All We See or Seem

by Leah Sanders

  “Mom!” Aaron blushed and looked away from her. He hadn’t even noticed the scar was missing until just now when she brought it to his attention. Add one more odd coincidence to his growing list. That scar had been a part of his face since he was seven. How could he have missed that?

  “Hello. I’m looking for Major Jennings’s room. Is this the right place?” A rich baritone interrupted Aaron’s thoughts.

  “Dad!” His father locked Aaron’s hand within his own in a hearty handshake then pounded him on the back in a fatherly gesture.

  “Robert — be careful!”

  “Oh, Cary, he can take it. The doctor said he’s as good as new.”

  “Still… I wish you’d take it easy.”

  Robert turned to Aaron and rolled his eyes slightly. Aaron hid his secret amusement. “It’s okay, Mom. I don’t have any pain at all… really. So, Dad, how’s life? Still tearing it up in D.C.?”

  “Yes, sir. You know me! Taking butts and kicking names. But how about you? Big promotion, I hear.”

  “What? Where’d you hear that?”

  “Robert! You’re not supposed to say anything yet!” Aaron’s mother scolded. “Honestly, I don’t know how the government trusts you with any secrets! You’re terrible!”

  “Oops. Guess I let the cat out of the bag.” He winked at Aaron playfully. “Well, since everything is out in the open anyway, congratulations, major!” He offered a salute.

  Aaron stood and returned his father’s salute. “Major, huh?”

  “Well, they decided your particular talents would be better utilized stateside and in charge of an internal intelligence project… And just so you know, although I sure didn’t stand in the way, the recommendation came from your C.O.”

  “Wow. I’m absolutely speechless!” And he was.

  “Congratulations, Aaron. I’m so proud of you, honey.” His mom put her arm around him and squeezed. Aaron could see tears welling up in her eyes.

  “Oh, don’t mind her, son. She’s just thrilled you’re going to be stationed close to home for a change!” He laughed and nudged his wife lightheartedly with his elbow. She furrowed her brow in mock disdain and elbowed him right back.

  There was a quick knock at the door, and the nurse stepped inside and held it open. “I’m sorry, but it’s time for the captain’s benchmark testing.”

  “You’re kicking us out, eh?” Robert raised an eyebrow at her menacingly.

  “Oh, no, sir. You’re welcome to stay, of course. I didn’t mean to s-s—” the nurse stuttered, helplessly trying to back-pedal. “It’s just the tests usually take awhile, and I—”

  “Robert, stop scaring the poor girl! I can’t take you anywhere! Don’t mind him, he’s just teasing. We have to leave anyway… busy afternoon.” She smiled to reassure the nurse then tendered another well-placed elbow in her husband’s ribs before turning to her son. “We’ll be back in the morning, honey. Can’t wait to get you home! We’ll have a welcome home bash and invite some old friends.”

  “Sounds great, Mom. See ya in the morning.”

  She patted him on the cheek and took her husband’s arm. They walked out together.

  “So, benchmarks, huh? Sounds riveting,” Aaron moved to the wheelchair the nurse offered and sat down.

  Chapter Five

  From inside the capsule, Aaron could hear the technician flipping switches and prepping the machines. Through the earpiece, her voice reverberated in his head.

  “Just relax, Captain Jennings. This won’t hurt at all. I’m going to give you a series of instructions. Please try to hold the suggested images in your mind until I tell you to stop. This is to test the activity in the different lobes of your brain. Basically to make sure everything is firing correctly. Ready?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Aaron’s voice echoed around him in the enclosed space. He closed his eyes and relaxed his body on the padding of the molded bed.

  “First, I want you to hold the image of your mother’s face in your mind. Got it?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Hold it for a minute.”

  Mom’s face hung in his memory, smiling but with a hint of sadness in her eyes. It was the way she’d looked when he’d shipped out the last time, trying to pretend for his sake.

  “Whoa. Mom’s a soft spot, huh? A little more amygdala action than I was expecting on that one. Want a copy of this test for a Mother’s Day gift, captain?”

