There's a Yeti in the Playground!

by Pamela Butchart

  Zach said, “AWESOME!”

  And Jodi whipped her head round to face him so fast that Maisie actually jumped out of her seat and landed on the floor next to my feet.

  And then Jodi said, “Getting snowed in is

  awesome! DO you think STARVATION is awesome? Hmm? Or FROSTBITE? Or having to drink TOILET WATER if the pipes freeze?!”

  Zach didn’t say anything back because it was obvious from the way Jodi was speaking that she was asking RHETORICAL QUESTIONS (which are questions that you ask someone when you are annoyed at them and if they answer them it makes it worse).

  Jodi always needs a survival plan when we do most things and she’s been like that ever since she watched the whole first season of

  with her mum’s new boyfriend.

  Not many Year 4s are trained in

  But Jodi is. And we are thankful for that EVERY DAY, especially when stuff like THIS happens or like the time on the school camping trip with the

  So Jodi said it was time to talk about RATIONING and that that meant we had to put all of our food together and only let each other eat TINY AMOUNTS to make it last in case we got snowed in overnight, or for the weekend, or EVEN FOR FIVE MONTHS. That was how SERIOUS the situation was.

  That’s when Maisie started emptying all the food out of her bag on to the table and I couldn’t BELIEVE how many snacks she had in there!

  But then Jodi said, “NO! Not here. It’s not safe,” and she started scooping all the snacks back into Maisie’s bag and looking over her shoulder loads while she was doing it.

  Jodi said that we couldn’t let the rest of the class OR Miss Jones see how much food we had because they might try to STEAL IT when their food ran out and that it was EVERY MAN FOR THEMSELVES and that we should TRUST NO ONE, not even Miss Jones.

  Then Jodi started talking REALLY FAST about water freezing in the pipes and frostbite and then she said that one of us should be taking NOTES because this was SERIOUS and she looked at me when she said it and I got a bit annoyed because we don’t usually take notes unless it’s an OFFICIAL MEETING and nobody had actually said that it was and we usually only have official meetings in The Den or at one of our houses.

  But I was just about to get my pad out of my bag anyway because I knew there was no point in arguing with Jodi when she had

  in her eye that meant she was IN THE ZONE and that NOTHING could stop her from talking about

  But I was wrong.

  Something DID stop her.

  Suddenly, Jodi stopped talking MID-SENTENCE and afterwards she couldn’t even remember what she had been saying! She was STARING out the window at something and her eyes were SUPER WIDE and she’d gone COMPLETELY PALE.

  And then she said, “Is that a snowman and did it just MOVE?!”

  Zach JUMPED out of his seat and ran over to the window. But there was nothing there. And then he gave me a look and I knew what he was thinking because I was thinking the same thing. The stress of having to make a

  was making Jodi SEE THINGS. Like the time she got so stressed about Sports Day and coming FIRST in the Whole School Race. I don’t think she actually slept for a WEEK because when her mum thought she was in bed she was actually in the living room on her mum’s exercise bike. But then on the day of the Sports Day Jodi didn’t come first. And she didn’t even come second or third or even TENTH. Because she was so tired and STRESSED that she thought she saw a GOAT at the lemonade stand and Miss Jones made her go and have a lie down in the nurse’s room.

  So anyway, I got up and looked out the window just to be sure because sometimes Zach misses things. But I couldn’t see a moving snowman, either. But I DID see that the snow was getting even HEAVIER.

  So we told Jodi that we couldn’t see the snowman. But we didn’t mention the whole GOAT THING because she gets really annoyed when you bring it up.

  And Jodi said, “Oh,” and Maisie smiled and gave Jodi a Twix because Maisie always has a spare Twix in her bag and Jodi just took it and said thanks.

  That’s when someone knocked on the door and we all looked and saw it was Mr Beattie (the new Year 1 teacher) and he looked a bit like he’d been crying.

  Miss Jones and Mr Beattie started WHISPERING about something so we waited until Jodi gave the signal and then Zach stood up and walked over to the bin and pretended to sharpen his pencil so he could get close and hear what was being said.

  But when he came back he said that he heard Mr Beattie say “COMPLETELY RUINED” and “DISASTER” and “WORST DAY OF MY LIFE.”

  And when we looked over at Miss Jones and Mr Beattie, we saw that Mr Beattie was crying a bit and Miss Jones was patting him on the back and saying, “It’s going to be all right. We’ll survive this. We just have to be STRONG.”

  And that’s when we knew Zach was right.

  Something else WAS going on.

  Something the teachers didn’t want us to know about.

  And it was definitely

  On our way to dinners, we passed more teachers and they all looked just as upset as Miss Jones and Mr Beattie did and I even saw Mrs Leppard wipe her eyes when she passed us in the corridor.

  And it took AGES to get to the dinner hall because everyone kept stopping and looking out of the windows at the SNOW STORM because the snow was

  and the sky was REALLY DARK and it looked like something out of a FILM.

  When we arrived at dinners we all saw that the dinner ladies still had their shutters down and NO ONE knew what was going on, not even the teachers!

  Jodi looked at Zach and said, “See? I TOLD you getting snowed in wasn’t AWESOME!”

