All We See or Seem

by Leah Sanders

  The security was a military base officer’s dream.

  On the other side of the greenbelt, lay peaceful landscaping — flowers, hedges, full-grown trees. It struck a rich, stark contrast against the harsh desertscape surrounding the compound. The lush greenery also acted as a blind, blocking any wandering stems from interacting with off-duty staff.

  The irony brought a smirk of amusement to Aaron’s lips. Apparently, the most vital difference between humans and stems was the right to privacy. The stems had none. Their every move, their every word, their every interaction was monitored, recorded, and studied. Their lives — if one could call it that — were open books.

  At this point Aaron wasn’t about to complain. He liked privacy, and since he was human, he would have some. Even if just to be alone with his thoughts.

  He and Aria walked in silence for a while. About every quarter of a mile the path would open into a cul-de-sac of staff housing, comfortable single family dwellings painted dark green to blend with the oasis-like setting.

  As they came around to the security barracks, Aria spoke. “This is where I leave you, major.” She lifted a hand to indicate Aaron’s quarters. “If you look in your desk drawer, you will find an ear communicator. You’ll need to practice the sub-vocal function. My channel is orange, code 8936. Let me know if you require anything else.” Then she turned and walked away, disappearing around the curve.

  ****

  Darkness pervaded the world around him, thick and inky. Sweeping his arms in front of him, he stumbled through the void searching… searching for something. Something vitally important.

  Where is it? Frustration and anxiety simultaneously gripped his throat in their icy grasp. His heart beat wildly, reverberating in his ears.

  He searched frantically. I must find it! The need consumed him, but he didn’t fully understand what he was looking for. Only that he had to find it.

  The blanket of night grew cumbersome and slowed his progress, like forging through a bog. His feet were like lead weights, dragging across the grassy floor. He could hear nothing beyond the ticking of his watch and the beat of his heart. In unison, they fell into a regulated rhythm.

  A rectangle of light sliced through the blackness, illuminating a doorway in the distance. The unmistakable figure of a man silhouetted in the portal appeared.

  The shadow seemed to grow larger as it moved steadily toward him. He paused and stared, but it was a mistake.

  The ground beneath his feet wrapped tendrils around his legs, holding him fast and halting his progress.

  The dark figure was suddenly upon him and exhaled a choking putrid stench into his face. “You should not be searching here. You shouldn't be in this place,” the shadow hissed in his ear.

  He tugged at his leaden feet. They wouldn’t budge.

  The shadow slurred again, “We know who you are. Take warning — we know who you are.”

  With that the shadow dissipated into oblivion, and his legs were released, sending him sprawling forward onto his face.

  Lifting his head, he glanced behind him. Light filtered through a thick fog around him now. The iron fence rose behind him to the forbidding sky.

  “WHO AM I?” His voice echoed off the wall before him.

  Out of the silence a familiar soft voice answered him. “Gryffon. My Gryffon.”

  Turning toward the voice, he saw her again. He slowly rose to his feet. They were light now, and he moved to her with purpose. As he reached where she stood, he took her hands in his and pulled her closer to him. “Gem,” he whispered, enveloping her in his arms.

  He reached up to touch her face but was stopped short by an air raid alarm blaring suddenly across the field. Red lights were flashing, and he dropped his hold on her to cover his ears. When he did so, she disappeared instantly.

  “Gem!”

  Aaron woke to the intruder alert wailing and the red lights flashing against the ceiling, jerking him abruptly into consciousness.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “Scramble!” Major Jennings barked, leaping out of his bed in an instant and pulling on his pants. He sped down the hall to the barracks and burst through the door, hollering orders to his team.

  “First squad, towers! Second squad, gates! Third squad, guns!” The barracks buzzed with movement as the men rushed to the trucks.

  ****

  “A coyote, you say?”

  “Yes, sir. A great big’un,” the lieutenant reported humorously.

  “Well, is it gone?” Aaron pressed him.

