Dare to Stay (Puppy Love Romances Book 3)

by Georgia Beers

  “Right,” Sydney said with a nod. She felt movement next to her and when she turned back to Jessica, she was muttering, “excuse me,” and heading to the doorway in the back with the Restrooms sign hanging over it.

  There was a beat of silence at the table, and then Ashley said something about a movie she and Lisa had seen and conversation started up again.

  “I’ll be right back,” Sydney said quietly and went off in search of Jessica, almost as if her body moved of its own volition. She didn’t want to go find Jessica, didn’t want to know what exactly was bothering her, didn’t want to talk it through with her. Did she? But regardless of the dialogue happening in her head, her feet continued to take her to the restroom until she pushed through the door and found Jessica standing at the sink, hands braced on the counter, head hanging down between her shoulders. She looked up at the sound of the door, had brief eye contact with Sydney, then made a sound like that of a child who got a tuna fish sandwich in her lunch instead of the anticipated PB&J.

  “You okay?” Sydney asked quietly, not really sure where to start. Or why she was even in this tiny room with two stalls that smelled much too strongly of the floral air freshener in the wall outlet.

  Jessica didn’t look at her. “Yep.”

  “Convincing.” They were clearly alone and Sydney leaned her back against the closed door, flipped the lock so they wouldn’t be disturbed.

  “Look.” Jessica finally made steady eye contact. Her jaw jutted forward slightly, telling Sydney she was angry. “I’ve had a rough, very busy week, and I had one too many cocktails, and I’m a little cranky. That’s all.”

  “That’s all?”

  “Yes. That’s all.”

  “Because it seems to me you’re really bothered by the fact that I don’t plan to stay here.” God, what are you doing? Just leave it alone. Her brain screamed at her, but Sydney couldn’t seem to keep the words in.

  “I’m not.”

  “No?”

  “No.” Jessica’s blue eyes were flashing now, flinty with anger and…something else. “I don’t care what you do.”

  “Right. Because you don’t even like me.”

  “I don’t. You’re right. I don’t like you.”

  “Why not?” Sydney’s tone was as hard as Jessica’s and they sparred like tennis players, batting words back and forth. Folding her arms across her chest, Sydney refused to see the gesture as any kind of shield. Which she knew it was. The only reason she’d need a shield was if these words from Jessica stung. Which they did.

  “You changed my entire telethon.”

  “I did. For its own good, yes.”

  Jessica seemed to abruptly run out of steam.

  Sydney waited a beat before saying, “That’s it? That’s the reason you don’t like me?”

  Jessica looked down at her feet, took in a slow breath and puffed it out in frustration. “You could at least see the city, get to know it before you decide to leave.” Her voice was very quiet, louder than a whisper, but not by much.

  Sydney cocked her head to one side and raised her eyebrows. “What in the world could there possibly be in this city to make me stay?” she asked honestly.

  She didn’t even see Jessica move, didn’t realize she’d closed the three steps that separated them, until Jessica grabbed Sydney’s head with both hands and crushed their mouths together. And then she couldn’t see. She couldn’t think. She could do nothing but feel. And taste. And melt. Jessica’s mouth was soft and yielding, yet aggressive and demanding. A dichotomy made of flesh and heat. She kissed like a goddess and Sydney’s knees went weak as she thanked God she was backed against a door, something solid and sure to keep her from collapsing to the floor in a heap of desire, of want.

  This was exactly what she’d tried to avoid the other night. This was exactly why she’d avoided that earlier almost-kiss. Because this was heaven. It was bliss. It was euphoria. It was also opening a can of complicated, unprofessional worms, but Sydney did her best to ignore that part.

  And then she didn’t care because Jessica’s tongue was in her mouth and Jessica’s body was pushing against hers and it felt indescribably amazing. Sydney cupped the side of Jessica’s face with one hand and used the other to grasp her waist, pull her roughly, impossibly closer, and kiss her with abandon, driving all the cautions from her head and away like a lion tamer with a whip and a chair. Their tongues battled as Sydney gave as good as she got, the only thought rushing through her head now being Oh, my God, we kiss fantastically well together.

