Secondhand Sinners

by Genevieve Lynne

  “Like when there’s a robbery?”

  “Uh huh. Or when there’s an emergency.”

  “Cool.”

  Alan put the walkie talkie up to Jack’s mouth. “Now why don’t we pretend there’s an emergency. Who would you call?”

  “My mom,” Jack answered into the speaker.

  “Say your mom can’t come. Who would you call?”

  “My mom always comes.”

  “What about your dad?”

  “I don’t have a dad anymore.”

  “No dad?” Alan raised an eyebrow at Emily. “A boy’s gotta have a dad.”

  “He has a dad.”

  Jack held Alan’s wrist and leaned into the speaker a little more. “He moved to Seattle because he didn’t know what to do with me.”

  There was only one way Jack would know to say that. He must have heard more of those fights she and James had in the final days of their marriage than she thought.

  “That’s not true, Jack. He got another job.” And another wife, another kid, another life. She held her hand out and motioned for Jack to take it. It was time to put a stop to the probing questions. “We’ve taken up enough of Officer Dupree’s time. I’m sure he’s very busy.”

  “Ah, man.” Jack pounded his fists on the steering wheel. “No fair.”

  “Your mom’s right…” Alan lifted Jack off his lap and lowered him back to the ground. “I’ve got a lot of work to do today. I’m working on a very important case.”

  “Was there a robbery?” Jack asked.

  “Nope. Attempted murder. Poor victim took a turn for the worse last night, so we might be looking at murder.”

  Emily could feel her blood drain from her face straight to her heart, which was beating harder to accommodate. Did he just say her father had gotten worse? What if her father died before she found out what really happened with Levi?

  “What are you talking about?”

  Alan got out of his car and stepped closer to Emily. He was too close, trying to lasso her attention with his intense stare. She took another step back, already losing the distance between them she thought she had secured. “That’s why I was at Levi’s,” he said. “To tell you your father had a stroke last night. Your mom’s been tryin’ to call you. She’s been worried sick. We all have.”

  Trying to call? Why didn’t she hear…Oh. That’s right. She’d left her phone at Levi’s when she and Jack went out to look for rocks that looked like planets. She hadn’t even thought about it until this very second. “Is he going to be okay?”

  “Don’t know for sure. Sherriff Owens says it’s not looking good. You might wanna head on out to the hospital.” He put his hand on her upper arm and rubbed gently. “I can take you there right now, if you like.”

  “Thanks, but no.” Emily put her free hand on his chest and tried to push him away. When he didn’t budge, she moved back, aware that she was in full retreat. She didn’t care. She’d wave a white flag if he’d just moved back a little.

  “Well okay.” He stared at her a little while longer, still trying to lock her gaze into some kind of commitment to his.

  Surely he didn’t think she was going to look longingly into his eyes? She really didn’t want to have to say it…not again. Because she’d already said it once. Was there any better way to tell someone you weren’t interested than leaving them alone in the bed in the middle of the night? Yes there was. She could have stayed out of his bed in the first place. She’d run from this long enough. It was time to deal with Alan and his crush.

  “Listen, Alan. About that night, I’m really sorry it didn’t work out the way you hoped it would. I was really messed up back then, and when I bumped into you at that bar, I didn’t mean to lead you on. I really appreciate that you’ve driven out here to find me and tell me about my father. I think it’s best if you go now.”

  “Well shit, Em.” He frowned and looked away. Now he was the one who couldn’t make eye contact. “I thought you got scared, that you needed more time. I thought you meant all that stuff about being so happy to see me.”

  “I did. It was nice to see a familiar face.”

  “I thought when you showed up at the police station the other day—”

  “Please don’t read any more into my coming back here than there is. I came to help Levi. Thank you for coming to tell me about my dad.” The screen door behind her slammed shut, and Alan scowled when he looked over her shoulder. Miller was outside, watching them no doubt. “Please, go.”

