Adopted Parents

by Candy Halliday

  In Winchester she was Janet’s poor sister. Ahn’s incompetent caregiver. And Nate’s…

  Unfortunately, at the moment, Hallie wasn’t sure what she was to Nate. She’d thought she knew. She’d thought she was his friend, his lover and the person he wanted to share his life with.

  But he’d slept with his back to her last night. And she hadn’t made things worse by trying to talk the situation to death, as he’d once put it. Nate had, however, been in a little bit better mood at breakfast.

  He’d kissed her and told her to have a good day when she’d left. He’d even walked her to the car, carrying Ahn and instructing Ahn to wave goodbye. They’d both still been waving as Hallie backed out of the driveway.

  As selfish as it was, the second she drove away from Wedge Pond, Hallie’s only thought was that finally she was free. Free to be herself. Free to do what she did best. Free to step out of Janet’s life and into her own.

  She’d called them at home at lunchtime, surprised to get the answering machine. Her call to Nate’s cell phone had also gone straight to voice mail. But that really didn’t worry Hallie. Nate was forever either forgetting to turn his cell phone on, or leaving it in the house or the car when he did remember to take it with him. The habit was probably a holdover from spending years in remote areas with no cell phone service.

  She’d sent him a text message about an hour ago, but she’d yet to get a reply back. It told Hallie Nate was probably still pouting.

  She’d lain awake after he’d gone to sleep last night, thinking about all the possibilities their future together could hold if they could find the right parents for Ahn. They could sell the house on Wedge Pond. They could buy one of those great brownstones in Back Bay that would be close to the station so she’d have a short commute.

  A brownstone would be perfect for them, not too big, but with enough space to breathe. There would be plenty of room for all of Nate’s camera equipment, even a darkroom if he wanted one—he still liked to dabble in black-and-white film. Plus, Ahn would be able to have her own bedroom for times when she came for sleepover visits, which Hallie intended to be often.

  When Nate was out of the country on assignment, she could fly to be with him. Or if his location was too dangerous, they could always meet somewhere else to spend a few days together. Hallie could even bring Ahn with her once she was older. What a great opportunity that would be for Ahn to experience different countries and different cultures.

  Didn’t Nate understand that?

  Didn’t he understand that they could still be a big part of Ahn’s life after the readoption? Did he really not see how much better Ahn’s life would be if she had the right parents to raise her?

  Hallie propped her elbows on her desk, closed her eyes and reached up to massage her temples. She opened her eyes when she felt the vibration of her cell phone lying next to her on the desk.

  Hallie picked up the phone. Nate’s text message read:

  Been 2 park 4 picnic. C U 2nite. Miss U.

  Hallie closed the phone with a sigh.

  “I miss you, too, Nate,” she said out loud. “Please don’t end up making me miss you forever.”

  HALLIE DIDN’T KNOW what to expect when she arrived home a little before six that evening. This was the first time Nate had taken care of Ahn by himself all day.

  She braced herself for the mess she’d probably find, both in the kitchen and in the den. She knew how hard it was to take care of a toddler who was on the run constantly and get anything else done.

  Usually it was after dinner while Nate was giving Ahn her bath before she had time to pick up all of Ahn’s toys and get the downstairs in some kind of shape so Gladys wouldn’t have a fit. She’d been working with Ahn, teaching her to pick up her toys and put them into the box beside the fireplace. That usually resulted in Ahn taking more toys out than she was putting in.

  But when Hallie walked into the den, the mess she’d expected wasn’t there. The room was toy-free, clear and neat.

  “I’m home,” she called out, walking toward the kitchen, another area that was also relatively tidy.

  She smiled when Nate walked out of the dining room.

  He held out his arms and Hallie walked into them.

  “Where’s Ahn?” Hallie asked, kissing him.

  “Already in her high chair,” he said. “We were waiting for you.”

  Hallie accepted a kiss back. “Everything looks great around here. I’m extremely impressed.”

