Changing Gears

by Roseanne Beck

  She studies me, her lips twisted to the side like she always does when she’s weighing her words. “Promise you won’t freak out?”

  “Uh-oh. That bad, huh?”

  “Depends on how you look at it.”

  “Just say it. I’m a gigantic loser who’s almost thirty, living with his sister, and can’t even pick up women anymore.”

  Tracy cocks an eyebrow. “More like a great guy who’s a gigantic idiot because he hasn’t figured out that he’s in love.”

  “What?”

  “Sorry to have to be the one to break it to you, but...” She shrugs.

  Her words continue to hammer at me, and my chest feels like it’s caving in on itself. I double over, trying to catch my breath. “I take it back. Maybe I am having a pulmonary embolism.”

  The cushion next to me depresses, and Tracy rubs my back like she used to do when we were little. “Nope. Pretty sure this one’s a panic attack.”

  I follow her through a couple of breathing exercises, straightening back up when it doesn’t feel like I’m on the brink of passing out anymore. “What the hell? How could I possibly be in love with her? I barely know her.”

  Except, I feel like I do know her. Better than pretty much anyone else.

  And it felt like she knew me, too. Like she really saw me.

  Tracy shrugs. “Sorry. Love doesn’t come with an instruction manual.”

  Silence fills the air for several beats.

  “What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

  “Well... Now you figure out what kind of idiot you are.”

  “What?”

  “The way I see it, you can either be the idiot who gives up on something that could potentially be the best thing that’s ever happened to him, or you could be the idiot who puts himself out there, even though there are no guarantees that she loves you back.”

  “Shit.”

  “Yep.”

  I heave a sigh. “Well, you’d better have some good ideas on how to win Lauren back, because you seriously give the worst pep talks.”

  Tracy’s whoop is followed by Reece’s footsteps thudding down the hall. “What are you guys doing? Can I be done playing with myself?”

  “Yeah. I wish.” Tracy shakes her head.

  “Alright, Reece’s Pieces.” I pat the space next to me, and Reece scrambles up. “You remember Lauren?”

  A wayward chunk of Reece’s hair waves as he nods. “Uh-huh.”

  “Well, your Mom and I were about to figure out what to do to show her how much I like her. You got any ideas?”

  Reece screws his face up. “Why don’t you just tell her?”

  “Simple. Effective. I like it.” I give Reece a high five.

  “Okay. That’s a start. But I think you might want to up the ante just a bit,” Tracy says. “Make it a little more memorable. You are Jake, after all, right?”

  I give Tracy a blank stare.

  “Go-big-or-go-home Jake? Death-defying, thrill-seeking Jake?”

  “Or how about Superhero Jake?” Excitement lights Reece’s eyes. “You could wear a costume and everything.”

  I open my mouth to let him know that I will definitely not be dressing up in Spandex or a cape, but close it as his suggestion triggers something that has potential. Something that’s totally me, totally her, and totally embarrassing if it doesn’t work.

  Well, it’s probably totally embarrassing even if it does work, but Tracy’s right. If there ever was a time to go big or go home, it’s now.

  I just hope I don’t wind up crashing like the last time I tried to go big.

  Because I’m not sure I’d survive this one.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Lauren

  KYLIE WHEELS THE CUSTOMER’S bike to the front of the shop. “Good as new, Stan. Remember to come in a little sooner next time. Those brakes don’t last forever, you know.”

  The wiry, grey-haired man lifts an arm, displaying an impressive case of road rash. “Yeah, I know. And maybe if you keep nagging me, one day I’ll finally remember to come in beforehand.”

  Kylie tilts her head. “You think if we added nagging to our service items, that might catch on?”

  Stan shrugs. “If it keeps me from eating dirt and having to listen to Martha yell at me about it later, I’m in.”

  “Huh,” I say, after Stan leaves. “That’s a really good idea. Dentists and doctors send out reminder texts all the time. Why don’t we?”

  “Dad and I talked about it, but we never got around to it. It was on my to-do list, but then after he died...” The reminder of his death hangs in the air for several moments until she speaks again. “Thanks for helping me out again today.”

