Make Me Whole

by Marguerite Labbe

  The only thing that stood out was the horror and heartbreak in Nick’s eyes when Galen had gone off on him after their dunking in the fountain. Galen shouldn’t have said what he’d said about not waiting. It was cruel, especially considering how Nick had just opened up to him about his mom abandoning him. Remembering it had him squirming inside. God, sometimes he really hated his temper. It took a lot to get him going, but when he did blow, he always regretted what he said and did.

  Nick,

  Look, I’m sorry, we both need to chill out a bit. You’re right. I did shut you out completely. And I know it seems cruel that I did it only with you and not Vincent, but he was safe. He was safe because I didn’t have the same feelings for him that I had for you so there was no risk in being friends with him. And if you thought that I meant I stopped hanging with everybody we used to screw around with when I stopped partying, I’m sorry for the confusion because I didn’t mean that.

  And I never should’ve implied in any way that I’d screw someone else. That was me being an asshole. I think we just need to cool down. You want some space from me and I have a lot of work to do at the museum so I’m going to bull through it and crash on the couch. And I promise, I’ll be alone.

  Let’s meet for breakfast tomorrow, at the café around the corner from our apartment. We have got to hash this out before we tear each other apart. Tomorrow at 10, I’ll save us a booth in the corner. I don’t want this to end, but damn, when are you going to start believing in us?

  I love you.

  Galen

  Galen stuck the note on Amy and Rory’s cage where Nick would be sure to see it, threw the duffel bag over his shoulder, and headed out the door. As he locked it, a wave of dizziness struck him hard and fast. He leaned against the door with a groan as Lykon overwhelmed him.

  Instinctively, he began fighting back, and then he stopped himself. What did it matter? Galen was too heartsick to care right now if Lykon went looking for Nick or Dexios. He just wanted an escape for a little bit. And maybe somehow, Lykon would find the solution because Galen didn’t know what to do anymore. At least Nick would know that it wasn’t him, and that was a small comfort.

  “Fine, I’m not going to fight you this time,” Galen whispered as the other spirit washed over him and his sense of self vanished.

  NICK shifted the grocery bags to one hand as he pulled out his keys. It was still early enough that he was pretty sure he could get dinner started and the table set before Galen shut down the museum for the night. He’d really fucked up this time. Galen’s silence proved that. He hadn’t called or texted once the entire day.

  And despite the fact that Galen’s parting words had cut deep, Nick knew that he’d pushed Galen to it. He had to get over his fear of abandonment and stop punishing Galen for leaving him before. If he could take that step and believe Galen loved him, if he could open up about his mother and the rest of his family, he could let this go too.

  A happy twittering answered him as he opened the door, and the sound never failed to make Nick smile. He set the grocery bags down and went into the living room. Amy and Rory were still in their cage, so Galen wasn’t home yet. Nick let them out, flipped on the radio, and started dinner. He might not be the cook that Galen was, but he did know how to marinate and grill a steak at least.

  Amy flew into the kitchen and landed on the back of the chair to watch Nick’s progress. He wished her presence helped ease the empty feeling that the apartment gave off. Maybe he should call Galen so he would know not to work late. Things had been hectic for him lately, and he’d been working longer hours.

  Nick stripped off his tie and jacket and tossed them on the counter. He wasn’t sure if dry cleaning would salvage them or not. Wouldn’t Galen laugh on a normal night to see him rushing to get dinner started before changing out of the clothes he hated? Nick stuck the potatoes in the oven and set the table, bringing out the candles and the wine that he’d bought.

  The nagging sense that something wasn’t quite right came back to him as he returned to the living room. Nick frowned as he looked around. Something seemed to be missing. The photograph of him and Galen at the convention still hung on the wall with Nick’s other photos, but the pictures of Galen’s family were missing.