  She had no idea how long this went on, but the rattling of the doorknob followed by the insistent knocking that sent vibrations through Sydney’s back were enough to yank the two women back to reality. They returned reluctantly, as the frustrated and annoyed expression on Jessica’s face probably mirrored Sydney’s, she was pretty sure Jessica hadn’t wanted to resurface either. They stood for a beat, silent, before Sydney finally spoke.

  “Well. That was a hell of a sales pitch.”

  Jessica smiled and her already flushed face turned a deeper red. “You don’t think I oversold it?”

  “Oh, no. No, not at all,” Sydney said quickly with a light chuckle. “This city should give you a raise.” She paused for a beat, then continued. “It was…surprising. To say the least.”

  “Yeah…”

  More banging on the door. “Come on!” a voice said from the other side. “Get a room and let people who have to pee in!”

  “Okay! Just a second.” Sydney’s eyes never left Jessica’s as she spoke. She didn’t let go of her; they were still close enough to start another volcanic-level-hotness make out session, and Sydney had to admit she was tempted to do just that. “What do we do now?” she whispered.

  “I have no idea,” Jessica whispered back.

  “At least we’re in agreement.” Sydney’s grin was tender, as was the one Jessica gave back to her. “Okay. You go out. I’ll hit a stall and wait a couple minutes.”

  Jessica nodded, but didn’t move, and they held each other for another long—but not long enough—moment before more banging ensued. “We were talking about tomorrow’s rehearsal. Got it?”

  “Got it.” Sydney couldn’t help it: she kissed Jessica once more, gently, softly, then pulled away and headed to a stall without looking back. She closed the door to it just as she heard a voice say, “Jesus Christ, it’s about damn time,” followed by Jessica’s mumbled apology. Sydney sat down on the lid of the toilet, dropped her head into her hands, and sighed.

  What the hell had just happened?

  She could hear the two women who’d come in talking animatedly about the DJ and the music. One was at the sink, the other closed in the stall next to Sydney. Apparently, Stall Girl had requested a song and was irritated by how long it was taking it to be played. Sink Girl tried to tell her to be patient. Sydney silently wished she had that simple a problem right now, because, as awesome as that kiss just was, there were consequences. Effects. So many. So, so many. There was the telethon and the fact that she and Jessica had to work together, all day long, for the entire upcoming weekend. There were complications. Like Anna. Like the Austin television station. Like the Raleigh television station. And the three others reviewing her reel. Like she wasn’t really a relationship kind of girl, but she was almost certain Jessica was. And yes, she was jumping way ahead here. So incredibly far ahead, but she couldn’t seem to help it. At all. Because in order to see herself with Jessica, she could only manage to see a full-fledged relationship. There was no casual sex. It wasn’t scratching an occasional itch. It was an honest-to-goodness relationship. That was all she could see, and she wasn’t equipped for that.

  She shook her head.

  “What the hell do I do now?” she asked quietly as she heard the two women leave.

  Not surprisingly, nobody gave her an answer. She returned to the table with the question bouncing around her head nonstop.

  What the hell do I do now?

  It was weird how their litt
le group seemed to disperse immediately after that. Before Sydney even had time to understand that it was just the two of them left at the table, Anna whirled on her.

  “What the hell, Sydney?” Her voice was the perfect combination of hurt and anger, as was the expression on her face.

  “What do you mean?” A lame response, for sure.

  “Do you think I’m stupid?”

  “Of course not. No. I don’t think you’re stupid.” Sydney felt awful. She could feel nervous sweat break out under her arms, and she tried to swallow down the sourness that was creeping up from her stomach.

  “I don’t do that,” Anna said then, downing the remainder of her drink. “I don’t share. If you’re with me, you’re with me. You don’t get to have your cake and eat it, too.”