  Maisie said that she didn’t want to die of STARVATION and her eyes started to go all SWIRLY like they do before she faints so we sat down at our table and watched the teachers try to figure out what to do next. And it was obvious that they were trying to decide WHO should be the one to go into the kitchen and ask the dinner ladies where the lunch was and that NONE of them wanted to do it because the dinner ladies are even SCARIER than the office ladies!

  Then eventually we all heard Mr Killington say, “FINE!” and he knocked on the kitchen doors and went inside.

  We all STARED at the doors to see what was going to happen and Zach said that we might actually see Mr Killington GET THROWN OUT because the dinner ladies do NOT like anyone going back there.

  But then we heard a LOUD RATTLING sound and one of the shutters came up and we saw Mr Killington standing there and he was wearing a DINNER LADY APRON and holding a giant can of BEANS.

  And he shouted, “OK, everyone. I hope you like BEANS!” and he started opening the giant can and pouring it into a big pot.

  We all

  because we knew that meant that there weren’t any REAL DINNERS and also that we were all getting JUST BEANS.

  Then Mr Graves rushed into the dining hall and he looked PANICKED and his hair was ALL OVER THE PLACE like he’d been RUNNING. But then he saw Mr Killington with the beans and he said, “THANK GOODNESS,” and he calmed down a bit.

  Then Mr Graves went over to where all the teachers were standing and started WHISPERING something to them. So Jodi nudged Zach, and Zach got up and wandered over so he could EAVESDROP on what was being said again.

  We all watched as Zach pretended that he was reading the menu on the wall for ages, even though it was from yesterday, and then he walked past the teachers

  and came back to the table. And I knew by the look on his face that he’d heard something

  Zach said, “Mr Graves just said that the van that was meant to deliver our lunch got stuck in the snow! And that the dinner ladies WERE IN IT!”

  And we

  Then Mr Graves said, “ATTENTION, EVERYONE!”

  And that’s when he told us that we wouldn’t be able to have regular school dinners due to a “SMALL ISSUE” but that there were PLENTY of beans to go round and that we should “TUCK IN”.

  EVERYONE started moaning about the BEANS but Jodi said that beans were PERFECT because they are full of PROTEIN
which is what we were going to need to STAY STRONG in case we got snowed in for WEEKS.

  So Jodi rushed up to get the beans and then she made us all have SECONDS and she even went up for THIRDS AND FOURTHS!

  Loads of people weren’t eating their beans and Jodi said that they’d REGRET IT when they realised it was the last meal they’d have for the

  But then Maisie said that her tummy felt funny and that she didn’t like the beans and that she was worried that the giant can had been OUT OF DATE. And Zach GASPED and said that it might even have been from THE WAR when people had to eat things like that every day.

  Jodi’s face went a funny shape when Zach said that and we all knew that it was because she’d eaten LOADS of the WAR BEANS.

  So I told Jodi that even IF the giant can of beans was out of date that she would probably be FINE because they’d tasted OK and also because my gran says that dates on food aren’t actually REAL and that the supermarkets just do that to make you buy more. And Jodi did a little nod so I knew that she was feeling better about it.

  Then Maisie said, “Look!” and she pointed to the Glass Doors that go out to the playground and we could all see that the snow was at least KNEE DEEP and there were big piles of it in places where the wind was blowing it.

  And that’s when Jodi said, “We need to get to The Den.

  As soon as we got to The Den, which is our secret place under the stairs that go up to the boys’ toilets, Jodi looked both ways to make sure no one had followed us and then she reached into her pocket and took out the KEY.

  Jodi is the only one who is allowed to keep the key because she says that it is a MASSIVE RESPONSIBILITY and that she is the only person she trusts ONE HUNDRED PER CENT not to lose it.

  But I always argue with her about that because I only lost the key ONCE and that was ages ago and I was actually the one who found it inside my old trainer at the bottom of my gym bag.

  So anyway, as soon as we got inside, we sat down on our buckets and Jodi took out the little whiteboard and pens that we use for our secret meetings and Zach said that he would make some tea because we have cups and a little sink and a box of teabags in there that the old janitor left behind when he retired. We don’t have a kettle, though, so we just use cold water from the tap because none of us really likes tea and we don’t have any milk.

  So anyway, that’s when Jodi said that we needed to know where our next meal was coming from and that it was time to do the FOOD RATIONING because there probably wasn’t another giant can of beans in the kitchen.

  Maisie emptied her snacks again and she kept opening little zips and flaps and secret compartments and saying, “Oh. And I’ve got this too. And this. And this.”

  And we all knew that it was because Maisie’s mum gets

  that Maisie is going to get hungry.

  But I didn’t have any snacks with me that day because Dad had eaten all the fruit and the granola bars and the EMERGENCY MARS BAR that Mum keeps hidden in the gravy jug in the cupboard that she doesn’t think me or Dad know about but we do. So Dad had just given me a pound and said to get something from the tuck shop and not to tell Mum about the MARS BAR.

  So I wasn’t sure if I was going to have to be the one to

  to death if we didn’t have enough food for all four of us but then Maisie must have noticed that I was worried because she said that we should share everything EQUALLY.

