Toxic

by Eve Langlais

  “So what gives, Rafe? Why don’t the angels want to fight against the daemons? I thought that was what you guys did. You know, the whole army of light thing.”

  “It’s not that we’re cowards,” he began.

  I made a buzzing sound. “Wrong answer.”

  He glared at me. “Would you let me speak?”

  I returned his irate stare with a glacial one of my own. “Why? So you can give me a list of excuses?”

  He turned his attention to Lily. “May I have permission to throttle her?”

  Lily’s “Yes, you may,” went almost unheard under my screech of annoyance.

  I jumped up from chair in a move meant to tower over and intimidate Rafe, but he sprang up as well and ended up looking down on me. “I am not afraid,” he said through clenched teeth. “And I want to fight.”

  “Then why don’t you?” I shouted as we glared at each other almost nose to nose.

  “Because, if I join your battle, I’ll be banished from Heaven forever.”

  Well, that kind of took the wind out of my sails, but I had plenty of blustery hot air to take its place. “Then maybe you should reevaluate if Heaven is a place you want to be,” I retorted. Even as I said the words, I wanted to shake my head at myself. Duh, of course, he wants to go back to Heaven. Isn’t that what we all want? To live forever in sunshine and happiness. Except for me of course. Somehow a sunburn for eternity didn’t sound like fun and besides, I’d probably had my membership to Heaven revoked after my first kill.

  “Believe me, I’ve been giving it a lot of thought,” he grumbled sitting back down with a sigh.

  His words stunned me, and a girly part of me that I wanted to choke wondered if perhaps I played a part in his inner battle. Something occurred to me, and with a knitted brow, I asked. “Wait a second. If you’re not allowed to fight the daemons, then why did you come to my rescue? Doesn’t that mean you’re already banished?”

  He shifted with an uncomfortable look and I gaped at him.

  “You didn’t tell them did you?” I accused. “An angel and a liar.” I whirled to Lily. “See! I told you he couldn’t be trusted. He can’t even be honest with his own side.”

  “I couldn’t let you die,” he interjected in an angry tone.

  “So tell your leaders the truth then. Surely, they’ll understand.”

  “In Heaven, things are pretty black and white. Thou shall not kill is a rule we all must follow or face banishment at the very least.”

  “But they’re daemons!” I exclaimed. “Angels are supposed to stand against them. What the fuck?”

  He shook his head. “Our days of combat against the daemonic forces reside in a past my kind would prefer to be forgotten. And as for my actions, I can’t deny hiding the truth. If it were known I’d taken a life, even one as foul as that of a daemon’s, I’d be yanked back to Heaven with no hope of returning to earth, ever.”

  What? Rafe leave forever? The idea didn’t sit well with me. Even if I couldn’t have him, I wanted to at least be able to enjoy the torture of wanting him and seeing him.

  “I don’t intend to tell anyone about what you did. Actually, even better, tell people I saved your ass. I do have a reputation to maintain.”

  Lily’s giggle rang out reminding me that my conversation with Rafe was under observation. “How fabulously entertaining. And while I’d love to discourse some more, one of my servants is calling me. If you would both please excuse me.” Lily, with a grace that women envied, took her leave of us. It didn’t escape me that I was all alone with Rafe in the cavernous receiving chamber, a room which suddenly seemed a lot smaller. I needed space -and time to process what I’d learned.

  “I’m also needed elsewhere,” I said jumping up from my seat and moving towards the door.

  “Wait,” he called.

  I ignored him and left the room.

  “I want to talk to you,” Rafe called after me as I fled up the hall.

  I walked faster in reply until I was almost flying. The jerk moved even faster and I ran into a brick wall that grew hands to steady me.

  I glared up at him even as my body warmed in pleasure at his closeness. “Go away.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Why? Did the big angels in charge order you to watch the slaughter?” I still hadn’t learned the real reason for his kind abstaining from combat, and I didn’t really care. In my world, you’re either with me or against me.

