Rancher Daddy (Family Ties Book 2)
Page 10
She’d gone and done it again, gotten herself involved when she was trying to opt out. She had a ton of sewing orders due, but they couldn’t compare with the thrill of sharing hosting duties with Luc.
“Let’s talk about it on the way back,” she said, noticing how Henry dragged his feet. “Time to saddle up, Henry.”
Moments later their horses were ambling toward Luc’s ranch as Holly spouted potluck ideas left and right.
“You could print out birthday invitations,” she said. “Specify birthday food so people will know what to bring. And you could supply dessert, which could be a big cake to celebrate everyone’s birthday.”
“Holly, I can’t make a cake!” Luc cried, so loud that a sleeping Henry roused in the saddle in front of him.
“I made a cake with Ms. Hilda,” Henry mumbled. “We could help you.”
“A very good idea,” Holly murmured. “Building bonds and all that.” Luc frowned then nodded. “You could decorate the yard with balloons and make it look like a real party. People will love to bring their children because they won’t have to find sitters.”
“I’d need activities for the kids then.” Luc frowned at her. “I don’t think I’m much good at that.”
“No time to learn like the present. After all, you’re going to be a father,” she reminded him with a wink.
They brainstormed all the way back. Only when they finally rode into the yard did Holly notice that dusk had crept across the ranch. By then Luc was really getting into the idea of hosting this party.
“I could have a bonfire and we could roast hot dogs,” he mused aloud as he lifted Henry down and held the sleeping boy cradled in his arms. “Or do you think a fire would be too dangerous with kids around?”
“Why not discuss it with Abby? She’d be able to give you the best advice.” Holly lifted his saddle packs off the horse and carried them into his house, noting how Henry’s arms had automatically moved to circle Luc’s neck.
The sweet sight of this big gentle man cradling the little boy made Holly sigh.
“He’s beat.” She could hear Luc’s fondness for Henry in his voice. “I’m going to put him straight to bed. He can shower in the morning.”
“I’ll leave you to it then,” Holly said quietly, needing to be alone to decipher her unusual feelings. “Thank you for a wonderful day. I had so much fun. Thanks for sharing Henry with me.”
She smiled at Luc but his answering smile did odd things to her stomach so she brushed a light hand across Henry’s cheek before kissing it then hurried out the door before Luc could coax her to stay.
Holly rode home quickly, her horse comfortable on the familiar paths. Her brain kept replaying moments throughout the day, special moments she’d tucked away to savor, moments when Luc had seemed like the soul mate she’d once hoped Ron might be.
How wrong she’d been about Ron. Everything she thought she’d known, everything she thought she’d loved had been mistaken. And now, as she pondered the day she’d spent with Luc, she thought perhaps she understood why.
She hadn’t really loved Ron. She’d never felt the peculiar, catch-your-breath reaction with Ron that she’d felt this afternoon. Nor had she felt it with the father of her child. Infatuation, yes. But how could she have thought that was love?
Holly had always known her mother hadn’t loved her father. Otherwise, why would she have left? Maybe that was why Holly craved that solid, steadfast, there-no-matter-what love in her own relationship. Other people found it. Abby had it with Cade. So why couldn’t she find it?
With Luc?
The question nagged at her as she curried the horse and put him away for the night.
Did she want a relationship with Luc? He was her good friend, but he’d never been more than that. She’d never wanted him to be. Did she now? Was that the reason behind these unusual reactions to him?
Holly stepped inside her house. Her spirit dropped at the piles of fabric littering the dining room and the dream dissipated. Of course she didn’t want a romantic relationship with Luc. She’d accepted that it was God’s will for her to remain single so why was she asking herself these silly questions when she had tons of orders to sew and ship?
She brewed herself a cup of coffee and set to work finishing the late orders, muttering to herself as she sewed an incorrect seam and had to pick it out from the delicate lace dress meant for a baby dedication.
Wait a minute! This was work that had always lifted her spirit, made her happy. So why did it feel like a chore?
