The Doctor's Not-So-Little Secret

by Cindy Kirk

  “Mitzi and I haven’t lived in the same town for five years.” Kate’s eyes softened as they settled on Chloe. “And I missed her so much, but we kept in touch. We sent each other funny cards and we talked on the phone.”

  Joel guessed that her not mentioning the internet was deliberate and he was grateful to Kate. He closely monitored his daughter’s time on the web.

  “I don’t remember Savannah’s address or her phone number,” Chloe said in the same small voice, pushing the toe of her shoe against the concrete.

  “I’m sure I have them.” Joel couldn’t believe his daughter hadn’t mentioned wanting to contact Savannah before now. Or had she? “How about we call her after your orthodontic evaluation?”

  “Thank you, Daddy.” Chloe flung her arms around him.

  Over his daughter’s head, his eyes met Kate’s. Something in her gaze pulled him right in. Time seemed to stretch and extend. Without his realizing quite how it had happened, their eye contact turned into something more, a tangible connection between the two of them.

  Then Kate blinked and looked away.

  Joel could feel heat rising up his neck. Dear God, what had gotten into him? You’d have thought he was a lust-struck teenager.

  “There’s a lot to do in Jackson Hole,” Joel stammered, then stopped and took a deep, steadying breath. “I’m sure you’ll like it here.”

  “I have no doubt of that,” Mitzi said.

  Her smile was open and friendly while Kate’s shoulders were as stiff as any soldier’s. Of course, right now, his shoulders were feeling pretty tight, too.

  “When I was driving around earlier I noticed an indoor ice rink that I’d like to check out,” Mitzi added.

  “It’s very nice.” Joel cast a look in his daughter’s direction and she nodded her agreement. “We’ve been there many times.”

  “So you like to skate?” Mitzi asked.

  “Chloe does. She skates very well.” Joel hooked a thumb toward his chest. “Me, I spend more time getting up from falling than I do gliding across the ice.”

  “Oh, Daddy.” Chloe exhaled an exasperated breath. “You’re not that bad. You just need to practice more.”

  Mitzi cast a sideways glance at Kate as if waiting for her to add her two cents to the conversation. But the doctor only glanced pointedly at her watch making Joel wonder if she had a patient waiting.

  “I’m what would be considered an average skater.” Mitzi waved a hand. “I can usually make it around the rink without falling, but I don’t do any fancy stuff. Kate, on the other hand, can do it all. She’s good enough to be a professional.”

  “Hardly.” Kate gave a self-conscious laugh. “But I’ve been skating since I was old enough to walk, so it stands to reason I’d be somewhat proficient.”

  Mitzi’s gaze shifted to Chloe, then back to Kate. “Something tells me this young lady might be even better than you are when she grows up.”

  “I might already be as good.” Chloe spoke with the blind confidence of youth. “I’ve never seen her skate.”

  Kate simply smiled.

  “We’d better get going.” Joel rested a hand on his daughter’s shoulder. “Wouldn’t want to keep Dr. Rallis waiting.”

  Chloe made a face, making it clear she wouldn’t mind skipping the appointment.

  Kate resisted the urge to tell the little girl that she’d had braces for six months when she’d been her age and that it hadn’t been all that bad. In fact, she could give Chloe some pointers to make the experience better. Then Kate remembered that wasn’t her place.

  She was Chloe’s doctor. Nothing more.

  As Kate watched the father and daughter walk away, a melancholy sadness, at odds with the sunny June afternoon, settled around her shoulders.

  “I’ve got a patient waiting,” she said to Mitzi. “If I don’t get back to the office soon, Lydia will track me down and beat me with my own stethoscope.”

  “I definitely see the resemblance,” Mitzi said.

  An image of the office assistant flashed before Kate. Gray hair. Round face. Glasses. Without thinking, Kate grimaced. “You really think Lydia and I look alike?”

  Mitzi shook her head, sending her hair swinging from side to side. “Chloe.”

  An icy chill filled Kate’s veins. “What about her?”

  “Your daughter, Chloe. She looks just like you.”

  Chapter Four

  Even though Kate couldn’t stop a rush of pleasure at the words, she had to put a stop to Mitzi’s assumption.