  Okay, hang on a minute. Sydney didn’t say those words out loud, but instead squinted at Anna, forced herself to mentally count to five before busting out with what she was really thinking. Just two more days. Keep the peace for two more days. “To be absolutely clear, I never said I was with you, Anna.” She paused to let those words hopefully sink in. “But you’re right. I was rude tonight, and I apologize if I embarrassed you.” That was good, right? Clearing up the assumption of possession, but still being a good human.

  “You did embarrass me.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “Fine.”

  In the parking lot, it was clear Anna was still hurt and—shockingly—didn’t seem to want to talk. Using that to her advantage, Sydney apologized once more, squeezed Anna’s upper arm, and got the hell out of there, swearing out loud her entire drive home.

  Later that night, her phone buzzed indicating a text, but when she saw Anna’s name, Sydney simply set the phone back down and ignored it. She didn’t have it in her. She didn’t want to fight with Anna and she didn’t want to think about the softness, the heat, the responsiveness of Jessica’s mouth on hers.

  God, she wasn’t sure how much longer she could do this.

  And now she’d tossed Jessica directly into the fire…

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  By 6:30 on Saturday morning, Jessica had already been lying awake in bed for nearly three hours. The cats surrounded her as if they were keeping her from tipping over, one warmly tucked into her stomach, one leaning against the small of her back, the third in the crook of her knees. She’d watched the clock, hoping sometime around 3:45 that their gentle purring would lull her to sleep, but she wasn’t that lucky. She watched the red numbers as they changed, stared at the sky outside her bedroom window as it went from black to deep indigo to dusky purple to crimson red. Rubbing an eye, she pictured the dark half-moons that would probably underscore them and thought with amusement that Bridget would finally have her work cut out for her.

  What have I done?

  She should be up, showered, and well on her way to the shelter by now. Instead, this question pinballed around her brain in the wee hours. On the one hand, it had felt good—God, could Sydney kiss—felt good to release the frustration she’d been bottling up for a while now. She was attracted to Sydney Taylor. Ridiculously so. That was fact, and acting upon that fact hadn’t been entirely crazy. It felt right and Sydney had kissed her back in a big way, so there was definitely something there for both of them. Which was an enormous relief, because throwing caution to the wind and kissing somebody who didn’t really feel what you did would be horrendous and awful. It made her ill to even entertain what might have happened if Sydney had pushed her away.

  But she hadn’t.

  The rest of the night at the bar had been blissfully short, which was good because, though she’d said nothing, Anna had glared at her for the remainder of their time together. The others had given her quick looks, but nobody said anything about what they must have suspected had gone on in the ladies’ room. Lisa and Ashley wanted to get home, and as Lisa was her ride, Jessica was able to bid the table farewell and get out of there before too many questions were asked. Though she got a very poignant look from Catherine and knew she’d have some explaining to do. She’d also have to deal with Anna today.

  Today.

  It was rehearsal day and then tomorrow was the actual, very live telethon. Jessica wasn’t normally that nervous about it at this point. She was a little; that was to be expected. But she’d done this for five years now, and by this time in the proceedings, her nerves had calmed. She was almost a seasoned pro. Granted, Sydney had her participating in way more on-air segments than she was used to, but she could do it.

  Sydney.

  Scooby shifted and Jessica was able to roll onto her back (finally) and stretch her legs out (finally!) even as the beautiful face of Sydney Taylor drifted through her mind’s eye. She’d be with Sydney for a large percentage of the next two days. With her, next to her, seeing her, smiling at her, smelling her. That’s what had her so nervous. At least she could admit it.

  “Okay. Enough of this uselessness,” she said aloud, gently nudging each feline. “Move your furry bodies and let’s get some coffee.”

  In less than two hours, she strolled into the shelter, feeling guilty that she was later than usual. It was still a bit of a surprise to walk in and see all the sets in the lobby, the lighting equipment and phone cords running under industrial mats that had been brought in just for the purpose of covering them. They didn’t need anybody deciding a trip-and-fall lawsuit would be fun.