  “Thanks,” he said and kissed her again. “Want to go up and change first?”

  “No,” Hallie said. “Just let me wash my hands.”

  Hallie kicked off her heels and padded barefoot toward the bathroom off the kitchen. “I’ll be there to kiss you in a minute, sweet girl,” Hallie called to Ahn.

  She was even more impressed when she walked into the dining room a few minutes later.

  “Wow,” Hallie said. “Candlelight and the good china? What did I do to deserve this?”

  That was when Hallie saw the dog.

  A big black dog. A big black dog sitting beside Ahn’s high chair as if he belonged there.

  Hallie’s gaze cut to Nate.

  “The Humane Society was at the park when Ahn and I went on our picnic. The minute Ahn saw him, she pointed and said, ‘Buster.’”

  Buster was the black Lab in Ahn’s favorite book.

  “That’s your explanation? Ahn pointed to a dog, so you walked over and adopted it and brought him home? If she’d pointed to an elephant and said, ‘Toby,’ would you have brought it home, too?”

  Toby was the elephant in Ahn’s second-favorite book.

  “I thought you were real big on adoption, Hallie.”

  So that was it.

  The dog was her payback.

  “I am, Nate. Completely.”

  “Then you shouldn’t have a problem with Buster.”

  “Did you even stop to think the dog might hurt her, Nate? You don’t know this dog’s temperament.”

  “I’m not stupid, Hallie. He’s a retired service dog, okay? The old man he was assigned to died, and the family didn’t want him. That’s how he ended up for adoption.”

  Hallie wasn’t convinced. “But couldn’t they have assigned him to someone else? I know dogs like him are expensive.”

  Nate shook his head. “He’s at the age where they consider him too old to reassign. He’s paid his dues. It’s time he simply enjoyed life.”

  Hallie looked at the dog. He was staring at her expectantly, his tail wagging slightly as if he knew exactly what was going on. Ahn leaned down and fed him a piece of pasta. His tail wagged again.

  Hallie looked back at Nate. “And what do you intend to do with him later?”

  And Nate knew exactly what later meant.

  “If later happens,” he said, “that’s when I’ll worry about it.”

  He pulled out her chair and Hallie walked over to it.

  Their relationship was quickly beginning to unravel at the seams. And short of calling off the readoption, there was nothing Hallie could do to stop it.

  NATE REACHED OVER and turned off the light. Tonight, Hallie rolled over with her back to him. Staring at the baby monitor screen on her bedside table reminded her why.

  Ahn was fast asleep in the new trundle bed they’d purchased when she’d fallen out of her crib climbing over the railing. And a now clean Buster was stretched out on the sheets of the pulled-out bottom mattress.

  She might have lost the argument about keeping the dog, but not without establishing some rules—the first of which was the bath Nate and Ahn had given him immediately after dinner. She’d also made certain that Nate knew it was his responsibility to feed and take care of the dog. And the first time he peed or pooped in the house, chewed up anything or showed any sign that he wasn’t tolerant of a two-year-old, he was out of there.

  It wasn’t that she didn’t like the dog. He’d immediately won her over with his big, sad eyes. But Buster was one more nail Nate wa
s constantly driving into the readoption coffin. Instead of making after-adoption plans for their futures—three of them—he was sticking his head in the sand, pretending the readoption wasn’t going to happen.

  And maybe it wouldn’t.

  Hallie was prepared for that possibility. If those were the cards dealt to them, she would make the best of it. But Ahn deserved better than being raised by two people who were trying to make the best of it. Hallie had lived that life with her father and Roberta.

  She was still staring at a sleeping Ahn and her new roommate when Nate’s arm slid around her waist, pulling her against him. Hallie told herself to push him away and send him a message that she didn’t appreciate him blindsiding her with the dog. He could have called first. Of course he hadn’t—he’d known exactly what her answer would have been.

  He nuzzled against her neck, taking the tiny bites that he knew drove her crazy. And when he nibbled at her ear, Hallie could already feel herself caving.

