Stay With Me

by Alexa Powers

  Inhaling a deep breath of fresh air, she sat up, then leaned over and rested her chest against Jack’s long neck, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. Lingering there for a long minute before lifting up and rubbing the lean stretch of muscles that ran the length of his mane, she gave him a gentle squeeze with her legs and led him back to the barn.

  The large eight-stall barn had a long center aisle, flanked on either side by rows of square stalls, tack and feed rooms, and two wash bays. A wide breezeway divided the long aisle in half and a small living quarters occupied the second story above the breezeway. The rustic design of the exterior complemented the appearance of the main house, which sat perched on a hill overlooking the luxurious estate.

  The leisurely click-clack of Jack’s hooves against the concrete floor announced their arrival and Ali smiled as she took in the sight of Abby perched on Claudia’s hip, chatting away, as she helped her brush the newest arrival to Stoney Brook, a chestnut pony named Nutmeg.

  Ali slowed Jack to a stop and attached his halter to the set of cross ties in front of his stall so she could give him a good grooming before settling him into his stall for the night. Taking a deep breath, Ali inhaled the familiar scent of wood shavings, hay, and molasses, and wondered if it was odd to be comforted by the smell of a barn.

  “Hey there, sweet girl. Are you behaving yourself for Miss Claudia?” Ali questioned Abby, tickling her side as she brushed past her to get Jack’s grooming kit from the tack room.

  Claudia smiled back at Ali. “She’s been a perfect little angel. Haven’t you, Abby?”

  Ignoring them both, Abby twisted in Claudia’s arms and reached out for her mommy as Ali stepped past her to set the wooden box of grooming supplies on the ground next to where she’d left Jack. “Up-up.”

  “Come here, baby.” Ali settled her daughter on her hip as she placed a kiss on the top of her head. “Do you want to help Mommy brush Jack?”

  Ali ran her free hand down the length of Jack’s neck, his coat silky and smooth beneath her fingers, and leaned in so Abby could do the same. Ali had become an expert at completing most tasks one handed since giving birth to Abby, and Jack remained relatively unfazed when Abby stroked his neck before pinching her little fingers around his mane and yanking it abruptly.

  “No, Abby. Gentle hands,” Ali spoke in the firm tone that usually got Abby’s attention, as she untangled her fingers from his black mane, which she noticed was in need of trimming. She then took Abby’s tiny hand in hers and reinforced the proper way to pet an animal. “Nice hands, Abby…Good girl,” she stated, as she rewarded Jack’s patience with a solid rub along his withers and down the length of his back. “That’s the way you like it, don’t you, boy?”

  “Goo grr,” Abby repeated, concentrating adorably, trying to form the words as she puckered her little ribbon lips.

  “Yes, good girl,” Abby mimicked the way Ali rubbed Jack’s neck, then turned her attention to her mommy and softly pet the side of Ali’s head as she bent down to pick up a brush and got to work.

  After helping Claudia feed the horses and lock up the barn, Ali secured Abby in her car seat and headed home for dinner and a bath. Waiting for the security gate to open, she looked in the rearview mirror and smiled at the sight of Abby wiggling and singing along to the Frozen soundtrack playing through the speakers. Well, maybe not singing exactly, but she was mumbling along to the words, and knew when to hit the high notes.

  Even though her life hadn’t turned out as she’d planned, Ali really was happy and in a good place.

  Life was good.

  Snuggling with Abby on the couch before bedtime, Ali hugged her little girl close as they watched Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day on the television, the smell of watermelon shampoo and little girl filling the air and warming her heart.

  She reached for her phone as it started to ring. Seeing Evan’s handsome face on the screen had her heart quickening and her stomach twisting with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. He was, at once, the bane of her existence and the wishful center of her universe, the dueling emotions always bubbling just beneath the surface and setting her off-kilter.

  Ali had visited Auckland in July with her family and spent a fair amount of time with Evan while she was there, and since she’d returned home, he called almost every night to say goodnight to Abby. Before disconnecting, they’d usually talk for a few minutes, and on a handful of occasions their conversations had continued into the wee hours of the morning. He was trying to be a better father and she was grateful for that.

  It was a good thing, she reminded herself every time his smiling face appeared on the screen of her phone, but it still left her feeling raw and exposed.

  Ali suspected the regular phone calls were one of the reasons she was having such a hard time moving on from her relationship with Evan, but she couldn’t tell him not to call when he was trying so hard to maintain a connection with his daughter.

