Howard Wallace, P.I.

by Casey Lyall

  “Junior,” Ivy said as she waved to the crowd.

  “Bradley was our first suspect, but through our investigation, we realized he wasn’t capable of acting alone.”

  Bradley stood up, mouth open to speak, but Lisa hauled him back down.

  “Then,” Ivy said. “We suspected Lisa, but she was way too hot-headed to be the mastermind of such a cold-hearted scheme.”

  “Somebody else was pulling the strings,” I said. “They were merely the lackeys.”

  Lisa pushed her chair back. “Why you dirty, double-crossing little—“

  “Lisa,” her mother said sharply. Our president turned red and ducked down in her chair with a frown.

  “Yes,” I said, grinning widely. “All of that and more.”

  “You said if I helped you, you’d keep me out of it,” Lisa muttered.

  I looked at Ivy. “Is that what I said?”

  “No,” Ivy said. “I don’t think so.”

  “No, what I said was if you helped me, I’d make sure you got the recognition you deserve. Not my fault how you interpreted that.”

  “What have I told you about the fine print?” Mrs. Grantley snapped at her daughter.

  “If you didn’t write it, don’t sign it,” Lisa intoned.

  “This was a rookie mistake,” Mrs. Grantley said. “Your father’s going to be very disappointed in you.”

  Lisa’s face fell, and when she looked up at me, I knew she’d decided exactly where the blame belonged. I could only deal with one personal grudge at a time, so she’d have to get in line.

  Mrs. Rodriguez attempted to redirect our focus. “Howard, back to the topic at hand, please?”

  “Of course,” I said. “In the case of Mr. Vannick, we had our reasons to suspect him, but we know how that turned out, so let’s move on.”

  “Sorry, again,” Ivy said, and Mr. Vannick grunted.

  “They’re stalling,” Delia said, understanding sparking in her eyes. “Why are they stalling?”

  With impeccable timing that I’d planned, but expected to fail miserably, a commotion started outside the door. Raised voices in the hallway wound their way through the lounge. I spotted Ms. Tomarelli’s head through the window in the door as she attempted to block whoever was trying to get through. The office administrator was putting up a valiant fight.

  “Sir, I told you,” she said. “You cannot go in there.”

  “And I’m telling you I gotta see Mrs. Rodriguez.” Marvin’s foghorn voice squashed any further arguments. “This is important information she needs to know.”

  He burst through the door and strutted in like a proud rooster. “Which one of you is Mrs. Rodriguez?”

  “I am.” Mrs. Rodriguez stood, unsure of what to make of the wizened old man who stood before her. “Who are you?”

  “Marvin Parsons of Marvin’s on Main,” Marv said, pumping her hand up and down. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Why—” Mrs. Rodriguez tried to get a word in, but Marvin was on a roll.

  “I hate to tell you this, but you got a real problem with the kids at this school. One of them tried to make a purchase at my store with this.” He handed her a check. “I highly doubt that was an authorized usage.”

  She examined the check. “Could you identify the student?”

  Marvin scratched at his ear. “Yeah, probably.” He glanced over at me, and I subtly pointed at Delia.

  “Oh, hey,” Marv said, examining the kids at our table. “It was that girl right there.”

  All eyes in the room turned to Delia.

  “What?” she squawked. “I’ve never seen this man before in my life!”

  “Are you calling me a liar?” Agitation had Marvin’s voice shaking. “This is what I get for trying to do a good deed. Taking time away from my shop to come all the way over here.”

  “But it is a lie.”

  “I won’t stand for this harassment. I’m telling it like it is. I saw you with my own two eyes in my shop with a fistful of checks.”

  Delia leapt up from the table. “That’s impossible. They never left my room!”

  The room went dead silent. Delia gasped and slapped a hand over her mouth.

  Everything erupted at once.

  Delia was yelling at me, Meredith was yelling at Delia, and Lisa was yelling at everyone. Mrs. Rodriguez was attempting to wrestle back control of the situation, but first she had to cut through the line of parents asking her how she let this happen and what she was going to do about it.

