GRIND

by Stephanie Brother

  Oh, he was so not going there…

  “Could you please explain what you mean?” I asked as sweetly as I could, not doing very well at keeping the acid out of my voice.

  He didn’t budge an inch. “I have an image to keep up, you know this. So please do tell me why you’re out there gallivanting around with this guy. This… this… stripper? It’s as if you’re only thinking of yourself nowadays.”

  His words were like a slap right in my face. Was he fucking serious? “Thinking of myself? Dad, I’ve been handling this whole project at work because you asked me to do it! Doing everything under the sun that you wanted me to do, smiling for the cameras, trying to play my part. For you. How can you possibly think that I’m not on your side?”

  This time he turned around, drumming his fingers on his dark wooden desk. “Do you have any idea how bad this makes me look? What this could possibly do to damage the campaign? I have some asshole named Demetrio trying to dig up every little bit of dirt he can on me, and then in the other corner, I have a newcomer who’s gaining on me in the polls. A woman who can claim the diversity card, no less. Her base is getting larger by the day. The very last thing I need is for something like this to get out, to make it look as if…”

  I gritted my teeth. “As if what, exactly? Go ahead… Say it. You think I’m being trashy. Acting like some slut or something, right? Did I guess right, Dad?”

  He took a few steps closer to me, barely kept anger boiling under the surface. This was definitely a side of him I hadn’t seen before. It was what I had feared, listening in to what he was saying about the reelection campaign the day before. He saw me as an obstacle getting in his way, not his daughter trying to live her life. And I didn’t know what to do to make him see otherwise.

  “That was not what I was going to say. But I will admit, it doesn’t look good for you, that’s for damn sure. A stripper, Gabi? Really? You could have your pick of any man out there, any of them would be willing to throw themselves at you. You’re beautiful, young, rich, and learning to become more and more powerful. Then you go and get stuck with this kind of person?” He jabbed his finger in the direction of the newspaper he was holding up, pointing to the grainy black and white picture of me and Jacob. “Who the hell is this guy, anyway?”

  I had to laugh, because what else could I do? “You really don’t know who he is, Dad? Maybe you should ask your girlfriend. You know, Jennifer?”

  “She has nothing to do with this,” he hissed back at me.

  I shook my head. “Actually, she has everything to do with this. I’m dating her son, you see. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t think she’d really appreciate how you’re talking about him. I just… I just can’t believe you’re treating me this way!”

  “What do you expect, Gabi? I have a lot riding on this whole thing and—”

  Tears welled up in my eyes, and no matter how hard I tried to hold them back, they slid down my face. “Who cares about the damn campaign? You’re treating me as if I’m personally out to destroy you or something, Dad! All I wanted to do was be happy, and you can’t even let me have that. I guess I should’ve expected differently from you. Everyone always thinks you’re some big badass who doesn’t give a damn about anyone else. I’ve always defended you, always stuck up for you and did everything you wanted me to do. And this is how you treat me? It’s so unfair. This is just so unfair,” I said, my voice shaking.

  I could see his face softening only slightly before I turned on my heel and stormed out of his office, slamming the door behind me. Dad or not, he was being a total asshole about the whole thing.

  Over the next week, I tried several times to text Jacob, letting him know about the fight between me and my dad. Surely he’d seen the news about us by then. And even though I knew he had some kind of test coming up soon, I couldn’t help but feel as though maybe he was ignoring me.

  But he wouldn’t do that to me… Would he? Over the weekend, I even tried calling him, something I almost never did anymore. But even then, Jacob so wasn’t picking up. I had half a mind to go up to the strip club and call him out, make him answer me, because I couldn’t stand the thought that he was actually trying to avoid talking to me. What was going on with him?

  Did I miss something? So many things were running through my mind as I listened to my friends over coffee, barely focused on whatever they were saying. I felt like shit for not paying them much attention, but I couldn’t help it. All of my thoughts were revolving around the guy that I thought I might be falling for. Except it was clear to me that things just weren’t the same. He must not have cared enough about me to see things through.