“This is what you do, Holly,” she lectured out loud. “You make one-of-a-kind things for other people’s kids. It’s what you love,” she emphasized.
That didn’t help. A hank of glossy white satin lay sprawled across the sideboard. She rose and walked toward it, sliding her sensitive fingertips down the length, luxuriating in its weight and richness. Perfect for a new baby at a family event where friends and loved ones gathered to support the baby’s parents as they promised to raise their child to know God.
A well of longing erupted inside. Holly could not deny it. She wanted the husband, the family, the friends and the child. She’d tried to suppress it, pretended she didn’t crave what everyone else had. But those yearnings wouldn’t stay neatly tucked inside.
Okay, she could never have the child she’d birthed. That child had another family, another mother now. She’d made that decision knowing full well it was final.
“But I was just a kid. I didn’t realize—”
There was no point in going over it all again. Nothing had changed. She was still alone. Luc was her friend, but he didn’t want marriage. He’d made that very clear. She’d tried to find happily-ever-after with Ron, but he hadn’t been able to excuse her behavior. What God-fearing man could forgive a woman for giving her baby away in order to save her reputation?
For a while today Holly had let herself get caught up in the idea of her own romance but it was just a mirage, not reality.
Holly took another sip of her coffee then set it aside and began sewing, forcing everything from her mind but the work she needed to complete to pay for her father’s medical supplies and eventually the renovations for her sewing room.
God didn’t intend for her to be a wife or a mother. It was time to put those dreams away.
Chapter Seven
“I’ve already made a potato salad and a garden salad, but are you sure I can’t help with something else for your potluck tonight?” Hilda asked Luc as she rebuttoned Henry’s shirt where he’d left a gap.
“Thanks, Ms. Hilda, but I have about a hundred lists. I’ve checked and rechecked and I think I—” Luc grinned at Henry. “I think we’ve got it covered.”
“Well, okay then.” Hilda smoothed Henry’s cowlick then stepped back and nodded in approval before turning to study Luc. “I do think this ‘birthday’ potluck is such a wonderful idea. We who volunteer for Family Ties have never done a birthday theme before. It’s going to be a fun night tonight, especially for Holly.”
“Why Holly?” Luc asked, slightly confused.
“Because her birthday is tomorrow.” She frowned at him. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten the shenanigans Marcus went through to celebrate her special day?”
The thing was, Luc had forgotten.
“I remember when Holly was just a wee thing and her dad wanted to surprise her with a pony.” Hilda chuckled. “The whole town was in on getting that little pinto pony to the ranch and hiding it so she wouldn’t find it till morning.”
“Her birthday is tomorrow.” Luc checked his watch to confirm the date and frowned. How could he have forgotten? More to the point, what was he going to do to make it especially nice for Holly, not the least because she’d been there helping him prepare?
“You didn’t remember?” Hilda frowned at him as if she suspected he was addled by the sun.
“How could I forget?” Luc said with a laugh, as if he’d known all along. With sudden inspiration he asked, “Ms. Hilda, you don’t
have any strings of those fairy lights folks use at Christmas, do you?”
“Why, yes, I do. I have several boxes. I intended to put them up last Christmas but then I went on that trip and didn’t have time so they’ve never been used. Why?” She inclined her head like a curious bird.
“May I borrow them? For the potluck tonight?”
“Well…”
It took a little explaining but finally Hilda approved his newest idea. Luc loaded the lights in his truck, thanked her for them then headed over to the bakery to add a birthday cake to his order and tell them Abby would pick it up. He wasn’t taking any chances of making a cake that could ruin his party.
“You sure have a lot of errands.” Henry trotted hard to keep pace as Luc led him through the five-and-dime store for balloons, some multicolored streamers and a bag of candy.
“Yes, I do. Hey, there’s Mayor Marsha. I need to talk to her.” Luc handed him the items and gave him ten dollars to pay for it while he explained his change of plans to Marsha. “It’s Holly’s birthday tomorrow so I thought we’d turn tonight’s potluck into a surprise party, if that’s okay with you.”
