Shattered Identity

by Sandra Robbins

  Scott laughed. “Not a chance. You and Betsy have been great mothers to Emma, and you’re going to be terrific with this baby.” He glanced down at the sack he held. “My coffee’s getting cold. I need to get going. Tell Emma I’ll catch up with her later.”

  They waved to him as he climbed into his police cruiser and pulled into traffic. Try as he might, he couldn’t put his conversation with his sisters out of his mind. They acted as if he and Lisa were already involved. If that’s what they thought, he’d have to make sure they understood his interest in Lisa was strictly professional.

  All he wanted was to find out who had attacked Lisa and trashed her house. From what he’d been able to ascertain, Lisa had no enemies. In fact, she was well liked by everyone who knew her. A chill ran through his body. A year ago, Kate had thought only Ean and Mike Thornton hated her, but she’d been wrong. She experienced the worst time of her life when a seemingly meek person who was in reality a sadistic killer had arrived on Ocracoke and targeted her. Could something like that be behind the attempts to frighten Lisa? Or was it that, as they suspected, Calvin Jamison wanted to get back at her for the imagined wrongs she had done him.

  He tightened his hand on the steering wheel and gritted his teeth. Whoever was behind the burglaries at Lisa’s house had to be stopped—and soon—before someone ended up getting hurt. He didn’t want that someone to be Lisa.

  Lisa had tried all morning to concentrate on her job, but her thoughts kept straying to the journal she’d tucked inside her desk drawer when she’d come to work. Although she’d wanted to open it last night when she got back to Treasury’s bed-and-breakfast, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She had no idea why her hand froze each time she started to turn to the first page. Maybe she was scared of what she would find, then perhaps the fear that her mother had never really loved her would be proven true in the written words.

  With a sigh she tried once again to pull her thoughts away from the book. The front door to the police station opened, and Scott Michaels walked into the room. His hair appeared damp with perspiration, but his blue eyes held a gleam of surprise.

  He held a small cardboard carton containing a white bag and two cups of coffee. Lisa’s heart shriveled at The Coffee Cup’s logo on the sack. Scott smiled and set the container on her desk. “I bought some coffee and blueberry muffins. I thought we could treat ourselves to something for a break.”

  Lisa blinked at the tears in the corners of her eyes. How many times had Calvin brought her something from The Coffee Cup? At the time she’d thought it was because he was interested in her, but she had been proven wrong.

  She tried to speak, but her vocal cords wouldn’t cooperate. Instead she reached for a cup, took a sip and savored the hot liquid that melted the icy feeling in her throat. “Thanks, Scott. That was very nice of you.”

  He smiled, and she noticed how his mouth crooked up on one side. “I saw my sisters when I was coming out of The Coffee Cup.”

  She tilted her head to one side. “You did? I talked to Kate this morning.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, that’s what they said.” He took a bite of muffin and pulled a napkin from the sack. “They were going to the store to get groceries for Treasury’s birthday celebration on Friday night. Since I’m on days now, I can be home that night. Treasury has come to mean a lot to me, and I don’t want to miss her birthday.”

  “Betsy invited me, too.”

  “Good.” He drained his coffee and tossed the cup in the trash can. “I need to get back on patrol. I’ll check in with you from time to time and let you know what’s happening around town. I hope we have a quiet afternoon.”

  “Me, too. And don’t forget I’m taking you to dinner.”

  His gaze swept over her, and the intensity made her tremble. “I haven’t forgotten. I’ll see you later.”

  Lisa sat unmoving until the door closed behind him, then she released her pent-up breath. What was the matter with her? Ever since she’d regained consciousness in her living room and seen Scott Michaels bending over her, she hadn’t been able to get him out of her mind.

  She clenched her fists, pushed back from her desk and stood. She had begun to experience unwelcome feelings where Scott was concerned, and it frightened her. Dinner tonight was supposed to be repayment for his kindness to her. That was supposed to be their one and only social meeting, but she should have known he wouldn’t miss Treasury’s birthday.

  If he was going to be at Kate’s on Friday night, it might be better if she didn’t go. She’d no sooner had the thought than she realized how ridiculous she was being. Treasury had taken her in when her house had been vandalized, and it would be rude for her to stay away from the party.

  She took a deep breath. Dinner tonight with Scott, then Treasury’s party on Friday. After that she would keep her distance from the man who stirred her in ways no one else ever had. Satisfied she had come to the right decision, she sank back into her chair, directed her attention to the computer screen in front of her and tried to ignore the thought that crept into her mind. She might have made the right decision, but she didn’t know if she had the willpower to follow through with it.

  FIVE

  Three p.m. Lisa sighed and rubbed the bump on her head that throbbed. This had been the longest day she’d ever had at work. Maybe she should have taken another day off to recuperate. Luckily for her, the office had been quiet with few calls coming into the station. Of course, only the local residents called the line connected to their office. Tourists with emergencies called 911, and those calls went to the terminal on the mainland, where they were relayed here to Ocracoke. With their island twenty-five miles from the mainland and two and a half hours away by ferry, the county’s emergency offices stationed here responded as soon as she received the message.

