Captivated (An Affliction Novel)

by Raven

  My eyes were locked on him, trying to get his attention like two waving flags, but he just ignored me. I cleared my throat and swallowed the spike ball. “Dean?” I asked. He did not turn. He only flinched, but he remained staring straight ahead to the empty teacher’s desk. He heard me.

  “Okay class!” Mrs. Jenson walked in with yet another stack of packets in her hands. “Today is going to be fun!” She enthusiastically announced. “It involves partners, reading and? Everyone?”

  “Writing!” Shouted out an excited Ben. He had his hand proudly raised up high.

  “Wow Benjamin. I love your enthusiasm.” She started handing out packets at the front of the room. “I will be picking your partners. Don’t start going through the packets until I do so.”

  After she finished passing them out she had us flip the packet. At the bottom left corner, there was a sloppy number written. My number was eight. She had us pair up with whoever else had the same number. As luck would have it, my partner was Dean. The assignment was to read the packet together. The cover’s title was ‘Famous Poets of all Time’. Our instructions were to first read the poems out loud to each other. Then, to pick out a poem of our choosing and write a summary of what each line meant as a team.

  The first poem Dean began to read was ‘Love’s Philosophy’ by Percy Bysshe Shelley. As he read it out loud, I honestly felt like the poem was directed at me. As if he picked it out himself. His soothing voice read…

  The fountains mingle with the river

  And the rivers with the ocean,

  The winds of Heaven mix forever

  With a sweet emotion;

  Nothing in the world is single;

  All things by a law divine

  In one spirit meet and mingle.

  Why not I with thine?--

  I shouted in my head for him to stop reading. The words coming out of his mouth meant an invitation for togetherness. Even though he was saying those beautiful words, they weren’t directed at me and it was hurting me inside.

  See the mountains kiss high Heaven

  And the waves clasp on another;

  No sister-flower will be forgiven

  If it disdained its brother;

  And the sunlight clasps the earth

  And the moonbeams kiss the sea;

  What is all this sweet work worth

  If thou kiss not me?

  Dean was very calm as he finished that last sentence. Through the whole reading he was calm. Didn’t he feel sorry for me at all? Did he really just drop me? He got tired of me. Just as other boyfriends did with flukes. That had to be it. I did nothing wrong! So what if I asked a few questions here and there. Who wouldn’t?

  It was my turn to read the next poem. As I opened my mouth to read the first word of a poem I didn’t care to read the title, a horsey sound escaped me. I felt pathetic having Dean witness it. My voice finally came out in a tremble. My lips quivered out as I read the meaningless words on the page. Meaningless to me because I could not focus. I was falling down an endless pit looking up at the distant sky. Farther and farther came the distance between us. Closer and closer I was coming to death.

  I was about to have a break down. The greatest meltdown in break up history. The cold started seeping back into my body. I glanced over to him, pleading with my eyes. I wasn’t sure what I was asking for, but I needed it. I needed his comfort. Anything from him. But he did not look at me. He kept his eyes on his packet. No emotions showed on his handsome face. I shouldn’t have looked at his rejection because it stabbed me in the gut. That face that used to be so bright and loving was the same as it was before we started dating. Things were back to normal with him. But he left me hanging in the balance of depression and insanity.

  I couldn’t take it anymore. I jumped up out of my seat with my book bag in hand.

  “I don’t feel so good.” I called out to the teacher as I fast paced out the door. I was sure Markus would cover for me and tell her a lie about how sick I’d been. The major thing I had to do was to get as far from Dean as possible before the broken pieces of my heart exploded.

  I ran and I didn’t care where to. After turning through hallways and bursting through doors, I reached the benches in the front of the school and sat down to catch my breath. A cloud was passing by and covered me from the bright sun. With the shadow came a familiar face.

  “Waiting for me?” Said Shane as he sat shoulder to shoulder with me. He leaned forward turning his head and smirked at me when he caught my eyes. “I know why you’re sad.” He confidently said. “You need to have a good time and no one has given that to you.”