  “No problem.” Especially since Jake’s at his doctor’s appointment and not coming back in today.

  “Yeah, it is a problem.”

  “What?”

  Kylie leans on the other side of the counter, her nose wrinkled. “It is a problem because you’re right. You are always there for me. With Dad. And the shop. You’re the glue that’s holding this together right now. The glue that’s holding me together. I know this isn’t what you wanted.” She swirls her hand through the air to indicate the shop. “You’ve given up a lot to help me keep it going. And I know I was hard on you with the whole Jake thing. And I’m sorry.” She blows out a breath and gives me a hesitant smile. “Can you forgive me for being an ungrateful jackass?”

  I swallow down the emotions vying to overtake my voice. “Yeah.”

  “Good. Because I’m gonna need all the help I can get in order to survive this co-bike program thing with Spence.”

  Yeah. She really is. In fact, maybe Aunt Sheila and I need to have a strategy session. Do some pre-planning for how to handle her when things go sideways.

  Wait. Scratch that. No, we don’t. We don’t have to preplan for every little thing, because that’s part of what I want to work on. Not planning several steps ahead. Taking things as they come. Loosening up.

  Just like Jake.

  My ribcage gets smaller as the thought sneaks into my brain once again.

  Dammit. When is this gonna pass? When am I finally gonna put him out of my head and get on with my life?

  “Speaking of Spence,” Kylie continues. “Any chance you wanna help me kick his butt tonight?”

  I snap my attention back to Kylie. “Depends. What are you guys competing for this time?”

  “Well, he kinda challenged us to a karaoke sing-off tonight.”

  “Really? I didn’t know Spencer can sing.”

  “He can’t. Which is why I’m not really sure what his strategy is.”

  “Maybe his strategy is just to relax and have drinks and do some brainstorming about the bike program.”

  Kylie narrows her eyes. “Hmmm. Maybe.”

  I narrow my eyes, mirroring Kylie’s suspicion, as an idea takes root. “Wait. Did you just apologize to me so I’d sing karaoke and you could beat Spencer?”

  “What? No. I am perfectly capable of beating Spence on my own, thank you very much.”

  Oh, Lord. If Kylie thinks she’s a better singer than Spencer, she’s either got the whole delusional thing going again, or I should take earplugs. Maybe enough for the entire bar.

  Either way, it should be entertaining. And I could use a little fun right about now.

  AS I FOLLOW KYLIE ACROSS the bar toward Spencer’s table, I make note of the usual suspects. The Blue Hair ladies tittering amongst themselves at the table up front, Sonny and Cher cuddled up in a corner booth, and Mullet Mike nursing a beer at the bar. Huh. Looks like he got a new jumpsuit.

  He raises his drink at me as I walk by. “Don’t be cruel, now, you hear?”

  “Um... Okay.” Weird. Does he always talk in Elvis titles?

  “Hey, ladies.” Spencer grins and gestures to the empty seats. “Thanks for joining me.”

  “Thanks for the invite.” Despite the fact that I’m trying not to, my eyes dart around the room. I’m not sure if I’m more relieved or disap
pointed when my Jake radar comes up empty.

  Kylie slides into the chair across from Spence, and I slide into the seat between them as Spencer pours two beers from his pitcher. “Cheers.” He raises his glass and waits as we do the same. “To the beginning of a beautiful relationship.”

  “Aw, Spencer. That’s very thoughtful. Isn’t it, Kylie?” I give her a pointed look.

  “Yeah, yeah. Very thoughtful.” She rolls her eyes and takes a healthy swallow of her drink.

  Spencer winks. “What can I say? I’m a thoughtful kind of guy.”

  Kylie snorts. “Ow. Crap. That stings. Got beer up my nose.”

  I catch Spencer’s eye, and he bites back a smile, quickly schooling his features when Kylie glares at him.

  “So, Spencer,” I say, “what are your thoughts on the whole co-winner thing?”

  Spencer sips his beer. “Well, I have to admit it took me by surprise.”

  Kylie barks out a laugh. “Yeah. Join the club.”