“Sounds like a fantastic idea,” Marsha enthused. “It will make Holly’s birthday less sad for this first year without her father.”
“I know the town has some kind of phone list where one person calls the next. Could you use it to send some calls around so folks know we’re celebrating her birthday?” Luc asked.
“Something special for Holly.” Marsha gave Luc a knowing glance. “Leave it to me.” She waggled her fingers goodbye before hurrying away. Luc stared at her disappearing figure, confused by that look.
“Here’s the change,” Henry said, tugging on Luc’s pant leg to get his attention. “What’s this candy for?”
“I’ll explain later. Now we need to go to the florist.” Once he picked out the flowers and arranged for them to be delivered to Holly tomorrow morning, Luc drove back to his ranch mentally reviewing the tasks still to be done for tonight.
“What’s my job?” Henry demanded when they arrived at the ranch.
“You fill this with the candy.” He showed Henry how to ease the candy through the hole in the rainbow piñata he’d bought earlier. “While you work at that, I’m going to hang Ms. Hilda’s lights.”
“But you told Holly you weren’t going to hang any lights for the potluck,” Henry said. Looking suddenly bashful he added, “I heard you say that at church on Sunday.”
“I wasn’t going to hang them,” Luc said, feeling a little bashful himself.
“So why are you?” As usual, Henry was full of questions.
Luc really liked his inquisitive side. Henry’s desire to learn was refreshing, but Luc wasn’t crazy about explaining his change of heart regarding the lights. Mostly because he hadn’t yet figured out himself why it mattered so much. Judging by the look on Henry’s face, he wasn’t about to leave the subject without getting an answer.
“Holly loves fairy lights. Since her birthday is tomorrow, I think we should do something extra special for her.” Luc paused in unpacking the lights to glance at Henry.
Those big brown eyes held a steady bead on him. “You like Holly, don’t you?”
“Yes,” Luc admitted. “We’re good friends.”
“Holly has lots of friends,” Henry said.
“She sure does,” Luc agreed, thinking how true it was.
“Know why? ’Cause she makes people feel better.” Henry returned to stuffing candy into the piñata.
“You mean with medicine?” Henry shook his head. Curious to hear his response Luc asked, “Why, then?”
“She makes them feel better inside.” Henry patted his chest. “In here. She always smiles and says nice things and tries to help.”
“Yes, she does.” Luc couldn’t smother his own smile as he draped the tiny lights from tree to tree, creating what would become an arbor of light after dark.
Holly certainly made him feel better inside but that was friendship. It didn’t mean anything more. Slightly unsettled by the turn of his thoughts, Luc mentally listed all the reasons there could be nothing more than friendship between them.
Remember the hit to your ego when Sarah dumped you? Remember how hard it was to get back your self-esteem? Remember that hollow sick feeling in your stomach every time you went to some activity at church and realized you didn’t fit in the couples’ groups or the married groups anymore? That again you were a single man in a church full of families?
Luc remembered all of it. Too well. He could close his eyes and it would all come back, that feeling that he wasn’t enough, that he had no pictures of his kids to proudly show off like other men, that he couldn’t make teasing jokes about his wife.
But he didn’t want a relationship, certainly not that stomach-turning reaction on realizing that the woman he’d trusted completely hated everything about him. It all rushed back like a tidal wave. No way would he risk going through all that misery again.
Yet, in a way, Luc didn’t want to forget any of what he’d gone through because he didn’t want to make the same mistake. He had no desire to pour his love into a relationship only to be dumped all over again.
At first he’d seen the breaking of his engagement as something terrible, but now he realized that it’d been a blessing. At least it had saved him from the same fate as his buddies. So did that mean his broken engagement had been part of God’s will?
“You’re not eating all those candies, are you, Henry?” he called, suddenly aware of the silence.