  “I came to take you to see your father.” Alan glared over her shoulder for a few seconds, and the scowl morphed into something that made Emily feel uneasy, even if she couldn’t quite read it. With his eyes still fixed behind her and his jaw tense, he said, “I’m starting to get the feeling you want me to go.” He slowly lowered his gaze to her. “He told you about me and Sara, didn’t he?”

  “Yes.”

  “You don’t want Miller to know about us, do you?”

  “No. Please.”

  “I see.” His jaw relaxed as the corners of his mouth curved up into a tender smile that didn’t match that unrecognizable dark emotion that was lingering in his eyes. “Guess it’s a good thing I don’t owe you any favors then.” He stepped around her, and as he walked by on his way to Miller’s house, he leaned in closer and whispered, “This oughta be fun.”

  “Wait!” She caught hold of his arm. It wasn’t that she wanted to keep the truth from Miller, but Alan would make it seem like it meant more than it really did. “What do you want?”

  “Lemme take you to see your father and buy you lunch.”

  That was easy enough. Too easy. “That’s it?”

  “That’s it. I want to spend some time with you. Who knows? I might change your mind about me.”

  There was no way that was going to happen, which made the deal simple enough. Plus, it would get him away from Miller. “You can take me to my car at Levi’s then follow me to the hospital. We’ll talk about lunch after we see how that goes.”

  “Deal.” He gave her quick peck on the cheek. “Now let’s go break the news to Miller.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Miller

  While Emily hurried down the stairs, Miller braced himself for the uncertainty that was oozing its way through his bloodstream like sludge. He could feel it. It started in his brain when Emily said Daniel was gay. Pretty soon it would reach his heart and get pumped throughout his whole body. He thought he was about to throw her into the water to sink or swim, but now he was the one who was drowning. He tried to hold on to what he knew. Emily let Chester help her because he was the only person in the family, aside from Levi, who was kind to her. Chester came to Miller because he wanted to know his granddaughter, and he thought Miller should have her if he wanted her.

  However, if Daniel was gay, that meant Emily was telling the truth when she said they never had sex. So she was pregnant with his baby. There was no way Abby could be his child because she had Daniel's disease. Two questions looped in quick time through Miller’s mind. Where was the child Emily gave birth to? And whose child was Abby? That was when the filthy uncertainty hit his heart.

  Miller checked his watch. He had a lot of questions. Who was the right person to answer them? Emily? If he opened this can of worms for Emily, no doubt she would have a lot of questions for him, questions he wasn’t prepared to field because he didn’t have any answers. How long was she going to be down there? He checked his watch again. The second hand seemed to be going in slow motion.

  “Emily?” he called out. No answer.

  There was a vague memory of a door slamming. He couldn’t tell if that was real or his mind trying to make sense of the trap door he’d fallen through closing on him.

  He walked down the stairs. When he got to the kitchen, he saw Emily through the screen door, talking to a policeman while Jack played in the front seat of the police cruiser. Miller’s first thought wasn’t about why a policeman was coming out to his house. It was about how long it would
take to get rid of him. Then what? Ask Emily who Abby’s real father was? How would she know? She didn’t even know Abby was hers. Was Abby hers? There was only one thing he could do—get away from Emily so he could go get some answers.

  He could tell by the way Emily was standing that she was tense. He didn’t even have to see her face to know what she must be thinking. Police only made house calls when the news was bad. When the policeman adjusted his stance and moved enough so that Miller could see his face, a fire of jealousy sparked in his stomach, shooting a flame right up his torso and lighting up his chest. Alan. That son of a bitch had some nerve showing up at his house again. He considered getting his bat and following through on the promise he made the last time he ran him off his property.

  The flame in his chest ignited the uncertainty that had made its way through his body, and Miller fought the hot urge to go to put himself between Alan and Emily. She could handle Alan. She’s hated Daniel’s stepbrother since his first day of school. Alan rode her bus, got off on her stop, and tried to follow her home. He’d kissed her right in front of Ma’am’s house. Ma’am ran him off the property. Then she grounded Emily for seducing him. She was only in eighth grade. Ma’am actually accused her of trying to sneak off to the old barn to have sex with him. Ma’am had always been mean. After that, though, she was especially hateful to her granddaughter.

