moved, sadness in his small, black eyes, and Joshua watched him climb around the seat and settle on the floor in the back, out of his sight. Great. Now he felt guilty for treating the man like shit. As if he needed more of that. He knew his heart was melting for Adrian, but he didn’t want that. He couldn’t mate the man. Maybe he should call Dominic back and ask him to send Soren. That way he wouldn’t be tempted to do more than he should with Adrian. Maybe the two would hit it off. Adrian might not be Soren’s mate, but it didn’t seem like Soren would have a problem with that.

  Joshua had to grit his teeth at the thought of the two men together. “Are you going to shift back?” Adrian didn’t answer, annoying the hell out of Joshua. “Fine. If you want to sulk, stay back there as long as you want. It’s not like I care anyway.”

  They were silent after that. Joshua didn’t know what Adrian was thinking about, but he couldn’t stop seeing Soren with Adrian. He had to keep convincing himself that it would be better for everyone, but his leopard wasn’t making things easy on him, and his heart was close behind. Adrian was so sweet and cute, the little bit of naiveté he kept on showing so endearing. It made Joshua want to stay beside Adrian always, because he needed a protector. The way he was both so intelligent yet naïve was compelling, and as the road passed by, he couldn’t stop thinking about what he was doing, why he was rejecting Adrian.

  When he finally stopped at a motel, he was harder than before, more resolved. He had made peace with the fact that even if he was drawn to Adrian, he couldn’t trust the man not to use him as an experiment, not even now that he was a shifter too. He would never be able to trust him, so he pushed away any newborn feelings he could have for the man until they were buried deep inside. His cat growled and bitched, but Joshua didn’t care. He couldn’t let himself be forced by the leopard.

  He got out of the car and checked on Adrian. The man—squirrel—was huddled tight on the floor of the car, sleeping, so Joshua left him and went to book a room. He then searched the car to find Adrian’s clothes and brought everything in the room before reaching down and scooping Adrian up. The squirrel jerked and tried to run away, but Joshua held tight. He didn’t want to lose Adrian in the dark.

  Adrian seemed to surrender and stayed put until Joshua dumped him on one of the twin beds in the room. When he still made no attempt to shift back to his human form, Joshua sighed. He was going to have to insist. “You have to shift back. It won’t do you any good if you stay in your animal form too long, especially if it’s your first shift.” Adrian just ignored him, and Joshua felt the anger rise. “Stop acting like a kid and shift back.” He nearly winced when he heard the tone of his voice. It had come out harsher and colder than he wanted, but at least it seemed to have worked.

  The air shimmered lightly around Adrian as he shifted, his body growing and the fur disappearing. Joshua swallowed hard when he saw the creamy skin exposed, the long legs that would feel so good wrapped around his waist and the full lips that were made for kissing. He didn’t have the time to really appreciate it, though, and maybe he should have felt glad for it. Adrian ran to the bathroom door, leaving the image of his naked body imprinted in Joshua’s mind. He slammed the door closed, but Joshua did hear the soft sobs before Adrian started the water in the shower and drowned the sound away. It was a direct hit to his heart, and it hurt. It hurt that he could not have his mate, that he could not hold him in his arms and reassure him that everything was going to be all right.

  * * * *

  It hurt. It hurt so bad that Adrian couldn’t contain the tears that fell from his eyes as soon as he slammed the bathroom door closed. He started the water in the shower stall so that Joshua wouldn’t hear him cry. He didn’t want the man to know how much he was hurting him.

  It had hurt when Adrian was fully human, because he’d known what mates were and what they meant for shifters, but now it hurt even more. Adrian felt drawn to Joshua, like Joshua was something he needed to go on living, something vital he’d been missing until now. The fact that Joshua was probably feeling the same thing but still managed to reject Adrian...yeah, it showed exactly how much he didn’t want Adrian, and how much he was willing to do to stay away from him.

  Adrian stepped into the water, sliding down to the tiled floor and hugging his knees as he let everything out. Maybe that way it would be easier to face Joshua when he got out of the bathroom. Adrian cried for what seemed like hours, not only because his mate didn’t want him, but also for his brother and for the lives he had destroyed over the two years he had worked for the company.