  Feeling more than a little pathetic, I leaned back in my chair, pasting on the best smile I could manage in front of my friends. As much as it sucked, I had to keep my chin up anyway.

  12

  Jacob

  It almost wasn’t fair, trying to ask me to focus on something as important as the next USMLE exam. I began studying for it as soon as I passed the first part, and had been for months since. But with everything going on with Gabi… I found myself slipping in my studies. And as much as she was starting to mean to me… I couldn’t let that happen. I’d worked way too hard to get to where I was to let anything get in the way. It hurt every time I saw her name on my phone. She was relentless, failing to see why I would ignore her.

  Even I didn’t quite understand it, myself. But I knew I wasn’t going to be able to do what needed to be done unless I did. So when I got the official email, I waited until I was sitting down, getting ready to go have dinner with my mom, before opening it to see my score.

  It was just a small chart, filled with numbers that didn’t mean anything at first until I saw the bold number at the top with my score—221. I had passed.

  For a moment, it was all I could think of. My future was rolling out in front of me finally, and I was only one residency and one more test away from accomplishing my dream. I tried to bring myself up by remembering that but it was no use. I completely froze, only lucky enough once I was able to finally breathe again.

  It was weird seeing the score, knowing what it meant, but also at the same time feeling numb. I wiped my hand on my pants, not realizing how sweaty my palms were. Maybe it was because I knew I was so close to getting what I wanted that it scared me. When I passed the first section of the test earlier on in the year, I didn’t feel much of anything except a huge relief from not having to bust my ass and study every single minute of my spare time. Of course, a few days later that completely changed, and I started doing it anyway.

  Or maybe it was because that part of my life seemed to be moving smoothly. A little too smoothly. And then with how everything happened so suddenly with Gabi, I wasn’t sure if I was just being paid back for the shitty hand I was dealt in life or what. Maybe I was just overthinking things…

  There was a knock at the front door of my duplex, before the door cracked open. “Jacob? Are you in here?” my mom called out.

  “Yeah, Ma. Come in.”

  I tucked my phone back into my pocket, figuring I would save the good news for the dinner table.

  “You look like kinda funny, is everything okay?” she asked, pushing the door open wider with a curious look on her face.

  I shrugged, pasting on a smile. It wasn’t that I wasn’t excited about passing the test, I just had too many things on my mind to contend with it. “I’m all good. What did you cook tonight, anyway?”

  “Why don’t you pop on over, and find out?” she replied with a smile. “And thank you for changing into some decent clothes for once.”

  “Hey! I have no idea what you’re talking about. I always look good.”

  She pursed her lips at me. “Yeah, sweaty and stinking, just coming back from the gym does not equal looking good, but whatever you say, honey. I’ll be waiting,” she added, laughing at my expression before shutting the door.

  After freshening up just a little bit, in case my mom had something smart to say about it,
I headed across the hall, happy to smell the thick aroma of my mom’s famous shepherd’s pie and some kind of cinnamon tart thing wafting past me.

  “Awesome, you know I was just thinking about how long it’s been since we had your delicious shepherd’s pie,” I said, walking into the kitchen just as my mom gave me a quick one-armed hug, patting me on the back.

  “I was thinking the same thing. Why don’t you go grab some plates for us? We’ll need three.”

  I stopped for a moment, confused. “Three?”

  “Yes, three. We have a guest coming for dinner tonight.”

  This was a first. No one interrupted weekly dinner nights. No one.

  Mom saw me staring hard at the extra third plate and rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t do that. I figured that since the cat’s out of the bag about me and Leonard, it only made sense for you two to have a more formal introduction.”