  A deep sense of foreboding grabbed a hold of him and froze him in place. Nick looked down the darkened hallway toward their bedroom. He remembered all too clearly how empty it felt when his mom left with all of her things. And he remembered the look on his dad’s and brothers’ faces when they came home and noticed as well.

  He could not do this again. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to go into their bedroom and see the empty drawers and hangers. Galen may not have had a chance to move in all his stuff yet, but there was enough to make his presence felt and now that was gone. Nick fisted his hand in his hair and turned away. The apartment suddenly felt claustrophobic, and he headed outside to the landing to get some fresh air.

  This could not be happening. Galen had promised. It was one thing to say that he’d had enough, but to leave like this? Nick pulled out his phone and called Galen before he could change his mind. He had made a promise to himself a long time ago that he would not do this again, he would not beg, but this was Galen.

  The call went straight to voice mail. Nick closed his eyes, and his throat tightened. “Galen, I… I’m sorry, please come home.”

  Telling himself that he couldn’t put it off any longer, Nick went back inside to check only to confirm that everything Galen had moved in was gone. He sat down on the edge of the bed, set his phone on the nightstand and willed it to ring. Please, Galen, please, not like this.

  Dexios appeared in front of him with a whisper of sound, and the sight of him looking as lost as Nick felt turned his heartbreak into rage. Nick had known the betrayal was coming, and it still hadn’t prepared him for how much it would hurt. He had an overpowering urge to hurt something in return.

  Dexios opened his mouth, no doubt to chastise him, and Nick didn’t give him a chance. The punch landed on Dexios’s jaw and he staggered back against the dresser. “Fuck you,” Nick snarled.

  “Butt the hell out of our lives, because you and Lykon make things more complicated than they already are. Don’t Galen and I have enough to deal with without having to worry about your curse? How many damn tries have you had, and you still can’t get it right? That is not going to happen to us, dammit, so fuck off.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  GALEN had been so sure that Nick would show up at the café, and he couldn’t have been more wrong. It was one o’clock, and no matter how much Nick liked to sleep in on a Saturday, he wouldn’t have been this late. Galen tried to ignore the sinking in his heart as he checked his messages one more time without any luck. Nick hadn’t called or texted either.

  He was tempted to call Nick, but decided that it would be better to have this out face to face. Maybe Nick’s cell got damaged in the dunk in the fountain. Maybe Galen’s had as well. That could account for the silence if not for Nick’s no-show.

  His heart beating double-time, Galen rose, his muscles sore and aching. They didn’t used to ache like this when he’d slept on the couch before, but the dunk in the fountain probably hadn’t helped. He must be getting older, to feel this sore the next day. He paid the bill and headed over to the apartment, but Nick’s car wasn’t out front. Galen growled under his breath. Nick was making it impossible to apologize, and Galen couldn’t stop the awful feeling that he’d fucked up big time by crashing on the couch last night. If there was anything he could’ve done to bring Nick’s fears front and center, this was it.

  There had been so much to do after Lykon had let go of him that Galen had pushed aside his exhaustion and buried himself in all the tasks vying for his attention. By the time night came he’d crashed and crashed hard on the couch, only to wake up sore and aching all over. Galen returned to the museum, and Heather pounced on him as soon as he came through the door.

  “There you are! I’ve been try
ing to call for the last two hours. Suzane left the write-up for Monday’s newspaper ad on your desk, then went to her son’s soccer game. Knox can’t come help close today because a project came up, and he has to go out of town. Some guy called and wants to know if he can get a preview for the exhibit to write up on his blog.”

  Galen pulled out his phone with a frown. “You called?”

  “Yeah.” Heather rolled her eyes. “Like half a dozen times, Mr. K.”

  Damn, that was the second time in the last few months that he needed to get a new phone. At this rate he was going to beat last year’s count. “Sorry, my phone got soaked. Let me take a look at the messages and the notes on the desk, and if you want, I can cover while you go to lunch. Anything else happen?”

  “Nick stopped by.”

  Galen spun back around to face her and his heart skipped a beat. “He did?”

