Finding Hope at Lighthouse Cove

by Jessica Redland

  Daniel laughed too.

  ‘How about we start over?’ I said. ‘I’m Elise. I’m thirty and I’m the Head of English and Drama at a local comprehensive. Next month I’d have been celebrating my twelfth wedding anniversary with Gary who I’ve been with since I was fourteen. Unfortunately, I found him and his new partner in our shower six-and-a-half weeks ago so I’m now living with Sarah’s auntie and going through a divorce. And you are…?’

  ‘I’m Daniel, I’m thirty-two and I’m a sales rep. I work for several different companies including Gorgeous Gifts who supply to your friend Sarah’s shop. I met my soon-to-be-ex-wife, Amber, when I was sixteen and we married at twenty-one. Unfortunately I discovered she’d been having an affair with my friend and neighbour, Jake, and I found out because she miscarried our baby. Only it wasn’t our baby, it was Jake’s. So now I’m living in my nan’s holiday cottage in the middle of nowhere with my brother Michael who hates me and, like you, I’m going through a divorce.’

  ‘I’m so sorry to hear about the baby,’ I said. ‘I think you may have just trumped me on the sheer crap-ness of it all.’

  ‘I don’t know. I didn’t have the dubious pleasure of catching them in the act.’

  ‘True,’ I said. ‘And at least Amber was having an affair with someone of the opposite sex.’

  ‘No!’ Daniel’s eyes widened. ‘He was with a guy?’

  I nodded. For a moment, I panicked that I’d told Gary’s secret, but Daniel wasn’t from Whitsborough Bay originally so he wasn’t going to know Gary. Plus, if Gary had any sense, he’d have confessed all to Cynthia by now.

  ‘Wow!’ Daniel raised his glass. ‘How about a toast to despicable exes and new beginnings?’

  I clinked my glass with his. ‘I’ll drink to that.’

  After a poor start, the hours whizzed by. We noticed the waiters looking anxious to close for the evening just before eleven so decided we’d better settle the bill and let them head home.

  Sarah, Kay, Curtis and Stevie (before the incident) had been great listeners and Jem had worked his counselling magic during a couple more sessions but speaking to somebody who was going through the same thing was ever so cathartic. We’d both been betrayed by the one person we trusted more than anyone else and we’d both had our world thrown into turmoil. We laughed, we cried, we flirted, we laughed some more.

  The rain had stopped by the time we left the restaurant.

  ‘Did I do okay?’ Daniel asked. ‘Are my man-bits safe?’

  I laughed. ‘You’ve more than made up for the shaky start. I wish the evening didn’t have to end, but there’s nowhere to go on a Tuesday night.’

  ‘It doesn’t have to end.’ Daniel took my hand. My heart raced at his touch.

  ‘What do you propose?’

  ‘You could always come back to mine,’ he said. ‘We don’t have to do anything. We can just continue to chat.’

  I bit my lip. ‘And what if I want to do something?’

  Daniel had only had one glass of wine during the meal. He told me his nan’s holiday cottage was in the grounds of a farm about twenty minutes’ drive up the coast towards Shellby Bay and it was easier and cheaper to drive than travel by taxi.

  That twenty-minute journey felt like hours as he drove along the coast road in silence, the tension between us fizzing. I had to sit on my hands to stop me from touching him and causing an accident. Watching his profile out of the corner of my eye, my mind raced with all the things I wanted to do to him. I really shouldn’t have read Fifty Shades of Grey. I’m a voracious reader, but the series hadn’t sounded like my kind of thing so I’d avoided it at the time. About eight months ago, desperate to try something… anything… to garner Gary’s interests, I’d relented and borrowed the first three from a colleague at school. I hadn’t been converted to erotica as a preferred reading genre, but I’d certainly learned a thing or two. Needless to say, it hadn’t worked on Gary. At least I now knew why.

  Daniel steered his car into a courtyard. A security light came on, illuminating a large farmhouse straight ahead, a cottage to the left, and a barn to the right. Daniel stopped his car in front of the cottage, switched off the ignition and took a deep breath. He touched my arm and a wave of desire ran through me. ‘Are you sure?’ he asked.

