by Bella Lamour
The closer she got to the edge of campus, the faster she walked, until she was all out sprinting for the road. Once she was out onto the street, she stilled and pulled the hood of her sweater up. She slowly shuffled down the sidewalk. The cafe was only a ten minute walk at most and she didn't want to end up there so early that she was stuck waiting with nothing to fill her mind but the awful words of her fellow classmates.
She still reached the place before Detective White, and stood in line to order a hot chocolate. The air was just slightly beginning to turn crisp and cool, a bit of warmth would definitely hit the spot.
When they asked her for her name for her drink, she almost gave it out of habit before thinking better of it. The last thing she wanted to do was alert anyone who might have heard about her that she was here. They could figure that out for themselves.
Maybe today it would be better to be a Mary. Yeah. Mary was a good name.
When she finally got her drink, she headed to an unoccupied mini-booth for two near the back of the cafe. Once she settled herself, she allowed herself a long sip of her drink. It was warm, and comforting and exactly what she needed.
She set it down and looked out the window. The shop was run by locals and quaint, with a large mural painted across one of the walls. A mural of the forest just outside of the city.... a forest that I knew all too well.
“You like that? You little slut? You like the feel of that cock?”
Crying, grunting, rocking. The glint of starlight reflecting off the camera. The dry laughter from Thomas.
She was biting her hand, trying not to rupture a vocal cord. It hurt. The whole world hurt. Why were they doing this?
Her legs. Weak. Shaking. They were going to give out. Thrust. More thrusts. Too fast, too fast for her to handle. She was going to rip in two. This was how she died. No human could survive.
“Scream my name,” That voice. The voice that haunted her dream. Her own personal boogey man. A demon from hell who dug his nails into her scalp. He wanted to devour her. To use up every little piece of her until there was nothing left.“Scream it like a little whore.”
No. She didn't want to scream. She wasn't a whore. She was Yuki. She was a smart, intelligent woman who had never had anything handed to her. She worked hard, dammit!
“Scream it!”
But that didn't matter. In his eyes, in his grip she was nothing. Less than nothing. She was just a plaything. “…Julian.” She breathed, practically biting her tongue as he gave a particularly vicious thrust.
“Julian, please.”
“Yuki? Yuki are you alright?”She jerked suddenly, wrenching herself from her flashback. Blinking hurriedly, she looked up into the blurry, but concerned face of Detective White. “Oh, uh. I'm fine.”
“You're crying.”
“I am?” Her hand went to her cheek, and sure enough there were a few errant tears there. When had that happened. “Oh. It's allergy season. I was daydreaming and didn't realize I got a little leaky.”
“I am a Detective, you know. Lying to me not only wastes time, but also tells me that you don't think I'm good enough to figure out that you are lying.” He took off his coat and sat across from her. He was still just as well dressed as he was before, but this time his pants were blue instead of black. It looked good against his complexion.
“Ah. Sorry.”
“I understand.”
“So, got any updates on my case?” His face took on an odd expression. Just like the silence on the phone, I could tell that it was not a good pause. “What? What's going on?”
“You didn't mention that one of your rapists was a Judge. A very powerful judge.”
Oh...right. We had talked about that. Had she really not mentioned that? She tried to be thorough. “So?”
“So he's got a lot of connections in our precinct and circuits. I'm trying my best, but I'll be honest, they're stonewalling me. Luckily the Sargent is on our side, but he's busy fight off the theft charge.”
“Theft charge?”
“They wanted to charge you with a felony for absconding with his car.”
“Absconding? I think you mean escaping!”
“Look, you don't have to explain it to me. I know those sick sons of bitches are twisted and need to be put away. But we have to tread carefully here. I'm sorry, Yuki, but you got involved with some big man who've got very, very long shadows.”
“Well that's all well and good, but what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Someone spread the story all across campus! They're saying that I asked for it!”
He grimaced. “I'm sorry, Yuki. I really am.”
She groaned and let her head sink into her hands. “I know, I know. I just...I thought I could get away from it. But I can't. But at the same time, they seem to be getting away with everything.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Yeah. Solve the case.” He gave me another look and she rolled her eyes. “Fine. You're right. I guess I wouldn't mind a walk home.”
“What about the rest of your classes?”
“I'm not really feeling it today.”
“Well, I brought my car. Would you like an actual lift?”
“Sure, yeah. That'd be nice.”
She threw her now cool coffee away and exited with the older Detective. She knew that she probably should have been anxious to be alone with a man considering all that she had been through, but there was something about the serious man that put her at ease.
His car was actually pristine, a far cry from the coffee and paper littered ride she had been expecting. But she just shrugged and gave directions.
They reached her place in about twenty minutes or so. She was all set to just walk from the entrance of her apartment complex, but Detective White was having none of it. He insisted on walking her to her door.
“You want to establish a perimeter, don't you?”
“Perceptive girl.”
“I try my best.”
