Buried Sins

by Bolton, Karice

  A few minutes of silence went by as Dr. Doro wrote a few things down, and I toyed with a tassel from one of the pillows. I had no idea why, but my body got warm and my heart rate shot up. I shook my head and pressed my fingers into my temples to dissipate the headache that surfaced. I thought back to my mom and the toll her life took on her. She was the opposite of Luke. She just stopped functioning. She withdrew from the world. Luke was the opposite. I understood we all coped with things differently, but the idea that Luke might never stop until he fixed an unfixable situation scared me to death because the one thing I understood about these people was that they had no problem pulling the trigger.

  We were both waiting for me to ask the next question.

  “Do you think this relationship is doomed?”

  “That’s not for me to say. Humans are far more complex than any hour-long session can explain. There can be two people who are exactly alike in every way, who make their relationship work for fifty years, and there can be two people who are the exact opposite who do the same. It really all depends.”

  “Depends on what?” I asked.

  “Depends on whether one of you gives up.”

  Luke

  The cabin was exactly as I’d remembered it. The porch was covered in dust and the landscape sparse. Even with Flagstaff’s mountainous terrain, there wasn’t much in the way of greenery. Spindly spruces marked the perimeter of the home and a stone path led to the front porch. Everything looked as I’d last left it. A property management group had maintained the home over the years and the alarm system helped to keep it intact from raiding vagrants. Not that they’d be able to easily find the place. It was in the middle of acreage with a driveway hidden as could be.

  “Anything in particular I should be looking for?” Alex asked.

  “Not that I’m aware of. Years ago, I searched this place inside and out so I don’t even know why I’m back.”

  Alex nodded and reached for the door handle. “Well, let’s make it happen.”

  I climbed out of our rental car and pulled the keys to the cabin from my pocket. With every step closer to the front door, I prayed for a clue that I’d previously missed. I prayed for an answer to a question I’d never asked. I prayed for peace to a war I didn’t know existed.

  Sliding the key out of the deadbolt, I turned the handle and pushed the door open. The alarm chime began dinging, and I quickly made my way over the alarm pad and turned it off. The room I was standing in was large with vaulted ceilings that exposed a sleeping loft that extended over the back of the home. The great room contained a kitchen, eating area, closet and living area. An old couch sat in the middle of the room but nothing else remained. There was a short hallway by the kitchen that led to a bathroom and bedroom. The air was filled with dust and an unpleasant sensation.

  Alex slipped on latex gloves and started at the closest window, gliding his finger along the sill in search of something I’d missed when I’d been here before.

  But sometimes all it took was a fresh perspective, a new set of eyes to see the world in a different light. I slipped on a pair of latex gloves and walked toward the kitchen. The cabinets were decades old, but they were made out of solid maple and weren’t going anywhere. I opened the silverware drawer, which was empty, and ran my fingers along the seams. Unsatisfied with the results, I yanked on the drawer and tossed it on the floor.

  “You okay?” Alex asked from across the room.

  “Yeah. Just trying a new technique.” I ran my hands along the underside of the cabinet where the hole I created stared back at me, but I came up empty-handed.

  I opened the cabinet doors and lifted out each shelf, throwing them onto the pile I was quickly creating in the center of the kitchen.

  Still nothing.

  After every cabinet and drawer had been searched, I glanced at Alex, who was searching the closet. I cracked my knuckles and set my sights on the countertops. This home meant nothing to me any longer, and I felt the sudden need to tear every single piece of this kitchen apart.

  “I’ll be right back. I’m gonna go grab something from the shed out back.”

  “Want me to come with you?” Alex asked.

  I shook my head and went out the front door. Being outside in the fresh air as I walked around the cabin clarified what needed to be done. I felt the need in my fingertips. I knew this house offered answers. I just wasn’t going about it the right way.

  I reached the shed and tugged on the handle. It opened right up. Most of the tools had been stolen over the years, but I found a rusty shovel and a crowbar. I grabbed both and closed the door.

  My mind flipped to Hannah as I walked back inside. The sooner I solved this, the sooner we could begin living our lives the way she deserved. I walked back into the cabin and headed straight for the kitchen. I tossed the shovel onto the linoleum and took the crowbar to the Formica countertops, prying each piece up and pulling it off the cabinets.

  With every piece that I ripped apart, I felt one step closer to finding something that had been elusive for so long. But it wasn’t only Alex who had fresh eyes. I did too. I no longer looked at this cabin as a place I went when I was a kid. It no longer seemed like the sanctuary our family fled to on vacation. Now it seemed like a shell of bitter memories and lies. I began slamming the crowbar into a piece of difficult cabinetry until it splintered to the floor. Every swing made me feel free and closer to the answers I so desperately needed to find.

  I yanked on the last overhead cabinet and it crashed to the floor. I threw it on the pile of debris and glanced around the great room. Alex must have moved on to another room during my maniacal remodeling job. I threw the crowbar on top of the pile and stepped over a few loose boards. The drywall had remained mostly intact. There were a few places where it was shredded through to the insulation. I scanned each section of the drywall until my eyes landed on a slight discoloration next to the window.

