“I understand,” Nate said. “I plan to do my part.”
“She’s in love with you, you know.”
Nate laughed and, this time, he did look over at her. “Now that’s where you’re wrong, Roberta. Hallie’s hated me for years.”
“Hated you? Or hated what you did to her?”
I was crazy about you. Hallie’s confession flashed through Nate’s mind, leaving a twinge of panic in its wake.
“This is going to come as a surprise, but Hallie and I have already talked about the situation. We both agree Ahn is our top priority. She’s all we’re interested in. Nothing more.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Roberta said. “Hallie needs a friend right now, not a lover. And you’re going to need Hallie’s friendship, too, even though I suspect that’s hard for you to admit.”
Nate didn’t try to argue with her.
Everything she was saying now was true.
“I know how much you loved your brother and I know how much you’re going to miss him,” she said. “And I also know what you went through trying to raise him. You did a fine job of that, Nate.”
He didn’t like dragging up the memories of how hard it had been living with a mother who was so depressed she stayed in bed for weeks at a time. Of how he’d gone from a boy to a man overnight after his father’s death. How he’d learned to cook and clean and take over every facet of his younger brother’s care as well as his own.
His childhood had been painful for him, and Nate had spent his adulthood trying to forget it.
They rode in silence after that. A long, painful silence. He’d let Roberta have her say—respected her too much to do any differently. But there wasn’t much left for them to talk about.
Roberta was a hard woman to like because of her abrasive way of speaking her mind and the high standards she held people to. But she was a good woman to have in your corner—she’d defend one of her own to the ends of the earth. Nate only hoped Hallie realized how lucky she was to have Roberta. He would have given anything if he’d had a mother who’d been so protective of him.
Finally, Nate pulled up in front of Roberta’s complex. He was as relieved as Roberta seemed surprised to find The Colonel sitting on a bench outside, patiently awaiting their arrival.
Even though the man was in his seventies, Nate would have pegged him as military at a single glance. The Colonel’s gray hair was clipped short, his shirt starched, the crease pressed into his pants razor-sharp. He stood up as Nate came to a stop, shoulders back, head held high, ready to take command of the situation.
Nate got out and walked to the rear of the SUV for Roberta’s luggage. The Colonel’s handshake was firm and strong. Roberta was so flattered over her new beau fawning over her, Nate was saved from any parting schoolteacher lectures. But her final reply was enough.
“I’ll be checking in on things,” she said.
Nate knew it wasn’t an idle threat and she was referring to more than Ahn’s care.
As he headed back to Wedge Pond, everything Roberta had said reverberated through Nate’s mind. Regardless of what Roberta thought, he didn’t believe for one minute that Hallie was in love with him. In lust—definitely.
But not in love.
Roberta acted as if Hallie had been pining for him all these years. What a laugh that was. Hallie had never been lacking for male attention any more than he’d suffered for lack of female attention.
Roberta’s problem was her old-school outlook on life. She hadn’t accepted the fact that, yes, it was perfectly normal for healthy men and women to have sex without being madly in love with each other.
Still, she was right about Hallie needing a friend, and not a lover. And she’d need all the help he could give her with Ahn.
Nate was willing to be Hallie’s friend, and he was willing to help with Ahn.
He’d do his best to leave it at that.
CHAPTER SEVEN
HALLIE FRANTICALLY CHECKED her watch every few seconds as she paced around the back deck, bouncing a crying baby on her hip. Where the hell was Nate? His cell phone was obviously off since her call had gone straight to voice mail. There hadn’t been any point in leaving him a message, however. Nate wouldn’t have been able to hear above Ahn’s piercing screams.
She’d briefly thought of trying Roberta’s cell, before dismissing that option.
If she called after only minutes of being left alone with Ahn for the first time, she’d never be able to live it down.
So where the hell was Nate? Ahn had been crying nonstop practically from the moment Nate and Roberta left. Three hours ago. And Hallie didn’t have a clue what was wrong. After they’d waved goodbye to Roberta all of a sudden Ahn’s tiny face had screwed up into an angry frown, her lower lip had trembled, then the screaming had commenced.