  However, today hadn’t seen any emergencies, and she was glad. All she wanted to do was get rid of this headache and tackle the journal in her desk drawer. She still hadn’t been able to pull it out even though she wanted to.

  Now caught up on all her work, she had an opportunity to peek at the first few pages. She pulled the journal from the drawer, rubbed her fingers over the leather cover and opened it to the first page. Her mother’s name written in the middle of the page had the same effect on her as it had the night before. Her breath caught in her throat and her chest squeezed.

  Even though tears formed in her eyes, she forced herself to turn the page. She blinked and struggled to make out the neatly written words that flowed in a straight line across the paper.

  April 1, 1982.

  Has it only been six months since I came to this forsaken island? It seems longer. My life here is very lonely since John is gone to sea for long periods of time, and I haven’t made any friends. I have to talk to someone, so I’ve decided to put my thoughts down in this book. Thank goodness I have a hiding place that no one will suspect. I would never have found it if I had not been trying to store some books on the closet’s top shelf. It will be safe from the prying eyes of my mother-in-law, who dislikes me so much. I wish John hadn’t insisted we live with his mother. Now I know how a prisoner feels when she wants to break out of prison. The urge to escape increases every day. I may do that one night soon—wait for her to go to sleep and sneak out for a bit of fun at the Sailors’ Catch Pub. It’s either do that or die of loneliness.

  The tears Lisa had blinked away earlier returned. Her mother’s image from the worn photograph she carried returned to her mind, and her heart constricted at the sadness of the words she’d read. When her mother had written those words, she was younger than Lisa was now. In those days, there were even fewer residents on the island, and the tourists hadn’t yet discovered this paradise in the Atlantic. It must have seemed a desolate place for a young woman whose husband was a commercial fisherman and was away for extended periods of time. Even if these hadn’t been her mo
ther’s words, Lisa would have been saddened to think of any young wife with such an unhappy day-to-day life.

  “Hey, Lisa. How are you doing after all your excitement?”

  Lisa jumped at the unexpected interruption and looked up to see Terry Davidson enter the office. She’d been focused so intently on the journal she hadn’t heard the front door open. Glancing down at the journal still open on her desk, she closed it and stuck it back in the drawer. With a shaky smile she folded her hands on her desk and assumed her most professional pose. “Hi, Terry. I’m fine. What brings you here? I hope you don’t need assistance from one of our deputies.”

  He pushed his sunglasses up into the sandy shock of hair that always looked windblown and shook his head. “No, I was at The Coffee Cup this morning, and I heard Grady talking about the break-ins at your house. I thought I’d check on an old friend, especially since I haven’t seen you around lately.”

  She narrowed her eyes and gazed at Terry. They had been classmates at the island school, but they had never been close friends. Why did he feel it necessary to stop by? “It’s nice that you thought about me, but everything’s okay. It was quite a shock to come home to such a mess, but I’ll get it all repaired.”

  “Any leads on who might have done it?”

  “No, not yet, but our deputies are working on it.”

  He nodded. “Good. Grady said something about you finding your mother’s diary. How did that happen?”

  Her face grew warm, and she clasped her hands tighter. “We found it while we were cleaning up.”

  “Wow, that must have been a surprise. All these years after your mother’s death, you’ve found her diary. Of course, I was too young to know her, but I’ve heard my folks talk about her through the years. I expect they’re not the only O’cockers who still wonder why she took her own life that way. Word is that a lot of folks thought she was grieving over your father’s death. Do you think that’s why she jumped from the lighthouse?”

  Lisa took a deep breath. “I don’t know.”

  “Maybe her diary will shed some light on her suicide.”

  Lisa fidgeted in her chair. She should never have told Grady what they’d found. Now everybody on the island would know. She pushed to her feet and stepped out from behind her desk. “If it does, then I guess I’ll have my burglar to thank. But I suppose time will tell.”

  “I never thought of it that way, but you’re right.” Terry smiled. “When Grady was telling a bunch of us over at The Coffee Cup about you finding the diary, some of the fellows in there who knew your parents said your mother was a beautiful woman. They mentioned that she used to hang out a lot at the Sailors’ Catch while your dad was gone. They said there were a lot of men who wished they’d met her before your dad did.”

  Lisa’s hackles went up. “I don’t know anything about that. I was only three when she died.”

  Terry nodded. “I know. I guess she was lucky to have your grandmother at home to take care of you at night while she went out.”

  “Look, Terry, I need to get back to work.” She wanted him out before she said something she’d regret.

  “Okay. Like I said, I just wanted to check on you. Having your house ransacked and finding your mother’s journal all at the same time must have been a shock. Grady said there was a message scrawled on your living room wall.” He pursed his lips as if deep in thought. “Umm, something like… ‘Calvin sends his regards.’ After his arrest last year, do you think he might hold a grudge?”

  “I have no idea. Calvin is in prison.”

  “But he still has friends on Ocracoke. Do you think one of them could be trying to frighten you?”