  Marvin used the chaos to make his escape. He flashed two fingers at me before slipping out the door. Busting Delia so thoroughly was definitely worth owing Marvin a second favor.

  Mrs. Rodriguez finally got the room settled down.

  I cleared my throat. “I think it’s only fair, given the evidence, that Delia’s bag is searched as well.”

  The bag in question was set on the table while we all gathered round. Mr. Vannick did the honors again. He searched the bag inside out and found nothing until he came across a small side pocket. Mr. Vannick unzipped it to reveal the checks nestled inside.

  “You put those in there,” Delia said. “You stole them from my room on Sunday.”

  My mother turned to look at me. “I thought you were at Ivy’s on Sunday.”

  I knew that story was going to come back to bite me eventually. “We may have taken a detour and done some investigating.”

  “Oh, Howard.”

  “It had to be done,” I said. Of that, I had no doubt.

  “More importantly,” Ivy said as everyone returned to their seats, “have you guys been listening? I believe we have what’s called a confession. Delia took the checks!”

  Meredith shook her head. “But why?”

  “I had no choice,” Delia said, bitterness hanging on to every word. “You were leaving me behind. Everything was ‘student council,’ ‘twenty-year plan,’ ‘eyes on the prize.’”

  “But we’re friends.”

  “Is that what you’d call us?” Delia scoffed. “Ever since you got elected, you’ve been ignoring me. When you did notice me, you were mean and bossy.”

  “So you decided to blackmail me.” Meredith sat back in her chair, stunned.

  “If you were off the council,” Delia said. “We’d have a shot at being friends again. And if not friends, at least you’d be hurting too.”

  It sounded just as crazy the second time around. “I still think your logic is messed up,” I said.

  “Oh, be quiet, Howard,” Delia snarled. “You ruined everything. I had the perfect plan. Lisa and Bradley were on board. Then you showed up and stuck your nose in it.”

  “I was hired to stick my nose in it.”

  “But nobody thought you’d be good at it.” Lisa and Bradley nodded in vigorous agreement.

  “I’m going to choose to take that as a compliment,” I said.

  “Taking the high road,” my mother whispered behind me.

  “We thought you’d fizzle out after a day,” Delia said. “But you started closing in on us, and you had to be dealt with.”

  Another piece clicked into place. “That’s why you went after Blue,” I said.

  “I had to do something to get you off my back.”

  “By slicing up a defenseless bike?”

  My mother gasped, and the rest of the parents shifted uncomfortably. “You didn’t tell us that,” she said.

  “I was handling it,” I said. “There’re always risks in my line of work. I just never thought anyone would be low enough to go after Blue.”

  “For the record,” Delia said. “It might have been my idea, but Bradley and Lisa did the actual slicing and dicing.”

  Bradley sunk down in his chair, and Lisa leaned forward. “It’s all going on the record, Delia,” she said. “I’m not forgetting any of this.”

  “That makes two of us,” Delia shot back.

  “I still can’t believe it was you,” Meredith said.

  “Why?” Delia stood up to pace beside her fr
iend. “Because I should have rolled over like I always do? Let you get away with kicking me to the curb?”

  “Here’s a wild idea,” Meredith sniped back. “You could have tried talking to me.” She threw up her hands in exasperation when Delia snorted at that suggestion.

  “In any case,” Ivy said. “Turning to a life of crime should always be a last resort.”

  “Excellent point, partner.” I nodded.

  “Shut it, Howard Wallace.” Delia and Meredith spoke as one poisonous unit.

  “Well,” I said to Ivy, “at least they agree on something.”

  “Warms the heart, doesn’t it?” she said, patting a hand against her chest.

  “Enough,” Mrs. Rodriguez said. “Delia, sit down.”

  Lisa stood up. “I—”

  “I’ll deal with you in a minute, Lisa.” Mrs. Rodriguez rubbed at her temples.

  “Thank you, Howard and Ivy,” she said eventually, “for bringing this to light.”

  Ivy and I nodded, proud of our accomplishment, yet humble.

  “This does not change the fact that you weren’t to be conducting your investigations on school property.” I knew this was coming. No good deed goes unpunished, as they say. Especially when you break the rules to do the deed.