  I nodded. ‘Very sure.’ I surprised myself at how much I wanted this.

  We opened our doors at the same time and stepped into the cool air, which had been freshened by the earlier downpour. My whole body felt on fire so the breeze was soothing.

  ‘Michael’s back.’ Daniel indicated the jeep parked next to his car. ‘We’ll need to be quiet.’

  He unlocked the cottage door and flicked the switch on a lamp just inside. I followed him into a large open plan kitchen/diner/lounge, but I had little chance to take in the surroundings because, the moment the door closed behind us, Daniel took me in his arms and kissed me, softly at first, then more urgently. I responded with the same urgency, clinging tightly onto him. We stumbled into the lounge area. He unzipped my dress and eased my arms out of it, letting it fall to the wooden floor. His eyes flashed with desire. Thank goodness I was wearing matching underwear. I unbuttoned his shirt and tried to pull it off him, but it had long sleeves and buttons and his hands got caught in the cuffs. We giggled as he tried to release himself. He finally tugged his arms free and pulled my face towards his, running his fingers through my hair, but I squealed as his watch got caught in my curls.

  ‘Oh my God! I’m so sorry.’ He unclasped his watch and carefully worked on my hair until he’d untangled it. ‘Are you okay? Did it hurt?’

  ‘It’s fine.’ I rubbed my sore head.

  He gently kissed my scalp. ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’

  I reached up and took his face in my hands and moved it close to mine. ‘Where were we?’

  He kissed me again, gently at first then with more passion. He lowered himself onto the sofa and pulled me towards him, but my foot got caught on a table lamp, which went crashing to the floor along with what sounded like a glass smashing.

  ‘What the bloody hell’s going on?’

  I peeked over the sofa towards the staircase where I could make out the shape of a man in a pair of trunks.

  ‘Michael! Sorry. I’ll clear it up. We were just—’

  ‘So I see,’ Michael interrupted. ‘Show some respect and use your room.’ He turned round and stomped up the stairs again. I cringed as a door slammed.

  ‘Sorry,’ Daniel said. ‘That was my brother. I didn’t think it was the right moment for introductions. This isn’t going very well, is it?’

  I stroked his cheek. ‘I’m beginning to feel like something’s trying to stop us.’

  ‘Do you want me to drive you home?’ He looked disappointed.

  I shook my head. ‘No. Unless you want to.’

  ‘No. I’d really like you to stay. Do you want to head upstairs while I get this lot cleared up?’

  I nodded.

  Daniel grinned. ‘There’s only three rooms. The bathroom’s on the side, Michael’s room’s at the front and mine’s at the back so you can’t go wrong.’ He helped me to my feet and picked up my dress. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever said sorry so many times in one evening, but I really am very sorry for the crap start and end to the evening.’

  I gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. ‘It’s been different, but it’s been fantastic so you have nothing to be sorry about. Plus, the evening isn’t over yet. I’ll see you upstairs.’

  17

  I awoke desperate for the toilet and immediately kicked myself for having fallen asleep before Daniel came upstairs last night. He could only have been about ten minutes clearing up yet I hadn’t managed to stay awake that long. What must he have thought?

  To my left, he lay spark-out, hair mussed up, lips pouting. I had an overwhelming desire to kiss him, but I also had an overwhelming desire to pee and that was stronger. It was still dark, but the blinds I’d drawn last night had been black-out ones so it could h
ave been the early hours or mid-morning for all I knew. I carefully peeled back the duvet and slipped out of bed. Through the gloom, I spotted a towel draped over a radiator and wrapped it round me in case I encountered Michael on the landing.

  A small clock on the windowsill in the bathroom read 6.32 a.m. After using the toilet and freshening my breath with some toothpaste, I crept back along the landing, noting that a strip of light had appeared under Michael’s doorway. Darting into Daniel’s room to avoid Michael, I’d just closed the door behind me when Daniel flicked on a bedside lamp, startling me.

  ‘I woke up and you were gone.’ I looked towards the bed where he was propped up on his arm. ‘I thought you’d done a runner.’ Gone was the confidence from last night. Instead, he looked sad and perhaps a little afraid. My heart went out to him.