  Yeah, I could just imagine that more formal introduction—Leonard De Leon leaning in to give me a handshake in front of my mom, quickly shoving a knife right into my gut, then telling me to keep him in mind when I go to the voting booth in November. Oh yeah, this wouldn’t be awkward at all.

  “Come on, you can’t be serious. Do I have to pull up what’s been trending in the news over the past week, or what? I hate to break it to you, Mom, but I’m like 99.9% positive your boyfriend hates me,” I called out over my shoulder, grabbing two plates. I sure as hell wasn’t about to be part of the act.

  She watched me through slitted eyes as I placed a plate down in front of her at the table, and put the other one across from her. I stood there, my arms crossed over my chest.

  “Believe it or not, honey, that’s not true. Leonard may seem like this big, bad guy, but he’s really not.”

  I sighed. “You’re missing the bigger picture, Ma. It doesn’t matter what he’s like—he blames me for the whole thing that happened with Gabi. I saw her texts. I heard her voicemail messages. He wasn’t pleased in the slightest about any of it. And now you just expect him to be cool with it just because he’s coming here for dinner tonight?”

  My mom reached across the table, taking a knife and not so gently cutting into the cinnamon tart, letting the steam hiss out of it. “I’m not an idiot, Jacob. Do you really think I’d invite him over here for our dinner night if I thought he was angry with you? Even you have to give me better credit than that.”

  I knew she had a point, but… No way that man wasn’t ready to kick my ass. Not that I thought he could, but he’d definitely try. “Okay, but what did you say to him? If he thinks this news about Gabi and me is bad for his campaign or whatever, he’s not just going to let it happen.”

  “I already talked to him about everything, actually,” she continued, pulling the silver pie tin closer to her. “We talked about everything a couple of nights ago, in fact. And yes, you’re right. He was very angry, and he did blame it partly on you, but I set him straight. You and Gabrielle are both adults, you can handle yourselves, and what the two of you do has nothing to do with him. Or us, for that matter. His public image is very important to him, but for good reason. He’s good at what he does and he’s got plenty more to give to the city. He doesn’t want that taken away because of some silly gossip that has no real effect on his duty.”

  “And not at all to do with the fact that he probably just doesn’t want his daughter hanging with some ‘low life,’ like a stripper, right?” I mumbled. It didn’t matter than I knew I sounded like some petulant kid. I didn’t want to get my hopes up that it was just that easy.

  “He might be a little biased, but that’s just him looking out for her. That’s the parent in him, baby, and you can’t really be mad about that. Of course we know that you having a less-than conventional job doesn’t mean anything bad, but he doesn’t know that life like you do. And you’d do well to explain that it’s just a group of guys who have bigger aspirations in life than they appear. I explained that, of course, but it wouldn’t hurt hearing it from you, firsthand. I told him we’d deal with whatever fallout this might have with the press and it may have taken a little while for to sink in, but he did get it.”

  “He gets it,” I mumbled, pulling my shepherd’s pie to me, too. I wasn’t about to wait around to eat when I was that hungry and ready to get the hell out of there. I shook my head. “Somehow I just don’t believe that.”

  “I calmed him down. He was heated, yes it’s true, but I did get him to understand. It doesn’t matter what you do in your own time, and he shouldn’t be so hard on Gabrielle for doing whatever she wants to do in her life. Even if he is in the eye of the public at all times. This isn’t some backwards small town. This is L.A., and it’s seen it all, pretty much. When I put it that way, he got it. Plus…” she let her voice trail off, shrugging one shoulder, “I may have some special powers of persuasion.”

  I made a face, groaning to myself. “Really. Did not. Need. To know that.”

  Mom giggled a moment until we both burst out laughing, me taking a hearty bite of my food and letting it digest for a moment before looking back at her. “Thanks, Ma. For sticking up for me.”

  She gave me a knowing smile and nodded. “Of course, baby. You know I’d do anything for you.”