  And Alan was relentless in his pursuit of Emily…until she started dating Daniel. Miller sometimes wondered if she hooked up with Daniel to get Alan off her back. Then he remembered they never did hook up because Daniel was gay. Dear God, what a mess. The pieces of his life were falling in on him like a Tetris puzzle that was moving too fast keep up with.

  Alan stepped around Emily, leaned over, and pecked her on the cheek. What an asshole. What an idiot. Was he too stupid to know that Emily standing there with Miller’s shirt on so early in the morning meant she’d stayed the night? Miller waited for the rebuff that was surely about to come. He’d sure like to see her smack the jackass at least once in his life. However, she didn’t. She grabbed his arm and pulled him back to her. The flame in Miller’s chest must’ve reached his eyes because the image of her reaching for Alan was singed into the back of his retinas. There were too many permanent images of the women in his life reaching out for that jackass in his mind. First Sara. Now Emily.

  Miller stepped off the porch, unwilling to let Alan to have a shot with Emily the way he had with Sara. He blamed himself for the choices Sara was forced to make. She never would have fallen for Alan’s charm if he’d been a better husband. But with Emily? No way. Police uniform or not, Alan was not coming any farther onto his property.

  “Hey there, Miller,” Alan called out as he put his arm around Emily’s shoulder with a little too much familiarity.

  “What’re you doing out here?”

  “Just got off duty. Emily’s old man had a stroke. I came to take her to the hospital to see him.”

  “I’ll take her.”

  “She wants me to take her, don’t you, Em?”

  Miller may have detected a slight cringe in Emily’s whole demeanor, might have noticed she tried to shrug Alan’s arm off her shoulder, might have guessed she would rather eat nails than ride anywhere with the asshole. Might have…if she hadn’t said, “I’m sure you have a lot of work to do. I don’t want to keep you from it. He’s going to drive me over to Levi’s so I can get my car.”

  “It’s no trouble.” Or was it? How would he be able to ask the questions he needed to ask of the people he needed to talk to if he was at the hospital all morning with Emily? Alan was only taking her to her car, after all. It wasn’t like he had to worry she was going to jump into bed with him. He held fast to the image of her pulling her hand out from under Alan’s at the police station before she even realized Miller was there. She still had no reason to trust the liar, no reason to fall for his smarmy charm, no reason to exact revenge for her ruined life. This was Emily, not Sara.

  Still, something was off. She wasn’t making any meaningful eye contact with him, and she kept pushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. After fourteen years, she still had the same tells. The fact that he could still read them made him want her even more, made letting her get into that car with Alan even harder.

  Emily tried to shrug out of Alan’s grip. It was a slight movement, but Miller caught it. Alan tightened his grasp on her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. Bastard.

  “Alan,” Emily said, looking up at him out of the corner of her eye, “why don’t you go strap Jack into a seatbelt while I explain the situation about my father to Miller?”

  “I ain’t no babysitter.”

  “I would really appreciate it.” She gave him a look that most people would probably read to be deferential. Most people. Miller knew better. He’d seen her look at her mother and grandmother too many times with her chin lowered and her eyebrows gently raised as they were reading her the riot act for something ridiculous like the shirts weren’t hung on the right hangers. She’d sit there and listen to them bawl her out. She’d nod and say, “Yes, Ma’am,” or shake her head and say, “No, Ma’am,” so earnestly. Then they’d leave, and her face would transform, becoming hard as granite.

  Alan trudged back to his car. When he was far enough away that Miller was sure he couldn’t hear, he whispered, “Is everything okay?”

  “My dad had a stroke. Alan came out here looking for me, and I feel terrible about that. I’m sure he’s the last person you want to see out here.”

  “That’s not what I’m talking about.”

