Queen of Swords: The Banished Gods: Book One (The Banished Gods Series 1)

by L. A. McGinnis

  “Because you decided to cheat me and bring back more than what you were supposed to. Balder would have gotten you out. Just like we planned.” Morgane was well aware of Loki’s eyes drilling into her with that little revelation.

  “I brought…” Morgane pinched the bridge of her nose. “You know what? Never mind. I don’t give a shit. You got what you wanted. Be happy with that.” She grew thoughtful. “One would think you’d be glad to get your son out of that hellhole, to know he is not suffering anymore. You should be happy he’s finally free. But you’re just pissed I didn’t play by your rules, aren’t you?”

  “Nobody double-crosses me, especially not a mortal.” There was cold, sharp determination on Odin’s face that promised there would be a price to be paid for what she’d done. Odin’s eyes skimmed the room, over Loki, Mir, settling on Balder. “But you did what I asked. And I suppose that’s something.”

  “Clearly I did. Since Balder’s back here on Earth with us.” And the cost of success, the cost of all of them sitting here? She kind of doubted Odin would care it was her mother’s life.

  She almost said more, even with everyone in the room watching them, but the words got all jammed up in her throat, even before Loki stepped between them. “That’s enough. Get out.”

  She swore she saw a shimmer of blue fire coat his hands. Or her eyes were playing tricks on her.

  “You don’t give me orders, traitor.”

  “No.” Mir stepped up beside Loki. “But I do, in my infirmary. Go. Give me time to sort through shit with Balder. I want to make sure these two mortals get some sleep. Food. They’re about to pass out from exhaustion. The sister’s malnourished and weak. You can pick this up again tomorrow if you so choose.”

  Without another word, Odin spun on his heel and was gone.

  Ava stared at him as he left then to the rest of them said, “I’ve never met anyone before whose name is Pissed Off.”

  It took Morgane a minute to catch up. Mir, too, because his rough chuckle broke out about the same time hers did, when she finally grasped what Ava said.

  “Odin. His name’s Odin. And I think your sister just handed him his ass. But enough about him. You two get in bed and stay there,” Mir grumbled. “For at least twelve hours. And food, I wasn’t bullshitting about that, either, you should both eat before you drop over.”

  “No,” Morgane corrected him. “No sleep for me, not until I have a handle on what happened. I need Balder to finish explaining.” She looked over to Ava, who bowed her head, resigned to hearing the rest. Morgane gripped her hand again and gave it a hard squeeze.

  At Morgane’s encouraging nod, Balder continued as if he’d never stopped. “A few years ago, something in the Underworld shifted. It was as if…a doorway opened up to somewhere even darker. And Hel began talking nonstop about freedom.”

  “My daughter is bound to the Underworld for eternity,” Loki pointed out, his hand smoothing over Morgane’s arm. “There is no escape for her, just as there is no escape for us from this realm. We are bound to our destinies.”

  “She began talking about freedom,” Balder insisted. “And not just her occasional forays into the mortal world. I’m talking total run of the Earth shit. Demons and all. Talked of a glorious future, of having no walls between worlds.” Balder licked his lips, adding cautiously, “Even talked of building a new world.”

  “And in all of her talk of freedom and leaving the Underworld for Earth,” Balder hesitated before adding, “your names came up.”

  “Our names?” Morgane shook her head in doubt. “There’s no way, how would she even know about us? We’re nobodies.”

  “Nevertheless, you were mentioned.” His eyes shifted over to Ava. “And as you know, she turned special attention to you. Especially at the end.” Ava’s face suddenly went blank, as if every emotion had just been wiped away.

  Balder gripped the edge of the counter, his face grave, pausing before he answered. “She mentioned you, Morgane. By name, while talking about freedom. About how she was going to shop. Gods, on and on with the shopping until I thought my ears were going to bleed. Not that they could, but still.”

  “Anything else?” Loki prompted. “What else?”

