Make Me Whole
Page 10
Galen winced. That stung, deserved or not.
Galen studied Nick’s face. He couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or defensive. An even scarier notion was not knowing if the compulsion to see those statues whole had grabbed a hold of Nick harder than they had Galen. Or maybe he was wrong, and Nick just didn’t give a damn anymore. His heart sank, and he stood up to help, trying to hide how much that last thought bothered him.
“It wouldn’t hurt to at least try to draw Dexios out,” Galen said. “He might have all the answers we need. I suggest we try talking to him first before we make any other decisions. Agreed?”
“Sounds like a good idea.” Nick slipped the last carton in the bag, opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, and paused. The lines of defensive wariness around Nick’s mouth had Galen wanting to make him smile and see the flash of dimples instead.
“What’s up?” Galen prodded and took a step closer to him. As much as Nick accused him of holding back, of hiding, he wondered if Nick reacted that way because of what he saw in himself. There were wounds in him, old ones that he hadn’t noticed before because he’d been too wrapped up in his own hurts. “Talk to me.”
“I want to see this through to the end because I need to have those statues completed. I’ve made this Collection the focus of my entire life. It’s why I wanted to study art history. It’s why I let my brother take over the family business even though my dad had pushed me to do it. Ever since Dad told me about my uncle and the legend, it’s fired my imagination.”
Galen frowned and tried to read between Nick’s words. There was more to this that he wasn’t saying. He had the impression the statues were vitally important to Nick for reasons he kept to himself. He waited until he realized Nick wasn’t going to add anything more.
“I know a little bit of how you’re feeling if not the extent. I didn’t even know that the statues existed until they showed up in my storeroom.”
Galen turned away, assailed by a riot of conflicting emotion. The last person who had been able to get to him like this on such an instinctive level was Bryan. He didn’t know if he was ready for this. He’d thought he was when he’d called Nick. It had been two years. What if he wasn’t ready for the give and take, the compromise, and the work it took to be in a relationship again?
“So what you’re trying to say is you want me to fuck him.” Galen looked over his shoulder at Nick. “Any means necessary, right?”
Nick winced and ran a hand through his hair, leaving it in a mess of tufts. It gave Galen the urge to touch it as well, to calm them down. “Yesterday, I would’ve said yes.”
Galen’s heart skipped a beat, and he turned around again to face him. Did he still care? Any urge to run and put distance between himself and this aching vulnerability disappeared under the need to know. “What about tonight?”
Nick looked at him, a helpless expression in his gaze. “Tonight, I say you do what you need to do. Yesterday, I would’ve pushed for it. I would’ve made cruel comments about your past. I would’ve said things I didn’t mean, that I would’ve hated myself for, and I still would’ve sacrificed you if it solved the puzzle.” Nick shrugged with a rueful twist to his lips. “Then you showed up last night and opened yourself up to me in a way I had always wished for. And you dropped the crazy notion of a date on me—”
“Dates,” Galen cut in and took Nick’s hand in his. “I’m telling you right now, if you agree, I’m not going to be content with one date.”
“Okay, dates.” He took a step closer, and Galen’s heart jumped again. He’d taken the time to change into more casual clothes before coming over tonight. Galen liked the way the worn denim clung to his thighs and how the black T-shirt stretched across his shoulders. The casual look suited him; Galen found it more exciting than the suits Nick tried to wear. “I need to know one more thing before I go against common sense and agree to that.”
“Common sense is boring. Let a little more of Nick the traveler and wreck diver out, and tell the good angel on your shoulder to go screw himself.”
Nick chuckled and untangled their fingers to cup Galen’s jaw. “Screw the risks; is that your new philosophy? I bet you’ve taken that fire pole down a few times, haven’t you?”
“More than a few, much to some people’s horror.” Galen couldn’t concentrate on risks though, not when Nick’s mouth was so close and anticipation made him long for even more contact than just his hand. He closed the distance between them, pressed his body against Nick’s, and slid his arms around him. “So, what was it you needed to know?”
