Lies Inside

by Lindsey Gray

  Finn looked in his eyes and saw the same expression his father had, anger mixed with concern. Finn’s eyes fell to his lap. He couldn’t control his erratic breathing no matter how hard he tried.

  “I was abused…sexually.” Finn let his head fall back against the couch as his eyes filled with fresh tears. He felt Aiden squeeze his shoulder as Lucy sat on the arm of the couch, her fingers running through his hair.

  “When did this happen?” Finn couldn’t see his expression, but he could hear the tone in his voice; it was hard and cold.

  “The last time? It was…last December, but the first time was almost five years ago.” Finn brought his head down to his hands that were clasp together at his chin. “He was one of my professors at Two Roads.”

  “Viktor Karpov,” Aiden spit through his teeth.

  “I see.”

  Finn was unable to read the blank expression on Lane’s face. He reached for Lucy’s hand and held it to his lips.

  “The guy even sent pictures of it to Finn. We have them all on a CD.” Aiden was trying to break the agonizing silence.

  “Pictures of the acts?”

  “Yes.” Finn nodded.

  “I will have to get the Feds involved. I have a friend at the bureau. I can call to get the ball rolling. Do you know where this Karpov guy is?”

  “At his in-laws with his wife and two girls. They were all at the party last night. I think I can get him back here. I have an idea.” Murphy’s brain seemed to be working in overdrive.

  Finn knew what he had to do. “Let me talk to him.”

  “No, Finn. I can’t stand for you to even be in the same room with him.” Lucy sobbed at the thought as she crawled in Finn’s lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

  Finn kissed the top of Lucy’s head. He looked and examined Lane’s face. He knew what Lane was thinking. “It might be the only way to get him to admit what he’s done.”

  Before all hell broke loose, Finn felt he needed to get lost in himself for a while. He and Aiden went up to his room while Lucy went to gather the rest of the family. He sat down with his guitar while Aiden stretched out on the bed.

  Finn eased back into a song he had learned years before. Each chord, each caress of the strings filled him with an overwhelming sensation. Simply put, love. He poured his soul into making each chord perfect in succession. He needed to strip himself of all the pain, purge all the anger and guilt and just play. He felt the joy and excitement of each chord until it came to the most astounding conclusion.

  As soon as he finished, another sound filled the room. Aiden had pulled out his own guitar and started playing one of his favorite songs. It was a beautifully sad song, but always made Finn feel better. Aiden didn’t sing as he usually did. He closed his eyes and let his fingers do all the work. When he was done, he put his hand over the strings and gave Finn a quick smile.

  “If I didn’t have Jack…wow,”

  Rylan said as she walked into the room and sat next to Aiden. “That was, like…incredible.”

  “Thanks. It’s one of Finn’s favorites.” He stood up to put his guitar back in its case.

  “Rylan!” Finn’s outburst interrupted her assessment of Aiden’s backside. “Where’s Jack?”

  “He’s on his way. I decided to go ahead and come up. Everyone seems really upset.”

  “Come here.” Finn held out his hand, motioning for her to sit next to him on the window seat. He took her hand as she sat down. “You and I have always been really close. Much closer than I’ve ever been with any of our friends. You just get me. Kind of like Lucy does, but in a sisterly sort of way.”

  She grasped his hand tighter. “Finn, you’re starting to scare me.”

  Finn had been dreading this moment for almost five years. He looked into her deep brown eyes, glistening with unshed tears. Aiden held a box of tissues, preparing for the dam to break.

  Finn took a deep breath before letting it all go. He retold the story he had given his parents that morning. He saw the hurt fill her eyes as she cried, but she stayed silent the entire time.

  Aiden kept pulling tissues and handing them to Rylan as she needed. When Finn finally got to a point where he could stop and take a breath, he looked up. There was no pity or compassion, just complete unadulterated rage.

  “Tell me whose blood is going to be on my hands once I find him.”

  Finn didn’t think she noticed she was almost crushing his fingers between her own. He slipped his hand out of her grasp and put both her hands in her lap. “It was Viktor.”