  “Ivy, due to your involvement, you will join Howard for his detentions.”

  That was fair. Solidarity was good for a partnership.

  “And Howard,” she continued. “You can add an extra two weeks on to your detention thanks to your flagrant disregard for the rules.”

  “Only fitting for a senior partner,” Ivy whispered, and I stifled a laugh. Our case had landed sunny-side up, and I still had my partner by my side. I could survive a little extra detention.

  Ivy and I were excused, and Mrs. Rodriguez turned to Lisa, Bradley, Delia, and Meredith. “Now,” she said. “What to do with you four?” My mother and Ivy’s father prodded us out of the room.

  I stuck my head back in before they closed the door. “Before I forget, I’ll be sending you the bill for Blue’s new tires.”

  My mother dragged me down the hall and gave me a big hug. From the bowels of defeat, we had emerged victorious. I didn’t bother to hide my smile.

  Pulling back, she stared into my eyes. “I had no idea how much work you put into this job.”

  “Neither did I,” Ivy’s father said, shooting a wry look at his daughter. He stuck out a hand to my mother. “Hector Mason.”

  “Lois Wallace,” my mother said, shaking his hand. She raised an eyebrow at me and Ivy. “Pity we couldn’t have met under less detention-filled circumstances.”

  Mr. Mason laughed and nodded. “At least I finally got to meet the famous Howard Wallace.”

  “I don’t know what he’s talking about,” Ivy said, grabbing her father’s hand. “Come on, Dad, I’ll walk you to your car.”

  “Good idea,” he said. “You can fill me on all these interesting activities you’ve neglected to tell me about. Did Grandma know about this?”

  Watching Ivy walk down the hall, trying to wriggle her way out of further punishment, I felt a pair of eyes on me. My mother was staring again.

  “What?”

  She smiled. “I like Ivy. She seems like a sweet girl.”

  “That’s because you don’t know her very well,” I said.

  Strolling down the hall, Ma laughed. “I guess we’ll have to have her over for dinner, then.”

  The woman did not know what she was getting herself into. “We’ll see,” I said.

  “I probably shouldn’t say this,” she said, putting an arm around my shoulder and drawing me in close. “But that was kind of fun.”

  “Getting hauled in front of the principal again?”

  “No, that was bad. Don’t repeat that,” she said, frowning and then ruffling my hair. “But watching you in action? Pretty amazing.”

  Hope sprung up immediately. “Amazing enough that I’m unpunished?”

  “Oh, no,” she said. “You’re still punished. And you’ve got a second grounding coming to you for violating the first.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “Ivy and I had to finish it.”

  We walked along in silence, and I tried to figure out my next move. My mother seemed to be immersed in her own seriously deep thoughts.

  She cleared her throat before I could speak. “You made some mistakes this week, Howard, and broke many, many rules.”

  That was undeniable.

  “But,” she continued, “I think your father and I may have made a mistake, too.”

  I stopped breathing. All my energy was being put into listening to my mother’s next words.

  “You and Ivy risked a lot to solve this case and make things right. The two of you are quite the team,” she said. “I think banning something you’re so passionate about was not the best solution.”

  The sweet air of victory began to fill my lungs. Fingers crossed that Pete had managed to keep my pickle buckets.

  “Don’t jump to any conclusions about getting off easy, but I’ll speak to your father when he gets home,” Ma said as she laced her fingers through mine. “Perhaps we need to reevaluate the terms of your sentence.”

  Chapter Thirty

  Sometimes, enthusiasm and perseverance can outweigh a bad decision. At least, it did for my folks. Pops was as impressed as my mother was with how doggedly I went after Meredith’s case, even after I’d been expressly forbidden. They didn’t want to stifle my investigative instincts, but there were strict conditions to operate under. I had to promise to check in with them and conduct my business responsibly. And I had to reduce my hours. I’d need a sign that read:

  Wallace Investigations (Saturday, Sunday, and every other Friday).