  “But I think this could be a really good thing,” he continues. “For all of us. And I’d rather be a co-winner than an all-out loser.”

  “Well then, you probably shouldn’t have suggested a karaoke contest, sucker,” Kylie says.

  Spencer raises an eyebrow. “Please. Have you heard yourself sing? It’s like listening to a bunch of cats in heat.”

  Kylie’s nostrils flare. “What? Like you’re any better. You couldn’t carry a tune if it was in a suitcase.”

  Spencer shrugs. “Yeah, well, at least I’m not delusional. I am fully aware that I suck.”

  “I know I suck.” Kylie shrugs. “I just suck with style.”

  The corner of Spencer’s mouth ticks upward. “That’s what I like about you. You admit that you suck, but you keep on doing it anyway. A lesser person would find that annoying.”

  “Hey!” Kylie scowls.

  Spencer’s attention shifts to something on the other side of the room, and he holds up a finger. “As much as I enjoy agreeing with you about how much you suck, we’ve got more important things to do right now.” He juts his chin at something behind Kylie.

  I follow his gaze and catch Mullet Mike making his way toward the stage.

  Wait. That’s not Mullet Mike.

  That’s Jake. In Mullet Mike’s rhinestone jumpsuit.

  Kylie turns in her seat. “What in the holy hell?”

  My thoughts exactly.

  Settling himself on his crutches, Jake pulls the microphone off the stand by the karaoke machine. His eyes lock onto mine, and my heart knocks against my ribs. Warmth curls low in my belly as he licks his lips. He takes a deep breath, blowing it out slowly as the first few notes of a slow ballad fill the bar.

  And then he begins to sing.

  His low, smooth voice sends pleasure jolts along my spine, and my breath catches as I realize why he’s dressed like that. He’s singing Elvis Presley’s Can’t Help Falling in Love.

  Oh, my God. He’s singing Elvis. In a rhinestone jumpsuit. About falling in love.

  It’s beautiful. And soulful. And, oh my God, I seriously can’t breathe as he asks if he should stay.

  Is this what I think it is? Is Jake really thinking about staying? And is he seriously telling me he’s in love with me? In a song? In front of the whole bar?

  Tears pool in my eyes, and I blink in an effort to contain them.

  This is nuts. He’s over me. Moved on. Moving away.

  But if the song and the way he’s singing it are to be believed, he’s not.

  Hope spreads its wings, and I work to swallow past the sudden thickening in my throat.

  This is, by far and away, the craziest, sweetest, most unexpected thing that’s ever happened to me. Kind of like Jake.

  I sit, spellbound, until the final note fades.

  The bar explodes into a mixture of catcalls, whistles, and thunderous applause.

  “Thank you,” Jake says, his Elvis imitation spot-on. “Thank you very much.” He places the microphone back on the stand, winks at the Blue Hair table, then slowly makes his way off the stage.

  “Wow,” Kylie breathes. “That was...”

  “Yeah.” My pulse pounds in my ears as he crutches toward us.

  Jake keeps his attention locked on me, a hesitant smile curving his mouth. “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

  Spencer pops up from his chair. “Great job, man. Kylie—can you come help me at the bar?”

  “What? Why do you need help—”

  Spencer rolls his eyes and tugs her shirt. “Just come with me.”

  “What? I don’t want...” Understanding flashes across her face. “Oh. Right.” Her eyes flick to Jake. “Your intentions here are honorable, right?”

  Jake crosses his heart. “Completely.”

  Kylie nods and follows Spencer to the bar.

  “Is this seat taken?” Jake gestures to one of the recently vacated chairs.

  I shake my head, not trusting myself to try to string words together.

  He sinks into the chair, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows. “Lauren, I have no idea what I’m doing. I think we can both agree that thinking things through is not my strong suit. And I know you’re the complete opposite. That you’ve probably got the next ten years planned out. And I have no idea if I fit into your plans, but I’d really like to try.” He rolls his lower lip between his teeth. “And I meant what I said up there. I have no idea exactly when it happened, and it still scares the shit out of me, but somewhere along the way, I fell in love with you.” He sucks in a breath and blows it out. “Do you think we could try again?”