  Shane didn’t even know the half of it. I was given a good time. The best time a stupid girl could have. Then it was torn away from me from the very same person that gifted me with it. I didn’t answer Shane. I still had some regaining to do.

  He stood up and positioned himself in front of me. He wasn’t as big as Dean. Shane was almost the same height, but not as thick. He had a leaner body. His faded pants weren’t too tight on him, but they were tight enough to see his form. His shirt formed over the ripples of his chest and stomach, but still left some loose room to tease an onlooker. For a moment, I felt like I was cheating on Dean by admiring Shane’s perfection. Until the reality of us not being together hit me with no mercy.

  Shane smiled crookedly as he stretched out his hand towards me. His eyes piercing at me, trying to convince me that it was okay to take his hand. And so, I did. It was as if I couldn’t control my body. My brain was no longer connected to anything. What are you doing? Why are you going with him! Even though I was asking myself these questions, I was left with no reason. It was like I was being hypnotized.

  I let Shane lead me to his car. It was a black Mitsubishi convertible with the word “Spyder” etched above one of the back lights. The windows were tinted so dark that when I tried peeking through, I couldn’t see anything on the inside.

  “You need a special treat.” Shane said through his aluminous smile.

  Shane opened the door for me and before I could adjust myself in my seat, he was already sitting next to me with the door shut and engine humming. He took me to an ice cream shop near my neighborhood. We sat outside under a huge umbrella to eat the ice cream. I had a banana cream shake and Shane was eating an Oreo blast. It was the only ice-cream shop in town. It was usually busy, especially after school. We were watching the different people come and go. Shane wouldn’t stop talking. He was hitting up every subject imaginable making time go by so quickly. I immediately felt comfortable around him, as if we’d been friends for years.

  “I have a question for you.” I told him.

  “Uh oh.” He said as he licked the ice cream off his spoon in such an inviting way.

  “What’s up with you and Dean?” I asked not thinking of the consequences of talking to Dean’s friend about him. The consequences of course, being my humiliation.

  “We have a unique relationship.” Shane answered.

  “Do you guys always argue? Why does he always seam mad at you? You don’t have to answer me if you feel it’s not my business.” I said. “It’s just…weird.”

  “Consider it a form of having to deal with each other. But let’s not talk about that loser.” I gave him a sharp look. Just because we weren’t together didn’t mean I was going to tolerate someone talking bad about him. Then he continued, “Don’t tell me you’re interested in that clown? You’re wasting your time. He’s too dull to know what to do with a girl like you.”

  Shane immediately changed the subject. In fact he had many different subjects. So many different things he knew about the world. We argued back and forth about our opinions. A lot of the times he proved me wrong. For some reason, I enjoyed the challenge of trying to prove him wrong no matter what the subject was. Before we knew it, the sun was starting to go down. My half eaten ice cream was melted in its cup. Shane’s was empty. We threw away our trash and headed towards his vehicle, but he stopped in front of me before we reached it.r />
  “Let’s walk.” He said while gleaming his convincing smile.

  I couldn’t say no and I really didn’t want to. He was numbing some of the pain I had been feeling since Dean had broken up with me. I didn’t want to feel the full force of the hurt just yet. I nodded my head in agreement and walked in the direction of the neighborhood with him.

  It got darker as we approached the entrance to the neighborhood. It was a windy trail that had no room for walkers. There were no sidewalks in some parts of Austin, so we had to walk on the grassy division beside the pavement. On some streets, the road was all people could walk on because of all the trees along the side were in the pathway. Shane was able to get us out of the road way long before I would notice a car. We didn’t talk for the entire walk. We just enjoyed our surroundings. It was crazy, I would always walk by this area to get to my jogging site, but I never really took it all in. There was a small river nearby and from what I could barely see; there was a bench in front of it. A gigantic tree leaned over the water, cascading to cover the calm water. On it hung a long rope that almost reached the surface. I imagined kids running on the ground towards it and leaping over the edge of the water to catch hold of the rope. I smiled at the thought.