  A broad grin spread across the second officer’s face. “Oh yes, sir. It’s gone all right.”

  “Target practice?”

  “The men do like to stay sharp, sir.”

  Major Jennings shook his head and chuckled. “All right, get some rack. Tell the boys we’ll muster at 0700.”

  “Yes, sir!”

  Apparently the alarm system was a bit over-sensitive. He’d have to look into that in the morning, but for now he had to get some sleep.

  ****

  The dreams were coming more often. Gem awoke in a cold sweat. Her heart beat a hollow rhythm in her chest. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, unable to slow her own shallow breathing. Gryff, she mouthed the name. The pain of his departure was deepening, rather than fading, with time.

  Rolling back to her side, she pushed herself up to sit, slid her feet over the side of the bed to the floor and took a couple deep breaths. Breathing seemed to be more labored lately. And she could do without the necessary extra trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

  With a sigh, she stood and shuffled across the small room to the restroom.

  It would be difficult to get back to sleep after the dream. Not only were they more frequent, but they were also becoming more real, lingering in her consciousness long after she had awakened.

  Maybe a short walk outside in the fresh air. The night restrictions in Clinic-M weren’t the same as in the dormitories. Gem was encouraged to get as much exercise as she could, and they didn’t care if it was after hours. Clinic-M was secluded from the rest of the community. She slipped a robe from the hook by the door and wrapped it around her before stepping into the hall.

  There was one attendant on duty. The woman shot an emotionless glance at Gem but did not acknowledge her as she strolled through the door to the garden path. The warm night air washed over her as she stepped into the dark. Closing her eyes, she stood still, letting the breeze sweep through her hair. She could count on one hand the number of times she had been outside after dark in her lifetime — only since coming to Clinic-M.

  The dim garden lights clicked on as she sauntered onto the path and began her slow walk around the perimeter. Ms. Birger had told her the garden wasn’t watched, so she felt safe there — safe enough to say the name out loud, even if only a whisper of breath. “Gryff.” Her heart seemed to twist with the sound of his name on her own lips. She hadn’t dared to say it out loud for months. Not since he’d left.

  Gem continued around the garden path serenaded by the song of chirping crickets and the hum of the lights. The only other sound was the scratch of her soft-soled slippers against the dirt trail.

  On the far side of the garden was an iron fence separating the Clinic-M grounds from the outside border of Endfield. Vines stretched from the shrubs planted against the base of the fence up to its top, weaving around the decorative bars like weft threads on a loom. Only in the center of the fence had the vines yet to fill in. It was the only place one could see through to the outside world.

  Gem approached the fence and sat on the stone bench in front of the shrubs to allow the peace of the quiet night to soothe her troubled heart. She rested her head against the fence and closed her eyes, taking slow, even breaths of the sweet fragrance of the flowers.

  It was so quiet. So peaceful. Her eyes grew too heavy to open. She felt herself fading into sleep and the dark fog descending into her mind.

  ****

  What time was it
anyway? It felt like Aaron had been lying awake for hours, tossing and turning in a restless effort to sleep again. The alarm must’ve had more of a disturbing effect on him than he had originally thought. He squinted at the travel clock on the stand next to his bed. Almost four o’clock. At this rate, he was going to be worthless today.

  His mind was plagued with thoughts of the copy of his father. But it wasn’t just that, was it? Aaron knew there were four insurance policies for their family. One for his father. One for his mother. One for his brother… and one for him. A heavy sigh escaped his throat. He rose from the bed and walked to the window. Lifting the blinds, he gazed out into the darkness of the compound.

  Somewhere in this community there was a copy of him walking around — working, eating, sleeping, living a life. A life completely separate from his. What was that life like?

  Aaron lifted his right hand and pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes tightly. He needed some air. It was so stuffy out in this dry eastern Washington August heat. Some air. A run. Just what he needed.

  He slipped his sweats on and grabbed his shoes then headed for the door and the silent path around the community, stretching as he went. A good morning run would clear his head.