  ‘I wouldn’t do that to you,’ I said. ‘Call of nature.’

  ‘That’s a relief. I’d have been sad if you’d gone.’ He folded back the duvet on my side of the bed and his eyes beseeched me to join him. I dropped the towel at the very last moment and quickly dived under the covers.

  ‘Thank you,’ he said.

  Those two words sounded so full of emotion and gratitude that I just wanted to take his pain away. ‘It’ll be all right,’ I tried to re-assure him.

  ‘Will it? Is that how you feel?’

  ‘No. But I have to try and make myself believe it will be, or I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed each day.’

  ‘What hurts you the most?’ he whispered.

  ‘The lies. I trusted him and he lied to me pretty much from the moment we got together. I’m such an honest person and I thought Gary was too. Apparently not.’

  ‘It’s the same for me,’ he said. ‘Amber was so excited about the baby, you know. I thought we had our whole future ahead of us. Together. When she started bleeding, I’d never felt so scared in my life, but when it was over she wouldn’t let me comfort her. She kept asking for Jake and I couldn’t understand why. I went next door to tell him about the baby and he looked so shocked and hurt that it dawned on me. It was like a million unexplained things suddenly made sense. Five years. They’d been lying to me for five years.’

  We lay for a moment staring into each other’s glistening eyes. My heart began to race and my breathing shallowed. I heard his do the same. Next moment, we were in each other’s arms and, this time, there were no clothing-removal disasters, no lamps or glasses to kick over, and no angry brother.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Daniel asked, holding me tightly. ‘You’re shaking.’

  ‘That’s because I’m in shock,’ I admitted.

  ‘Oh God! Was I that bad?’

  ‘No. The complete opposite. I had no idea that… well, with Gary I… it was never… he never… Sorry, I think you may have turned me into a gibbering wreck.’

  Daniel loosened his hold so he could look into my eyes. ‘Really? You’re saying you’ve never climaxed?’

  Colour rushed to my cheeks as I shook my head. ‘I thought I had and I didn’t get what the fuss was all about, but now I know I was way off. That was amazing. Thank you.’

  He laughed and stroked my damp hair. ‘You don’t have to thank me. But if you give me a moment, we may be able to make up on some more lost experiences.’

  ‘Again? But Gary…’

  ‘Gary never made love to you more than once a night?’ Daniel suggested when I fell silent. ‘You’re stunning, Elise. How did he manage to keep his hands off you?’

  ‘I think we both know the answer to that question, don’t we?’

  ‘Sorry. Completely inappropriate.’

  ‘It’s fine. I was lucky if Gary made love to me once every six months, never mind more than once in a night. I have a feeling I’ve missed out on a lot, but I also have a feeling I may have found a good teacher. And you know I have a lot of respect for the teaching profession.’

  Daniel laughed and dived under the covers. ‘Let the lesson commence.’

  Ooh yes, definitely a fantastic teacher!

  I felt a little uncomfortable rooting around in the kitchen cupboards to find a mug and teabags, but Daniel had said to make myself at home while he showered and got ready for work so I’d padded down to the kitchen in my knickers and one of his work shirts. I’d heard the front door go and an engine start so assumed Michael had gone out and I was safe.

  Finally finding the right cupboard, I leaned against the units, having a good look around the room while I waited for the kettle to boil. I instantly loved the cottage. Colourful seaside prints adorned exposed stone walls and a deep bay windowsill was covered in shells, pebbles, wooden boats and a lighthouse. A shabby chic dresser painted bright turquoise and loaded with paperbacks and board games took pride of place on the wall opposite the window. Next to it another smaller cream dresser displayed bright mismatched crockery. Brightly coloured scatter cushions adorned the navy wrap-around sofa and I blushed as I thought about what had nearly happened on it the night before. Then I blushed even more as I thought about what had happened in the bedroom just now. Twice. Wow! Who knew?

  The kettle boiled and I was squeezing my teabag when the door opened and Michael walked in carrying a camera bag. He carefully placed it on the sofa and fiddled with something inside it. He obviously hadn’t noticed me. What should I do? Cough. Say ‘hello’? Stay quiet? Run upstairs? Damn!