She directed him to visitor parking, secretly appreciative of the extra security, and showed him to her place. She was on the third floor in the west building, and they took the stairs. The extra exercise made her feel better. Like she could sweat out all her troubles and be normal again.
Just as they reached the last landing, Xavier's phone went off. He held up a finger. “Just one minute, I gotta take this.”
“No problem. I'll go set my stuff inside.”
He nodded his consent and she went ahead. Yuki was just putting her key in the lock when a shadow moved at the edge of her vision.
She gasped and jumped nearly a mile in the air, but was relieved to see it was just the landlord. She had the occasional run in with him and he seemed like a nice enough man.
“Oh hey Chris, what's going on?”
“Hey Yuki.” He said. Something about his demeanor sent warning bells off in her head. That had been happening way too much lately. “Look, there's no easy way to say this, but I'm going to need you out by the end of the month.”
“What!? Why?”
“There have been complaints about your cat-”
“What complaints? Why was I not notified of this before? He's a house cat! You can't just kick me out without giving me any sort of warning! And no thirty day notice?”
He paled, as if he hadn't expected her to know her rights as a tenant. “Look, it's just not working out. You need to leave.”
“No, no I won't. Not until you go through the proper channels of the lease we both signed when we moved in. I have done nothing wrong! Why...why are you doing...” She trailed off as an idea struck her. But no, it couldn't be. There was no chance....was there? Could he really have such far reaching strings? “He put you up to this, didn't he? He told you to kick me out?”
“I-I don't know what you're talking about.”
“What's going on here?”
Yuki turned to Detective White, adrenaline pumping through her yet again. “He's trying to kick me out.”
“What, why?”
/>
“It's Buck,” She panted, voice desperate. “He's found me and he's trying to ruin everything. He wants to force me out of my home. He's trying to scare me into silence.”
“I don't know what you're talkin-”
“Shut up!” She snapped. “I won't! I won't go! He does not control me!”
“Look here,” The Detective snapped, stepping forward and grabbing my landlord's collar. “You will get out of here and forget this ever happened. And you hassle her anymore and I'll see you have your property license removed.”
The man sped off as fast as humanly possible and Yuki felt a small bit of satisfaction. Maybe it would take years to get justice from her actual attackers, but taking down one of their cronies felt pretty damn good.
“Would you like me to go inside, look around?”
“No, no I think I'm good. We'll talk later.”
“Alright. And don't forget your follow up appointments at the hospital. And it might help to see a support group. You've been through a lot, Yuki. You don't have to go through the rest of it alone.”
“I thought you were my Detective, not my mother.”
“Humor to cover vulnerability. Classic type A. Where is your mother, by the way?”
“Dead. She passed away from cancer when I was in middle school. Made me that much more determined to be a doctor.”
“And your father?”
“Car accident. Two years ago.”
“Do you have anyone you can talk to?”
“I'll be fine. I’ve got Buster” She walked into her place and turned to shut the door. “Oh, and Detective White?”
“Yes?”
“Thanks.”
“You're welcome.” He murmured before heading down the stairs.
Yuki shut the door and collapsed onto her futon. Her cat, the old fat creamsicle that he was, stirred from his slumber and cuddled up to her side, purring soothingly.
This day was the worst it could get. Tomorrow would be at least a little better. And then the day after that.
She would get through this. She had to.
The good guys always win.
...right?
*
Anyone can be sexually assaulted. Studies show that survivors include infants to people in their 80’s, people with disabilities, and persons from every racial, ethnic, religious, economic and social background.
Yuki's days were beginning to blend into an uninterrupted stream of depression and discomfort. The rumors and whispers at school didn't abate like she hoped. If anything, they increased. She tried not to think of what she possibly could have done to deserve such harassment -that would just lead her down a spiraling path she might not come back from.
Most days she just kept her head down and pretended she wasn't aware of the outside world. She was hustling to class in just that position when she heard a familiar voice.
Mandy. The fellow med student who has visited her in the hospital.
Her feet moved of their own accord, and the next thing she knew she was standing next to the plump blond. “Mandy?”
She turned, surprised, but her eyes widened when she spotted the small Asian woman staring up at her. “Yuki! Oh my god!” She threw her arms around Yuki in a hug, which almost made her drop all her books. “You're back! I'm so happy!”
But Yuki wasn't buying her act. “Did you tell everyone about me?”
She looked shocked, genuinely shocked. “What? No! It's nobody's business!” She frowned. “Why, are people saying things?” Her already sizable chest puffed out. “Do you need me to take talk to someone? I can be pretty intimidating when I try.”
Yuki shook her head. “No. It's just...I... someone's going around saying I'm a sex worker and I asked for it. You know, typical victim blaming stuff.”
She had expected Mandy to disapprove, what she didn't expect was for the blond to turn vibrant red. “They what? Are you kidding me?”
“Unfortunately no.”