  “Yeah, I think he was here for a bit and left maybe thirty minutes ago?”

  “Okay, thanks.” Galen tried to not let his conflicted emotions show, but he wasn’t sure if he was successful or not when Heather gave him a puzzled look. He turned away before she could ask questions. He’d just missed seeing Nick. As he climbed the tower steps, he argued with himself over Nick’s actions. Maybe he’d tried to call because he overslept and came here to look for Galen. That didn’t explain why he didn’t at least try to see if he was still at the café. It was just around the corner, it would’ve taken five minutes. Maybe the note Galen left had fallen and he hadn’t seen it.

  He tried calling his cell from his desk phone, and sure enough it didn’t go through. A headache began to form at his temples. What a fucking mess. He called Nick and Suzane, though neither answered, and left a message letting them know about his cell phone. Nick had to have been trying to get a hold of him and must be going nuts.

  Galen stared unseeingly out the window as unhappy, worried thoughts crowded his brain. For once he didn’t want to be at the museum. He wanted to hunt down Nick, but he had no idea where to start. After Heather had her lunch, maybe he could sneak away for an hour. He grabbed the paperwork on his desk and headed back downstairs.

  Heather was busy with a customer, so he laid his work down on the counter and went to check on the Dexios Collection. Trepidation slowed his steps. If he went in there and found them starting to revert back to their former state, he didn’t know what he would do. No. That was asking for trouble, and he’d be damned if he let things get that bad between him and Nick over a stupid argument.

  Galen rubbed his chest as he walked into the exhibit room. There was an air of hushed expectation around the statues, as if they were someone steeling themselves for another blow.

  Galen walked over to the final one, where Dexios lay on his side, his arms empty, and this time the longing that swept over him was so strong that his eyes stung. He wanted to lie in that embrace and just sleep, knowing that he was finally where he belonged. Galen closed his eyes and rubbed his chest again. “Hey, you there, Lykon? Dexios? It’ll be okay.”

  Silence answered him, and Galen went back to work with a sigh. He kept trying Nick’s phone without any luck, and no matter how many times he tried telling himself it was just because Nick’s cell was probably trashed, it didn’t ease his nagging sense that something was terribly wrong.

  “Okay, Galen, you look like a kicked puppy. What’s going on?”

  Galen grimaced at the sound of Suzane’s voice. He did not want to get sucked into a soul-baring conversation right now. He couldn’t handle it. “I thought you were at Clint’s game.”

  “It’s over; they won. Clint’s off celebrating with his friends.” Suzane pulled her wild mop of blonde curls back from her face with a colorful scarf and came behind the counter with him.

  “Well, now that you’re here.” Galen handed her the folder with the ad write-up and Heather’s notes on the calls. “I think the ad works. Good job, we should get some last-minute buzz from that.”

  “Screw work. What’s wrong?” Suzane laid her hand on Galen’s arm, and his chest squeezed around his heart. “Does it have anything to do with the stack of boxes in the storage room?”

  Galen’s head jerked up as an icy-cold jolt hit him hard. “What boxes?”

  Suzane’s expression turned from concern to sympathy, and her hand tightened on his arm. “I’m sorry. I thought you were the one who put them there. It looks like your stuff. I stole a peek, and I didn’t mean to pry, but after the last time boxes showed up without warning, I had to know if it was something similar.”

  “Do you mind covering the desk for a minute?” Galen didn’t wait for Suzane’s answer. He had to see for himself. It could be the rest of his belongings from his old apartment. Maybe Knox moved them before going out of town and didn’t have a chance to tell him. Telling himself that kept his feet moving forward.

  The boxes were stacked against the wall. Galen steeled himself and took the lid off the first one. His heart plummeted with a sickening lurch, and his eyes stung as he recognized the contents, the things he’d brought over to their place.