  “No. Actually, I’m supposed to be staying away from you and everyone else involved in the upcoming war.”

  I grimaced as he told me yet more things I didn’t want to hear. “Then why are you here? I mean, seriously, you’re like in the heart of the upcoming chaos.”

  He sighed. “I’m here because I can’t help myself. I can’t stay away.”

  He let go of me and whirled, his hands scrubbing a messy path through his blond hair.

  I wanted to ask what kept him here, but found myself strangely afraid. Suck it up buttercup and stop being a pussy. “Can’t help what?” I knew what I wanted as an answer even if I couldn’t say it aloud.

  Blazing blue eyes turned to meet mine with a stare that sucked the breath from me. Intense and smoldering, the swirling emotions were almost too much to bear. “I can’t help but want you. And I can’t seem to find the strength to stay away.”

  There, he’d said it. The words I wanted. The words I craved. The feelings I shared. The fantasy that could never come true. “You can’t have me. Toxic, remember?” My attempted smile quivered as my emotions fought me, despair in the forefront.

  “We don’t know for sure,” he said as he grabbed me about the waist and pulled me into his hard body. I allowed myself to enjoy the feel of him against me, the fleeting brush of his lips across my temple, the gentleness he offered and I’d long ago forgotten in my determined pursuit of blood and power.

  The ruthless Elizabeth, the woman known and feared as the Blood Countess, would have taken what he offered and said screw the consequences, even should they end up deadly.

  The new Ellie, the one who’d discovered her heart hadn’t died with her humanity, cried; the fat and hot tears rolling down my cheeks. He stroked the liquid with the pad of his thumb and even through my bleary vision-and shame at my emotional state-I could see the pain on his face.

  I hated this visual display of my weakness. I also hated that I couldn’t convince him to stay away-far away where temptation wouldn’t work against us. So, I did the only thing I could. Under the guise of bitchiness-which I used to mask my protection of the first man I’d ever truly loved-I gave him the one ultimatum I knew he wouldn’t honor. The one thing I could use against him in order to save him.

  “Toxic or not, I still can’t be with a man who won’t stand beside me as I fight darkness.” I flung the words at him like an accusation, my tone dripping with disdain.

  “I’ve told you why I can’t.”

  I pushed from his warm embrace, my body shivering in cold-a frigid sensation that spread from my shrinking heart. “If you truly cared for me, you’d protect me and fight by my side.”

  His face tightened with anger. “You would have me blatantly break my vows? Give up everything I’ve ever known. And you, what would you give in return?”

  The words tumbled from my lips, unbidden and shocking. “I’d give you my heart.”

  His eyes widened in surprise, but before he could reply, I fled, drawing shadows around me to hide. I ran blindly, the tears washing down my face in waves, in partnership with the wrenching pain in my heart. A stabbing agony that made me gasp as I heard him call me, his voice anguished and pleading.

  I ignored his call and shoved my surprising emotional reaction back into the locked room of my mind-the walled fortress where I’d banished my humanity and feelings. Calmness restored, if taut with tension, I weaved the hidden paths of the castle to a place known only to myself.

  But hiding from the angel who made me want to care was easy. Hiding from myself and my misery pro
ved a lot harder.

  Chapter Ten

  I managed to avoid Rafe the rest of the night, not as easy as it sounded considering everywhere I went my human staff, with wide eyes, told me about the blond giant looking for me. The vamps knew better than to say anything, but I could see the mirth in their eyes, a laughter I quickly dispelled with my scowls and barked commands.

  I wrapped up my affairs and left marching orders with my subordinates. I wasn’t needed here in person. The age of technology made me capable of doing my job from anywhere in the world. So I flew back home to hide. Not the estate I’d commandeered for the human announcement, but my true home hidden in the heart of Hungary and far from prying eyes-and one sexy angel.

  But even while hiding and nursing a broken heart-with lots of blood and vodka-I worked hard. Reports were piling in at an alarming rate as daemon sightings increased. The addition of the shifters to our ranks meant I had enough squads to take care of the problem, but only if the daemons kept appearing in single digits.