  He could see the shiver run down her spine as Lucy and Jack entered the room.

  “I think I’m going to be sick.” Rylan got up and ran to the bathroom.

  Finn nodded to Lucy, and she went in after her.

  Jack looked at the bathroom door as Lucy closed it behind her. “Is she okay?”

  “She’s very upset. You might want to have a seat. I’ve got something important to tell you.”

  Rylan was sobbing and throwing up at the same time. Lucy wet down a towel and sat down beside her. She put the cool towel on the back of Rylan’s neck as she started heaving again.

  When she was finished and had flushed the toilet, she took the towel from Lucy and met her eyes.

  “How could you know and not tell me?”

  “I couldn’t. He barely admitted it to me, and Aiden found out by accident. He was just coming to terms with who he is and was about to talk to the family. Then, Viktor showed up last night.”

  Rylan shuddered at the sound of his name. “I danced with him. So did Mom. Dad was dancing with the girls. Oh, God. The girls.”

  Lucy shook her head vigorously from side to side. “Finn doesn’t think he would hurt them.”

  “But he’s not sure?” Rylan said, voicing their uncertainty.

  “No, not sure.” Lucy remembered how he caressed his daughter’s cheek. The vision sent a chill down her spine. “My dad is getting a hold of the FBI, and they’re planning something.” Lucy tried to shake the vision of Viktor’s sick smile.

  “What are they planning?”

  “I don’t know, but I don’t think we’ll like it.”

  “How are you with all this? God, you’ve known for awhile now.”

  Lucy wiped her hand across her cheek, tucking a few stray hairs behind her ear. “I won’t let him take any more away from Finn. I’m being patient and supportive, but there is no way in hell I will let that monster ruin our future. Not now when everything is coming together.”

  “What’s coming together?”

  “I had promised you’d be the second to know about anything like this, but Aiden was already there, so we told him first. Then your parents.”

  “You told my parents?” She clasped her hand over her mouth flabbergasted.

  Lucy rolled her eyes. “No, not about sex, even though they had their assumptions too.” Lucy caressed Rylan’s tear streaked cheek. “Finn proposed last night. Here, on this very floor.”

  “He did? Really?” Shock rang through her voice at the sudden announcement.

  “Yep. No ring. No down on bended knee. Just the overwhelming desire for us to be together forever.” Lucy took in a breath then let out a sweet sigh. “He even promised to take me to Italy.”

  “Then, we’re really going to be sisters?”

  “Looks that way.”

  Rylan started screaming as she brought Lucy into a hug. Seconds later, Jack was barreling through the door.

  “What the hell?” He looked completely confused.

  “They’re happy screams,” Lucy assured him.

  “What the hell does she have to be happy about? God, Lucy. I can’t believe you!” Jack spit the words filled with anger. “Finn told me everything about Two Roads and Viktor, and you two are in here rejoicing?”

  “I hadn’t got to the good news yet.” Finn was standing in the doorway. He patted Jack on the back. “You okay to come back out?”

  “Yes, now I can.” Jack helped Rylan up.


  Lucy and Finn settled on the window seat as the others looked to them for another explanation.

  “After everything that has happened, the one thing I know with absolute certainty is that I love this woman more than my own life. I have asked her to marry me.” He kissed Lucy’s left hand. “And she has accepted.”

  “That’s what the scream was about, honey. Don’t be mad at Lucy.”

  Jack shook his head. “I’m sorry, Luce. You got to know if you’re happy, I’m happy, right?”

  “Yeah. It’s fine. You didn’t know.” Finn wrapped his arm around Lucy as the bedroom door opened.

  Lane’s eyes surveyed the room. The sight of the girl’s tear stained cheeks and red noses made him slightly uncomfortable. “Everything all…we’ll…you all…getting along okay?”

  “Yes.” When they’d told Lane about their engagement earlier, he didn’t seem happy, but so many things had happened that day. Lucy knew her father well enough to realize he would share his true feelings about her engagement later when they got home.

  “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you kids to leave for awhile. The FBI will be here to interview Finn, and they really want him alone. Just Claire and Murphy. You understand?”