Nick’s gaze dropped down to Galen’s lips, and the tension between them stretched even more taut than before. Why had he ever thought that burying himself away was better than this feeling right now, the expectation, the warmth, and the emergence of emotions so acute they were almost painful?
“I need to know if we’ve still got it. I stayed awake half the night wondering.” And before Galen could respond, Nick’s lips met his own, gentle and coaxing. The ache inside of him swelled, expanding almost to the point of pain. Galen clutched the back of Nick’s soft T-shirt and held him close as he kissed back.
This was much sweeter than their past kisses. This was the way Nick had tried to kiss him a few times in the middle of the night when they had lain naked in each other’s arms. And this had always been when Galen had realized it was time to go home. Nick’s mouth moved over his with a tender pressure, making Galen crave more contact just like this.
Nick’s lips urged Galen’s apart, and his tongue swept in, bringing a hot rush of desire with it. Galen groaned and unclenched his hands to hold him closer. How could he have forgotten how much Nick could turn him on? It had never taken much—a touch, a glint in his eye, a brush of his lips, and Galen was filled with thoughts of finding the nearest bed so he could strip them both bare and let him fulfill all those promises.
Galen’s breath quickened as the kiss deepened. The coaxing sweetness disappeared when their tongues tangled and the heat rose. The couch, it couldn’t be too far away. As the thought flitted through his mind, the kiss ended, leaving Galen’s head spinning and his body wanting more. That had been better than he remembered.
“Well that answers that question,” Nick murmured, still holding him close.
Galen grinned and pressed another kiss to Nick’s lips. Nick was willing to give him another chance. He hadn’t been certain even though Nick had agreed to a date. The kiss eased his mind because there was no way Nick would’ve kissed him like that unless he had made up his mind to try again.
“Did you have any doubts? Wanting you was never the problem.”
Nick shook his head and stepped back. “Come on, let’s go see Dexios.”
Galen gestured toward the rest of the food they hadn’t touched. The sun had set completely, and Seattle had come alive with lights. Whether it was a clear night, like tonight, or a rainy night that made the lights seem wreathed in a watery nimbus, the view was always spectacular up here. He couldn’t think of a better place and time to show Nick that he meant what he said.
“Why don’t we have that first date now? Dexios has waited a long time. He can wait a little longer.”
“Are you sure this is what you want? You know how I felt about you.”
How he felt. Galen considered that along with his next words. He wanted to reassure Nick, to give him those little white lies that lovers said to each other to keep that air of romance. He sensed that Nick would recognize and reject anything that wasn’t as completely honest as he had been before.
“A hundred percent? No. Life is unsure. I like the way you make me feel, Nick. That’s what I know. And I know that right now I’m in a place where I want more than a warm body next to me. I want you, and I’m willing to work for a chance with you again.”
At first Nick didn’t say anything, and then he gestured toward the table. “Fair enough. Let’s finish dinner, but this is not our first date. This is business. If you want a date, take me out on a r
eal one. Not a meal in your office that I brought, where we’re going to be talking about the Collection.”
“Understood.” Galen pulled out Nick’s chair. “How about Saturday?” Neither of them had to work on Sunday, so they could be out as late as they wanted. Galen figured he’d need a full-on campaign to win Nick back; might as well start off strong. He’d never had to woo anybody before, and he found himself looking forward to romancing Nick.
“Saturday?” Wary suspicion flickered in Nick’s eyes, and then he spread his hands and the expression vanished. “Why not? I’m all yours.”
Not yet, and that was his own fault. However, Galen’s thoughts already churned with plans to change that.
GALEN led Nick through to the museum proper, turning on lights as he went. “You have a lot of space,” Nick said, glancing up at the tall ceilings with their exposed beams and skylights. He peeked into the wide room that contained the combined gallery for local gay artists and the gift shop. Galen wanted more artists to showcase than the ones they already had, yet he knew that it was a slow, patient progress. They were still continuing to grow. “How much work did you have to put into remodeling?”