  Even worse than the snowballing daemonic events, though, was the fact the human press had caught on to the murderous sprees. As I’d warned, the vampires were immediately blamed for the surge in torn apart bodies being discovered and the high numbers of humans going missing.

  The queen, in an attempt to placate the humans, finally issued a press statement via video from the safety of her hidden castle. I watched it on CNN and shook my head, the cynic in me already anticipating the result.

  Lily looked sweet and innocent as she faced the camera squarely. “…most definitely not responsible for the heinous murders being committed. The culprits are true monsters. Actually, the correct term would be daemons. My new friends, it is my grievous task to inform you that our world is being invaded…”

  I listened to the rest of her prepared speech where-too late-she announced the coming threat. I then waited for the backlash which occurred three seconds after her taped broadcast ended.

  The news anchor with a grave look of disapproval began his attack with, “This is what you get when you allow monsters to roam freely in our society: death and mayhem. The vampires would like us to believe it is some new force at work with these killings. I say we need look no further than the monsters who feed us this lie to hide their actions…”

  In a bitchy mood, I fired off an email to my queen with just three words. Told you so.

  My victory, however, didn’t make me happy, not when the stakes were so high. I wished the humans would have reacted like my queen wanted. But she’d vastly underestimated mankind and their intolerances.

  I’d expected this, though, and already had the vamps who’d come out since my announcement evacuating their premises as we waited for the furor to die down. I wouldn’t risk lives with hope the humans would try and resolve this peacefully. It wasn’t a kind and caring gesture on my part. The more vamps available for my use in the coming battle, the better my odds of surviving.

  I spent a week in my web, a big mama spider with spying tendrils spinning out in all directions, snaring all kinds of invaluable information. I learned a lot, such as the fact time was running out. But inaction and desk sitting never sat well with me, and with a lot of pent up frustration-an annoying amount caused by Rafe-I jumped at the chance to get out and kill something. More specifically, some daemons.

  The nasty bastards mistakenly invaded the town I considered under my personal protection. A mistake they would pay for.

  I armed myself with silver daggers in thigh sheaths before setting out with my personal guard. Eight huge vampires I’d created myself and who owed their allegiance to me and me alone. I’d also trained them myself and knew they were capable of taking on anything I threw at them. I’d need the muscle because lucky me, the raids on my town showed evidence of daemons teaming up; a pair at the least, possibly even three.

  I looked forward to testing my strength, and that of my guard, against them and seeing if all our training would pay off.

  Like wraiths of death, I cloaked us in shadows and we crept through the town, waiting for the telltale stench of the foul ones.

  Hours passed without a sign, and I’d just about decided to move outward from the town to the surrounding forest when the panicked screams rang in my mind. And my heart went deathly still.

  “They’re in the castle.” I barked at my men to hurry as I ran swifter than any known creature back to my castle. I could sense the fear and pain in my human blood servants as the daemons hunted them down and cut a swathe through their ranks. I also shared that intimate connection with the vampires I’d created and bound to me. Through my link with them, I experienced their rage and shock as they fought for their lives-to no avail.

  So quickly did I move that I lost my guard, but I cared not. Blinded by my anger, only one thought prevailed-make the bastards who’d dared invade my home pay.

  I screamed in rage when I felt Annabelle’s fragile flame of life snuff out. My fury pulsed in me, an almost visible power. I stalked into my own castle courtyard, noting with dispassionate eyes the strewn bloody corpses.

  “Come out, come out, wherever you are,” I sang as I stood in the middle of my chosen battlefield-a graveyard of faces I’d once known. I raised my arms to the sky and threw my head back as I pulled on the power that coiled in me, my voice booming. “Come and meet your death you bastards.”

  I sensed more than heard the thumps as several large bodies hit the ground, surrounding me. I counted an appalling eight daemons, a number to make even the most stalwart shiver. But I refused to give in to fear. And I would have my revenge, bad odds or not.