  Adrian had wanted to run away from them for so long, and he had thought that it would be a good idea to stay with the pride, but now he wasn’t so sure anymore. Maybe he should just shift into his new squirrel form and stay that way. He didn’t have any family left except for Gabriel, and he was probably dead by now. Adrian didn’t have friends, or even a life that wasn’t linked to the company. No one would miss him, and life as a squirrel would be so much easier.

  After crying so much, Adrian felt slightly better, even if now he was thirsty. He shut the water off and drank from the tap in the sink before sitting down on the closed toilet and considering his options. There was the squirrel life, but even if it looked good right now, Adrian knew it was a little extreme. He could try to disappear, maybe find a little house somewhere isolated, and live alone, but that way he would be in trouble if the company ever found him. That left a third option. Adrian could go and live with shifters, maybe not the Whitedell pride, because it would be too hard to see Joshua every day and to watch as he went out with men that weren’t Adrian. He could ask Dominic to find him another pride, or maybe a pack.

  Adrian rubbed his sternum. The pain he had felt at Joshua’s rejection had settled there and had not moved since then. He felt it almost as if it was a physical pain, but nothing could make it better, except maybe time. He couldn’t stay in the bathroom all day, so even though he didn’t want to see Joshua, Adrian got up and opened the door. He was relieved to see that Joshua had closed the curtains and was lying in one of the beds, apparently asleep.

  Adrian didn’t waste time slipping into the other bed, grabbing his cell phone as he went. He was lucky Joshua had pocketed it when he had found him. Bringing it to life, he saw that he had had a text message from Soren. Adrian had somehow become friends with the tiger when he’d accompanied him back to New York. Adrian was thankful Soren had come along, since Joshua hadn’t even looked in his direction for the whole nearly six hours of flight. They had exchanged phone numbers, and they talked and exchanged text messages nearly every day since then.

  How r u, doc? Dominic told me u made it out.

  Adrian smiled. Maybe he did have someone who would miss him if he went on the path of squirrel life. I’m fine.

  J’s brooding?

  He’s an ass. Made it clear that he still doesn’t want me. Why didn’t he ask Dominic to have someone else bring my car?

  He’s an as
s, but maybe staying with him 4 a while will help.

  How? Soren was a hopeless romantic. He liked girly movies and love songs, flowers and candies. He had told Adrian more than once that Joshua would eventually realize he was wrong. Yeah, Adrian could see that. Not.

  He didn’t ask to come home, so maybe he wants to be with u. I’m sure he feels the bond and he needs to keep u safe.

  Adrian snorted. Soren just couldn’t help himself. Yeah, right. You would have kept me safe just as well, and at least you actually like me.

  U know I would have. Damn, if I had found my mate, I would never hurt him like J is doing right now.

  Adrian sighed. I wish you would have been my mate.

  I would have liked that 2. Maybe when u come home we can go out or something?

  Adrian stared at the tiny screen in shock. Soren wanted to go out with him? He was asking him out? He really didn’t know what to say. Maybe.

  “Are you done with that fucking thing? Who the fuck are you talking to?” Joshua grumbled from his bed, and Adrian had the insane desire to tell him to go to hell and to let him talk to his boyfriend in peace. Not that Soren was Adrian’s boyfriend, but it would teach Joshua to keep out of his business.

  The warm feeling that had appeared during the conversation with Soren had pushed a bit of the pain away from Adrian’s chest, and he was feeling a little lighter.

  U still there?

  Yeah, but I’m going to sleep now. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.

  Can’t wait.

  The smiley at the end of the message made Adrian smile. Yeah, he couldn’t wait either. At last he had something to anticipate, to look forward to, something good. Maybe not everything was as dark as he had thought only minutes ago. He didn’t know where this...thing—whatever it was—with Soren was going to go, and maybe they would only ever be friends, but it would be fine anyway. He needed friends, and honestly he wasn’t even sure he was ready to get over Joshua yet. Still, it was nice to think that someone wanted him.