  “Too much to remember right now. Plans and schemes larger than you can imagine. She’s breeding things bigger and badder than the Grim, too, down in the catacombs beneath the dungeons. Mir, you and I’d better get together so I can explain how deep of shit you…we are in right now. Sometimes I think she’s insane, other times, she seems like she’s the sanest person in the room.”

  Balder shook his head. “She’s up to some scary shit, my friend, some real scary shit.”

  “May I please be somewhere I can see the sky?”

  It had been Ava’s only request.

  “This room’s small but overlooks the lake and a good part of the museum campus, right over there.” Morgane gestured to the huge window. “You can watch the sun come up every morning. And when it sets at night, the shadows of the buildings cut across the water. It’s beautiful.”

  She set down the towels, the plate of food she had carried up here, and stalled out. “What else Ava? What else can I do?”

  “Nothing.” Ava’s voice caught as she slid dark, empty eyes over to the window. “Everything.”

  Morgane’s throat tightened.

  “Mom never got out. But I did, you made sure of it. But…Mom. She’s still down there.” Her voice thinned down to the barest whisper. “That bitch will make her pay, you know, for trying to escape. For us managing to escape. The evil things Hel does, enjoys doing…” Ava’s eyes turned cold and unreadable. As if picturing exactly what Hel was doing.

  The ground felt as though it were being ripped out from beneath her. “We’ll get Mom out of there, Ava.” Morgane promised fiercely. “I did it once. I can do it again.”

  “You did. I don’t know how but you did. It could have gotten you killed, yet you went down there, faced Hel, and beat her. And got us all out. How, Morgane? You were just a kid when I saw you last. How is any of this possible?” Ava’s voice broke on the final word.

  “A lot changed after you and Mom were killed. I changed. I had to. But right now isn’t the time to talk about it. Tomorrow,” Morgane said firmly. “Tomorrow we’ll talk about everything. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know. Right now you should sleep. And watch the sunrise in the morning. It should be spectacular.”

  “I haven’t seen a sunrise in two years.”

  “I know.” Morgane smiled a little, pushing her sister toward the bed. She covered her up, tucking the blankets around her, as their mother would have, if she’d made it out alive. “But tomorrow? You will.”

  That thought alone almost wiped away the image of her mother’s slight figure swaying underneath the weight of all those Grim as they swept her aside.

  21

  An hour later, Balder’s words were an endless blur.

  “So you’re convinced Hel has been watching me all this time?” Morgane chewed her lip. “What about these past two years? I’ve been killing her little pets,” she pointed out, thinking about how she’d feel if someone were doing the same to her. “A lot of them. She seemed sort of pissed about that.”

  “Could be why she sent all those demons after you the other night. Maybe she was tired of losing them?”

  “How many times has Hel come calling, Morgane?” Loki pushed gently. “How many times has death come knocking at your door?”

  Morgane tallied them up on her fingers. Too many, it seemed, these past few years. “Well, Dad died in a freak car accident, which was the start of everything, less than three years ago. Ava had already quit school by then, but I was a freshman at the University of Chicago. That’s why we came back here, for the damn trip, you know. Because we liked the city and wanted to show it off to Mom. Then the demons took Mom and Ava. I died, the doctors told me, on my way to the hospital.” Loki reached out and grasped her hand, intertwined his fingers with hers, as the pieces of her
past began to fall into place. “Three times, at least, that night alone.”

  She felt a tremor, “But they brought me back.” She whispered, her eyes darting between Loki and Balder. “The EMS guys saved me that night. So I didn’t actually die. Hel would have missed her chance that night.”

  “If Hel started this all those years ago…” Morgane felt her insides roiling but mustered up the next horrible question as it came to mind. “You think Hel killed my dad, then somehow influenced us to come back to the city to finish me off? She is the Goddess of Death, right?”

  “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Morgane,” Loki cautioned, though he made no other arguments against her theory, only stared, his gaze cutting into her sharply.

  “Yet somehow, you found your way here.” Balder shared an intense look with Loki. “Or rather, Loki found you. Any way you look at it, you’re right in the middle of this. Whether by luck or chance, it seems you’re involved and have been for quite some time.”