  She’d made a vow to herself when Abby was born to never be one of those parents who used their child as a weapon to hurt their ex, no matter how tempting, and she’d remained true to her word and never denied Evan access to his daughter. She’d never admit to it, but she secretly looked forward to his calls each evening and enjoyed hearing about his day, or even the weather.

  His voice was deep and smooth like chocolate, with a sexy fusion of a Kiwi and British accent that left her hypnotized, and she’d always loved just listening to him speak.

  Once upon a time, he’d enjoyed teasing her by reading steamy romance novels out loud to her, but listening to him read the phone book would’ve been sexy too. She’d cuddle against his chest and close her eyes, just letting the words wash over her until he’d put the book down, pretending to be horrified by the sex scenes. All the while, he gave her the crooked smile she loved so much, which told her that he wasn’t horrified at all…quite the opposite, in fact.

  Shaking off the sudden flush of lust at the memory, she braced herself for his nightly phone call. “Look, Abby, Daddy’s on the phone,” she cheerfully announced, as Abby sat up and pointed to the picture.

  “Dada, Dada.”

  Swiping the screen to answer his call, she took a calming breath. “Hey.”

  “Hi, Ali. Can you switch to FaceTime?”

  “Sure. Hold on a second.”

  Pressing the circle on the screen, she smiled at the sight of Evan sitting in his hotel room. “Look, sweetheart. It’s Daddy.”

  Abby touched the phone and then wrapped her little hand around it as she pulled it to her face. “Dada.”

  “You just caught her before bedtime,” Ali softly giggled, as she watched Abby fumble with the phone. “Here, sweetie. Hold it like this so you can see Daddy.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I figured. I was just getting ready for bed myself, but thought I’d give you a call first.” Ali could see the sadness in his warm brown eyes as he watched Abby intently through the phone, his gaze trying to keep up with her erratic movements. “Hi, sweetheart. How’s my girl?”

  Abby continued babbling incoherently, oblivious to her father’s distress, but Ali could read him like a book, always could, and knew how severely he was hurting. He also looked a bit battered.

  Evan had followed in his father’s footsteps and was a professional rugby player with the Blues, Auckland’s super rugby team, and New Zealand’s national team, the All Blacks. He was currently on the European tour with the All Blacks, and if her dates were correct, he was now in Edinburgh, Scotland.

  When Abby rubbed her eyes for the third time and let out a dramatic sigh, Ali knew she needed to get her little angel to bed quickly, before she got a second wind. Which soon thereafter would be followed by a complete and total meltdown when she became overtired, and a set of horns would miraculously sprout from the top of her head.

  Letting Abby hold onto the phone, she picked her up and climbed the stairs to her bedroom. Tucking her in, Abby continued to babble to Evan as Ali settled on the bed n
ext to her.

  Her baby was growing up so quickly, and Ali wanted to cherish every moment. Before she knew it, Abby would be too old to have her mommy tuck her in at night and would be full of sass and vinegar, rolling her eyes and asking to be dropped off around the corner to escape the horror of her friends catching a glimpse of her mother.

  The creep of time was inevitable, but Ali just wished there was a way to bottle this moment in time…to hold onto her little girl for just a little while longer.

  After they’d moved into their new home, Abby had startled her by climbing out of her crib in the middle of the night. In the process of looking for Ali, Abby had made her way past the open staircase. The full-on panic attack that followed, as Ali clutched her baby tightly to her chest and the reality of what could’ve happened sunk in, was something she never wanted to relive. Once was more than enough. The frightening images of Abby injuring herself as she dropped to her bedroom floor, or tumbling down the stairs in an effort to find her mommy, had her shopping for a bed the following day.

  Even though she wasn’t mentally prepared to have her baby in a big girl bed yet, Ali added the bed to Abby’s room, bought a guard rail for the new bed, closed the baby gate at the top of the stairs at night, and without further ado, officially transitioned to the next stage of development.

  Time waited for no one, not even distraught mommies who were desperate to keep their babies as…babies for just a little while longer. Even if you recited a litany of prayers, begged and pleaded, or when all else failed…stomped your feet in a temper tantrum worthy of a temperamental two-year-old, time marched on.

  “Give Daddy a goodnight kiss, sweetheart,” Ali instructed, after she’d read her favorite bedtime story of Goodnight Moon, and smiled as Abby brought the phone to her lips, placing a smacking kiss on the screen.

  Ali leaned down and placed a kiss on her little girl’s forehead. “Goodnight, sweet pea. Mommy loves you.” As she took the phone from Abby’s hands and turned out the light, she quietly turned for the door, then gently closed it behind her.