Hallie had checked her diaper. She’d felt Ahn’s head for any signs of a fever. She’d looked the baby over from head to toe. As far as she could tell, there wasn’t a single thing wrong.
“Please stop crying,” Hallie begged, adding a little more bounce to her jostling.
Ahn only cried louder.
“Oh, look. There’s a birdie.” Hallie turned Ahn toward the birdfeeder.
Ahn’s loud wail sent the bird flapping.
“You want to play in your sandbox?” Hallie cooed, heading for the large plastic pink and green castle that David had set up on the far end of the deck. “You love to play in your sandbox.”
Ahn drew her legs up in protest, her feet never touching the sand.
“Poor baby, I know you miss your mommy. I miss her, too. And I promise I’ll find you a new mommy. A mommy who will be much better at this than I am. But you have to work with me here, Ahn. I’m doing the best I can. And if you’ll just have a little patience, everything is going to get much better than it is right now.”
If possible, Ahn’s wail reached an even higher octave.
Hallie was on the verge of bursting into tears when Nate’s Range Rover finally pulled into the driveway. She hurried down the steps in Nate’s direction.
He jumped out of the vehicle, a worried expression on his face as he ran to meet them. “What’s wrong?”
“Take her,” Hallie demanded, holding the baby out in front of her. “She’s been crying since you left.”
He looked reluctant, but Hallie pushed Ahn into Nate’s arms anyway. The second Nate took her, Ahn stopped crying, placed her head against Nate’s shoulder, and stuck her thumb in her mouth.
“I knew it!” Hallie exclaimed. “I didn’t want to believe it, but it’s true. Ahn can sense how nervous I am taking care of her. That’s why she freaked out when she looked around and realized it was just the two of us.” Nate frowned. “And how did you reach that conclusion?”
“From one of the million baby books I’ve been reading all week. It plainly states children can pick up on a person’s apprehension. It scares them.”
“If that were true, she’d still be crying,” Nate said. “I’m certainly not comfortable holding her.”
“But she obviously feels safe with you.”
Ahn snuffled a few times as if to agree.
“You’re overreacting, Hallie. Kids cry. They don’t need a reason.”
Hallie shook her head. “No, I’m right about this. Ahn’s having one of those drastic mood swings Dr. Langston mentioned. And I obviously don’t have the touch to calm her down.”
“Prove it,” Nate said, handing Ahn over.
Hallie tensed as she slowly eased Ahn onto her hip. Ahn sniffed again, but didn’t break out the tears. She looked at Nate, then at Hallie, her thumb still in her mouth.
“See?” Nate said. “Kids cry. It’s what kids do.”
“Not this kid,” Hallie said. “This is the first time I’ve heard her cry. I think she feels safer because you’re here and you look like David.”
“Or maybe she’s just hungry.”
“I don’t think so,” Hallie said. “She ate a pretty good breakfast.”
“But now it’s time for lunch,” Nate said. “Are you hungry?”
“No, Roberta,” Hallie said drolly. “I’m not hungry.”
“Well, I am. And it’s time for Ahn to eat, too. Let’s go inside and I’ll fix you and I some lunch while you feed Ahn.” Nate started for the house, ending the subject.
Hallie quickly caught up. “Okay, Nate. What’s going on? You always eat lunch alone at the cottage. So confess. What lecture did Roberta give you on her way home?”
He ignored her question and opened the French doors that led into the house. Hallie entered ahead of him, aware she wasn’t going to get an answer. That was Nate’s M.O. If he didn’t want to answer, he simply ignored the question.
Fine. Let him ignore her. He’d been doing so since the day she met him.
Hallie headed toward the kitchen. The fact that he’d offered to make lunch already confirmed that Roberta had indeed given him one of her lectures on their trip into Boston. And good for her.
After listening to Ahn scream for three long hours, Hallie was desperate for any help Nate offered—today and beyond.
“Would you like some juice?” Hallie asked as she cautiously placed Ahn into her high chair. She promptly took her thumb out of her mouth, which Hallie took to mean yes.