  “I should have called you about the dog,” he said.

  “Yes, you should have,” Hallie told him, but she was already thinking how withholding sex as punishment had always seemed petty to her.

  So they’d had an argument. That didn’t mean she didn’t still love him and want his body. All Nate had to do was touch her to set her on fire.

  Like now.

  His hand moved up to cup her breast, his thumb exploring her nipple. Hallie bit down on her lower lip. The sensation was delicious.

  “And I shouldn’t have pressed you last night to call off the readoption.”

  “No,” Hallie agreed. “You shouldn’t have.”

  They were nude.

  They always slept nude.

  She could feel him growing harder as he pressed against her. He ran his tongue along her shoulder, and Hallie shivered at the sensation.

  “But most of all, I should have made love to you last night the way I want to make love to you right now.”

  When his hand moved downward Hallie rolled over on her back, finally giving him full access to what he was seeking. He toyed with her, just as she knew he would, taking turns with his fingers and his mouth as he pleasured her, getting her ready for what she really wanted. And what she really wanted was Nate deep inside her, driving into her, showing her how much he wanted her.

  She whispered his name.

  He was giving her what she wanted now.

  So deep inside her she was already coming.

  And Nate would make her come again.

  Several times before the night was over.

  The way Nate always did.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  IF HALLIE HAD KNOWN how much easier Buster was going to make her life, she would have searched the animal shelter for a service dog months ago. The dog was amazing.

  She no longer had to watch Ahn every second. Any time Ahn headed for the deck steps or tried to climb up the stairs to the second floor, Buster would get in front of her, blocking her way.

  “Move, Buster,” Ahn would order.

  Buster would lick her face, but he wouldn’t let her pass.

  Letting the dog sleep in Ahn’s room had also turned out to be a godsend, even though Hallie had had her doubts at first. Ahn had never slept completely throughout the night, and Hallie had worried the dog would disturb her. She couldn’t count the number of times the monitor would come to life and she would hear Ahn whimper, not waking fully, but on the verge. Hallie would go in and adjust her covers, rub her back for a few minutes, and Ahn would be fast asleep again.

  Since Buster’s arrival, Ahn had slept peacefully all through the night. It could have only been a coincidence—Ahn was, after all, getting older. But Hallie believed Ahn felt safe knowing the dog was sleeping on the lower mattress.

  So Ahn and Buster were good.

  Things had even been getting better between her and Nate, though Hallie knew his improved attitude was only because it was October and they still didn’t have a single couple to interview. She’d reminded Nate last night that she would go back to work full-time in February. He’d assured her if that was what she decided to do he was still okay with staying home.

  Problem solved, as he liked to say.

  But for whom?

  Certainly not for Ahn.

  Hallie walked into the laundry room with a basket of dirty clothes to leave for Gladys tomorrow morning. Tuesday was laundry day, and Hallie didn’t dare forget it since Gladys had politely reminded her of that before she left thirty minutes ago.

  Hallie paused when the phone rang.

  But when Nate yelled out from the kitchen that he would get the phone, she went about her business, carefully separating the clothes into the appropriate baskets lined up on the counter the way Gladys preferred. When she walked out of the laundry room and into the kitchen, however, Nate was standing by the kitchen bar, a frown on his face and his hands at his waist.

  Hallie raised an eyebrow in question. “What?”

  “Jen and Ben, that’s what.” He swore.

  “Nate!” Hallie scolded.

  She quickly looked around for Ahn, who was sitting on the floor in the den. Thankfully, she was too engrossed in lining blocks along Buster’s back to pay attention to Nate’s cursing.

  Hallie looked back at him. “Does that mean we have an interview?”

  “You tell me, Hallie,” he snapped. “Do you really see the need to interview these people?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Well, that’s just great,” he said, almost shouting now. “The interview’s at two o’clock tomorrow. I hope you and Liz Foster are happy.”

  He walked into the den and picked up Ahn. Then he stormed out the French doors to the deck. Buster stood, shook the blocks off his back, then lumbered after them.

