Mistakes of My Past

by Emily James

  “What's up, beautiful?”

  “I still haven’t heard from Roxy. It’s not like her to not answer my texts. Do you think she's giving us space, now we're, um…?”

  “Now that you're my woman, you mean?” I wink. We're both working out what to call each other, but I just love the way it feels when I say it.

  Amber giggles. “I think we're going to have to work on our phrasing, how about partner?”

  “How about lover?” I waggle my eyebrows which causes her to snigger. And, then she frowns down at her phone.

  “Shall I swing by her place on the way home?” I ask her.

  Amber flips her cover of her cell across and puts it back in her jacket pocket. She considers this for a moment and then shakes her head. “No, it’s okay. Maybe she’s at the gym. I just wanted to tell her that I’m finally making a start on working everything out,” she says.

  “Everything is going to work out just fine, babe,” I reassure her.

  Chapter 26

  Amber

  “Are you sure she said it’s okay?” I ask Cody.

  Butterflies create a tornado in my belly, tonight will be the night.

  “Yep, Mrs Stevens said one extra night makes no difference at all. She said she just likes seeing Will so happy and he can just pick me up when he gets back in town after work.”

  I finish applying my mascara and re-check my phone, still no word from Roxy. I decide tomorrow I’m heading over there.

  “How do I look?” I don’t say, for a girl that’s getting it on tonight, that would be inappropriate.

  “Beautiful; Will won’t know what’s hit him!”

  I look in the full-length mirror in my bedroom. I decided on a navy low cut dress so that I could wear the negligee I’d brought on a whim. Underneath that is a matching satin bra and knickers.

  I feel sexy and I wonder if now I'm facing up to things, it's a confidence that comes from within. I decide it must be both; the tangible connection of a fresh start, and a hot and caring man.

  The naughty thoughts I’ve been harbouring for Will since, well, if I’m honest, since the start, are hitting a climax. Now that there are no secrets between us, I’m more than ready for a happy ending.

  I take another sip of the Pinot I poured before I started getting ready, just a small glass to settle my nerves.

  “I’ll come over after school tomorrow, check on how your date went. Now did you mash the potatoes like I said?” Cody has her mother hen head on and wants to know I’ve completed Will’s favourite meal properly.

  “Yes, it just needs a little reheating when he gets here, which should be soon.”

  * * *

  “Y’all here? I got a message from Cody to come straight over.” Will hollers up the stairs.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Cody gives me a cheeky smile and rushes out of the bedroom door and down the stairs.

  I slick some pale pink gloss over my lips and head down the stairs. The kitchen is empty apart from Flo who cocks her head and then snuggles back down for some more sleep.

  Will must have walked Cody across the street to Megan’s, so I add the final preparations to dinner by slicing the chicken and taking out two plates while the potatoes reheat, careful not to splash my dress, and all the while cursing the steam for dampening my face.

  “Do you need a hand with that?” Will surprises me by wrapping his arms around my waist and laying his head on my shoulder. He says, “You look beautiful, by the way.”

  “Thank you. There’s wine on the counter if you want to pour us both a glass?”

  Will kisses the curve of my neck and shivers run down my spine as I plate up the food. When I turn around, Will is lighting some candles he’s set on the island.

  He catches me staring and smiles. “I never had a candle lit dinner before, is this okay?” He looks bashful, nervous like I am.

  “I’d like that.” I smile encouragingly. We both know where tonight is leading. The anticipation is an electrical current on my skin.

  Will switches off the overhead light, and I put our meals in between the cutlery that Will has set out. I sit opposite Will and the reflection of the candle light burning reflects in his eyes.

  “This looks delicious,” Will tells me, his eye contact never leaving mine.

  “Thank you. You look pretty tasty yourself,” I say and then my mind catches up that he was talking about the food. I shake my head of my unclean thoughts.

  The meal passes with only light tension. Will asks me a whole host of questions all based on my favourites, foods, movies, colours, dogs or cats, cars or bikes, planes or trains; he talks about school, ambitions and makes me giggle when he says he’d like to learn to speak English, like me.