  Aaron laughed, but it was unsettling how she could read his emotional response just by looking at a brain scan.

  “Ready for number two?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, this time I want you to recall in your mind something you have memorized, like a favorite line from Shakespeare, lyrics to a song, the twenty-third Psalm… anything like that will work. Just keep reciting it in your mind,” the technician instructed, then paused to let him think of something. “Got one?”

  His favorite poem. He’d had it memorized since eighth grade. “Yes, Ma’am. Poe.”

  “Okay. Begin reciting in your thoughts.”

  Take this kiss upon the brow!

  And, in parting from you now,

  Thus much let me avow—

  You are not wrong, who deem

  That my days have been a dream;

  Yet if hope has flown away

  In a night, or in a day,

  In a vision, or in none,

  Is it therefore the less gone?

  All that we see or seem

  Is but a dream within a dream.

  “Perfect. Next up, math facts. Start with addition.”

  Aaron thought through the twos and the sevens, his personal favorites. Then he did eights and threes in the multiplication tables. He was glad the technician interrupted him right before he moved on to division — he’d never liked it much.

  “All right, we’ll pull you out of there and switch to the node scanners. We have just a couple more tests to do, and you’ll be all set.”

  Aaron was relieved to be out of the scrutiny of the tube. He knew the tests were necessary because of his injury, but the idea of another person being inside his head disturbed him on multiple levels. He relaxed in the reclining chair he had moved to while the technician began the process of attaching the electrodes to his scalp.

  She ran him through a few standard brain wave tests, then asked him several questions about his childhood and had him do a logic puzzle while she kept an eye on the monitor and keyed in notes periodically. She was pleasant enough, but there was a certain reserve in her manner as she questioned him. Chances are, it was just due to the clinical nature of her job. She was testing his brain, after all, he reasoned.

  “Hmm… one of my electrodes has stopped communicating properly. I’ll need to replace it. You sit tight here, and I’ll go grab another one.” She walked briskly into the adjacent office.

  Aaron shifted in his seat slightly, but the movement caused the faulty electrode to twist and reverse polarity. It was a freak accident, and the surge was only momentary, but Aaron jolted and sat straight up in his chair. His exclamation of surprise brought the technician out promptly.

  “What happened?”

  “I don’t know. I moved. I felt a shock.” His heart was beating wildly.

  “Let’s get you out of these.” She immediately palmed the switch to power down the current and hastily began removing the electrodes from

  Aaron’s head, neck, and chest, talking rapidly as she worked.

  “Does it hurt? Are you seeing any spots or flashes? I’m so sorry. This has never happened before. Are you sure you’re okay? I’m so sorry, captain.” Her voice was thick with concern, and it was clear to Aaron the technician was quite fearful about the incident, so he did his best to put her at ease.

  “I’m fine. Just a little jolt. No big deal. It’s fine.”

  She kept flitting around as if disoriented by the occurrence. Genuinely confused and disturbed by it. Aaron wanted to calm her, let her know it was okay — at the very least get h
er to stop moving so frantically around him. He reached out suddenly and took her hand in his. She stopped abruptly and glanced into his eyes. Her look of sheer terror dissipated in that moment, but the tenderness that replaced it jolted some shadow of a memory embedded deep in Aaron’s mind with a sudden flash. His consciousness couldn’t grasp its origin, but it made his mind reel. As if sensing his uneasiness, the technician gently retracted her hand and fixed her gaze on the office door.

  “I’m sorry, captain… I’m sure you’re tired. I’ll call an orderly to take you back to your room.”

  “Yes. That… that would be good,” Aaron muttered and looked away. Evidently, the technician wanted to forget the incident. Since there was no damage, he was inclined to oblige her. No doubt it could cost her livelihood — even if it wasn’t her fault. Besides, he wanted to sort his thoughts privately, to understand what was going on in his own head, without a lot of questions and the feeling of being under a microscope — everybody looking at him like a science project gone wrong.

  If he could just make it through this day — tomorrow he would go home.

