Worlds of Frost: Guardians book 3.5

by Lexi Ostrow

  And once was all he needed.

  Flashing from his bed to the bustling Poydras Street, he could feel his body urging him to walk the short block to the hospital and go in. He was allowed human comforts, and he was damn sick of ignoring the pull he felt toward Hayley.

  Abruptly, he stopped walking as the square pillars, and slight orange coloration of the Tulane Hospital came into view on the corner. If he kept going, he wouldn’t stop until he’d searched every damned floor in search of Hayley. If he found her, he wouldn’t leave her side until he’d bedded her.

  “Both of which are absolutely moronic, stalkerish and utterly ridiculous.” The moment he said the words, he knew being selfish was the wrong choice.

  Stuffing his hands into his coat pocket, he sucked in a deep breath, inhaling the rich smell of Cajun cooking from a nearby eatery. New Orleans was the perfect city for a little self-indulgence, but that didn’t give him the right to target someone that didn’t belong in his life. For all he knew, she’d only shown up because of Kellie.

  “Kellie.” He said her name as a smile formed on his lips.

  The Word Speaker had mentioned he could drop by anytime, so long as he didn’t get snarky. Once upon a time, he hadn’t been the asshole his team thought him to be. Way back at the beginning of his serving as the keeper of one side of the war. Centuries of betrayal and mistrust from all around him had blackened him just the smallest bit. It hadn’t changed him completely, just enough that he took very little shit from his warriors, which was fine by him.

  Flashing off the sidewalk, he knew half a dozen people had likely seen him but couldn’t care. He was in Jackson Square, listening to the overflowing sounds of a practicing jazz band in front of the museum’s steps and smelling the pure divineness of the few restaurants in the square.

  Taking out the phone he rarely used, he scrolled through the numbers. Just last month, he’d had to enter the human world and upgrade the size of the memory in his phone to keep up with all the contact numbers he needed. It was rare when he reached out to anyone through the device, but he felt it imperative to have on hand, anyway. One day, he might be too injured to flash to them.

  “Hello?” Kellie’s voice sounded through the phone, so different from her cousin’s.

  “Kellie, might you and Alcott be up for a little fun and debauchery this evening?”

  “Well, well, well, look who finally showed back up to play.” Her amusement was evident in her tone. “I think we owe you a night out on the town if that’s what you’re looking for, after everything you’ve given us.”

  “Tell him if he fucking touches you in any way pretending to be your boyfriend, I’ll be certain to remind him my powers do work on him,” Alcott shouted rather playfully.

  “Ahh. I had forgotten it would look more like a twosome.” He contemplated doing what he did every night, monitoring his team. “I promise to buy him extra drinks.”

  “I don’t need to buy anything. I can just take them. Remember, I’m virtually invisible.”

  “Damn it, Alcott. I’m trying to do something nice. Can’t you just fucking take it?”

  “Not until I give you hell first, old friend,” Alcott said into the phone, likely having taken it from Kellie.

  He couldn’t stop his bark of a laugh. Alcott was the closest thing he had to a true friend, not to mention a family member. It was exactly what he needed. To go out and forget about Hayley once and for all.

  “Meet me at Muriel’s. What’s bugging me is going to take a lot more than just alcohol to fix. First, we start with a food coma.”

  “It’s good to hear your voice again, Ryce,” Alcott said.

  “Knock that the fuck off. You know I don’t use that name any longer.” Though he wouldn’t admit it, he enjoyed having a name to be called by. It was strange, but it made him feel more human, even if he was the farthest thing from human.

  “Consider it a chain jerk. We’ll see you in fifteen.”

  The phone went dead, and he pocketed it. In fifteen minutes, he was either going to have the start of a night that would banish Hayley from his thoughts or cement her into them by hanging around her cousin.