  “She.is.not.my.little.girl.” Kate spoke slowly and deliberately so there could be no misunderstanding. “She is Joel’s little girl.”

  To Mitzi it might seem like a small distinction, but for Kate it was huge. And it was something she needed to continually keep in mind herself. When she’d signed those papers nine years ago, her child had become Joel and Amy Dennes’s daughter. She could not, would not, let herself think of Chloe as hers.

  Mitzi didn’t respond until they were back in the office and the exterior door had fallen closed behind them. “I saw how you looked at her, Kate.”

  Kate pulled her brows together. “And how was that?”

  “With motherly love.” A sudden look of tenderness crossed Mitzi’s face. “You might tell yourself she’s Joel’s daughter. You might have even convinced yourself. But in your heart she’s yours. And you love her.”

  Of course Kate loved Chloe. She’d carried her for nine months. She’d given birth to her. When the attorney had walked from the room with the signed relinquishment papers and her baby—her sweet girl—in his arms, she’d cried and cried.

  Her love hadn’t disappeared simply because the child was now someone else’s daughter. Still, Kate thought she’d done a better job of hiding those feelings. A shiver of fear skittered up her spine. “Do you think Joel noticed?”

  “Nah.” Mitzi shook her head. “He was too busy drooling over you.”

  “Yeah, right.” Kate’s laughter was tinged with relief.

  Even if Joel was interested in her, nothing would come of it. Kate couldn’t imagine anything with more of a potential for disaster than becoming involved with the adoptive father of her biological daughter.

  “We can talk more about this later.” Kate glanced at the clock on the wall. Emilie had been waiting for almost fifteen minutes. “Right now I have a patient to see.”

  “Just one?”

  Kate nodded.

  “How about I wait?” Mitzi leaned over and brushed a piece of lint from her obviously new boots. “We could go for a walk after you’re finished, then grab some dinner. I saw an elk refuge on my way into town that I’d like to explore.”

  “It’ll be like old times.” Kate had fond memories of all the walking and talking she and Mitzi had done in medical school. She’d shared so much about her life during those walks.

  Mitzi cast a pointed glance at Kate’s dress and heels. “What about—”

  “Gym bag is in the car.”

  “Excellent.”

  On her way out the door, Kate waved a careless hand in the direction of a coffee table littered with professional journals, the light reflecting off the red fire opal on her right ring finger. “They’re recent issues. Help yourself.”

  “Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine? Journal of Medical Genetics? Uh, no, thank you.” Mitzi’s voice followed Kate out into the hall. “Do you happen to have People or Entertainment Weekly?”

  * * *

  The elk refuge on the outskirts of Jackson had been a good choice, Kate decided. The sun shone warm against her face and a light breeze caressed her cheek. She and Mitzi’s only company was a herd of bison far in the distance.

  Mitzi slanted a sideways glance, studying her for several seconds. “Biker shorts, UCLA T-shirt and a ponytail. I’m proud to be your friend.”

  “People in cowboy boots shouldn’t throw stones,” Kate retorted and Mitzi laughed.

  On the way to the wildlife refuge, Mitzi had done most of the talking. Kate
had been distracted, unable to forget the despair she’d seen in Emilie Hyland’s eyes. Even though the teen confided she’d known for months that she was pregnant, her mother had been stunned by the news. They’d both cried and when Kate thought of the difficult decision the sixteen-year-old would soon face, she’d wanted to cry with them.

  “I was thinking back to the day you emailed me that you’d hired a detective to locate your daughter,” Mitzi said.

  “I worried something had happened to her.” Kate hadn’t been looking to interfere in the adoptive parents’ lives; she’d simply wanted confirmation Chloe was alive and well.

  Sympathy filled Mitzi’s blue eyes. “I’d have been frantic, too, when her birthday passed with no pictures or updates.”

  “First time in nine years.” Kate had only known Chloe’s adoptive parents as Joel and Amy, not where they lived or how to contact them directly. They’d had less information about her. Not even her first name. The correspondence was one way, filtered through the attorney. “Communication simply stopped.”