“More than I want to remember. This place was a mess when I bought it.”
“I like how you left it so open.” Nick pointed to where the wall ended halfway up between the workshop and gallery so that the rooms were open to the roof.
“Yeah, with all the skylights I didn’t want walls going all the way up. I left it the same way on the museum side too.” Galen paused as they headed out of the gallery and pointed out Knox’s charcoal rendering of a man sitting cross-legged by a pond. “That’s one of the kids who uses the workshop. I gutted the inside and divided it in half. The front half is the workshop and gallery, the back half we split into three rooms for the museum. When we opened, we only had one exhibit.”
“Nice. It really works that way. Are you using all the space now?” Nick asked as they moved down the corridor to the back half of the building.
“Nope, we still have an untouched room for a third exhibit.” Galen flipped on the lights to the first exhibit room. Framed and matted photographs lined the walls and spiraled inward on tall stands that led to a central area with comfortable chairs to encourage conversation. “This exhibit is all about expressions of love, and it was our first.”
Nick walked down alongside the wall, his arms crossed as he studied the photographs. “I should’ve come to check this out before. I’d heard of it around town and from you. I didn’t really picture it, though. This is amazing.”
He paused in front of a picture of an older gay couple. Their linked hands were liver spotted, their hair wispy, and yet their eyes were still bright as they looked at each other. There was an unspoken lifetime in that glance.
Galen loved that picture too. He wanted that for himself one day. To find the person that he could grow old with and still be in love with forty years later.
“Thanks. The new exhibit with the Dexios Collection is much more erotic. I’m impatient to get all the pieces into place so I can see it instead of staring at the layout on paper and imagining it.”
Nick continued on through, his thumbs hooked through his jean belt loops. “Do you know what you’re going to do with the third room yet?” Nick looked over his shoulder to where Galen lounged against the opening to the exhibit.
“Not yet. We’re taking it one exhibit at a time. To be honest, I was worried at the beginning that we would tank. I wasn't sure we’d be able to fill the place up with enough art, much less get people to pay to see and to buy from the gallery. I should’ve had more faith.”
He watched Nick with his closed stance and the way he kept steering the conversation into safe territory ever since they sat down to finish dinner and realized he was making small talk, backpedaling from the emotions and realizations unleashed with that one kiss. And Galen was letting him. He needed to figure out what he wanted out of this relationship and fast before it led to the sex they both knew was coming. It was time to regroup, think things over before they had their date. Because no matter what happened, there were going to be consequences.
Nick turned back toward him and gestured toward the hallway. “Well, let’s see if we can lure Dexios out.”
They paused in the doorway to the new exhibit. Galen reached over to flip the light switch and hesitated. The lights seemed too harsh and glaring with all the moonlight flooding through the skylights and high windows. It was still almost full, just starting to wane, so there was more than enough light to see by.
Nick stepped over to the first statue, touching his shoulder in a gesture curiously reminiscent of the one Galen used that strange night. “It seems almost magical, there’s a feeling in the air,” Nick murmured.
“Yeah. It caught me up in its spell even before I got the crates open and saw them.” Galen moved over to the second statue to see if the compulsion would come again with Nick there to witness it. His eyes slid over Dexios’s naked body, the muscles tense with desire, and it struck him in the gut hard and fast. A presence came awake in his mind, made his heart flip, and Galen shoved it away.
He touched Dexios’s chest, and his hand slid down to the statue’s taut stomach. He couldn’t help picturing Nick there instead, cock straining, waiting for Galen to take him into his mouth. He shuddered with a soft groan, and then Nick was there, taking him by the elbow and turning him away from the statue, muting the spell it wove.
“Are you okay?”