  “Hey, don’t hang up just yet. I wanted to talk to you,” Evan stated, as she made her way down the wide staircase to the family room.

  “Okay. What’s up?”

  “I’d like to come for Christmas. Would you mind?” Confusion at his unexpected announcement caused her to stumble, and she reached for the railing to steady herself.

  “No. Of course I wouldn’t mind, Evan. You’re always welcome; you know that.” She tried not to sound defensive, but knew it came out that way. “I’ve never kept you away from Abby.”

  “I know, and I’m not saying that.” He let out a frustrated breath in an exaggerated huff. “I also wanted to let you know that I’m announcing my retirement from the All Blacks after this tour.”

  “What?” Ali felt her heart rate kick into high gear at his abrupt proclamation, but cautiously reminded herself that his retirement had nothing to do with her. He was never one for beating around the bush, but it would’ve been nice if he’d eased her into it, instead of just blurting it out. “Really?”

  “Yeah, I reckon it’s the right time. Go out on top and all that. And I’d like to be able to spend more time with Abby.” Ali’s heart sank when she was forgotten once again. Of course he wanted to spend time with Abby, but the realization that she wasn’t a factor in his decision still stung. “Plus, I don’t bounce back as easily as I used to, and I’m tired of the constant travel.”

  The room shifted off-kilter and her heart rate surged again for an entirely different reason, as her mind raced with endless questions…each one more troublesome than the next. Would Evan want to take Abby back to New Zealand for extended periods of time? He’d never mentioned it before, but now that Abby was getting older and he’d have a longer break between rugby seasons, it was entirely possible.

  And, stupidly, she’d never insisted on a custody agreement.

  Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

  How could she have been so lax? Securing custody of Abby should’ve been on the top of her priority list.

  He was making an effort to be more involved with Abby, and wanting her to visit him would be a natural progression of their relationship, but the thought of being that far away from her baby left her lightheaded and a bit queasy.

  Well, if he insisted on Abby staying with him in the off-season, he’d get two visitors for the price of one. Mother and child were a package deal, take it or leave it.

  Feeling like she’d just run a marathon, she collapsed into the overstuffed couch cushions and tried to remember the breathing techniques she employed in the yoga classes she took three times a week at the neighborhood clubhouse.

  Breathe in through the nose…hold...and out through the mouth. No need to panic yet, she tried to convince herself.

  She could taste the bitter bile in the back of her throat as she swallowed past the lump forming there, and for a moment, thought she might actually throw up.

  “Congratulations…I guess,” she managed to mumble after a stretch of silence that lasted a beat too long.

  “Thanks. This is a good thing, Ali.”

  Well, that remained to be seen, but she didn’t want to give him any ideas, so she quickly changed the subject as she bit back the sting of nervous tears and settled into the corner of the couch, covering herself with a throw blanket to ward off the chills and the growing rush of panic threatening to whisk her away.

  Thank you for reading Stay With Me! I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, please help other readers find this book:

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  EMMA’S PLAYLIST

  Question – Old 97’s

  January Wedding – The Avett Brothers

  Banana Pancakes – Jack Johnson

  Rise to Me – The Decemberists

  Sleep Please Come to Me – Matthew Barber

  New Slang – The Shinns

  Carolina In My Mind – James Taylor

  God Bless the Broken Road – Rascal Flats

  Be Mine – David Gray

  Zeplike – Slightly Stoopid

  Closer to the Sun – Slightly Stoopid

  Chicken Fried – Zach Brown Band

  My Lady and the Mountain – Avett Brothers

  Someone Like You – Van Morrison

  Into the Mystic – Van Morrison

  Make You Feel My Love – Adele

  Bartender Song – Rehab

  Redemption Song – Bob Marley

  What I Got – Sublime

  Drop It Like It’s Hot – Snoop Dog

  Say Hey (I Love You) – Michael Franti & Spearhead

  The Greatest Sum – The Avett Brothers

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Alexa Powers lives in North Carolina with her children and the furry friends her children have collected over the years. When not daydreaming about the cast of characters which have taken up residence in her head, Alexa Powers can be found in front of her computer or spending time with her three beautiful daughters. A ferocious reader from a young age, Alexa is a sucker for a happily ever after and considers herself lucky to be able to call herself a writer.

  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  Acknowledgments

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16 />
  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Epilogue

  Excerpt from Belong With Me, The Andersons Book 2

  Emma's Playlist

  About the Author