  Morgane’s voice grew heavy, the words pushed out as if they were made of lead. “I don’t want to be a pawn in someone’s sick game.” She squeezed Loki’s hand in return. “Odin’s already used me. I won’t allow Hel to use me. I don’t know why or how or when this started.” She met their eyes steadily. “But it stops now. Tonight.”

  She hadn’t done this in so very long she wasn’t quite sure how to, or even if she should trust them enough to. But like Balder pointed out, her path had led her here. Perhaps it always had. She’d lost her mother and regained her sister. Balder was alive because of her. Odin had all but promised retribution. Sides were forming, lines were being drawn.

  And in war, allies were hard to come by.

  She took a breath, positive the words were going to come out all wrong.

  “Can you help me?”

  Hours later, the bath was still steaming. If the fog would just swallow her up, maybe she could disappear inside it and forget everything that had happened in the last few days. Morgane piled her hair on top of her head, twisted it tight, stabbing it through with two pins before sinking lower into the water, feeling the heat seep into her bones. Letting the warmth smooth out the aches, the scrapes, the sore muscles, when all the while her mind churned out impossible theories.

  Was she truly meant to die that night in the alley two years ago, along with Ava and her mother?

  And what if destiny meant for her to be here, exactly where she was?

  Mixed up in all of this? With Loki?

  Who had not even once brought up the fact she’d lied to him. Tricked him. Snuck out of this building after making a secret deal with Odin. Gone behind his back and almost gotten herself killed. Yet again. At the thought of what she’d done, her heart ached so badly she thought it might bleed. Loki, who’d taken care of her and Ava, even after she’d betrayed him. And not said a single word about it.

  If their roles were reversed? If he’d lied to her about practically everything?

  Her head roared at the mere thought of it. She’d be so pissed off she wouldn’t be able to see straight. As it was, she was soaking in a hot tub, safe, comfortable, cared for. Because he’d come for her. And gotten them all out alive. God, she sucked.

  Scrubbing the tears off her face, she found Loki leaning in the doorway, watching. For a long moment, all they did was take each other in. “I failed you today,” he said softly. She opened her mouth to deny it, but he cut her off. “I did. I should have gone back for your mother. I should have at least tried.” His voice was barely a sigh. “But in those seconds, I couldn’t think of anything but saving you.” While she had managed to only think of Ava.

  He took a step forward, sat on the edge of the tub, looking down at her with impossible gentleness. “If I could give her back to you, I would. She was your family. She bought us the time we needed to get away. Your mother gave that to us. All of us.” He reached out and wiped a tear off her cheek.

  “There was a time…” His words trailed off as Morgane waited, her arms banded around her knees.

  “There was a time,” Loki said again, his voice stronger this time, “when I had a family. We were family. It’s hard to imagine, I know, seeing us the way we are now. Seeing Odin like this, so jaded and bitter. But he wasn’t always like this. None of us were like this. Ruined.”

  “Your mother, she died for you. She was willing to die for all of us. To give us that chance.” The words sounded like a plea. “I should have stopped her, or I should have found another way to the bridge.”

  “None of this is your fault, Loki.” Her eyes, even while they burned, were clear enough. “It isn’t anyone’s. Mom did the same thing that night in the alley. She yelled for us to run, she bought us time, though she couldn’t even see what was attacking us. She saved us today like she saved me then.”

  “Still. I would have done things differently.” The look on his face sharpened. “But ask me if I could take back the night I picked you up and brought you back here.” Those incredible eyes glinted with steely determination. “I’d make the same decision. Call me selfish but to have you here with me, right now?” His smile turned thoughtful. “Yeah, I’d do it all over again. Call it fate.”

  “I don’t believe in fate.” The water was cooling, and it swirled around her knees as she reached out for a towel. “No more than I believe in coincidence or luck.” Exhausted, she leaned into him gratefully as he wrapped her up, his hands tugging the towel tightly around her waist. “Which is the question I keep asking myself. Why me? Why not some other, random mortal? What do I have that no one else has? And how does Ava fit into all of this?”