  13

  Marie couldn’t close her eyes tight enough to scare off the image of Sean’s dark brown eyes. They were haunting her as surely as any ghost could. Every time she tried to focus on something all she wound up doing was seeing him. His face was seared into her mind, despite her damn near feverish attempts to never think of him again. It was useless because Sean had become something to her thanks to whatever bond two Guardians could form against their will. Or perhaps not against their will since she’d known she was treading on thin ice for days.

  “Because you’re weak,” she snarled and rolled over on the bed, careful not to kick Duke.

  It had been four days since the fight with Sean, which meant it had also been four days since she’d experienced a kiss unlike any other. She might not remember the sensations of loving Zach, but she knew she had. There had never been anything between them like the spark of heat she’d felt when her body had met Sean’s. Had Marie not banished romantic love, she supposed she would feel as if she betrayed her Word Speaker. Instead, all she was experiencing was concern. Concern she had absolutely no control over her heart, despite a ritual that should have left her utterly emotionless until she was ready to feel again.

  “Are you sure you’re not?” The words slipped out.

  Duke whined and picked his head up before licking her across her bare shoulder and walked to go sleep at the foot of the bed. The dog knew more about comfort and love than she did, and he’d been thrown away by his ass of a first owner. The impact of such an act slammed into her as sharply as it had the first time she’d learned humans in this world threw away things they no longer wanted.

  “You threw away Sean.” Grimacing she sat up. “That was different. You wanted him, not the other way around. You did what was best for everyone involved.”

  Did you? She was afraid to voice the thought aloud, but not to think it.

  She had thought herself so much better than humans of the world, save for Zach, for so long. Her kind was not inherently evil, despite being demons. They were protectors, and she would always view much of humanity as attackers. Humans took what they wanted when they wanted it. They threw lives away, including their own at times. Though many had helped her when she’d lost Zach. Friends that had uselessly tried to pick up the pieces the weeks after Zach had died before she’d chosen her ritual. Friends that had made her realize she belonged helping and she could do a much better job without any emotions.

  Then that bastard had come along and undone almost everything her ritual had done. Even he had likely been helping her, making her see being frigid and unfeeling while caring for others served no purpose. Unfortunately, it had left her vulnerable, open to anything and everything had crept in.

  Her mind spun out of control, taking her on a journey through her most recent memories, all of which had to do with Sean. He was a wonderful man, whether he’d been written to be that way or had learned to be after his awakening and eventual release. Every action she’d seen from him, right down to his asinine protection of her at Stoney’s, was only because he sought to protect all those he could. Each and every picture was like an ice pick, chipping slowly away at the icy fortress she’d set up for herself to heal her pain. A sharp pain jerked through her body, drawing a gasp of distress from her seconds before the flood of pain drowned her.

  All at once, she went from feeling next to nothing to a searing lick of heat that cut right through the center of her. She could remember loving Zach, intimately. Every detail of their years together became more than just a story she could read when bored. They were all real again. Every laugh, tear and moan of passion suddenly had visceral meaning again.

  Marie struggled to rise again when she felt her body connect with the bed. It was no use. Love washed over her and brought the sorrow and agony of heartache with it. She could feel Zach’s k
iss on her lips and could hear his whispered I love you’s as if he were beside her. A scream tore past her lips, leaving her throat raw as the inevitable happened.

  She relived his death with all her emotions regarding her former Word Speaker viciously intact. The wild look in his eyes as she plummeted backward over the Red Rock Canyon rock face drew streams of hot tears down her cheeks. Agony unlike anything she’d ever felt scorched through her as the horror of losing him had real meaning once more.

  The emotions flooded over her, suffocating her until she felt as if she were near death. She had no way of knowing how long she tremored in mental and physical hurt on the bed, but when it finally receded, she leaned over and vomited over the side, feeling nothing other than ill from what she’d experienced. Wiping a hand over her mouth, she pushed up on shaking arms and forced herself to breathe as deeply as she could. She made herself not gag as she breathed in and the taste of bile exploded in her mouth a second time. She heard Duke’s concerned whimper and felt the warm slide of his tongue over her cheek. Absent-mindedly, she reached her hand out and scratched his head, grateful she was not alone but also embarrassed to be seen in such a state, even by her pet. Closing her eyes, she focused on calming herself but saw only Sean.