  Hallie slowly counted to ten. And then she counted to ten all over again. How could you love someone so much and still want to strangle him?

  Shaking her head, Hallie walked over to close the door. And that was when she heard the car door slam.

  “Dammit!” she swore, hurrying toward the steps.

  When Hallie rounded the corner of the house she could see that Ahn was already strapped into the car seat while Buster leaped in beside her. After shutting that door Nate jerked the driver’s-side door open.

  Hallie put her hands on her hips. “Will you at least tell me where you’re taking her?”

  He glared at her. “What do you care as long as she’s gone? You’ve made it clear you can’t wait to give her away.” He revved the engine to life and drove away.

  Hallie was left wounded. Not just from Nate’s cruel accusation, but also from the cold, hard look in his eyes.

  FUNNY HOW THE ONLY PLACE where Nate wanted to go was to see his mother. His mother wouldn’t remember Ahn, of course. And she wouldn’t even remember they had been there. But Nate had a bad feeling if he didn’t take Ahn to see his mother now, he might not have that chance.

  Greg had raved about Jen and Ben Harris. He’d even said he was absolutely certain that these were the perfect parents for Ahn. He was sure Nate and Hallie already agreed since Hallie’s friend had been responsible for having the Harrises get in touch with him.

  That had really pissed Nate off.

  As if Nate should agree on Liz Foster’s say-so. But with Greg and Liz both singing this couple’s praises, Hallie would be falling all over herself in agreement. That would leave Nate the odd man out and looking like a selfish prick if he found something wrong with them.

  When they reached the nursing home, Nate parked and hit the power window buttons. He told Buster to stay and took Ahn out of her car seat.

  It took fifteen minutes before they finally got away from the nurses’ desk. All of the nurses had to take turns playing with Ahn and telling Nate how adorable she was and how much she’d grown since they’d last seen her.

  Finally, they made their way down the long corridor toward his mother’s room. And Nate prayed with every step he took that she would be sitting
in her wheelchair today instead of in bed.

  On the days when he did find her in bed, rolled over on her side, staring hopelessly at the blank wall, the memories were so painful Nate couldn’t force himself to stay. But when she was sitting up, even if it was only his imagination, every now and then she would look at Nate as if she remembered him.

  When he pushed the door open and walked inside, he was relieved to see his mother in her wheelchair. But to Nate’s surprise she wasn’t alone.

  Nate walked up beside her and put Ahn down. “Hi, Mom.” He looked over at the elderly woman sitting in the wheelchair beside her. “Who’s your friend?”

  Her new friend had snow-white hair and bright blue eyes, and the twinkle in them told Nate that unlike his mother, this woman was in full possession of her faculties. She smiled up at him and said, “I’m Rose from Room 419. I watch the birds with your mother some times. She doesn’t seem to mind.”

  Nate smiled back at her. “I’m sure she enjoys your company, Rose.”

  “Well, hello there,” Rose said to Ahn, who had walked over to her, suddenly fascinated with the rabbit’s foot on the keychain lying on Rose’s lap. Rose picked up the keys and handed them to Ahn to play with. “Is this your little girl?”

  “Yes.” In that moment, Nate knew it was true. In his heart Ahn felt like his little girl now.

  How could he possibly give her up? Yet, at the same time, how could he possibly keep Ahn if Jen and Ben Harris really were the perfect parents for her?

  He’d proven he could take care of Ahn on the weekends. But what about after Hallie went back to work full-time? He’d talked to Dirk last week and in a few months he would be expected to do his part promoting the documentary. What was he going to do with Ahn then? Tell Hallie she needed to take another leave of absence until his promotional tour was over?

  No, Ahn would end up with a nanny.

  And that truth hit Nate hard.

  He’d told Hallie once that all they really had to offer Ahn was finding the best possible parents to raise her. And as much as it hurt Nate to admit it, he and Hallie were not the best possible parents. He’d lost sight of that somewhere along the way.