“That's ridiculous! This is the twenty first century! I...I'm going to talk to the counselor, see if we can get to the bottom of this. Don't worry, Yuki. You're not alone in this. I'm running a take back the night vigil. Would you want to be a key speaker there?”
“Oh no, that's fine. I don't think I'm ready for anything like that. Sorry for thinking it could be you.”
“Don't apologize. I'm the only one who visited you at the hospital. I would have done the same thing. But I'm on your side. I won't stand for this kind of harassment.”
“Thanks.”
*
Victims typically do not lie about rape. The FBI reports that false accusations account for only 2% of all reported sexual assaults.
Yuki sat on her second hand couch, huddled under a blanket with a cup of warm tea in her hands. She wasn’t used to having so much free time but her doctor still hadn’t cleared her to return to rotations. She knew why, considering she was still at a high risk for all sorts of infections and STIs, but it was fairly awful being so idle.
She sat there, uninterested in watching television on her laptop, but also unable to study anymore. She realized that the darker it became in the sky, the less she wanted to be alone.
A meow sounded from Buster beside her and she scratched his ears.
“What do you think? Should I get up and actually socialize a little?”
He let out a long purr that she took as a sufficient enough answer.
Moving for the first time in a couple hours, she opened her laptop then loaded up the school website. It took a bit of navigating, and a trip to the site map before she found the event page. She scrolled through, looking for the location of the Take Back the Night assembly, and if she could get an escort there.
Despite being able to attend her classes, nighttime was a foe she was still unable to defeat. Who knew what lay in the darkness, waiting to jump out at her and drag her into another nightmare? She just wasn’t ready.
But when she reached the rather artistically done banner for the event, big red lettered were digitally stamped over it.
Cancelled.
“What happened?” Yuki murmured to herself. “Well there goes that idea.”
She sat back, defeated again. Mandy had seemed so enthusiastic about the event. It just didn’t seem like she would back out on the night of.
Oh no, what if she was hurt? What is something terrible happened to her too?
Yuki looked back to the webpage and scoured the text under the obnoxious red notice. She managed to find an email address at the bottom for any questions, and quickly drafted up a note.
Dear Take Back the Night staff,
I was informed of your event my Mandy, from the med student program. I at first declined her invitation, but at second thought changed my mind, only to find the event is cancelled. I understand that sometimes events are beyond our control, but I want to make sure Mandy, as well as everyone else is okay.
-Yuki Kobayashi.
She sat back and stared at her computer screen. She was being stupid. If she was lucky she would get an answer in a few days. Most likely no one would reply at all.
To distract herself, she got up and went about making herself a grilled cheese sandwich. She couldn’t really remember the last time she had eaten, and she knew that that was not a good way to begin her path to recovery.
She pulled out the ingredients and set the pan on her stove, but a ding from her computer had her scuttling back to the couch as quickly as she could with her injuries.
They had replied!
She sat down and opened it eagerly.
Dear Yuki,
I’m so glad you messaged me! This is Mandy. I went to the Counselor like I said I would and she helped me file a couple of complaints. I went back to class, expecting to leave early to prep for Take Back the Night when I was called to the Deans office.
They expelled me! Can you believe it?
They accused me of cheating on a test. I’m not a cheat, Yuki, I swear I’m not. Daddy’s hiring a lawyer and she say
s that they don’t have a leg to stand on. But I won’t be back until next semester, and next year at the worst. We’re going to get a pretty penny out of it in court, but I’m going to be so behind!
There’s no way this is some coincidence. I’m sorry Yuki, but I think that those men have an in with the administration. They already shut down my student email, and I have no idea how long until they shut down this one.
Just please, be safe.
-Mandy Strasser
Yuki just stared at the words, her mind trying to process it all.
Expelled? They could do that? If Buck had somehow payed them off, he must have given them enough to make being sued by a third generation alumni family worth it.
That was a lot of money.
How was she supposed to stand up to this kind of power? They were willing to ruin the education and career of someone who just stood up for Yuki once?
Suddenly Yuki was relieved that her parents were already laid to rest. She hated to think what evil and malicious things Buck and his two flunkies would think of to torture them. Mess with their jobs, their friends? Who knew. She was just glad she didn’t have to deal with it.
No, she just had to deal with being all on her own when it seemed the whole world was out to destroy her.
Just another day in the life of one of Buck’s playthings.
*
Statistical studies indicate false reports make up two percent or less of the reported cases of sexual assault. This figure is approximately the same for other types of crimes. Only one out of 10 rapes are actually reported. Sexual Assault by someone the victim knows are the least likely to be reported.
Seventy Two.
Yuki paled as she looked at the grade at the top of her test. A seventy two? She never got below and eighty in her entire scholastic career. And this was on a midterm. Her GPA was going to plummet. She was never going to get into a good intern program. She...she couldn't do this.
It had been a week since Buck had tried to kick her out of her place and now his influence was ruining her scholastic life. It was bad enough every day she had to pretend she didn't hear the whispers and see the stares.