  Lucy did understand, though it didn’t make it any easier. She had barely left Finn’s side in over a day. They wouldn’t let her hold his hand while they asked him about the most intimate details of his life.

  Finn stood up and brought her arms around his neck. “Whenever I start feeling like I can’t handle it, if it gets too much, I’ll remember you in this moment with your arms around me and your breath on my neck. Safe.”

  Lucy brought her lips to his before they rested their foreheads against each other’s. “I’ll be waiting. Maybe we can find a wedding dress. We’ll probably be looking online the whole time.”

  “No toilet paper, right?”

  Lucy smiled. “Right.” She pulled back to look into his eyes. His whole face was smiling, eyes sparkling and everything. At that moment, they both realized he was finally strong enough to do whatever he had to do.

  Every minute felt like an hour. Finn waited and waited and waited. He felt as if he really needed the rum and cola that he was pretending to drink. He wanted to be drunk for the first time in a long time. He didn’t want to face what was coming next. He needed to remember Lucy, her arms, her skin. He could do it. Just one more night and everything would be all right. The door finally opened. It closed and he heard it lock before he turned. He knew who it was.

  Viktor came into view, and Finn began the most important performance of his life.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” Finn knew why he was there, but he was interested in what Viktor would say.

  “Your father tells me he wants you to come back to California. He’s afraid you and that girl are getting too close. From what I saw last night, I’d have to agree.”

  “You’re jealous.” Finn slurred his words as he pretended having trouble standing up. When Finn fell back on the couch, Viktor sat next to him. Finn already felt his skin crawl, and Viktor hadn’t even touched him.

  “Your father said the two of you have been friends for years. I must say, I was surprised. You never mentioned her to me.”

  Viktor was jealous. He wanted to know Lucy meant nothing to Finn. Was she his toy, like Finn was his?

  Finn wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. “I won’t violate the beauty of even her name by uttering it in your presence.”

  Viktor sat back and put one arm on the back of the couch. “Come on, Finn. Don’t be that way. We’ve always been so close.”

  That’s when Finn felt Viktor’s finger caress his forearm. Finn jerked it away and stood up, successfully making it over to his desk. Finn had a bottle of Rum and a two-liter of cola sitting there. He poured himself a drink. “You want a drink?”

  “Your favorite if I recall.”

  “Yeah, funny. Me making you drinks. Usually the other way around. Mine don’t come with that something extra though.” Finn handed him the drink, sloshing it a little against the sides. He sat back down on the couch and tossed his drink down in one gulp. “Ah. That really hit the spot.”

  “How many of those have you had?”

  Viktor needed to know when Finn was weakest. He always knew Finn’s limit. He was always right there before Finn blacked out or passed out completely.

  “I lost count around ten.”

  “Is this because of Lucy?”

  “Don’t you dare say her name.” Finn voice was low and husky as he turned and pointed his finger at him. Viktor sat back and took a sip of his drink. Finn had put the real stuff in his.

  “I love her, and I want to be here with her and my family.”

  Viktor let out a soft laugh as he shook his head. “Things haven’t been the same since you left.” He dragged his finger across his lips.

  “Camille not doing it for you these days?” Finn sneered.

  Viktor’s finger dropped to his chin, making its way across his Adam’s apple. “She’s not you.”

  Finn dropped his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. He needed to do more, be braver. He pretended to laugh as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, I have a dick.”

  Finn heard Viktor adjust his position. Finn lifted his head and saw Viktor had moved closer.

  He always made Finn say certain things to him. Finn knew Viktor was turned on by the look he gave him when he rested his hand on Finn’s forearm. His touch burned, but Finn didn’t move. He had to see how far Viktor would take it.

  “You know, you’re the only boy for me.”

  Finn swallowed hard and blinked his eyes slowly as Viktor trailed his fingers up Finn’s arm. He knew what Viktor was planning, and his ears started to burn in an all too familiar way. He knew even in his own room, knowing Finn’s father was in the house, Viktor would try something.