  It didn’t look like any of the public had arrived yet, though they would, as Saturdays were notoriously busy. But Junebug Farms had just opened, so the only people shuffling around were volunteers. Nobody from Channel Six had even arrived yet.

  Thank God. Now Jessica had time to prepare herself for facing Sydney. They’d had no interaction other than a wave goodbye last night once they’d exited the ladies’ room, so there’d been no discussion of what had happened. Jessica wasn’t sure there should be. But she also didn’t know what Sydney was thinking, how she was feeling, if any of this kept her up or if she’d slept like a baby.

  “I guess I’ll find out,” she said aloud as she headed into her office.

  “Find out what?” Catherine was right behind her, and Jessica gave a little yelp.

  “God,” she said, hand pressed to her chest. “You scared the crap out of me.”

  “Sorry,” Catherine said as they entered the office.

  Jessica set her stuff down on the desk. When she looked up, Catherine had made herself comfortable in one of the chairs, crossed her legs, folded her hands on her lap, and looked expectant.

  “What?” Jessica asked.

  “You know what.”

  Damn it. Jessica sat down and looked out the window. The day had dawned brightly and now the grounds were sunny, inviting, the grass lush, the petunias in full bloom. She chewed on her bottom lip for several moments before turning in her chair to face Catherine.

  “We sort of…made out. Last night. In the bathroom.”

  “You sort of made out?”

  “Okay. Fine. We made out. We were making out in the bathroom.” Jessica held Catherine’s gaze for a beat before covering her face with both hands and groaning loudly.

  “Yeah, no kidding.” Catherine said. “Now what?”

  Jessica looked at her, tried to read the very neutral expression on her face, and threw her hands up. “I have no idea. I have no idea what.” She shook her head. “I have never been this out of sorts before, Cat. Over a woman, for God’s sake. It was a kiss. One kiss.” She wet her lips. “One super long, super awesome kiss, but still. One kiss. And now it’s like my brain has short-circuited. It’s all wonky. I can’t think straight.”

  “Here’s a crazy idea,” Catherine said as she sat forward in her chair. “Have you talked to Sydney about it?”

  “What? No! No, of course not. I’m sure it was nothing for her. I was kind of drunk. I made the move. We know she made out with Anna there as well. She’s on television. It’s probably no big deal to her. I can’t have her thinking I’ve got some sort of cr
ush or something. I’d be humiliated.”

  Catherine seemed to think about her next words, sort through them in her head before finally saying them out loud. “Do you think that’s how it would go? That Sydney thinks you have a crush on her and that you’re…what? Silly?”

  “Probably.” Jessica sounded like a pouting three-year-old and she knew it.

  Catherine cocked her head and arched one eyebrow.

  “Okay, fine. Fine. Probably not.” Jessica wrinkled her nose. “I hate you, you know.”

  “Oh, I know.” Catherine sat back, elbows on the arms of her chair, laced her fingers together and tapped both forefingers against her lips. “So…what do you think you should do next?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Another arched brow. “Okay. Let’s look at your options, shall we?”

  “I hear sarcasm.”

  “You have good ears.”

  “Ha ha.”

  “Option one: you say nothing. You coexist. It’s probably awkward and uncomfortable today and tomorrow. But then tomorrow is over and you probably don’t see each other again if you don’t want to. Yes?”

  “Yeah.” Jessica grudgingly listened. Catherine was good at listing pros and cons, and while it made Jessica grind her teeth at times, she was almost always able to see clearly afterward.

  “Option two: you talk to the woman. You can be light about it. Joke about the bathroom make out session. You can be serious about it. Ask how she felt and how she feels now. You can get heavy, pour out your heart, tell her you were up all night worrying about it.” At Jessica’s raised eyebrows, Catherine gave a gentle scoff. “You look like you’re playing outfield with those dark circles.”

  “Terrific. Thanks.”

  “No worries. That’s why God created makeup.” Catherine looked at her for a long beat. “So? What’s it gonna be?”

  Jessica sighed in defeat. “Fine. I’ll talk to her.”

  “I thought you might.”