  “I like the way you talk, it’s all sexy and gruff. Like this y’all.” I do a rubbish deep voiced impersonation of him as we put away the last of the dishes.

  “Sexy?” Will grins mischievously as he wraps his arms around me and laughs as I giggle and squirm. “Tell me what else a hot British girl like you, finds sexy about this oversized, American fool?” The humour in his eyes is replaced by an intense gaze.

  “The hair, definitely the hair,” I say and I run my fingers through it. Like silk, it slides perfectly back into place. “The muscles,” I squeeze the hard curve of his biceps. “And definitely those lips,” I lick my own suddenly dry lips, “They have just the right amount of…”

  Will’s lips crash down on mine, his strong arms lift me up and I wrap my legs around his waist as my back nudges against the wall where his kiss pins me. The taste of the wine on his lips is intoxicating.

  My hands grip his broad shoulders, my fingers dig into him, wanting more. He smiles wickedly and continues his kiss, moving me through the kitchen, and into the lounge. We collapse on the sofa, panting and desperate. The weight of Will’s body on mine deepens the urgency and my core heats as I feel his need pressing against me.

  I unbutton his shirt and run my hands over his hard chest, his skin is taught and smooth with only a fine smattering of hair below his navel leading down to his… I reach down eagerly to undo the button of his jeans. Wills hand dips low as he catches my hands in his. He breaks our kiss and searches my eyes.

  “Are you sure?” He asks me.

  I’m panting as I tell him, unequivocally, “Never more certain.”

  It’s all the encouragement he needs as my dress lifts over my head in what can only be described as an act of sorcery. I feel my skin flush as Will leans back on his knees, and takes the lace edging of my negligee in between his index finger and thumb. I suddenly feel vulnerable and exposed as I scan his face.

  “Fuck, are you trying to kill me? So hot, but it’s got to go.” Will bites at his lip, torn with his decision and slowly lifts the material over my head. The sensation of the satin sliding up my skin gives me goose bumps. I raise my arms and close my eyes, as the material falls away. Will’s face moves closer. My hand strokes his rugged jaw line, which is only slightly illuminated by the light cast from the kitchen and his eyes burn with lust as they roam across my body.

  “You’re beautiful,” he murmurs as his fingers slide the strap of my bra down, over my shoulder. “I’m not sure how I got to be so lucky, but I promise you I'm going to worship you.”

  My bra is unclasped and I lift my bottom as Will slides my underwear down and away. His touch torments my body into a state of desperation. His kisses tantalise my senses as he pays aching attention to each of my breasts, and then his fingers glide in a downwards path and stroke my arousal. My eyes close as I thrash and moan until I come undone, shamefully quickly.

  “That is definitely my new favourite,” I breathlessly say.

  Will’s jeans are suddenly off and he lowers his weight back down on me. I open my thighs to invite him in, eager for more. He puts on a condom and enters me slowly, his hardness deliciously stretching me. He moves slowly at first, his eyes heavy and lustful as he lays kisses all over my body. Will’s rhythmic thrusts stir an aching dee
p inside me as his pace quickens. I cry out, beg and gasp nonsensical pleads of, “Yes, please, don’t stop,” as I learn the meaning of not knowing if one is coming or going.

  It’s too much, his torrent on my body as his friction sends shivers and spasms up through my core. Will lets out a deep and throaty groan as he shudders inside me. He continues to rock inside me long after the after-quakes pass.

  We hold each other tightly, until our breathing evens. My fingers cling to Will, anchoring me, preventing me from floating away.

  “I knew you’d be perfect, but I wasn’t prepared for spectacular.”

  “I love you,” I tell him.

  “Are you sure it’s not the post orgasm euphoria talking?”

  “Maybe,” I grin. “Perhaps we should try again and see.”

