Given my own history and the lifestyle I lead with my best friend, it may be apparent (or perhaps not) that I search for safety in my private life as I have found in business and intellectual pursuits.
No one other than you – with this writing – knows of the fear I have inside me. The fear that despite my survival, despite my success, and despite more random relationships than I would prefer at this stage of my life, it will all be snatched from my grasp.
I do not share these thoughts of fear with my best friend. He’s the strongest person I know so I’ve always pretended to be more fearless than I truly am.
Since I was a child, Micah has fought to keep me safe. He thinks the scales of favors done are firmly on my side but I know the truth. Without him, I would not have made it.
I certainly would not have thrived.
I’m unsure if we will have the honor of your company, Riya. I don’t know that you will view the life we lead with an open mind. In a perfect world, the answer to both of those unknowns would be yes.
Should you choose us, I give you my personal guarantee that you will not regret it. You’ve captured my undivided attention. Micah is similarly enthralled.
I’m enclosing my detailed background, education, and financial history to further put your mind at ease. It may be premature but I want this opportunity with you.
Include us. Come to us. Let us show you everything.
Every time she read Max Scottsdale’s essay, Riya’s heart raced. His gift with words was incredible.
She stood to pace her office and stopped in front of the photos of the two men. They were a mystery and she’d always loved mysteries.
Settling behind her desk again, she scrolled her mouse over Max’s name in her Skype contacts. It showed he was available. Before she could stop herself, she selected it.
Riya: Hello, Max.
Max: The lovely Riya. Hello! How are you?
Riya: Conflicted.
Max: Perhaps I can help.
Riya: I originally thought to choose six. However, I’m considering expanding the number of Subjects.
Max: To include Micah and me but still maintain the diversity in your data? That makes sense.
Riya: Does it? I’m a little worried.
Max: Riya, what you’re doing is magnificent. You’re gathering valid information that will help people. I know this based on the questions you’ve asked to date.
Riya: Still…this isn’t exactly done.
Max: A trail doesn’t come into existence until the first person steps foot in a place no one before has dared to go.
Riya: That’s a beautiful sentiment. It’s a big number. All things considered, a little overwhelming.
Max: Something tells me you’ve been hypervigilant in your selection process. I’ve no doubt you will choose those with honor, most in need of your time.
Riya: Thank you, Max.
Max: Let your heart rest easy, Riya. Stay the course you’ve laid out for yourself. I’m curious to see where it takes you.
Riya: I’m glad I didn’t second-guess talking to you.
Max: Your instincts are strong. Follow them.
Riya: I’ll let you get back to work. Thanks so much.
Max: It’s my pleasure. I’m thrilled to have a faster, more personal medium with which to communicate. Farewell for now.
After she printed and filed the conversation, Riya let a smile spread over her face. Max Scottsdale was a brilliant man.
More than once while going through the education and business documents he’d included for her, her eyes had widened in shock. Outside of the male sexuality aspect of her research, his brain was equally fascinating to her.
Decision made, she said to her empty house, “In for a penny, in for a pound. Not including them isn’t an option.”
From the first combined answers she received from the friends, she was unable to shake thoughts of them – and so many questions – from her mind.
She might as well get those answered.
Prospective Subject: Micah
That evening, after an argument with her father that went in circles, Riya returned to her duplex and dropped angrily into her desk chair.
Her eyes were drawn to Micah Chadwick’s file, open to his essay. She’d meant to read it after her chat with Max.
She was interrupted by Archer’s demands that she deal with yet another of his paramours being ejected from the house.
Scrubbing at the useless tears she hated crying, she inhaled carefully and pulled the file closer.
ESSAY
Subject Name(s): Micah
Subject Age(s): 34
Subject Career(s): Investment Banker
Marital Status: Single
Children (Y/N): N
Annual Income(s): $1M plus
Location: Manhattan
Writing isn’t my strength. However, for you, I’ll make an effort to express myself adequately.
You need to choose us and allow us the opportunity to show you many things I believe you seek to know. I realize your research is based in a psychological quest.
However, I won’t ignore your personal sexual curiosity.
In your questions, in your correspondence, I sense a woman seeking specific sexual knowledge. Between us, we can provide fulfillment of your goals.
Unlike my best friend, I embrace the rawness of sexuality. I own my pursuit of pleasure, my necessity to watch a woman find ecstasy she may not know she wants, and will tell you plainly that I desire your presence in my bed.
Gentlemanly conversation has its place. Since the day I met Max, he’s taught me the art of subtlety, the strength of silence, and the power of words. Without his friendship, I wouldn’t have learned patience, steady intent, or that I was intelligent.
When I met him, I couldn’t read. I did all my talking with my fists. I lived a life of fighting for every crumb and didn’t see that changing. Had our paths not intersected, I’d have spent the rest of my life ignorant and angry.
I followed his example and it changed everything.
We survived our life in the orphanage and went together to college. When he told me we needed to make our way to New York, I did not doubt him.