Galen met Nick’s worried eyes and nodded, torn now between turning around and kneeling in front of Dexios, and wrapping his arms around Nick and kissing him until he forgot all about the statues and lost his wariness toward Galen.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Remember the compulsion I told you about?” Galen clutched Nick’s biceps, trying to drown out the siren song of the statue behind him and struggling to hold down that part of him that wanted to wake up and answer the call. Nick nodded, searching his face. “It’s still there. Stronger, actually. You don’t get the same impression?”
“I’m afraid that’s all you.” Nick looked around the room, and Galen remembered Dexios and did the same. “I wonder why it’s only you.”
“Because you carry my Lykon. He has been reborn within you and you have to be the one to free him,” Dexios said. They both looked to see the first statue move, Dexios’s head turning to regard them. His half of the statue shimmered, and he stepped free of it.
Well, that answered that question. He must be descended from Lykon, weird. A flash of protectiveness crossed Nick’s face, and he stepped forward to place himself in front of Galen. “What if he doesn’t want any part of this curse of yours?”
“Nick, it’s okay.” Galen laid a hand on his shoulder and stepped up beside him. The last thing he wanted was Nick barging in and making his decisions, and he didn’t want Nick hurt, so he’d have to proceed very carefully. “What do I need to do? The other night we kissed, and someone seemed to wake up inside of me. You saw him, and then the statue became complete.” Galen gestured toward the second statue. “Do we have to act out every statue for Lykon to be free and the curse ended?”
Dexios came toward them, and Galen sensed Nick tense. He reached over without thinking and took Nick’s hand in his. Dexios stopped in front of them with an ancient sadness in his eyes. “Forgive me. I get confused when too much time has passed between one rebirth and another. I’ve waited so long. I thought at first you were Lykon, and I forgot myself. I should not have kissed you.”
“So, you’re not going to try to seduce him anymore?” Nick asked, drawing Dexios’s attention to him as Galen tightened his fingers around Nick’s. “How else is he supposed to let Lykon free?”
“By letting go, embracing life instead of holding onto the past, though that advice would serve the both of you well.” Dexios looked at Galen and smiled, somehow Galen got the impression that he was looking through him to the person inside of him. He sensed a tugging in return. He took a step
closer, lifting his free hand to touch Dexios’s cheek.
“It won’t be enough, will it? Just letting him out. We’re missing something,” he said as Dexios closed his eyes and turned his face into Galen’s touch.
“You are. It’s up to the both of you to fulfill the conditions of the curse. But I am not permitted to tell you how.” Dexios opened his eyes, turned his head and kissed Galen’s palm. The sensation inside of him tugged harder, and Galen gasped, going weak when a sense of vertigo hit him. Nick steadied him as he slumped, and his warm voice murmured in Galen’s ear, only Galen couldn’t make out what he said.
Instead he sank inward, struggling to reach that place inside of him, fighting to let it go, yet afraid, so afraid it would swallow him whole.
CHAPTER NINE
“WHAT’S wrong with him?” Nick asked, his voice harsh with anxiety as he eased Galen to the floor. Nick sat beside him and gathered him close again, his stomach clenching, his thoughts jumping. “Is he going to get hurt? I don’t remember reading about this in the journals.”
“I do not know why he reacts in this manner. None of the other vessels have.” Dexios stared down at them with a worried frown nested between his eyebrows as Nick glared back at him. “Perhaps he holds on too hard. It does not seem as if it causes him any injury.”
“He passed the fuck out again! Obviously something is wrong.”
Dexios knelt on the other side of Galen, leather creaking and metal clinking against the cold floor. “I can see Lykon in him, sense him. They are bound together very tight.”
“Maybe being with you is what he needs,” Nick said with a sigh. It was hard to admit. The kiss earlier and Galen’s reaction to it had given him some hope that maybe they could start over again. First, he needed to decide if he really even wanted to. It would be too easy to give in to temptation. He didn’t want another six months like the last, and Galen wasn’t giving him any guarantees that he wouldn’t walk again. “If it’ll wake up Lykon and reunite the two of you, I don’t think Galen would find it a hardship at all.”