  ****

  A rhythmic pounding echoed in the distance, breaking through Gem’s solitude and drawing her into an abrupt awareness. She had drifted off. How long had she slept there in the garden? The steady thump-crunch-thump-crunch drew closer to where she sat.

  The garden lights had shut off automatically while she slept, but when she rose from the bench, they blazed back to life. Gem walked to the fence and peered through the iron bars into the inky black night.

  ****

  In the distance a light flickered on, streaming onto the recreational path. Aaron ran at a steady pace, but veered off the track as he approached the source. He thought he could make out the silhouetted form of a person leaning against the fence. Slowing to a walk, he pulled a penlight out of his jacket pocket and shined it toward the shadow. A sudden gasp broke the silence as he stepped into the fingers of light reaching through the iron bars. Then he heard it. A mere whisper, hardly a breath. But it hung there in the dark silence like a lead weight suspended over a glass table.

  “Gryff.”

  Aaron’s breath caught in his throat. With a trembling hand he lifted the small beam of light he held until it reached the face of the shadow before him, illuminating her with a soft glow, and he knew her.

  Gem.

  The thought reverberated in his brain. All the blood seemed to drain from his extremities, sending an icy chill coursing through him. His feet drew him right up to the bars, moving with a motivation of their own and stopping only when he reached the fence.

  Gem stared back at him through the barrier. Her eyes were wide with wonder as they traced the lines of his face. A small hand slipped between the bars, reaching slowly to his face, as if any sudden movement might cause the apparition to disappear. Aaron held his breath. He didn’t move. His fear was the same.

  God, don’t let this be a dream, he prayed. His eyes closed as her fingertips made contact with his cheek; he released his breath through pursed lips and rested his head against her palm as he lifted his own hand to hold hers against his cheek.

  Opening his eyes again, he gazed at her, this girl who had haunted his dreams for weeks. This couldn’t be a dream. He hadn’t slept all night. Fresh emotion ran down her cheeks, but the smile lit up her face.

  “Gryff,” she whispered again.

  Aaron put his other hand through the fence and cupped her face, wiping her tears away with his thumb. “I’m here.” His voice was so low, he wasn’t sure if he had said it or merely thought it. Releasing her hand, he slipped his through the bars and smoothed the wayward auburn strands from her face. Her hands came back to rest on the bars separating them. Aaron stepped closer. He lifted her chin and gently urged her nearer as he lowered his lips to hers. She trembled under his kiss, as if it took her by surprise. Lips, sweet and perfect as he imagined, tentatively moved against his. His breath hitched in his chest as he tenderly warmed her lips with his own. It felt like home; she felt like home. He held her face with his hands, willing her with all his being to stay.

  When he finally released her, she stumbled back and put her hand to her lips, eyes wide with shock. Aaron was still speechless, but he reached toward her in desperation, wanting to console her, to tell her it was okay. She retreated from him, blinking as though in a daze, and finally spun on her heel and disappeared into the dim garden.

  Left alone in the dark, Aaron grasped the iron bars in his fists and rested his forehead on the fence, closing his eyes. A cold emptiness swept over him along with a tidal wave of disappointment in his loss. His voice returned to him, and he groaned into the desolate garden. “Gem.” And he knew, dream or no dream, he had found her.

  Chapter Twenty

  It was a dream. It was just a dream. Gem’s mind raced, and her heart seemed to be forcing its way out of her chest. Her abdomen constricted as she rushed back through the garden to the clinic door. There was no air outside. The dream seemed to have sucked all the oxygen from the garden and from Gem’s lungs. She couldn’t get enough, and her rapid breathing caused everything to spin around her. A gray haze threatened to engulf her, but she fought it as she extended her wrist for the door scanner. The door slid open, and she stepped inside, struggling for every breath.

  The attendant took one look at her and leaped into action, flying around the counter and taking her by the arm. She navigated Gem to a wheelchair parked by the wall and eased her into the seat.