  “Possibly.”

  A small smile curled his lips, and he studied her for a moment. “What a few days you’ve had. Your house is broken into twice, a message from a guy you helped send to prison is scrawled on your wall and you find a diary that may answer your questions about your mother’s suicide. How are you holding up with all that’s happened to you?”

  “I’m fine.” Her stomach roiled. If Terry didn’t get out of here, she was going to scream. She glanced over her shoulder toward the back room of the office. “I hate to rush you off, but I really need to get back to work. There are some files in the other room I need to check, but I appreciate your stopping by. It was good to see you.”

  He nodded. “Just wanted to make sure you’re okay. And good luck with your mother’s diary. I hope you get the answers you’re looking for.”

  “Me, too.”

  She breathed a sigh of relief when Terry disappeared through the door. For some reason, his visit worried her. He had seemed concerned for her, but his questions had almost felt like an interrogation. Something just didn’t seem right about his visit.

  She sank into the chair behind her desk and stared at the door. After a moment, she sighed and pulled the journal out again. As she read through the next few pages, her mother’s unhappiness became even more apparent. The pages were filled with descriptions of her lonely days, tirades by her domineering mother-in-law, arguments with her husband, who seemed to stay away for longer periods of time, and her desperation to escape the life she was living on Ocracoke.

  Lisa’s heart constricted with each page she read. With a groan she slammed the book closed and stuck it into the oversize purse she always carried. If the diary was going to cause her heartbreak, maybe she shouldn’t read it. Scott’s warnings about not liking what she would find could very well prove to be true.

  She wiped at her eyes and gritted her teeth. At the moment, her emotions wouldn’t allow her to read more, but that would change. It might break her heart to read her mother’s unhappy words, but that didn’t matter. She had to know what had driven her mother to her death.

  Scott had heard Brock and Kate talk about the Brass Lantern, but he’d never been here before. Across the table, Lisa spooned the last bite of strawberry shortcake in her mouth and closed her eyes.

  “Umm, that was good.”

  Scott pushed his plate aside and chuckled. “I’m glad you suggested this place. It’s a step up from the Sandwich Shop, where I usually grab a bite when I’m on duty.”

  He let his gaze drift over the interior of the restaurant. Brass lanterns gave off a soft light from where they hung on wall sconces around the room. Smaller replicas adorned each white-draped table. Soft music drifted on the quiet air and added the right touch for the elegant establishment. The Brass Lantern wasn’t a place where tourists brought their children after a day at the beach. Rather it catered to couples who wanted to spend time together in a relaxed atmosphere.

  Scott’s gaze drifted to the couples seated across the room and came to rest on a man he’d seen earlier today. Ean Thornton, calmer than he’d been when Scott had encountered him before, appeared focused on the woman who sat across from him. As she talked, Ean laughed and pulled a cell phone from his coat pocket. He glanced at the keypad and laid the phone next to his plate.

  “Scott, did you hear what I said?”

  Surprised, he pulled his attention back to Lisa. “I’m sorry. Did you say something?”

  “I asked if you wanted more coffee, but you seemed lost in thought.”

  He smiled. “I’m sorry if I was ignoring you. I’ll try not to be such a wet blanket.”

  She laughed. “I didn’t say you were a wet blanket. Although I probably have been for the past few days.”

  “You’re not, but I wouldn’t blame you if you were. With your break-ins and the condition of your house—not to mention finding your mother’s diary—I’d say you have the perfect excuse to be distracted.”

  She picked up her fork and traced the design on the edge of her plate with the tines. “I read more of my mother’s journal today.”

  “Oh? I take it you weren’t happy about what you read.”


  She shook her head. “It made me sad to read how unhappy she was. It also made me wonder about my father. The way she describes him, he didn’t show her much attention. All my grandmother would ever tell me was that he worked hard and that my mother didn’t appreciate him. My grandmother never hesitated to let me know how much she disliked my mother, and she blamed her for my father’s death.”

  Scott frowned. “I thought he was killed in a boating accident.”

  “When I got older, I demanded my grandmother tell me how my mother could have caused his death. She said my parents had a violent argument one night, and he left the house the next morning and never came home. Pieces of his boat later washed up onshore. She said my mother drove him to his death.”

  When sadness flickered in her eyes, Scott pushed his plate out of the way and crossed his arms on the table. “I’m sorry, Lisa. No matter what your grandmother thought, she couldn’t be sure what happened at sea. You can’t dwell on things you can’t change.”

  She leaned back in her chair and regarded him with a questioning stare. “I can’t? How about you? It seems like you can’t get past what your aunt did to you.”

  Her words hit him like a punch in the stomach. He raked his hand through his hair. “Touché. I guess you got me on that one.”

  A smile pulled at her lips. “It seems we have more in common than we thought.”

  The better he got to know Lisa, the clearer it became they’d had very similar childhoods. After all these years, he had finally found happiness with his sisters. It troubled him that Lisa might never find that same family relationship.

  He nodded. “I wish I could help you find what I have with my sisters.”