  Galen replaced the lid. He didn’t want to see anymore. Now he knew why Nick had stopped by, and the realization that he’d ended their relationship without even a word…. His chest tightened to the point that he couldn’t breathe, and then fury erupted through his heartbreak. Oh fuck no. He wasn’t going down like this.

  THE apartment was quiet, too quiet, and it was making Nick crazy. Nothing seemed to break the stillness, not even Amy and Rory’s presence. Nick had tried to exhaust himself swimming, but it hadn’t helped, though for at least a bit he was out of the apartment and doing something. Nick shoved a hand through his wet hair and tried to bury himself in his comics, but it was useless.

  So this was the night that Galen had decided not to try calling him. When Nick had gotten that first voice mail about Galen’s phone he’d been ready to rush back over to the museum to apologize. Then he’d made the mistake of listening to the second. Galen had been so pissed off that he’d made little sense during his rant other than to tell Nick to fuck off. Nick got the message though. He’d screwed up and screwed up big time.

  He’d tried; he’d really tried to understand where Galen was coming from. Nick had let his issues sabotage them from the first meeting in Galen’s tower. Still, Nick had to admit that trying to understand Galen’s viewpoint didn’t work too well when he was still reeling from how Galen had ended their relationship.

  It didn’t stop him from listening to the message again, or the ones that followed a few days later. The messages where Galen apologized for being so angry in the last voice mail or for what he’d said when they’d fought outside the restaurant. He never apologized for leaving, though. He never mentioned wanting to come back home. And Nick didn’t know if he could handle letting him back in a little bit only to find out that it was over past any hope of fixing.

  It didn’t stop him from wondering when Galen would decide it wasn’t worth calling to try to get through to Nick. It had eaten him up inside. He hadn’t been able to decide what was worse: waiting and wondering if this was going to be the night that Galen gave up; or enduring the chime of a text coming in, the ringing of his phone, the sound of Galen’s persistent voice, sometimes angry, sometimes sad; or the dead silence after Nick had listened to the new message.

  Now he knew the answer.

  Fuck, it hurt. He never should’ve allowed Galen back in as much as he had. He’d been a fool from the moment he’d called Galen back, lured in by the perfect bait. Nick glared at the journals on the coffee table and swept them off with a jerk of his arm. The fucking Dexios Collection had been the bane of his family forever. He should’ve listened to his dad’s warnings. They weren’t the golden ticket home he’d been searching for; they’d been a trap that led him into a nightmare.

  Rory’s screech broke the silence, and when Nick glanced his way he found the cockatiel’s crest lying flat and his feathers slicked down. Great, now even his bird was depressed. “I�
�m sorry, buddy. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Nick got up and flipped on the radio to fill the silence, the first time he’d done so in days, and Rory’s crest lifted a little.

  Nick threw himself back on the couch and pinched the bridge of his nose. The gala was a couple days away. Surely Galen had better things to do than to continue to torment him. That’s why he hadn’t called. It was better to think he was tied up doing last minute things for the opening of the exhibit than wondering where Galen was sleeping tonight.

  Nick sat up again as realization struck. Fuck. His dad was planning on coming. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

  His stomach twisted at the thought of calling his dad and cancelling, but he couldn’t let him waste his money and come up here for nothing. When his dad’s voice mail picked up, some of the tension knotting Nick’s insides let up.

  “Hey, Dad, ummm, about this weekend, cancel your tickets. Galen and I broke up, so there’s not really going to be much of a celebration. I’ll be heading out to Greece in September for vacation. Why don’t I stop by in San Francisco on my way home? We can catch up and discuss what we want to do with the Dexios Collection, though really I’m all for leaving it with Galen. He’ll take good care of the statues. I’ll call you again sometime next week. Don’t worry about me. I’m cool.”

  Nick tossed the phone down, feeling sick to his stomach. He should cancel his trip to Greece. He didn’t really feel like heading there of all places, and he sure as hell didn’t feel like wreck diving for statues. And to think, he’d been plotting on how to get Galen away from the museum to go with him.