In all my years, Max is the only person I’ve ever trusted and who has trusted me unreservedly in return.
I wish for a woman in our lives who grants us the trust we’ve forged with one another. A woman who will know she is safe between us, protected at all costs, who will embrace what we have to give.
I don’t know where your path will lead you, Riya. I believe you need to make sure we’re a stopping place on it.
In this, you should trust me.
Come to New York. Put yourself in our care and keeping. Ask your questions, fulfill your quest, and take all the pleasure we can and will give you separately and together.
You deserve this and there’s nothing I want more than to provide you with whatever you need…that you might not realize you’ve been without…both in and out of bed.
I’ve attached all my criminal, financial, and educational details for your review. We even requested reports from Interpol to put your mind at ease.
Pleasure awaits you in Manhattan. Carpe diem, Riya.
To the room, she whispered, “Holy fuck.”
Micah was convincing and deliberate in the way he expressed his needs. That alone would have been impressive but his ability to tap into a dark space in her own mind, a place that was curious about so much but kept hidden, is what drew her.
Turning on her laptop, she went to Skype. He wasn’t online but she sent him a message anyway, surprised when he responded within a couple of minutes.
Riya: Micah, I’d love to chat with you whenever you have time.
Micah: I make time, Riya. What I truly want moves to the front of the line where it belongs.
Riya: The way you phrase things, it catches me off guard.
Micah: Anything new tends to do that. Nervousness is your mind’s way of trying to get you to pull bac
k. Self-preservation in the face of the unknown.
Riya: Do you listen to your subconscious?
Micah: In business, I follow my instincts. Personally and sexually, I often deny that inner voice. I embrace new, exciting possibilities. I crush down the fear.
Riya: You’re very strong.
Micah: As are you. I have a feeling you don’t know that about yourself. How is your research going?
Riya: Well. Did Max mention we chatted today?
Micah: Yes. I agree with him that you need to expand your initial scope. You need to include us but you still need data from other sources.
Riya: It seems…it’s a lot of men.
Micah: No. It’s a few men and you’ll find no judgment here, Riya. There will be no jealousy, no shame, and no hesitation to touch you myself. In fact, I believe it may encourage me to strive to greater efforts.
Riya: Ha! You mean healthy competition?
Micah: That made me smile. There will be no competition. I don’t say that to be arrogant. I say it because the odds are double in our favor. Come to us. Let us show you.
Riya: Alright.
Micah: That’s the spirit.
Riya: You’re very convincing.
Micah: If you weren’t open to being convinced, my efforts would be fruitless. That’s a good thing. You should rest. This decision probably weighed on you but I’m confident you’ve now made it.
Riya: I think you’re very different from other men.
Micah: I know I am. I hope it’s an asset and not a hindrance. Goodnight, lovely Riya.
She told him goodnight and shut down the program. Shaking, she printed and filed their conversation before staring blankly at the wall.
On a second board, she pinned the men she’d already chosen. Max, Micah, Hudson, Lucas, and Joshua. Based on her new number of eight participants, she needed to determine the remaining three Subjects.
Her project was taking on a new life, a new dimension. It sent her brain into overdrive and she’d be lying if she said her body wasn’t willing to follow.
Prospective Subject: Noah
The men involved in Riya’s research never failed to interest her on many different levels.
She was coming down to the last two weeks remaining to make a decision and the final few Subjects were proving difficult.
Noah McAllister was a prime example of the differences between most males and females, how environment and circumstances formed sexuality, and that even seemingly “charmed” men sometimes needed help.
Flipping through his first submissions, she read his essay again.
ESSAY
Subject Name: Noah
Subject Age: 33
Subject Career: Fuel Industry
Marital Status: Single
Children (Y/N): N
Annual Income: $375K
Location: Boxton, OK
My life is charmed. It always has been and I freely admit to being a self-absorbed, entitled user of women.
I’ve gone through “relationships” like a competitive sport and have shown no shame, no regret for the way I’ve been or how I’ve treated the women in my life.
Recently, the second of my two brothers married and I find myself spun out by it.
You see, the woman he married, that he’s been in love with for more than a decade, was someone I wanted as well.
I didn’t love her. Hell, it’s unlikely I’ll ever understand the meaning of the word. She was pretty, smart, and the type of woman I would probably “suit” in marriage.
Initially, she was nothing more than a conquest for me. Another score on a board littered with a high majority of the single women in about a hundred square miles.
Then I started seeing her as someone who could offer me validation. Who by her very presence on my arm would tell the world at large, “I chose him because he’s worthy.”
I didn’t realize how badly I needed someone to tell me, show me I was worthy until I watched the way she looked at my brother.
Suddenly, I wanted someone to look at me the in the same way, to see who I was, and find me capable as a man.
I know my strengths in the realm of business. My family is strong and rooted deep in our community. Trouble is rare and for that I’m grateful.
When it comes to women, I’ve severely handicapped my chances of finding someone decent.