  “Deep breaths,” she ordered. Gem tried to obey. “Are you hurt?”

  Gem shook her head and lifted a hand to her stomach. The attendant seemed to understand. Stepping back to her desk, she spoke a few words into the monitor, so fervently it took Gem by surprise. She had never thought the EROMI staff capable of such intensity.

  Unfortunately, there was no time to ponder the woman’s behavior. As the attendant returned, asking her questions and checking her pulse, the words slurred together in Gem’s mind and darkness enveloped her.

  ****

  The darkness began receding from the encroaching dawn long before Aaron turned from the wrought iron fence and sauntered back to the staff trail, casting expectant glances over his shoulder, hoping to see Gem standing there, hoping to hear her call the name again — a name that rang true in his soul though he knew it wasn’t his.

  It hadn’t been a dream. It couldn’t have been. He didn’t want it to be. But all the dreams ended the same way. She was out of his reach.

  Cursing, he pounded his right fist into his left palm once and stalked back in the direction of the barracks, quickening his pace until he was again sprinting.

  He arrived out of breath, sweat dripping from him. A quick glance at his watch told him he would be expected at the commissary soon. His mind was a mixture of duty, curiosity, and confusion.

  All he wanted to do was find Gem, to discover why she inhabited his every thought, both waking and sleeping. Instinctively, he knew he would have to be careful in his search for her. Stealth came naturally to him in his line of work, but given his position as Chief Head of Security and his background in intelligence, the discrepancy between what he was being told and what he sensed was actually going on here was too great, and it disturbed him.

  A shower. And then breakfast. If he was quick, he’d have time to do a little reconnaissance before meeting with his men at seven. He’d only been here a day, but he might as well find out how far his security clearance could get him on EROMI’s network.

  ****

  “Another close call.”

  “What was she doing this time?”

  “Walking in the garden.”

  “At four o’clock in the morning?”

  “The pregnant stems are encouraged to exercise whenever the mood strikes.”

  “The attendant said she was out there for over an hour.
”

  “Yes. But the lights went out at one point, which means she had been stationary for some time. Perhaps she fell asleep.”

  “I want her watched more closely. Put Ms. Birger in her room.”

  “But I need her with other—”

  “We need twenty-four hour surveillance. We’ve put enough money into this case, and the client is… anxious. There’s no time to start the process again.”

  “And what about Ms. Birger’s other cases?”

  “I’m sure you can delegate them to another capable agent.”

  ****

  “How are you feeling this morning?” Ms. Birger’s warm smile greeted Gem as she fluttered to consciousness. “I heard it was a rough night.”

  Gem nodded, still groggy from her episode during the night. She stretched and struggled to sit up in her bed. Ms. Birger moved to help her, grasping her arm and situating the pillows behind her back.

  “Do you remember what happened?”

  Gem shrugged. Her voice was raspy with fatigue. “I went out for some fresh air. I fell asleep on the bench.” She couldn’t meet Ms. Birger’s gaze. Why did she feel like she had done something wrong? It was a dream.

  Still. It wasn’t like anything she’d dreamed before. And it felt so real. Her fingers went to her lips involuntarily.

  “What is it?” The question jolted her, and her hand dropped to her lap.

  Shaking her head, Gem looked into Ms. Birger’s eyes. “Nothing. I mean, I don’t really know. Just a dream, I guess.”

  Ms. Birger frowned. “What kind of dream?”

  “Gryff was here. In the garden with me. Well, not in the garden, but on the other side of the fence.” Gem glanced down at her hands in her lap. They were trembling. Why had that dream feel so real? Why could she still feel the warmth of his lips on hers?

  “Did he speak to you? In the dream?”

  When Gem hesitated, Ms. Birger took her hand fiercely. “Gem.” Her gaze shot back to Ms. Birger’s piercing expression. “Did he say anything? What happened?” The reaction seemed strangely unwarranted.