  “Joel should have notified you that Amy had passed away,” Mitzi said, a hint of censure in her tone. The investigator Kate hired had obtained the death certificate. Complications from diabetes had been listed as the cause of death. “Even if his wife had been the one who’d sent updates in the past, he should have taken over that task. After all, in a semi-open adoption, that’s part of the deal.”

  “Unfortunately there’s no recourse if the adoptive parents don’t follow through.” Kate expelled a sigh, the past a heavy weight on her shoulders. “You know, sometimes I wonder if I’d have made the same decision if my grandmother had been alive. Or if I hadn’t been so exhausted from the pressures of—”

  “You did the right thing,” Mitzi insisted. “You’d just completed your first year of medical school. You’d worked so hard. Keeping her would have cost you everything.”

  Although Kate had wanted to be a doctor since she’d put a stethoscope over Raggedy Ann’s candy heart, the price she’d paid had been steep. “When I look at Chloe and think of all I’ve missed, it feels as if I did lose everything.”

  “Don’t second-guess yourself.” Mitzi stopped in the middle of the dirt path to face Kate. “You agonized over that decision.”

  “I did.” Lots of sleepless nights. Lots of prayers.

  “Now a miracle has happened. You’ve been given another chance to be part of your daughter’s life.”

  It took several erratic heartbeats for Kate to find her voice. “I gave up that right nine years ago, Mitzi. And after being here for so long, it would be too confusing to Chloe to break my silence now.”

  “I’m not saying to tell them who you are. I simply think both Joel and Chloe could use a friend like you.”

  “It makes sense, but—”

  “No buts.” Mitzi placed a hand on her arm, her voice a gruff rasp. “You put Chloe first when you gave her up. You need to put her welfare first again.”

  * * *

  By the time they finished their hike, Kate and Mitzi were hot, sweaty and so tired that everything made them laugh…including the rumble of Kate’s stomach. Because it was quick and casual, they decided to eat at Perfect Pizza in downtown Jackson. They ordered their pizza at the counter and had been handed glasses for drinks when Mitzi’s phone rang.

  In a matter of minutes she was gone, insisting Kate stay behind and wait for the pizza. Since they’d driven separately, it worked. Kate filled her glass with iced tea, tucked the order number under her arm and ambled into the dining room hoping to find a place to sit.

  She heard her name and Kate’s heart performed a series of flutters at the sound of the familiar baritone. A sense of déjà vu washed over her when Joel motioned her over, his lips lifted in an easy smile. He must have said something to his daughter because Chloe turned and waved, leaving Kate no choice but to head that way.

  By the time she reached the booth, Joel was standing, his steady gaze shooting tingles down her spine. He surveyed her from the top of her disheveled ponytail to the tips of her dusty cross-trainers. “You look lovely.”

  Kate gazed into his eyes, noticing for the first time the green in the hazel depths. Discounting the fact that he was Chloe’s adoptive father, there was something about this rugged contractor that appealed to her.

  “Where’s your friend?” Chloe pushed herself up in her seat and looked around.

  “Mitzi is on her way to my house,” Kate said. “Her niece was in a car accident this afternoon and she had some calls to make. Once the pizza is ready, I’m headed home, too.”

  Kate felt it important to make it clear she wasn’t eating here. Despite her conversation with Mitzi, Kate still wasn’t convinced she should be more involved in Chloe—and consequently, Joel’s—life.

  “You’re welcome to join us while you wait,” Joel offered. “We’ve got plenty of hamburger pizza.”

  “With extra cheese,” Chloe said, sweetening the pot.

  There was a beat of silence as Kate hesitated. She felt Joel’s gaze on her mouth. Her lips began to tingle.

  “Daddy and I were talking about my appointment with the dentist,” Chloe said. “He never had braces. Did you have braces, Dr. Kate?”

  “I did.” Kate moistened her suddenly dry lips with the tip of her tongue and concentrated on the facts. Fact one, she had to wait for the pizza. Fact two, with the dining area so small, it would look like an obvious slight if she sat anywhere else. Fact three, she wanted to sit with them.

  “I can move over.” Chloe scooted across the bench seat, making room.