  It might’ve been an old leak from the window.

  Or not.

  I ran my hand along the drywall and rather than take the time to pick up the crowbar, I punched through the drywall and it crumbled away easily. My heart sank with how easily the pieces fell away. It had been water damage.

  “Sounds like everything’s cooling off down there?” Alex called from the loft above.

  “Somewhat.”

  As I was turning away from my latest demolition hole, I caught a glimpse of something white out of the corner of my eye. I returned my gaze to the hole and noticed a small piece of paper, not even a quarter-inch, sticking out from the hole.

  I pinched the corner of the paper and began carefully tugging it out of the brittle drywall. My breathing stopped as I slid an envelope out of the hole and held it in my hands. The envelope was sealed and thin. My guess was maybe only a piece of paper was inside, if that. I slowly worked my finger under the flap and ripped it open as carefully as I could. This was the closest I’d gotten to finding any sort of information in a very long time, and I prayed it was helpful because so far nothing had been.

  I pulled out the piece of paper and my pulse quickened. I had no idea what I wanted this paper to say, but when I opened it up and began to read it, I wasn’t prepared for the level of disappointment that flooded through me.

  It was a copy of the original deed to the home, listing the owners before my parents, Dorothy and Clive Bergman. I tossed the paper onto the debris pile and walked through the kitchen I’d demolished in under an hour. I was just spinning my wheels here, wasting time and energy. I tried to temper my anger with each step forward.

  Climbing the ladder to the loft, I stayed on the top step when I spotted Alex working a loose piece of the pine paneling off from the wall.

  “Find something?” I questioned, trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

  “Not sure yet. I thought this piece of the paneling looked a little odd and I was right.” He gave it one final heave and the piece came off in his hands.

  Not seeing anything other tha
n old insulation, he smiled. “You owe me one. If I get bit by a rat…” He stuck his hand into the hole and kept going, until he was in the wall elbow deep. “Voila. Papers of some sort.”

  “Seriously?” I asked. It was probably the Bergman’s tax returns this time.

  Alex carefully worked his hand out of the gaping hole, and in his grip, he held several documents. “Let’s see if anything here does the trick.”

  I jumped up the rest of the way into the loft and took the papers from Alex.

  “Do you know who the Bergman’s are?” Alex asked, seeing the names on the papers. It was hard not to hide my disappointment. Once again, I’d fooled myself into believing there was a chance.

  “The previous owners of the cabin. I found a deed downstairs behind the wall.”

  “Odd they’d hide so much behind walls.”

  I shrugged as I scanned the pages Alex found. It wasn’t until I came to the last page that things started to turn around.

  “You know the other address here in Flagstaff my uncle told me about?”

  “The one we were headed to next? Yeah. What about it?” Alex asked.

  “It seems the Bergmans also owned that home as well.”

  Hannah

  Standing in a long line holding over-priced textbooks wasn’t my idea of a fun time. There was a frenzied excitement in the air as friends got reacquainted after break while others, like myself, quietly waited for the checker to hurry the students through.

  I shifted the books from one hip to the other and shook my free arm, trying to get blood back into my limbs. I missed Luke tremendously and was somewhat surprised I hadn’t heard from him at least once. I understood why, but that didn’t make it any easier. Mitch was sitting on a bench near the cashiers. I’d pleaded with him not to hover and he agreed he’d try to blend in, which was pretty much impossible.

  “Do you want any help with those?” A guy’s voice from behind startled me. I turned around bracing the books with both arms again and shook my head. His bright blue eyes were pretty, and he had the typical blond hair I’d gotten so used to seeing around the beach.

  “Thanks though,” I muttered.

  “I feel silly holding this thirty dollar pamphlet while you’re about to break your arms.”

  I glanced at what he was holding. It was probably no more than ten pages.

  “That’s thirty dollars?” I questioned.

  He nodded. “I decided when I graduate, I’m going to go into the textbook business.”

  “Not a bad idea.” I turned back around and moved up two spaces as the next students in line were served.

  “What’s your major?” he asked.

  I had to smile. He was definitely persistent.

  “Nursing.”

  “Interesting.”

  “What’s interesting?” I asked, still not turning around. I didn’t want to give this guy any mixed messages. Not to mention that Mitch was staring at us both.

  “I’m one myself. I’m in grad school now, but I have a nursing degree.”

  I couldn’t tell if he was kidding or not so I didn’t say anything and was thankful for the interruption from the checker.

  The financial aid funds were in my account, but seeing the total on the register reminded me how expensive this idea was. It was a good thing I wasn’t averse to working if I wanted to come out of college not buried under a mountain of debt.

  The cashier slid over two plastic bags that were packed tight and I slipped the receipt into my pocket.

  “Maybe we’ll run into each other again, sometime,” the guy almost shouted as I walked over to Mitch. I glanced over my shoulder and gave him a half-smile.

  “Making friends so soon,” Mitch laughed, taking both bags and carrying them with one hand.

  “Only being friendly,” I corrected as we left the bookstore. “Did you hear from Luke?”

  “You mean since the last time you asked before you started shopping for your books? No.”