  My head bounces up and down like a bobblehead. “I’d like that. A lot.” I launch myself at him and attach my lips to his. Oh, damn, I’ve missed this. Missed him. The way his mouth feels against mine, the way our tongues work in tandem, the way we just seem to fit.

  When we finally come up for air, Jake rests his forehead against mine. “Thank God. I was getting worried there for a few moments. Thought you were gonna tell me to fuck off.”

  “Are you kidding me? After what you just did? That was amazing.” I lean back and run my gaze over his outfit. “And very sparkly.”

  The low rumble of his laugh sends the pleasure tingles racing through me again. “Yep. Go big or go home.”

  “So, does this mean you’re staying?”

  He nods.

  “And does this mean you didn’t move on?”

  Confusion pinches his features.

  “The picture from the bar? The brunette? Last week?”

  “Oh.” He grimaces. “Full disclosure? I went there trying to get you out of my system. But I couldn’t. I think you broke me. That picture was for her nephew or cousin or something who’s big into Motocross.”

  Wow. Aunt Sheila was right. “Okay. Full disclosure? I think you broke me, too. I was afraid I’d never be able to eat another hot fudge brownie sundae again.”

  Jake gasps. “The horrors!”

  “I know. Scariest moments of my life.” I bite my lip to try to keep my smile in check. “But seriously... I think we need some ground rules moving forward.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah. I don’t think I can abide by that whole ‘honorable intentions’ thing.”

  “No?”

  “No. I think I’m gonna need at least ten percent dishonorable Jake.”

  The corners of his lips twitch. “Ten percent, huh?”

  “Yep. Like, maybe Wild Wednesdays.”

  “Or Motorcycle Mondays?”

  “Exactly.”

  He nods. “I think I can do that.”

  “I like your confidence.”

  He grins and leans forward, kissing me again. When he sits back, he shifts and stretches out his leg. A knee-high walking boot encases it.

  “Oh, hey—you got your cast off!”

  “Yep. Doc gave me the go-ahead to begin to put weight on it. If things go well, I should be able to get off the crutches in another couple of weeks.”

  “That�
��s awesome.”

  Jake winks. “You’re just saying that because you can’t wait to ride me.”

  My face heats. “Oh, my God. You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?”

  “Nope.”

  Tracy plops down into one of the empty seats, a smug look on her face. She takes a picture of us. “Speaking of things that are never getting lived down...” A grin stretches across her face as she eyeballs Jake’s outfit.

  “Hey!” Jake scowls. “I thought you said you were just gonna drop me off.”

  “What? And miss the chance to get action shots of you in this? I can’t decide if I want to use them for this year’s Christmas cards or for blackmail.” She taps her chin. “Decisions, decisions.”

  “Hey, Tracy.” I give her a little wave.

  Tracy’s gaze bounces back and forth between us, an expectant smile on her face. “So, I take it from that kiss that you two are thinking of getting the band back together?”

  I look at Jake, then nod.

  She lets out a squeal and does a shoulder shimmy. “Yay! We have so much to talk about. Did you know he used to like to wear his underwear overtop of his pants?”

  I cock an eyebrow. “No. I was not aware of that fact.”

  Jake shrugs. “It’s all the rage with superheroes.”

  Kylie and Spencer pull up additional chairs and sit down. “Is it safe to come back?” Spencer asks. “Or are we interrupting something?”

  “Only my sister,” Jake says. “Thanks for helping out, man.” He fist-bumps Spencer.

  “My pleasure.”

  “Help?” I ask.

  “Yep. Spencer was in charge of getting you here tonight.”

  Spencer winks. “You’re welcome.”

  “See?” Kylie jabs a finger at him. “I told you he had an agenda.” She huffs out a breath, a reluctant smile playing at her lips. “But I guess it’s okay this time.” Her expression softens even further. “If this is what you want, then I’m happy for you.”

  Tears prick my eyes again, and I turn my attention back to Jake. “Yeah. This is exactly what I want.”

  I didn’t know it, but this is exactly what I’ve always wanted.

  To feel like the best version of me.