  “All valid questions,” he murmured, taking her weight as she swayed against him. “And ones which deserve answers. Right after you sleep.”

  “I can’t sleep. Too much running around in my head.”

  “Then make it stop.”

  She made it two unsteady steps before his hand slid under her other elbow, guiding her toward the bed. “Turn it off, Morgane, if only for a few hours. And sleep.”

  She slipped out of the towel, and he slid a shirt over her, smelling of him. Ran a finger along that scar, seeing it, finally understanding what the words, what the promise of it meant to her. Then without a word, he pushed her against the pillows and covered her up. “Can you stay, just until I fall asleep?”

  He settled in beside her, face to face, searching her eyes as she voiced the other question that had been dogging her for hours. “I don’t understand why I’m here, Loki.”

  Pressing a kiss against her forehead, he answered, “Because I need you to be.” And he hugged her closer as sleep dragged her under.

  22

  Loki waited until Morgane’s breathing steadied before slipping out.

  Of all the things he had seen, in all the realms he had seen them, today had by far been one of the worst. And he had a feeling it was not over yet.

  Watching her mother, her mother for fuck’s sake, throw herself between them and the writhing horde, just to buy them enough time to make it to the bridge…

  Fuck.

  They may have been cursed to spend an eternity here because of him. And yet, nothing had left him feeling as powerless as watching that woman die today.

  Every step he climbed to his son’s room, that helplessness spiraled up, up inside him. He hadn’t been able to save her. He couldn’t get the sight out of his head of her slight, frail body in front of the wave. The stairs in front of him began to eddy, and he slapped a hand against the wall for support.

  A long time ago, only once, he’d felt a similar, frantic feeling. The day he’d allowed Hel to persuade him to kill the serpent that swallowed the world.

  The serpent was supposed to cause the apocalypse, by consuming Asgard and all life within it. At least, that’s what Hel’s constant, incessant whispering had convinced him of. To prevent it, she’d said, all he had to do was destroy it, and he’d cheat destiny itself.

  She plied him with deception disguised as flattery, whispering her wi
cked lies in his ear, feeding his bottomless ego, his arrogance, his fears.

  In the end, he’d followed through and done it, hacked the creature’s head off, hoping to prevent the ending of their world. Prevent war, bloodshed, death.

  And yes, he’d realized his mistake, once he’d seen the utter delight on his daughter’s face.

  This feeling, this fear, this utter, sinking horror, only happened one other time. And only for one reason. Because he had something to lose. Something he cared about. Last time, it was his entire world, his people, his children, and everything he knew.

  This time? Someone else he cared for deeply.

  Rapping on the door at the top of the steps, he stepped back and waited, his finger tracing the carved wards encircling the stone doorjamb. Mir’s markings, and damn good work.

  “What?” Barked Fen’s rough voice through the door.

  “Let me in, we need to talk.”

  Fenrir’s room was kept Jesuit sparse. Not because he liked it that way, more so because it was a necessity. Wolves and fine furniture did not mix well. Loki skimmed a look over his son, head to toe. “Full moon?”

  “Couple of days yet. But I’m good.”

  Loki’s gaze drifted from the brooding, muscular man before him to the thick, silver chains bolted to the wall, illuminated by a thin square of watery moonlight. “All right, then.” He loosed a breath. “I have news. It appears Hel has been seeking Morgane. For quite a while.”

  “For how long?” Fen cocked his head, lupine, even in his human form. The same dark, wavy hair as Loki, framing a face many would call handsome. Intense, maybe. Predatory, most definitely. Blue eyes, but of a warmer, darker variety, ones reflecting a flash of green by night. But it was the sheer size of him that impressed. Fenrir was a wall of muscle, courtesy of his giantess mother. His looks, however, were Loki’s, albeit a wilder version. His ability to shift, dependent on the moon. And his mood.