  I laughed. “Sorry.”

  “Well, one thing’s for sure.”

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “Mr. Fletcher won’t have to worry about you falling for someone else while you’re here.”

  “Who says?” I chuckled.

  “You basically cut the poor boy off at his knees and let him bleed out back there…”

  “I did not. I was completely polite and answered all of his questions.”

  “Whatever you say. I just know Mr. Fletcher will be pleased.”

  “No…no…no…no. No telling Mr. Fletcher anything that will get him feeling too comfortable. You may work for him, but you have to hang around me, and I say Mr. Fletcher is a man who needs to be kept on his toes.”

  Mitch responded with a deep laugh and I knew he understood exactly what I was talking about.

  We walked outside and the blazing sunshine immediately warmed my bones. I still hadn’t completely gotten used to the idea that every time I went outside there was blue sky and warm temperatures.

  “I wonder what classes will be like,” I mused.

  “I’m not much for studying so I’m the wrong person to ask,” Mitch said, opening the trunk and placing my bags inside.

  I opened the car door and the blast of heat from inside made it hard to breathe. Mitch crawled in and turned on the air conditioner.

  “When do classes start?” he asked.

  “Tuesday. My first class is at nine o’clock.”

  Mitch shook his head and put the car into reverse as he slowly backed out of the slot. My phone buzzed and excitement pulsed through me. I removed my phone from my purse and was immediately let down. It wasn’t Luke. It was Mia asking if I got all my books.

  I’d be lying if I were to act as if everything was fine. It wasn’t. I had hoped so badly that Luke would reach out to see how things were going or to let me in. If he would only let me in.

  I texted her back as Mitch pulled onto the highway, and we made our way back to the house. I thought back to the campus and the excitement that bustled through the buildings there. Maybe it would be a good diversion. Maybe I did crave normalcy on some level.

  My phone rang and I had to laugh at Mia’s persistence. It wasn’t until I glanced at the screen and saw that it was Luke that my happiness improved greatly.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, babe. Sorry I haven’t called since we got here.”

  Hearing his gravelly voice over the cell literally made me a grinning idiot and poor Mitch had to experience it in a closed car.

  “I’ve missed you,” I told him, staring out the passenger window.

  “Did you go to campus today?” Luke asked.

  “I did. Got all my books.”

  “Are you ready to start classes?” his voice was affectionate.

  “I’m not sure, really. But it’ll probably be a good thing to focus on. I’m in the car with Mitch.”

  “Ah. So that’s why you’re taking it easy on me,” he teased. “I’m really sorry about not calling sooner. We’ve actually found some documents down here that have pointed me in a new direction.”

  I wanted to hear more, but I knew he wouldn’t tell me over the phone.

  “Do you think you’ll be back soon?” I asked.

  “I’m guessing we’ll only be here another day or two, but I’ll call if it’s longer.”

  I knew he was readying to end the call, and I almost couldn’t bear it. I felt like there was so much I wanted to say to him. I wanted to let Luke know that I was meeting with Sam to listen to voice snippets, but I couldn’t take the chance over the cell. Hopefully, when Luke got home, I’d just be able to tell him the good news that we had a lead on the man’s identity.

  “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t,” I told him.

  He laughed and the sound lit up my world. Even over a spotty cell connection he did amazing things to me.

  “The possibilities are endless then,” he laughed. “Alex is inside looking through some items we’ve found. I better go back in a
nd help. I love you and stay safe.”

  “I love you too.”

  I didn’t want to hang up, but my cell call ended and a big knot formed in my chest as I thought about our future. Would we ever be able to move forward, or would we always be battling ghosts from our past?

  I thought about my mom. It had been a long time since I’d visited.

  “Do you think you’d be able to take me to visit my mom?” I looked over at Mitch and saw his expression change. Obviously, my request was going against what Luke would want.

  “I don’t see why not. It would probably be a good idea before you start classes.”

  “Is it gonna get you in trouble?”

  “Nah.”

  I turned my attention to the road ahead of us, and the knot inside tightened. I didn’t understand why I was feeling worse after talking with Luke, but something was feeling off.

  “Would you mind if we made the drive tonight so I could see her early in the morning?” I asked.

  “Sounds reasonable to me.”

  I wondered if Mia would be interested in coming with me. It was a lot to ask, but I wasn’t sure I could face my mom alone. The last time I saw her, I didn’t know what to do or say. We’d never had a close relationship, but I hadn’t expected to react the way I did to seeing her there. I was at a loss and unable to help make things right for her.

  I took a deep breath in and texted Mia. She had just finished painting a series for a client so maybe she had a day or two she could spare.

  Luke

  There was something bothering Hannah. She didn’t sound right on the phone, and it concerned me that I wasn’t there for her. Alex was inside my hotel room, searching through the other papers we’d found, and I had no urge to join him. Instead, I stayed in the hallway for a little longer, daydreaming about a future together with Hannah that might not even be possible. We had no shot if I didn’t get my ass back on track, but I was so tired of the chase. I let out a sigh and slid my phone into my pocket and walked back into my hotel room.