  ****

  “Gryff… Gryff—” He could hear someone calling his name — but it wasn’t his name at all. He looked around to see who was calling. It seemed to be coming from just over the fence in the shadows.

  “Who’s there?” he shouted into the darkness. Then he heard weeping. The anguish in it broke his heart. He followed the sound of desperate grief until he reached the iron fence. Through the bars he could see a shadowy form crumpled on the ground, shaking with sobs.

  “What is it?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”

  There was no reply but more weeping, so he tried again louder.

  “What is it? What has happened? Please. Let me help you.”

  Slowly the girl stood and turned toward him. She stepped into a solitary beam of light, and he saw her tear-stained face regarding him. “Gem.” The name played on his lips, hardly a whisper. She reached out for him—

  He woke in a cold sweat.

  Chapter Six

  “You have handled surrogate situations before.”

  “This is different.”

  “How? How can it possibly be different?”

  “With all due respect, doctor, in this case, it’s the timing.”

  “How so? We’ve done this hundreds of times. Timing has never been an issue for any of them.”

  “May I speak frankly, sir?”

  “Please do — He’s not listening, if that’s what’s worrying you.”

  “This stem has lost her mate.”

  “Mate!? How can that — We watch very — It is strictly regulated! There are no records of—”

  “Sorry, sir. Poor choice of words. I didn’t mean a physical mate — the thought would never have occurred to them. They have all been chemically altered against that, as you know.”

  “Then what did you mean, Aria? Say it.”

  “Her soul mate, sir.”

  ****

  Gem woke up with her head spinning. She’d been increasingly dizzy in the mornings, but this was the first time her stomach had also churned. She had experienced nausea in the past, usually after Level Three benchmarks, but it only plagued her for a couple hours on the same day as the testing. And she hadn’t been to benchmarks in three weeks.

  Rolling out of bed slowly, she mentally prepared herself for what was inevitably coming. She sat on the edge of the mattress for a moment, waiting for the dizziness to subside, then she stood unsteadily and stumbled to the bathroom, keeping close to the wall for support.

  She made it just in time.

  When the worst was over, Gem reached up to the counter and dragged herself to the sink. A little cold water — that’s what she needed. She splashed a little on her face then cupped her hands and brought some to her lips. What is wrong with me? The water helped, but her hands trembled weakly as she slumped back to the floor groaning.

  The door buzzed. “ARIA. 8936. ENTRANCE GRANTED.” Aria stepped in with the digital announcement.

  “Gemini? Where are you?”

  “In here,” she moaned. Aria stepped into the bathroom.

  “Hey, what’s going on in here? Gem? You’re white as a sheet!” Gem looked up groggily.

  “I don’t feel well.”

  Aria knelt down on the floor next to Gem and put the back of her hand to Gem’s forehead. “No fever. Is it your stomach? Maybe you need to eat.”

  “Ugh! No. No. No breakfast, Aria. Don’t even want to think about it.” Her stomach lurched at the mention of food. She had no memory of ever being this miserable. “What’s wrong with me?”

  “You know, I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. I’ve seen this kind of thing before. You should probably record the incident in your log — actually, if you feel like you can stand, we will do that right now. Think you can make it to the monitor?”

  “Yeah, I think so.” Gem took the hand Aria offered and slowly pulled herself up. The room seemed to sway for a moment, so she used the wall to steady herself until it stabilized.

  They made their way slowly to the monitor on the wall near the door. Aria helped Gem scan in, then Gem started her report, weakly at first, “Gemini — Stem 6418C. Report code 709-13. Medical concern, nausea — vomiting 0517. End report.”

  “Okay, good. Got that out of the way. How about you lie back down for a few minutes? Let’s see. 0525? Dispensary will be activated in about five minutes. I’ll stay with you until then, okay?” She sat in the desk chair.

  Gem groaned her assent. As miserable as she felt, she was happy for Aria’s company.

  Aria had been her support system for the past three weeks, since Gryff had left. If it hadn’t been for her, Gem would have sunk into grief and been flagged by the EROMI staff for additional study. And though she hadn’t cared much initially, she was glad now that Aria had kept her out of their hands.