  She felt it then, the calm and steady beat of her heart. Something that had been absent since she’d removed her ability for romantic love. Tears streamed down her face as she realized the implications of everything that had happened in such a small space of time. Not only had she lost control over her powers and her body, but she’d also begun to fall in love with Sean.

  It didn’t matter how much time had passed or how much time would pass. Sean wouldn’t go to Marie directly. It wasn’t who he was.

  But it’s who you want to be. He thought rather snidely as he turned the car off.

  He wouldn’t deny he was acting entirely out of character as he pushed open the car door and stepped down. The sounds of barking were easily audible, despite the early morning hour. It was slightly sad, hearing so many animals in one place and knowing they were without essential care and love, but that was part of why he was there. Marie had done quite a few things to his world, including showing him how alone he felt. If she was intent on walking out on what they might have, then he was going to get himself a companion. A big, playful pup to keep him company and go places with him. He’d always wanted one but wasn’t sure it was wise with his deployments. Now, he knew some programs would help when he needed, and it was time to fill the empty space Marie had pointed out to him.

  “Because it’s rather clear, after so many days, she has no intention of filling it,” he grumbled as he closed the door and started walking toward the adoption center.

  It shouldn’t bother him that Marie had left. They’d been against more than a test run from the start. Except he’d assumed when he’d begun to fall for her, it had been mutual. Her words from the other night were still loud and clear. He was nothing to her, a fuck buddy at best. A month before, he would’ve been perfectly happy to sink into her body, screw them both silly and walk away. Now that he knew her? That wasn’t going to cut it, and while he was almost positive he could seduce her into changing her mind, he didn’t want a relationship like that. He didn’t take what he wanted. He wasn’t some sort of brute.

  A loud howl pulled him from his thoughts just before he would have smacked his feet or even forehead into the door to the shelter.

  “Jesus, thank god for small favors.” He made a note to ask about any dogs that howl since one had just saved him from embarrassment, and he’d like to see the little fella.

  “Hello, are you here to adopt a pet today?” The woman behind the wooden desk rose, her brown hair swishing to the side.

  The receptionist’s bubbly personality washed over him. It made him feel better, which he supposed was a great quality to have in a front desk person at a place like that. He felt himself smile, and some of the anger at Marie wash away.

  “I’m certainly here to look.”

  That seemed to make her day as her already happy expression seemed to burst even further across her face. “So glad to hear it, Mr. . . .”

  “Sean.” Using his first name felt strange, given half his unit didn’t know it, but he wanted to keep the process informal and fun.

  “Well, nice to meet you, Sean. I’m Sadie.” She reached a hand out and vigorously shook his. “What type of family member do you think you’re missing?”

  “I’d be lying if I didn’t say I came for a big masculine dog.” He flashed her a smile and continued. “But I am open to anything that catches my heart the right way. I lost my fiancé a time ago to a military accident, and it’s just time I opened up back up. What better way than a creature that needs a home?”

  “I think we have quite a few candidates that will do the trick. If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you through the shelter now. All our dogs up for adoption have been spayed or neutered and are up to date on their shots.” She started walking toward the door to the animals and turned. “Any particular personality traits you’re looking for?”

  “Sean?” Marie’s voice cut through the room, frigid as ever, if not more so.

  He turned slowly, half expecting him to have made her up. He hadn’t. She was wearing a turquoise tank with the shelter’s name on it, with her light hair braided off the side and denim shorts showing off her long legs. It was the most casual he’d ever seen her, and she still looked fucking breathtaking. Swallowing, he forced his face to remain impassive despite the annoyance he felt toward her.

  “Marie, you’re here.”