  Facing me was a brute with rust colored skin. It leered at me with jagged teeth. “Sooo… this is the female who thinks to stop us.” His sibilant words slid across my ears discordantly.

  However, he’d said something I found interesting. “Heard of me have you? Then you should know, I am a woman of my word.” I bared my own teeth at him.

  The foul beast chuckled, a sound accompanied by the thuds of approaching footsteps. My men had finally caught up. Time to make them pay.

  “Take care of her guards,” hissed the leader. “I want the woman for myself.” The daemon made an obscene thrust in my direction with its groin where a stubby erection poked forth.

  I laughed. “You’ll need a bigger sword than that if you think you’re going to tame me.”

  My taunting words made him roar, and I smiled even as I flashed him my middle finger. He probably didn’t understand the gesture, but I quite enjoyed it. As the sounds of my guard clashing with the daemons rose to flavor the night sky, I dove at the red skinned leader. Sour or not, I’d taste his blood.

  The wily bastard met my charge, barely budging as he braced his cloven feet. I hit him hard then ducked away, evading its slashing claws. Thus did we dance, our music the scuffing of shuffling feet, the thumps of landing fists and the grunts of pain and exertion. I added my own deadly notes to the cacophony of sound with the whistling sound of my blades. The lead daemon proved fast, but I moved even faster. My silver daggers arced and flashed as they caught the feeble light from the moon. Each thrust leaving an oozing line on the beast’s skin. My pointed kicks driving the breath from it. My exhilarated laughter, tinged with a madness I’d succumbed to a long time ago, sending the daemon stumbling back, its eyes widening as I stalked him.

  “How dare you touch what’s mine,” I growled, the power I’d absorbed over the centuries pulsing inside me.

  The leader licked its blackened lips and skipped back out of my reach. “You are strong for a female. Instead of fighting us, you should join us. We could use some strong females to birth the next generation to inherit this place you call Earth.”

  I gaped at the creature, stunned at its offer. “Like fuck. I’d rather die than allow your kind to touch me.”

  The daemon stopped retreating and grinned with all his pointed teeth. “Then consider your wish granted.”

  Too late did I notice that not only had the battlefield grown sil
ent, but the link to my guards was severed, their deaths at the hands of the daemons leaving me alone with-I counted-the leader and three more to take on still.

  They closed in, but I refused to let fear shake me even as I knew the end approached. Since my turning, I hated letting others make my decisions for me even when it came to my imminent demise. I dove sideways and went to greet death on my terms-fighting like a rabid bitch to the end.

  I moved in a blur, tugging on my innate power to enhance my strength and thus increase the ferocity of my blows. I managed to take one, two, down, but even with my speed, I couldn’t hope to prevail against them all.

  I slowed, my adrenaline ebbing as my power, sucked dry, sputtered and died. I now keenly felt each blow, kick and slash. I hit the ground hard on my knees, wavering as I struggled to remain conscious. My vision blurred and pain, that unforgiving mistress, gripped me, but I refused to cry out. I wouldn’t beg for mercy even as I fell flat on my face.

  And then night turned to day, or so it seemed as a brilliant light enveloped the courtyard, and with my eyes squinting at the illumination, the blows raining upon me stopped. I sucked in a breath-bad mistake because it fucking hurt-and struggled to sit up. I failed miserably, but I did manage to roll over. I blinked my eyes, then blinked again.

  I’d heard of avenging angels, but hearing and seeing? Two totally different things, especially when the really pissed angel was fighting for you. Like some kind of guardian angel, Rafe had arrived in all his glory-and damned if I wasn’t glad to see him.

  His snowy white wings, which should have proven impractical, actually gave him an advantage as he leapt up into the air and then plummeted down behind the remaining daemons. He wielded as sword of pure white light-bright enough to make my eyes water-like he’d been born with it. Each move he made, deadly in its efficiency. His face was a grim mask of anger and his eyes blazed with blue light. Even injured, I couldn’t help the jolt of longing-the surge of love.