She went to fill Ahn’s sippy cup. After the morning they’d had, however, Hallie wasn’t looking forward to the lunchtime struggle with the organic peas and carrots on Ahn’s recommended lunch menu. She took the baby food jars from the cabinet, placed a scoop of each on either side of Ahn’s divided dish, and stirred them with a baby spoon she took from the silverware drawer. Once she’d warmed the vegetables in the microwave, Hallie walked to Ahn, keeping the dish hidden behind her back.
“Juice,” Hallie said, placing the sippy cup in front of Ahn. “Can you say juice?”
Ahn picked up the cup and started drinking.
Hallie eased the dish onto the tray and took a seat. Ahn watched her, still swilling the juice.
“That’s enough juice for now,” Hallie said, taking the cup away from Ahn. “Let’s try some peas.”
Hallie dipped the spoon into the green goo and angled it toward Ahn’s mouth. Ahn turned her head and pushed Hallie’s hand away.
Hallie sighed and glanced at Nate, who had a myriad of sandwich items spread out on the island. “I have an idea,” Hallie said him. “Why don’t you feed Ahn, and I’ll make our lunch?”
“Me?”
“Wasn’t that our agreement?” Hallie reminded him. “That we would share the responsibility for Ahn’s care?”
“Yes,” he said, “but it was your decision that I stay out of Roberta’s way all week. You have to give me time to catch up.”
“Pay attention, this is real difficult,” Hallie said. “Dip the spoon into the food, then put the spoon into the baby’s mouth.”
“Cute.”
Hallie held up the spoon and smiled at him.
Nate didn’t smile back. But he wiped his hands on a towel and approached. Hallie immediately abandoned her perch and let him sit.
She didn’t immediately take over making their lunch. Instead, she stood behind him, arms folded, smiling to herself. Although he hadn’t come right out and said it, she’d gotten the impression he thought she was making too big a deal about the child-care basics. Something about his attitude suggested she was overreacting to the simplest things—such as feeding or changing Ahn. Well, he’d learn. He was about to discover there were few things in life more resistant or spirit-breaking than a stubborn toddler.
Nate picked up the spoon and dipped it into the peas. When he moved the spoon forward Ahn opened her mouth. In the spoon went, and Ahn swallowed.
Hallie gasped. “How did you do that?”
Nate looked over his shoulder. “Pay attention, this is real difficult.” He dipped the spoon into the peas and Ahn took another mouthful.
“Not funny.” Hallie stomped toward the island to finish their sandwiches. Yes, she was being a baby. But she didn’t care. It wasn’t fair. She’d worked hard all week trying to bond with Ahn. She’d hugged the girl and kissed her and read to her and praised her and changed her and bathed her and dressed her and tried to feed her those damn organic veggies.
Hallie watched Nate feed her the freaking carrots.
You little flirt, Hallie thought.
Apparently, Ahn was no different from any other woman. All it took was one look from Nate and she was willing to do anything he wanted.
NATE WAS STILL AMAZED over Ahn’s response to him. First, when he held her and she stopped crying, then when she let him feed her.
Maybe her reaction to him really was because he and David looked alike. Deb had mentioned how attached Ahn had become to David. It made Nate regret he hadn’t been more involved in Ahn’s care until now.
She’d yawned as soon as he finished feeding her, her dark eyes heavy as she tried to fight off sleep. And when Hallie had fretted because nothing had happened on schedule that morning, including Ahn’s outside morning playtime, Nate had assured Hallie he would supervise outside playtime after Ahn slept.
Hallie had looked relieved enough to kiss him. Thank God, she hadn’t. Instead she’d taken Ahn upstairs for her nap.
Nate lingered in the kitchen, cleaning up, while he waited for Hallie’s return so they could finally eat their own meal. While they ate, he intended to clear up something for his own peace of mind.
“Well, that was easy,” Hallie said as she walked into the room. “Ahn was asleep as soon as I laid her down. Probably worn-out from all of the crying.”