  Will laugh’s as he idly plays with my hair. “Bullshit, you love me.” Will pauses from wrapping a strand of my hair around his finger and gazes at me with a serene look on his face.

  My heart grows with the warmth in his smile.

  “I do love you, Will. I love everything about you. You make me feel like I have something worth fighting for.”

  Will strokes my hair, his face has a sexy edge to it and I eagerly arch my body to get access to his mouth. It’s going to be a long, beautiful night.

  Chapter 27

  Will

  Amber’s hair is splayed wildly across her pillow as she makes light snuffling sounds as she sleeps.

  I toy with getting back in the bed and forgetting work for the day. My responsibilities win out and I heave up my jeans and leave Amber asleep in her bed.

  Before I go I place a note on her nightstand:

  Best. Night. Ever.

  Leaving you is the most difficult thing I’ve done in forever, but I’ll be back soon.

  I love you.

  Yours Will. XX

  Chapter 28

  Amber

  Flo’s barking wakes me up with a start.

  My eyes scan the cute note Will left and I carefully fold it and put it in my underwear drawer. Maybe I’ll start a scrapbook of happy memories.

  I take my phone off charge and stuff it into the pocket of my dressing gown, before padding downstairs to go and see what’s got Flo so worked up. She’s skittish as she runs to me, then to the backdoor and back to me again. I decide she’s probably just desperate to do her business, so I open the door to let her out.

  Poor thing pees, then runs around the yard barking, before settling at the main house.

  “Flo, come back in,” I call and put the kettle on to boil. I’m still wearing my negligee under my robe and it gives me a thrill to think of the reaction it evoked last night. I sigh, remembering how great it was. Nothing is spoiling my good mood today, not even a cranky George after a late night at the bar.

  The clock in the kitchen chimes, reminding me that I have one hour to get ready for work and nine hours until I see Will again. Suddenly a day seems too long to wait, so I text Will before I head up to get changed for work.

  Flo finally comes inside and whimpers as she spots me in my work clothes.

  “I’m sorry, Flo, I hate leaving you alone all day,” I tell her and throw a treat onto her bed before I lock the door behind me.

  Outside, the wind violently whips my hair around my face, and the hood of my coat flaps as I pull it over my head in a wasted attempt to keep the mane tame.

  I leap into the seat of the car, fumbling for my keys, and start the engine, willing it to warm up fast.

  There’s some kind of packaging paper caught under my wiper blade and I wonder how the hell it got there. Rain starts to pelt the windscreen, so I switch on the wiper hoping to dislodge it. Instead, it leaves a blood-red smear in an arc across the windscreen. Frustrated, I get back out of the car to remove the paper. I recognise it straight away. It’s the delivery note that came with the windows. But, on the back, written in smudged red lipstick, it reads:

  To my lovely Amber,

  Meet me in the main house. Roxy. XXX

  I’m more than a little surprised that there’s no bad language on the note, and that Roxy put kisses at the end. She’s not usually an openly affectionate sort of girl. It takes her a lot of effort to outwardly show warmth.

  The newly painted main house looks dull and grey as if the stormy sky has somehow infiltrated the crisp white paint. I look back longingly at the warming car and then at my watch. Roxy’s timing is terrible.

  I’m going to be late for work if I don’t make this visit quick so I leave the car running, fold the note into my back pocket, and I jog across to the main house.

  Whatever she’s doing in there is beyond me.

  Thankfully, Roxy has left the door ajar, and I’m glad I don’t have to go back to hunt for my key. But on closer inspection, it isn’t unlocked, the locking mechanism is creased and bent up, sharp metal edges point in every direction and the handle lies at a crooked angle on the floor. It surprises me because I remember the glaziers locking the door and handing Will and me a key.

  Anxiety simmers in my belly as I push the door open and the room is dankly illuminated.

  “Hello.” My voice echos around the vast, empty space of what will soon be Dad’s new kitchen.

  There’s no reply, so I take a few more steps and call out again.

  “Roxy, don’t play around, I’ve got to get to work,” I call out, cautiously stepping past some debris left over by the glaziers.