I spent so long seeing them as trophies to be won that I find myself in my thirties without a clue about how to show my need for a partner in life.
After all, in my pursuit of careless affairs, I chose women as self-absorbed and entitled as myself.
If I were a good woman, I’d avoid me like the plague. I wouldn’t blame them. How could I? I’ve been blatant in my games, careless with my own reputation and that of women I’ve played with, and acted like Scarlett O’Hara in figuring I’d think about real life “tomorrow.”
Tomorrow arrived. Now what?
The tone of his essay made her think of the uphill battle her father would now have to find a good woman, a loving woman, after the revolving door of ridiculous hangers-on he’d entertained in the past years.
Someone like Tawny’s mom, Maggie. A spectacular woman Riya suspected was in love with Archer O’Connell…and had been for a very long time.
Opening her computer, she reached out to Noah. She needed to make more of an effort to finalize her list. He was online.
Riya: Are you busy, Noah?
Noah: Ha! You wouldn’t believe how much downtime I have in the course of a normal business day. Nice to hear from you, Riya.
Riya: We keep missing one another.
Noah: I’ve been wrapped up in family responsibilities the last few weeks. Honestly, I was also avoiding you.
Riya: Can you tell me why?
Noah: This thing you’re doing…it’s pretty amazing. Writing my essay forced me to fully formulate my own thoughts. Probably for the first time in my life.
Riya: That’s a bad thing?
Noah: It’s earth-shaking. Since I submitted it and agreed to keep going, all those things I uncovered seem to color how I look at the world. It’s definitely changed how I interact with women.
Riya: Do you think the changes are positive?
Noah: I do. That’s why I think I need to withdraw.
Riya: Absolutely no judgment. Will you tell me more?
Noah: Riya, I was intellectually stimulated by your project. That’s true. What’s also true is that it’s also been something of a game to me. Much like every other exchange I’ve had with women.
Riya: You thought of me as a trophy?
Noah: Being selected was the trophy and you were the very delectable icing on top. I’m…changing. I don’t want to be the way I was and I don’t want to perpetuate that person by bringing you here. Adding sex to what is shaping up to be my first honest relationship with a female would mess it up. I want to be better.
Riya: That makes a lot of sense. I think you’re making huge strides in the right direction, Noah.
Noah: Considering the course of your research and what I’m assuming has been a substantial area of study for you already, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that.
Riya: I’m going to pull you from the list of potential Subjects. However, I want you to feel free to contact me if you need to talk. Perhaps remaining platonic (and virtual) friends will help you grow toward this new version of self.
Noah: That’s awesome of you. I might take you up on it.
Riya: Until we talk then, I wish you all the best. Wanting change is the first step to getting it. Be good to yourself, Noah.
Noah: Thank you, Riya. Good luck and that contact goes both ways if you need anything. Anything goes weird while you’re interviewing the guys involved in this and I’m happy to be a white knight.
Riya: LOL – let’s hope that isn’t necessary. Goodnight and thank you for all the data you’ve given me so far, Noah.
Noah: You’re welcome. Thanks for being a catalyst I clearly needed.
&
nbsp; Sitting back, Riya printed the pages and removed Noah’s information from her board. As she filed it away, she took a deep breath.
“Two withdrawn from my original twelve.” Lowering into her chair, she added quietly to the empty room. It made her sad. “Still, easier than rejecting them myself.”
It was time to address another Subject’s concerns. Tawny didn’t watch sports but she was well-versed in pop culture.
Riya needed to gauge how much exposure someone like Grady Teutonico truly had in average society. She picked up her cell and dialed her BFF.
“Yep?” Tawny sounded like she was running.
“Are you okay?”
“Light jog. What’s up?”
“You don’t…jog. What’s going on?”
“The point of your call, toots!”
“Ugh. Fine. You’re clearly in a hurry. Had a weird question.” There was a loud bang. “Tawny?”
“All good. Ask the question!”
“Do you know who Grady Teutonico is?”
“Um. Plays for the Packers, right? How the hell do you know his name? I think he’s the guy who protects the quarterback. Big motherfucker and fine as hell.” There was a horrible screeching sound, then, “Gotta go. Call you later!”
The line went dead.
“That’s not fucking distressing at all!” she shouted at the phone. “I hate this shit.”
Back at her computer, she opened a chat with Grady.
Riya: Hi. I asked my best friend about you (a person who knows as little about sports as me) and she knew who you were right away. Team and even position. She said you were fine as hell. Unfortunately, that means you might be right. I think you might be a little too overexposed to keep my dissertation on the quiet. What are your thoughts?
It was several hours before he appeared online. Time for her to take a run, make dinner, blow Tawny’s phone up about twenty times until she was able to hear her voice again, and clean her small house.
Grady: Hi, Riya! I figured you’d get around to the same conclusion. I promise, I understand. I want you to do this project. It’s good stuff. Important. You need anonymity.
Riya: I’m sorry.
Choice of Subjects: The Barter System Series Page 4