  She raised a brow at him and crossed her arms over her chest. “I work here.”

  Fuck. Afer clearing his throat, Sean ran a hand over the back of his neck. “Right. I knew that. I just didn’t think you worked this late. Figured your job was more of a nine-to-five.” You sound like a fucking moron.

  “Well, you figured wrong. Don’t let me stop you from whatever you’re here to do.”

  “Oh! Do you know each other?” The chipper tone in Sadie’s voice echoed as she walked back to where Sean was standing. “Marie, do you want to help him find someone a forever home then?”

  The look of utter disgust on Marie’s face shocked him. She has such a passion for the job, and yet it seemed she was against him adopting a pet.

  “No. By all means, I’ll let you continue that path and watch the front.” Marie nodded to the small desk sign stating someone would be back soon and to please ring the bell. “Better than leaving it unattended after all.” With a nod at him, she sat behind the desk. “Best of luck to you. I wasn’t sure the single, military life was suited for a furry friend, but I’m glad to see it does.”

  Her supposed gladness didn’t come out in her tone. He was going to ask to speak to her, but Sadie either had no concept of reading situations or was reading theirs all too well.

  “Well then, let’s get looking. We have a beauty of a Labrador mix I think would be perfect. She’s two and a little hyper but ideal for a man like yourself.” She walked back toward the door and gestured for him to follow.

  With one last look at Marie, he followed Sadie. If Marie wanted to be an ice queen just because she was an ice demon, he wasn’t going to stop her. He had come to find a companion for himself, and he hadn’t expected her to be there. She wouldn’t ruin the process for him. It was bad enough she’d sliced his heart open and had walked away, she didn’t need to get in the way of him starting his life fresh.

  The door closed behind him with a loud click, and the barking began. He hadn’t realized the dogs had been quiet moments prior, but his ears rang with the volume and various pitches of the barking surrounding him. Just like the first time he’d been there, no pup was content being quiet. Many leaped up on the doors to their pens, and others sat politely wagging their tails as they barked.

  “You’ve come at the perfect time. Adoption weekend starts Friday, so you’ll get the top selection,” Sadie said with a wink as she stopped in f
ront of the yellow lab. “I don’t suspect Nala will last too long. She’s been adoptable for about three days and consistently generates interest.” She unlocked the door and barely slipped the leash around the large dog’s head before it came barreling out, tail wagging and barking in delight.

  He laughed as two large front paws slammed onto his chest and a warm tongue began to bathe his chin.

  “Well, hello there, Nala. I think you’re a good deal more excited to meet me than I am to meet you. Apologies for that!” He grinned when she let out a whimper like noise and sat at his feet, tail wagging across the floor.

  “I think you two could use a good run in the pens out back. What do you say? Up for giving her a shot?” Sadie asked with grin plastered on her face as if she already knew the answer.

  “That would be perfect.” He took the yellow leash as it was handed to him, walked behind Sadie out a second door and saw the large play areas.

  The sun bathed everything in a warm golden glow, and the Vegas heat was just as strong as ever, despite the time of year. None of which seemed to affect Nala when they stepped inside the pen, and he dropped the leash. Within seconds she was bounding around, sniffing here and there and racing back and forth. He didn’t want to interfere. She needed some freedom, and he was quite content to stand back and watch her frolic.

  It only took about a minute or so before she remembered he was with her and raced back over to him, barking at him until he bent down to show her some love. Scratching the sides of her body with both hands, he knew Nala was a special dog, but she needed something more than he could give her. One look into her beautiful, large Hershey-colored eyes, and it was clear to him that he wouldn’t be the ideal owner. She needed a family with kids that would play with her. Not a man who could deploy at a moment’s notice and wasn’t too familiar with the concept of play any longer.

  He hated the idea of putting the sweet dog back into a small run, it was enough to make him wish he could be the right person. With a sigh, he picked up her leash and opened the pen gate to walk her back inside.