  I reach the doorway that leads into the older part of the house and pause.

  I take the note from my pocket and study it like it has the answers.

  “Well, hello, stranger. You look better than you did the last time I saw you, but, then you were fucked up crazy.” Every syllable is pronounced in harsh, stilted tones, as my tormentor greets me.

  My anxiety flips to a fast boil and my flight instincts flare.

  “T-Tommy, what are you doing here?” I try to steady my voice but old worries strangle my resolve. He’s wearing the same worn leather jacket I despise and even though he’s not standing close, the smell of the leather brings back unwelcome memories. Under his harsh glare, I continue, “You’re supposed to be in England.” Old insecurities resurface, pulling me back into darkness. A thought jars me from the abyss. “Where's Roxy?” My voice is biting, if he’s hurt her I’ll…

  “Why don’t you come with me and see.” His smug voice is too familiar.

  Tommy has a cut just above his eyebrow. A small amount of blood oozes down the side of his face, its direction changing as he continues to spit his words at me.

  “Roxy’s not in great shape. Where have you been, Amber? Your friend has needed you. Oh, that’s right—you’ve been screwing your builder boyfriend.” His voice hardens, and he takes out a gun from the waist of his skinny jeans. “That was not cool, Amber.” Tommy throws me a furious glare and moves aside, leaning on the doorway. “Ladies first, though it’s a loose description of the word.” He nudges the gun to direct me further into the house. “You might want to get your fat ass in gear, Amber. Roxy is bleeding pretty heavily.”

  I walk forward, my knees buckle, but I manage to stay upright. At the end of the hall, I can either turn left toward the staircase and dining room or right into the lounge. I look back at Tommy for instruction.

  “In here.” He nods his head to the right.

  The door is ajar, and the sight of Roxy, trussed to a chair sends my senses into overdrive. I run to her and cry, “Roxy, oh my God, are you okay? What has he done to you?” The words spew from my lips. My sense of responsibility weighs heavy, as tears spill from my eyes.

  Roxy’s mouth is gagged and her forearms are duct taped together. The soft skin of her wrists is exposed and blood coats the tape securing them to her thighs. There’s blood on her face too, but since I can't see a cut, I’m not sure it’s hers.

  She must have put up a fight.

  I work to remove the gag. Roxy’s eyes widen and she nods her head behind me. A thump to the back of my head shakes
my brain against my skull and I yelp out in pain as my body hits the hardwood floor.

  “Did I say you could remove the gag? No, I didn't. Go and sit over there, before I blow both your brains out.”

  I rise and walk unsteadily to the wooden chair that Tommy points at.

  “I gave you everything. Why are you doing this?” I demand.

  He moves in front of my face as I sit on the chair.

  “You fucking gave me nothing, Amber.” His eyes bulge as he yells and I sit further back and angle my head away from him.

  Tommy moves backwards and pulls the gag from Roxy’s mouth. “Why don’t you explain, love.” He orders using the sickeningly sarcastic tone I remember so well.

  “I’m sorry, Amber. I was trying to help. I asked my dad for some money to get him out of your house and out of your life. I searched online for a company of heavies to go board your mom’s place up. They advertised no nonsense removals of vermin.” She eyes Tommy, daring him to lash out.

  My eyes plead with her not to antagonise him. She doesn’t fully know what he is capable of.

  “I didn’t think you’d ever get rid of him and this scumbag would be in your life forever.”

  Tommy’s patience runs out and he punches Roxy in the back of her head. I jump out of the chair to stop him, but he angles the gun at her face.

  I pause.

  “Can you imagine it, Amber? I came home from work and couldn’t get in my fucking house. There was security there, meatheads with dogs. And then yesterday, fucking yesterday, your cards where declined, all of them! Tell me you didn’t cancel the bank cards, Amber, because that would be a fucking stupid move for you to make.”

  Tommy glares at me, and I realise why he’s here.

  He’s here to kill me.