  There was a loud knock at the door, startling both of us, before she quickly hopped up, smoothing down her dress, and quickly walked over to the door. With one more look back over her shoulder at me, she winked, and pulled open the door, revealing the man of the hour.

  I shoveled another bite of pie into my mouth, swallowing hard, as I listened in to see if I could hear whether or not his tone sounded particularly murderous.

  Their footsteps approached from behind, and I slowly turned, meeting Leonard De Leon’s eyes right away. I stood up, sticking out my hand.

  He hesitated for a moment, but shook mine, not nearly as hard as I figured he would, before nodding. “Jacob. Nice to see you again, son.”

  I gave my mom a kiss on the cheek, thanking her for dinner and giving a quick wave to Mr. De Leon before heading out the door. Whatever was about to happen in that duplex was nothing I wanted any part of whatsoever. I was going to be putting on a pair of my favorite bass-heavy headphones, just in case.

  Lying in bed, I thought back to dinner and our conversation. Mr. De Leon did seem to be over his anger, and actually asked me about the job, awkwardly jumping from that to my going to med school. My mom nearly burst into tears when I mentioned I’d found out that I had passed the latest exam, and even Mr. De Leon himself seemed rather impressed. All in all, it was a successful dinner, I guess.

  Deciding not to punish myself by diving right back into studying, considering I deserved a break, I shoved my textbook aside and sat up, feeling the urgent need to get in touch with Gabi.

  I’d been so nervous about what would happen if people found out about Gabi and me. It didn’t feel like it before, but I really was. I didn’t want her to say fuck it and ditch me just to keep things easier on herself. But the whole time the problem had only been in my head. I shouldn’t have gotten so bent out of shape and avoiding her, even if I was studying.

  The truth of the matter was that Gabi meant something to me, and I was being a douchebag by ignoring that. It left me open for something I didn’t think I was ready for.

  It hit me that she hadn’t texted or called at all that day, and something thick and heavy sunk down in my stomach. What if she was over me? I couldn’t really blame her—I mean, I had been a total asshole for not talking to her all week.

  I grabbed my phone, quickly scrolling to her name and pulling it up, the cute picture I’d snuck of her sitting pretty above her number.

  It was time to face the truth. Not only was I free to date her without any of the repercussions I had in my head, but I was really starting to feel something for her. Something more than I thought I’d be able to.

  I was going to need to apologize to her. And with any luck, she’d accept.

  13

  Gabi

  I knew I
shouldn’t have been standing by the front door, impatiently pushing the curtain open to see if I could spot Jacob’s truck coming up the drive, but apparently I was a glutton for punishment.

  I didn’t answer him straightaway, when he’d texted me two days before. I wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction, not when he’d been ignoring me for over a week. He had tried to explain that it was partly because he was studying so hard for his next big exam, but he did finally acknowledge that he’d been an asshat who should’ve texted a quick yes I’m here, yes I’m alive.

  I let the string of apologies roll in, text message by text message. At one point, I had even managed to convince myself that he just wasn’t worth it. But that didn’t last long. And when I showed up earlier to my father’s office and saw Jennifer, she wasn’t about to let me walk past without saying something.

  “I know he’s been a jerk, Gabrielle, but just give the boy a chance. I don’t think you’ll regret it.”

  Later on, after finishing up at the office, I finally gave in and texted Jacob back.

  Oh, so now you’ve got your mom in on it?

  It only took him a minute to text me back:

  No—did she say something to you? Oh my God, I’m sorry. I told her not to. But hey… Whatever she said must have worked!

  I was so mad at myself for grinning at him. Only a few hours later, there I was, just waiting for those headlights in the window and hoping I hadn’t made a mistake by letting him come over.

  I poured myself a glass of wine, wondering whether or not I should leave the music on or turn it off, my nerves getting the better of me. I was supposed to be pissed off at him, not anxious to see him!

  But of course, when I heard him pull up in front of the house, my heart did of couple of somersaults in my chest. So much for being angry.