  ‘Er, hi,’ I said. ‘You must be Michael.’

  He looked up, startled, then frowned as he saw what I was – or should that be wasn’t – wearing.

  ‘You’re still here then?’ he said.

  I chose to ignore the attitude. ‘I’m Elise. Can I make you a drink? Kettle’s just boiled.’

  ‘I was on my way out.’ He picked up his bag again and headed back towards the door.

  ‘I’m sorry about disturbing you last night,’ I said.

  He stopped and stared at me. He was taller and slimmer than Daniel, but I’d definitely have picked them out as brothers in a line-up. They certainly came from a good gene pool. ‘Elaine, is it?’

  ‘Elise.’

  ‘Elise, you have nothing to be sorry about. He’s the one who should be apologising. Bringing you back here was completely inappropriate and disrespectful. As usual.’ Then he stormed out of the cottage, slamming the door. I heard an engine start up and the screech of tyres.

  Sipping on my tea, I wondered what he meant by ‘as usual’ and my stomach clenched.

  Daniel appeared five minutes later, looking handsome in a sky-blue shirt and coordinating tie. ‘I bet you can convince your lady customers to spend a fortune when you’re dressed like that,’ I said.

  He laughed. ‘Speaking of clothes, I’m liking what you’re wearing. Or not wearing.’

  ‘Thank you.’ I did a twirl.

  ‘I’m going to have to stop looking at you because I’m getting very turned on right now and I will be so late for my first client if I do all the things I’d like to do to you.’

  A shiver of delight ran down my body and I knew immediately that I’d do anything for an action replay of our morning together. ‘Fancy taking a rain-check on that?’

  ‘Tomorrow night?’

  I nodded. ‘Give me two minutes to gather the rest of my clothes then are you sure you’re okay to drop me in town?’

  ‘My first appointment’s in York so it’s not too much of a detour. And I can’t leave a beautiful lady stranded.’

  As we drove back towards Whitsborough Bay, I thought about Michael’s comment. I knew that if I didn’t ask Daniel what he meant, it would niggle at me and then doubts would creep in about whether he was being honest with me. After what I’d just been through with Gary, I had to know.

  He laughed when I told him. ‘He really said that? My brother’s such an arse.’

  ‘You know we were talking this morning about how the lies were the worst part of what we’ve been through? You have been honest with me, haven’t you?’

  ‘About what?’

  ‘About your sex life sinc
e splitting up with Amber. If there’ve been others, I don’t mind. Just be honest. I wouldn’t blame you if you’d slept around.’

  Daniel pulled into a side-road, stopped the car and turned to face me. ‘Do you really think I’d lie to you after what you’ve been through?’

  I shook my head. ‘No. It’s just that—’

  ‘It’s just that my idiot brother’s done what he likes to do best: screw things up for me.’ Daniel banged the palm of his hand on the steering wheel. ‘He’s such a shit.’

  I wished I hadn’t said anything. ‘Sorry,’ I muttered.

  He turned back to face me. ‘Don’t be. It’s him. I told you we don’t get on and I think you’ve seen plenty of evidence of that last night and this morning. I didn’t tell you why, though, did I?’

  I shook my head. ‘You don’t have to if it’s too personal.’

  ‘It’s fine. I want you to know. Michael’s two years older than me. When we were kids, we got on as well as most siblings do. You know how it is? Play great one minute, fight the next. Everything changed when I brought Amber home. Michael was eighteen, single and desperate to find a girlfriend. I could tell he liked her instantly. I only found out how much when we were at a family party and I overheard him trying to convince her to dump me and see him instead. He tried to make out he was joking, but he wasn’t. He made a pass at her a few years later. This time his excuse was that he was drunk, it was dark and he thought she was someone else.’

  ‘But you didn’t believe him?’

  ‘No. I saw the way he looked at her. We had a huge fight about it one day and he told me I wasn’t good enough for her, never would be, and he’d never stop trying to convince her of it. We’ve barely spoken since. I know he’s my brother, but I can’t stand him.’

  ‘I’m not surprised. Why do you share a house, then?’