  “I know.” She brushed a lock of hair behind her ears. “You must have a thousand questions about Daniel and the bomb I dropped on you…”

  Daniel was gay. Abby wasn’t Daniel’s.

  “…Alan has offered to take me to my car, and I’m going to let him.”

  “You said that already.”

  “Oh yeah.” She crossed her arms over her body, meaning she felt naked, unprotected. From Miller or Alan? “I hate that he’s here. It’s my fault. If it weren’t for me and my crazy family, he’d have no reason to come bother you. I’m not going to be with him for long, just to Levi’s to get my car.”

  It wasn’t simply Alan’s presence that was annoying; it was the way Alan’s presence was affecting Emily. It was the way he wasn’t going even try to argue that she go with him. It was the way he still hadn’t told her about Abby. Tell her what, though? That was the problem; he didn’t even know himself. Besides, Miller was so thrown by the new idea that Abby wasn’t Daniel’s that he didn’t think he could fake a normal demeanor, much less keep up conversation. He swallowed despite the lump in his throat.

  “Sure. I understand. He can probably get you there faster than I can.”

  “Jack is dying to ride in that police car.”

  “I bet he’ll turn the siren on.”

  “Maybe.” Emily smiled at him, but he knew better. That was no smile. It was a cringe. She wanted him to argue with her, make his case, and ask her not to leave. He couldn’t do that. He needed time to think. He needed to talk to someone. He needed to talk to Levi.

  He had to say something to let her know he wasn’t the big idiot he was acting like. “I forgot Walter called while I was out and asked me to count the head of cattle for the appraisal he’s getting. I hope your dad’s okay. We can meet back here later today.”

  “Sure.” She put her hand on his arm and smiled at him for real this time, and that pissed him off. He should be able to enjoy her touching him like that, not be stuck in this new nightmare.

  A week ago he wouldn’t have guessed that she’d be standing there, smiling at him, touching his arm. He also wouldn’t have guessed that Abby wasn’t Daniel's child. Because Daniel was gay and hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him. Everything Miller thought he knew was backward and upside down. He took her hand and placed it on his, palm-to-palm, finger-to-finger. “Do what you need to do. This is what you came back for.”

  She looked down
at the ground and nodded slowly. She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it. That was when Miller knew he wasn’t the only one who was hiding something. He wanted to say something, encourage her that whatever it was, it couldn’t be worse than the secret he was keeping. Instead, he kissed her on the lips as a warning to Alan.

  Hands off this one, pal.

  Miller walked Emily to the police car where Alan stood waiting for her with the door open, and she climbed into the back next to Jack. Once they were settled, she gave Miller a quick glance.

  He hated himself. He tried to smile, anyway.

  After the door was closed, Alan leaned in to Miller and said, “It sure is nice to have some fresh ass in this town, isn’t it? I personally hadn’t had a good boner in months ’til Emily walked into the station. She stay here overnight? Give you what you’ve wanted since your balls dropped?”

  “That’s none of your business.”

  “She sure does look to be in a hurry to get away from you. You just can’t keep a woman, can you, Miller?”

  “Don’t be a dick. You’re nothing more than her taxi driver. Come back here after you drop her off at Levi’s and I’ll give you a tip.”

  “Keep it,” Alan said. “From what Sara told me, that’s about all you’ve got.”

  Miller clenched his fists. If the son of a bitch wasn’t in his uniform, he’d hit him. Alan would love that. “I’ll call you later today when Emily comes back, let you know she’s safe.”

  “I have a feeling she’ll be resting her head somewhere else tonight.” He bared his teeth in another exaggerated smile. He chomped down on his damn neon green gum while he opened his door and gave one last parting. “Not surprising, considering our history,” he said with a wink.

  As the car pulled away, Miller dared another glance at Emily. She was looking at him. He was so afraid she’d leave that he had asked her if she would be there when he got back from taking Abby to school. She was there. It never occurred to him he’d see her drive away with Alan. He didn’t argue against it, didn’t even put up a good argument for letting him take her.