  That night, Pops visited the back office while I filed Medith’s paperwork. “Your mom and I tried to get rid of this, but we couldn’t bring ourselves to do it.” He passed me a brown lump. “You can’t be out investigating without it.”

  My coat, better and browner than ever.

  “Thanks, Pops.” Now I was officially back in business.

  “Also, we got you something.” He brought his arm out from behind his back and handed me a dusty, black oval box. “Open it.” I pulled off the lid and dug through the tissue paper.

  “It’s for Christmas, but we decided to give it to you now since it seemed appropriate.”

  Inside the box was a worn, brown fedora. Lovingly worn, not shabbily. And it fit perfectly. My old man nodded in satisfaction. “Marvin said that one would do.” Good old Marvin. Pops snapped his fingers and reached into his pocket. “Almost forgot. He also asked me to give you this.” He passed me an envelope with my name written in spidery scrawl across it.

  I opened it up to find a Marvin’s on Main Street receipt inside.

  Howard, come and see me this week. We got to talk about that first favor you owe me.

  Marvin

  P.S. Wear the hat.

  Yup. Good old Marvin.

  “Knock, knock.” Ivy poked her head in through the doorway.

  “Hey, Ivy,” my old man said. He moved toward the door to leave.

  “Thanks, Pops,” I said. “This is perfect.” He smiled at me and headed back into the house.

  “Back in the office,” Ivy said. “How’s it feel?”

  I leaned back in my chair. “Feels good.”

  Ivy plopped down in the cozy chair, remembered the stink, and got back up. “Did you get Spaceman Joe back to Kevin? Is he surviving the wrath of Delia after helping us?”

  “Kevin was very pleased,” I said. “He appeared to still be in one piece, but the fact that Delia’s not allowed out of her room—”

  “And he’s not allowed in it—” Ivy smiled as she leaned against my desk.

  “—definitely helped with that.” I grabbed the last of Meredith’s paperwork and stuffed it into her file. Ivy took the file and shoved it into the cabinet. I made a mental note to search for it later since I was 98 percent sure she put it in a random
spot.

  “I’m still peeved that Bradley and Lisa got off so lightly,” Ivy said.

  I shrugged. “Deep pockets have a way of filling any holes you’ve gotten yourself into.” Lisa’s parents’ pockets went on for miles. They’d sent me money for Blue’s repairs, but I felt skeezy using it. Grantley money had to be ill-gotten gains. I decided to keep it aside for an emergency bribes fund.

  “At least that’s one campaign promise fulfilled,” Ivy said. “The coffee bar will make a lovely addition to the teacher’s lounge.”

  “Once again, everything comes up Grantley.”

  “So, things are back to normal,” Ivy said. “What’s our new case? What’re we working on?”

  “Leaves,” I said. I walked out into the yard and Ivy followed.

  “Huh?”

  “We’re allowed to keep the business going, but my folks aren’t going to let my punishment slide. They’ve assigned me chores. Lots of chores,” I said. “Starting with leaves.”

  Ivy picked up a rake that had been propped against the office wall. “And I take it you’d like my help?”

  I grinned and grabbed the second rake. She sighed and started raking. There was something to be said for having a partner again. I clapped a hand on her shoulder. “You’re a good man, sister.”

  Ivy looked up and smiled. “Maltese Falcon, right?”

  “You watched the movies!”

  She shook a finger at me and looked stern. “I completed my training regimen,” she said. I laughed and went back to work. Leaning against her rake handle, Ivy eyed me contemplatively.

  “When did you get a hat?” she asked. “I should get a hat.”

  I tipped the hat off my head and eyed it, considering, before plopping it back into place.

  “Hats are for senior partners only.”

  “Okay, seriously?” Ivy managed to glare and roll her eyes at me in one go.

  “Dead serious,” I said. “We’ll go see Marvin tomorrow and check out his stock.”

  A huge grin swept across her face, and she did a little dance with the rake. “Now you’re talking. Mason and Wallace—”

  “Wallace and Mason,” I said. “Let’s not get crazy.”

  “Whatever,” Ivy said. “Wallace and Mason Investigations—‘we keep a file, so you don’t have to.’”