  Kate turned back to Joel, noticing the five o’clock stubble on his cheeks. A man’s man. “If you’re sure I’m not interrupting…”

  “Sit down, Doctor.” Joel’s smile took any sting from the order.

  He stepped back at the same moment she moved forward and her arm brushed against his. His body tensed at the brief contact, but Kate pretended she hadn’t felt it. Or caught a whiff of his spicy cologne.

  She placed the stand with the number card on the edge of the table so it was clearly visible, then slid into the booth next to Chloe. When she turned to drop her hobo bag on the seat, this time it was the little girl who stared.

  “You have a ponytail,” Chloe said loudly. “Just like mine.”

  A self-conscious-sounding laugh escaped Kate’s mouth. She was about to apologize for her appearance when she saw the pleased look in Chloe’s eyes.

  “I like my ponytail.” Or she had, when it had been all neatly pulled back. Not so much now, with half the strands out of the tail. “Do you like yours?”

  “I do.” Chloe sounded surprisingly serious. “It keeps my hair off my face. And my neck stays cooler in the summer.”

  Kate made the mistake of looking at Joel. When his lips twitched, she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. “So true.”

  Chloe’s gaze narrowed. “You don’t look like a doctor in those clothes.”

  Intrigued, Kate angled her head. “Okay, I’ll bite. What do I look like?”

  Across from her, Joel took a sip of soda. Puzzlement, along with an unmistakable flash of amusement, glittered in his eyes. Apparently he wasn’t sure what was going to come out of his daughter’s mouth. Well, that made two of them.

  Chloe shrugged and took a gulp of milk, suddenly tight-lipped.

  Something in Kate told her to let it drop. But curiosity propelled her to offer an encouraging smile. “C’mon, Chloe,” Kate urged, “tell me.”

  “You look—” the little girl took a deep breath then began, again, her hazel eyes staring straight at Kate “—like my mom.”

  Chapter Five

  Kate inhaled sharply.

  Joel’s pizza slice dropped to his plate.

  “Mommy used to wear those black shorts when she went to the gym. Before she got sick.” Chloe’s voice broke. “Then she died.”

  Kate swallowed a nervous gasp. For a second, she’d thought that like Mitzi, Chloe had looked
at her and seen…

  But she hadn’t and Kate was relieved. Still, her heart twisted at the pain in Chloe’s voice. While some might say it’d been two years and it was time for the child to move on, Kate knew better. Time did make such a significant loss easier to bear, but even after ten years Kate still missed her grandmother. She squeezed Chloe’s shoulder. “I can tell you loved your mother very much.”

  “I did.” Tears shimmered in Chloe’s eyes. “I miss her so much.”

  Across the booth, Kate saw Joel stiffen and for a second she thought he might put an end to a conversation. Instead he reached across the table and patted his daughter’s hand. The look he shot Kate was filled with unmistakable gratitude. Her breath caught, then began again.

  “I bet she loved you just as much,” Kate said softly. “I—I know I would if you were my little girl.”

  Kate clamped her lips shut. Where had that come from?

  “She told me that she thanked God every day for me.” Chloe’s voice grew thick. “Didn’t she say that, Daddy?”

  “You were her world, princess.” Joel cleared his throat. “I’ll never forget the look on your mommy’s face when the nurse put you in her arms. You were only three days old.”

  Chloe leaned her head against Kate’s shoulder and Kate stayed very still, afraid to move and ruin the moment.

  Finally Chloe straightened and reached for another piece of pizza, moisture clinging like little crystals to her lashes.

  “Do you belong to a gym?”

  Joel’s question seemed to come out of left field. Not until Kate met his gaze did she understand that while he didn’t want to shut down Chloe talking about her mom, he didn’t want their evening out to turn maudlin either.

  “I joined the Y the month I moved here,” Kate said. “I like it there.”

  “I took swimming lessons at the Y,” Chloe said. “One of the girls in my class had her birthday party there. Everyone got to swim and then they had cake and ice cream.”

  Kate took a sip of tea, missing the feel of Chloe’s head against her arm and conscious of the warmth in Joel’s eyes that seemed directed straight at her. “Was it fun?”