  “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t take being so far away from you.” Viktor’s hand cupped Finn’s cheek.

  Finn couldn’t help the tear that escaped from the corner of his eye. “You know you’re ruining my life. Is that what you really want?”

  “I love you, Finn.” He stroked his fingers through Finn’s hair, terrifying him while he caused each hair on the back of his neck to stand on end. “Come back and take that scholarship at UCLA. You don’t even have to live in the dorms. We can be together.”

  “Yeah, like that’ll happen.”

  “I still have our room all set up. It’s waiting for you. It’s so lonely being down there without you. I only have your pictures to entertain me.”

  “Thanks for that. Veronica saw one and told the whole school I was gay.”

  “You can’t deny yourself, Finn.”

  He was so close Finn could feel his breath against his neck. Finn pushed him away. “No matter how much you might want it, I’m not yours anymore. I never was. I’m hers.”

  Finn got up to pour himself another drink. Finn heard Viktor laugh. “I never said I wouldn’t share. That Lucy is a beautiful woman. Those breasts, that tight little ass. I bet you had fun with that.”

  Finn turned to lunge at him, to rip his throat out, but there was a knock at the door.

  “Finn? Can I come in?” Finn was never so happy to hear his father’s voice in his entire life.

  He unlocked the door and let him in with the drink in his hand. “Come in. Join the party.” Finn turned back to making his drink.

  “Finn, my God. You’re drinking again? After what happened, you promised.”

  Viktor perked up. “What happened?”

  “He almost got himself killed. A few nights after he got home, we had to take him to the emergency room. We thought he had alcohol poisoning. He swore it was a one time thing.”

  “I lied.” He hadn’t lied. Finn did get drunk when he came home before Christmas, but not as bad as his father had described. Finn swore he wouldn’t drink like that again. He was even a little uncomfortable about pretending to be
drunk.

  Murphy grabbed the drink out of Finn’s hand. He slammed it down on the desk before turning to Viktor. “I’m sorry for dragging you away from Camille and the girls. I guess we need more help here than we thought. Maybe going back to California isn’t the best idea.”

  “Don’t count it out yet, Murphy. Finn could come to live with Camille and me. We’d be sure to keep an eye on him.”

  Finn couldn’t believe he was still trying. The guy was truly sick.

  “I’ll call you next week. We can talk then. Right now, I think Finn has more than a little explaining to do.” Murphy grabbed the bottle of rum from Finn’s desk. “We are going to talk after I show Viktor out.”

  Viktor came over and patted Finn on the shoulder. “I hope we’ll be seeing you soon.”

  Finn shrugged his hand off. Murphy pulled Viktor by the shoulder and out the door.

  Finn went to the couch and collapsed. He turned to his bookcase. “Please tell me you guys got that.”

  Lane slowly opened the door, and at first, Finn was afraid Viktor hadn’t left. “It’s me.”

  Finn got up and walked over to him. “Did they get it?”

  “Almost all of it. That’s why we had your dad come in. The feed from the video camera went down.”

  “Fuck.” Finn turned around and threw his fist through the wall.

  “Calm down, Finn.” Lane grabbed him by both of his shoulders and led him over to the window seat. He threw Finn down as Finn clutched at his pulsating hand. “They think we have enough with what we got along with the pictures to get a judge to sign a search warrant. If we find the pictures anywhere in his house or in his office, we’ve got him.”

  “I just…shit!” His hand was really hurting. He could feel it start to swell. The cuts bled as he held it to his chest.

  Murphy came back in and noticed the hole in the wall and then Finn’s hand. “Finn.” He shook his head as he examined it. “I don’t think it’s broken, but it’s going to swell. We should get those cuts cleaned up.”

  “I need Lucy. Go find her for me, please.”

  Lucy had spent most of the day chewing her fingernails off waiting for news of Finn. The rest of the gang had gone back to the Butler house. Lucy tried to distract herself with hundreds of different dresses and china patterns, but she couldn’t stop wondering if Finn was alright. Was he imagining his arms around her? Every once in awhile, Jack would call their dad for updates. All he would say was that they weren’t done yet.