  But then Jodi said that even with Maisie’s snacks she didn’t think we had enough to make it through the night and that

  and we might have to break into the school tuck shop if things got really bad.

  And that’s when Zach GRABBED a biscuit and ate it really fast before Jodi could say anything and when he finished Jodi looked FURIOUS but Zach just said that he was sorry and that he couldn’t help it because he felt like he had already BEGUN TO STARVE.

  Jodi put everything in a plastic bag and wrote POISON on it with a Sharpie pen and drew a little skull and cross bones. Then she said that it was because people might get so hungry that they started trying to STEAL everyone else’s food. Zach asked her where she was going to hide the bag but Jodi didn’t answer and we all knew that it was because she didn’t want him to know after the BISCUIT THING.

  That’s when Jodi started talking about the snow storm and how we needed to take matters into our OWN HANDS. And then she said that if the teachers weren’t going to tell us what was REALLY going on then it was up to us to find out ourselves.

  And then Jodi got a REALLY SERIOUS look on her face and she said, “We need to make a plan to sneak into the STAFFROOM and

  Maisie didn’t like the plan AT ALL. And she even took out her calculator and told us that the risk of getting caught was 99.999999999 per cent. And then she held up the calculator so we could all see.

  But Jodi said that doing nothing WASN’T AN OPTION and that in the WILD you have to

  And no one wanted to die so everyone agreed to do the plan.

  We all stood outside the staffroom door and listened. Usually when we spy-listen on the teachers we hear loads of talking and laughing and one time we even heard a SCREAM. But this time all we could hear was the TV.

  That’s when Zach said, “I don’t think there’s anyone in there.” But then we heard the sound of the kettle boiling so we knew there was at least one teacher in there.

  Maisie started shaking a bit and saying that it was going to be IMPOSSIBLE to do the plan but then Jodi said that if we’d managed to hide in the school office under the office-ladies’ desks when we thought there were BABY ALIENS at our school, then we could DEFINITELY sneak into the staffroom and hide behind the sofa.

  Jodi said that we needed to create a DIVERSION, which meant that we needed to do something to distract the teachers so they didn’t notice us. And that’s when I came up with a

  and I know everyone else thought it was a brilliant idea too because I could see it in their EYES. I said that we should knock on the door and say that the scary DEPUTY HEAD TEACHER had asked to see them in her office and that they would all rush out RIGHT AWAY because they are even more scared of Mrs Seith than the pupils are. Then we could sneak in and wait for them all to come back. So Jodi looked at Zach because she thought that HE should be the one to knock on the door because she obviously didn’t want to do it. And he just sighed and said fine because he is used to us making him do stuff like that.

  So me and Jodi and Maisie all hid behind the big pot plant and held our breath as Zach knocked really loud three times.

  Jodi looked MEGA ANNOYED and she hissed, “Why did you knock so loudly?! That’s not what we discussed!” but Zach just ignored her because he was in the middle of THE PLAN and also because Jodi ALWAYS likes to tell you how to do things, especially the things she doesn’t want to do herself.

  We all STARED at the door handle and waited for it to move. But it didn’t.

  Zach turned and looked at us and Jodi whispered, “Try it again.” So he did. And he did it even LOUDER this time. But no one came.

  So Zach came running back over to us and said, “We need a new plan.”

  But then Jodi got THAT LOOK and we all knew she had already come up with a new plan all by herself and that she was going to make us do it. She stood up and dusted off her knees and said, WE’RE GOING IN!”

  It took ages to pull Maisie out from behind the big pot plant because her hands were SO SWEATY that I couldn’t get a proper grip on them and also because she was doing that thing where you make your body go really heavy because you don’t want to be picked up.

  So I told Maisie that she should just stay there and be the lookout. But Maisie said that there was NO WAY she was staying there by herself and then she stopped making herself heavy and stood up.

  So we all checked that no one was coming and then we RAN over and stood outside the staffroom door.

  I held my breath as Jodi pulled down the door handle and opened the door a crack and peeked inside. Then she whispered, “Clear,” and started to walk inside so we foll
owed her.

  But then all of a sudden she

  and I actually bumped right into her and Zach bumped into me but Maisie didn’t bump into anyone because she’d run away.

  I was just about to moan at Jodi because I’d hurt my toe on her foot when I saw why she’d stopped.

  ALL of the teachers were in the staffroom and they were ALL huddled around the TV.

  Zach gasped and dropped to the ground and rolled behind one of the couches. And I was just about to do the same when I noticed that Jodi hadn’t DROPPED AND ROLLED which is EXACTLY what she’s taught us to do in these kind of situations.

  Jodi was just standing there STARING at the teachers with her mouth WIDE OPEN.

  So I grabbed her hand and pulled her down to the ground.

  And THAT’S when we heard one of the teachers say, “I can’t believe this is happening. This is a

  And then another one said, “This is the worst thing that’s ever happened

  Jodi made us stay behind the sofa for EXACTLY thirty seconds after the end-of-lunch bell had rung and all the teachers had left the room, and then she said,