  Before it got even darker, I looked deep into the forest, trying to find something else I could awe about. Then, I noticed the figure again. It was halfway standing behind a tree. It was definitely the same one I had been seeing. It had to be. But I was too far to see a description of who it was. Even though the figure stepped out from behind a tree exposing himself, he was still just a figure. No light landed on him to show his identity. He was facing us…just staring.

  “Do you see that?” I asked Shane while pointing at it with my eyes. “It’s the same person I’ve been seeing at night. I think he’s been following me around.”

  “How do you know it’s the same guy?” Shane asked with doubt in his tone.

  “I don’t know what he looks like, but it’s got to be the same one.” I added.

  “How long have you been noticing this?” Shane asked, not seeming too concerned about a guy following me around.

  “I don’t know, maybe a week.” I said.

  “Only a week?” Shane asked unimpressed.

  “Yeah?” I said, unsure of where this was heading.

  “Every night?” Shane asked.

  “Ummm…not every night. I’ve noticed here and there.” I said.

  Shane smiled and gave a soft and seductive chuckle. As if there was some inside joke he was remembering. He was acting as if this were a normal thing. I wished Dean were here. He would storm right up to the person and sock him in the face. No questions asked. Just like he did with Ayden. Ayden? Could it be him?

  “I don’t think that person is much of a threat to you.” Shane confidently said while setting his hand on my upper back to guide me to the entrance of the neighborhood.

  Shane stood on the sidewalk in front of my house. He refused to come any closer to the door. I waved him goodbye and shut the door. My hurt was creeping out again. It had been there the whole night, but now that I had no distractions. It was far worse. The cold took over me leaving me shaking. I went upstairs and pulled Deans folded shirt out of the closet. Bringing it up to my nose to smell the cologne made me sad. The smell was gone. I clenched it to my chest and dragged my feet to the bed. I dove under the blankets without changing into my pajamas.

  After hours of tossing and turning, I couldn’t get any sleep. I wanted to do something special for Dean. Something that would win him back, even if it was only a fraction of him. But it would have to wait till morning.

  rose up and dusted the soil off of my knees and hands. The sun was starting to come out, I finished just in time. I walked around to examine my work. From what I could remember, Dean’s mom, Rose, had some lavender here along the walkway leading up to the lemon tree. I was able to plant everything else but the lemon tree. There were many patches of soil around the yard where I had planted seeds. I tried to picture the yard when I had seen it when I was a child. A mixture of purple, yellow, and white flowers blossomed along the brick yard. There was a lemon tree with a stone pathway leading to the French doors of the house. In all the extra space, she had grass. I planted grass seed, but that wouldn’t come out for another week or two. Luckily, I didn’t have to come back and water everything because it constantly rained here in Georgetown. I re-soiled everything so the plants would be able to grow. My work here was done.

  Weeks went by. Dean still continued to ignore me in the hallways and especially during class. For him, my seat was an empty space. I still wasn’t used to the new routine. The hurt never stopped, it never even calmed down. I felt like I was being tortured inside. The agony was slowly killing me and would linger just as I was about to give my last breath. But I would live, each and every time; I would live the torture all over again. I thought of changing classes so I didn’t have to go through the pain while sitting next to him, but just the thought of not being close to him ate me up inside. I wouldn’t be able to have complete separation from him. Not just yet.

  “Did you want to hang out tonight?” Markus asked while pulling out of the school parking lot.

  “No. Not really.” I said. I stared blankly out the window.

  “You need to get out of the house Mindy. It’s been almost a month. We’re worried about you.” Markus drilled out.

  “Who’s we?” I asked.

  “Everyone. Me. Tanya. Your mom even called me.” Markus admitted.

  “Oh. Well I’m tired.” I lied.

  “Really Mindy…Really?” Markus continued, “From what? What exhausted you to the point where you can’t even hang out with your best friends? Who, by the way, have never been too tired to hang out with you.” Markus raised his voice a pinch.