“Just two peanut butter ones. I love peanut butter.” Henry’s lips smacked. Luc squinted and saw streaks of chocolate and peanut butter smeared across his face, especially around his lips.
“Henry, it’s not good for you to eat too many—” He cut off the reprimand when Henry tossed a candy at him.
“You like peanut butter, too.” Henry selected another candy for himself with a sneaky grin.
“Yes, I do.” Luc grinned and popped the chocolate in his mouth, almost laughing aloud at Henry’s wit. “But that’s enough. We don’t want to spoil our supper.”
“Just one more, okay?” The candy was in Henry’s mouth before Luc could protest.
Luc gave the boy a stern look, and Henry went back to stuffing the piñata. Luc returned to stringing another set of lights. A tickle of laughter burst out as he envisioned Holly’s surprise when she saw the lights twinkling above her tonight. He started to whistle and then paused. What was all this bubbly feeling about?
“Where are you going to hang the rainbow?” Henry asked.
“I don’t know.” Luc climbed down from his ladder, surveyed his work and nodded. It looked good and until they were switched on, Holly would never even guess he’d put them up. “Where do you think the piñata should hang?”
“Is it just for kids?” When Luc assured him it was, Henry surveyed the yard then pointed. “Over there. Then they won’t hit anyone if they miss.”
“Excellent choice. Can you hold it while I hang it?” A few minutes later the rainbow gently waved in the warm afternoon breeze. “Good job, Henry.”
“Is it gonna rain?” Henry asked, scanning the sky.
“No, that’s not a rain sky. One day I’ll teach you about clouds.” Luc smiled at the very thought of such a delightful future. “Anyway we can’t have rain on the night of our party for Holly,” he chided as he tickled Henry under his ribs and then swung him in a circle. And surely nothing could stop his plans to adopt this precious boy.
They collapsed together on the ground. The feel of Henry in his arms, the sound of his giggles in his ears brought a lump to Luc’s throat. Was there anything more blessed than a child’s laughter? Wanting to enjoy every ounce of pleasure with Henry while he was here, Luc collapsed on the grass and lay back, pointing out the cloud formations to the almost-son pressed against his side.
It should have been perfection, but some niggling part of Luc wished Holly was here to share these moments with Henr
y and him.
“I hope I get to live here soon.” Henry lay with his head tucked under Luc’s arm.
“I hope so, too, Henry. I hope it more than anything.” Luc sent up a prayer before he hugged him close. For the hundredth time he assured himself that adopting Henry had to be God’s will.
“Do we have chores before the party?” Henry sat up when Luc nodded. “Should I change into my work clothes?”
“You know where they are?” Luc asked.
“In the closet in my room.” Henry jumped to his feet. “I’ll race you to the house.”
“No rush,” Luc told him, but he doubted Henry heard as he took off running to the room Luc had painted blue because Henry loved the color.
“I’m ready.” Henry returned to the kitchen a few moments later proudly dressed in the baggy overalls and red plaid shirt Luc had bought him. He danced from foot to foot, clearly impatient. “Hurry, Luc. We don’t want to be late for the party.”
“How could we be late? It’s going to be held here,” Luc grumbled, dumping out his coffee after only a taste. “We can hardly miss it.”
Truthfully, Luc felt the same excitement as Henry, but he couldn’t decide if it was because of Henry’s presence in his home or because Holly was coming. Probably both, he decided then thrust away the tiresome warning his brain kept offering about getting too close to Holly. How perfect that Henry seemed to love helping with jobs around the ranch.
They worked together companionably with Henry asking his usual plethora of questions. When chores were done they went inside to shower. Luc went first while Henry enjoyed one last candy that somehow hadn’t made it into the piñata. Then it was Henry’s turn to shower. When his squeaky tones warbled from the bathroom all the way to the kitchen where Luc was polishing his boots, Luc sat still and let the sound of it penetrate to his heart.
This is what I want, God.
He realized the only other time he’d felt this burst of joy was when he was with Holly. Luc’s world came alive when Holly stopped by just as it did when he was with Henry.