She placed the baby monitor on the bar and took a seat on the stool across from him. It crossed Nate’s mind that Hallie was looking more like her old self every day. She’d gotten a little sun this week being outside with Ahn—she’d always tanned easily and it looked good on her.
Her appearance today reminded him of last summer when he’d been home for a brief stay between assignments. He’d walked up on Hallie and some muscle-bound narcissist sunbathing on the deck. The guy had come with her to visit David and Janet for the weekend. Hallie had been lying on her stomach, the top of her bikini unfastened, the guy rubbing lotion on her sleek, bronze back. His physical reaction, then and now, pushed him to address the issue that had been plaguing him since his discussion with Roberta this morning.
“Are you in love with me, Hallie?”
“You wish,” she said and took a bite of her sandwich.
“I’m serious,” Nate said.
She looked up at him and swallowed, twice. “Oh. My. God. You are serious.”
“ROBERTA THINKS YOU’RE in love with me.”
Hallie carefully set her sandwich on her plate. “Oh, yeah? Well, Roberta also thinks we had a fling ten years ago and that’s why I’ve asked for family leave so I can play house, as she calls it, with you. That should tell you how much stock to put in Roberta’s theories. But you can relax. I’m not in love with you. I’m only now beginning to like you.”
“Same here,” he said with a grin.
Hallie grabbed her paper napkin and threw it at him.
Nate was quick enough to dodge it.
“Did you really think I was in love with you?”
“No,” he said. “And I told Roberta that. But I needed to check with you face-to-face so I wouldn’t have any doubts.”
“And?”
“You passed with flying colors.”
“I suppose I should ask the same. Are you in love with me?”
“No.”
“Hmm. I’m sorry, but that didn’t sound so convincing to me.” Hallie had rattled him and she liked it.
“Hell no, then?”
“Better,” Hallie teased. “But with more feeling next time.”
His expression changed like flipping a light switch. Nate’s voice turned husky when he said, “More feeling is what I’m trying to avoid, Hallie.”
Hallie held his gaze. “And how’s that going for you?”
He did
n’t look away. “Hard and slow.”
“I bet it would be.”
They kept staring at each other. Too long—and they both knew it.
“Okay, you win,” he said, pushing back from the bar. “I can’t take it.”
“You started it,” Hallie reminded him.
“And now I’m stopping it.”
He took his plate and sandwich with him as he headed for the door.
“I’ll call you on the intercom when Ahn wakes up.”
He threw his hand up, but didn’t look back.
The second the door closed, Hallie picked up another napkin and fanned herself. Nate had made her so hot just looking at her that there was no doubt in her mind the sex would be mind-blowing—something she’d briefly experienced in the back of that taxi.
But passion was fleeting.
Nate was gorgeous. He was brilliant. And he was sexy as hell. But you could stare at a handsome face, listen to an intelligent conversation and screw yourself into oblivion—only so long without eventually wanting something more.
Death had a way of pushing you to examine what you wanted out of life, reminding you of the urgency before it was too late. Hallie had done that this past week. Some things held true. Some things surprised her.
She still didn’t see herself married with children or living in the suburbs. Though she realized her career wasn’t the be-all and end-all she thought it was—otherwise she wouldn’t have put it on hold to take care of Ahn—she knew having a career would always be important to her.
The surprise came when she realized that she could see herself sharing her life with the right man. She’d never admitted that to herself before. For her the right man would love her unconditionally, allow her to be who she was and not try to change her.
Maybe she’d find a guy like that someday. Maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe she’d go back to being a producer at the station. Maybe she’d branch out and start a new career.
At this point, there was simply no way to know. There were too many variables and too much that had yet to be decided for her to start planning the next phase of her life.
But she had made one decision as a result of her decision to stay and take care of Ahn. As much as she loved her apartment, it made no sense to keep it. She’d been back to her apartment only once after the funeral to get her clothes, clean out her refrigerator, make sure everything was turned off and unplugged. She would make a trip into Boston soon to make arrangements for her things to move into storage so she could sublet her apartment.
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