  I stayed silent. The rest of the way home was dead silent. He was right. I had put them aside, even though I was physically still around them, I acted as if I weren’t. I refused to do it again. Not to them, my friends didn’t deserve that. They were too important to me. Markus pulled up to my house with one tire halfway on the sidewalk curve. He got out of the car to open the door for me and grabbed my book bag. I walked behind him to the front door where he handed the bag to me.

  “Look. I know you’ve been going through something and I’m sorry. I don’t like seeing you like this. You don’t smile anymore. We used to joke around and now you’re a mute. You may not have noticed it but we have. We want you back Mindy.” Markus blurted out. Without letting me speak, he turned around and headed to his car. Before he reached it, he called out to me.

  “I’ll pick you up at eight!” Markus started the car. “Not eight thirty! Eight!” He called out just before hitting the pedal and disappearing.

  “Ok.” I said to myself gripping the book bag with determination.

  After doing my chores and staring out into space, there were a couple of hours left before I had to start getting ready for my night out with Markus and Tanya. I decided to take Zeke for a walk before it got too late. I latched the harness around his chest and tied my hair up. His excitement always showed through his shaking body and smiling eyes. The things I found most amazing about loyal dogs, was that they contained true love for their master or family. They are always happy to see you come home. And when you reach down to pet them, it’s like the best thing in the world to them. They never dump you and leave you lonely.

  Zeke stared up at me and tilted his head to the side. I bent down to hug him in appreciation as he shook even harder. He couldn’t contain himself. He stood on his hind legs and rested his forearms on my shoulders. I squeezed him tight and stood back up.

  We walked towards the forest as we usually did. As we headed for my trail, I couldn’t help but to look in the direction of the waterfall. I couldn’t hear it or see it from where I was standing. I was too far. The urge to walk to it came to me. I shook it off and continued ahead. Because of the season change, it was getting dark a lot earlier than usual.
By the time I left the house, the sun was already setting. The crisp coolness hit against my exposed skin. The sweater kept the rest of me warm.

  Zeke tugged at the leash leading me in the direction of the waterfall. I didn’t resist the change of course. I inched my way past the fallen tree that marked the entry way I always took. That wasn’t here yesterday. It wasn’t as mature as the others. Standing, the tree had to be at least ten feet tall. Strange, I didn’t remember there being a wind storm or anything that could have knocked it over along with its roots.

  As we got closer, I began to hear the falling water splashing against the clear pool beneath it. The sound was peaceful. It reminded me of the tender moments Dean and I spent at that very same waterfall. A piercing emerged in my chest; the kind that makes you double over and cry out. I was used to it though. Every time I thought of Dean and how close we were, the pain strikes. That feeling didn’t stop me from going to what used to be a hideaway for me. I came up to the water and enjoyed the view of the clean liquid. I was able to see the tiny black fish following each other in jetting speeds along the surface. Catfish and bass usually stayed close to these fish, but I had never seen them there. It was like a getaway for the smaller fish too.

  And that was when I saw it. Something large was down there. The tiny fish swam away in all directions, frantically trying to get away from whatever else was in there. As I looked closer, I noticed that it was a person. I brought my head up and scanned the forest before me. Dean’s motorcycle was hidden behind a tree in the distance.

  “Crap!” I shrieked when I saw him coming towards the surface.

  I didn’t know why, but I high tailed it away from there. I crouched down behind a bush that was several feet away from the water. Zeke sat next to me attentive to whatever I was hiding from. My heart wasn’t pounding fast it was just hitting hard against my chest. I felt like such an idiot hiding from Dean. It’s not like he was going to go all psycho because I was out here. I took a gulp before peaking through the bush that blocked his view from me. Luckily, he wasn’t facing me. The muscles of his back were shifting under his olive skin as he stretched out his arms. He then jumped up and down in place as he jiggled his arms. It was like watching a boxer warming up before a fight. Dean turned away from the water and his front was now in my view. A fresh slash ran across his stomach. Whatever cut him got him good and it wasn’t too long ago since it happened. Something inside me was reacting to the cut. I wanted to help heal it. I urged to clean it and bandage it up for him. Before I could stop myself, I leaped out of the bush.