  Right on time the dispensary beeped, indicating Gem’s daily supplements had been delivered. Aria stood and briskly retrieved the vial for Gem, who rolled to her side and propped up on her elbow to accept the tube. Though she wasn’t thrilled about the prospect of putting more liquid on her churning stomach, she brought it to her lips, tipped her head back, and let it slip down her throat. Almost instantaneously, the nausea subsided and her stomach settled. Aria stood by observing her closely.

  “Hey, your color is coming back. Feeling better?”

  “Yeah — yeah… Much better, actually.”

  “The real test is do you think you can eat?”

  “I feel like I can, but there’s only one way to find out.” Gem sat up slowly, swung her feet over the side of the bed, and paused a moment before standing — as if daring the nausea to return. It didn’t.

  Aria went to the closet to lay out Gem’s standard green uniform, while Gem washed up and re-braided her hair. Her reflection stared back at her in the mirror. She was still a little pale, but nothing like what she had been just a few moments ago. Whatever was in her supplement had done the trick. She felt one hundred percent better. But the incident was disturbing.

  Endfield was a healthy community. They ate well-balanced meals and snacks on a proven schedule. They exercised vigorously every day. All sickness had been expunged years ago. They were vaccinated, hygienic, and all the common areas were sterilized daily. She knew — it was one of her favorite community assignments.

  The training videos Gem had often seen showed the history of disease and how EROMI had developed cures and preventions for each of them, one-by-one. Thanks to EROMI and to Dr. Joseph Admatha, civilization was saved, and sickness no longer existed anywhere but in the histories. So, why — with all those advances in science and medicine — would Gem ever experience what she had gone through this morning? It didn’t make sense.

  She slipped on her uniform and smoothed the thin fabric. All set. It wouldn’t do any good to dwell on those questions anyway. Like the psychological health videos said, asking questions just made one unhap
py. But still… even as she forced them from her mind, she could sense them taking root somewhere deep in her consciousness.

  As Gem strode out of the bathroom, she heard the monitor beep, indicating an incoming message. “ATTENTION: GEMINI-STEM 6418C — YOU WILL REPORT TO CLINIC-M FOR ASSESSMENT AT 0700. CONFIRM RECEIPT.”

  Stepping to the monitor, Gem scanned her wrist and repeated the message into the speaker. It beeped twice to signify the end of the transmission, then she turned to Aria who had been waiting for her.

  “Ready?”

  Chapter Seven

  It felt good to be home. True, his stay at home would be short. His promotion and orders had come through, and his new post was a few states to the west. Major Jennings would be headed to Washington state in a week.

  “Aaron? Are you awake, honey?” His mother rapped gently on the door to his room.

  Aaron inhaled deeply and stretched out his full length on the bed.

  “Yes, Mom. I’m awake.” He strained the words through a yawn. “Come on in.”

  The door opened about halfway, and Cary Jennings poked her head through and smiled.

  “Good morning, sweetie. Listen, breakfast is on downstairs. Your father has already left for the office, and I have a few errands to run for tonight’s party. You’re welcome to join me if you’d like. I know you haven’t been out much since you got home — might be nice.”

  “Sure, Mom. That sounds good. I’ll just jump in the shower. Be down in about fifteen minutes. That work?”

  “Perfect! See you downstairs.”

  Aaron tossed the quilt back, swung his legs over the edge of the bed, and sat for a moment to get his bearings. First things first. Had to get that nasty morning taste out of his mouth.

  He walked barefoot on the cold hardwood floor out the door and down the hall to the bathroom. It was locked. He knocked.

  “Bobby? You almost done?”

  “Yeah, dude. Be out in a minute,” was the reply. The door opened, and Bobby stepped out still dripping with a towel wrapped around his waist. His dark hair wet and curly from the shower. “It’s all yours, man. Word of warning? That new toothpaste is some nasty stuff. Prepare yourself.” Bobby’s green eyes sparkled as he feigned a punch to Aaron’s gut then dodged Aaron’s return swing and made a dash down the hall to his own room, leaving a wet trail.