But First, Coffee

by Sarah Darlington

  I was just about to leave and write a terrible review for this place on TripAdvisor next chance I got, when the man raised his eyebrows and glanced at something across the street. A bar. Holy crap. The bar’s name was Joe’s Bar. What a coincidence. Kitty told me to look for a bar close by and there one was.

  “Oh my God, thank you,” I said to the man.

  “I didn’t say nothing,” he shouted after me as I left him and raced out the door.

  I nearly got hit by a tractor trailer as I ran across the four-lane road that separated the motel from the bar across the street.

  Fueled by adrenaline, I didn’t hesitate—when I probably should have—as I pushed open the doors to Joe’s Bar. Bikers in black leather were everywhere. And cigarette smoke clouded the air when I was pretty sure smoking in public places like this had been made illegal years ago.

  I was one of the only women in the room. Everyone else was either a grizzly biker dude—with a beard like a mountain man’s—or a biker woman. I stuck out in my white pantsuit and the dramatic red statement necklace I’d decided to wear today. Heads turned and eyes watched me as I entered and as I cautiously stepped deeper into the room.

  I should have texted and waited for Kitty. There was no doubt in my mind Kitty could have handled a place and people like this.

  “Hi, honey.” A younger man with a red beard and a black bandana approached me. “You from out of town?”

  “I’m looking for a friend.”

  “I can be your friend.”

  Oh God. I swallowed. My eyes scanned the room for Joe, but I didn’t see him anywhere.

  “Um, no thank you,” I told him. “Just looking for my friend.”

  “A pretty girl like you. I bet you could handle lots of friends at once,” he teased.

  A few of his buddies laughed.

  Just then arms grabbed my waist from behind, circling me tight. I was about to scream and fight them off, when a voice smooth like, well, coffee hit my ears. “She’s my friend, guys, back off.”

  “Ah, Joe,” said Red Beard. “It’s your boss woman. Alright, man!” They all cheered and raised their beers, and then immediately left me alone. I guess Joe knew how to make friends everywhere he went. And I guess he’d also told them about me.

  His arms were still around me. He brushed my hair to side, pressing his lips lightly to my skin. “I missed you so damn much, woman.” His breath was hot on my neck. It felt really, really ridiculously nice. Little shivers shot all through my body. It would have been easy to give in to him. But before I could decide whether I wanted to shove him off me or drag him into the nearest bathroom to let him do whatever he damn well pleased to me, he dropped his grip and pulled away from me.

  I turned around to face him.

  Oh man, he was a whole new level of sexy while intoxicated.

  He had a few more days’ worth of stubble coating his jawline. His hair was perfectly disheveled. The smile on his lips could drop panties. And his eyes—there was something easy and laidback about them. Seeing him like this caused a ping of jealousy to rocket through me. I wondered what he’d been up to these last two days. Or, more accurately, who he’d been up to these last two days.

  “Come and play darts with me,” he said nodding in the direction of an old dart board in the back corner of the bar.

  I didn’t want to argue with him or make a big scene or lecture him about ruining his sobriety. I figured when Kitty showed she could play bad-cop. Instead, I followed him a little deeper into the bar.

  Two guys were already in the middle of a game. We sat close by, watching.

  “I’ve never played before,” I confessed. “But it doesn’t seem too hard.”

  “I have years of practice. I’ll show you how it’s done. On my resume, I could write . . . Skills: knowledge of useless law facts, makes a mean cup of coffee, and champion of bar games.” He ticked off his skills on his fingers.

  I laughed. “In that order?”

  He grinned at me. “Yes, in that order.”

  I’d expected to find him in a ditch somewhere, completely screwed up out of his mind, maybe throwing up. Either that, or Doug had kidnapped and killed him. About a million different scenarios, each one worse than the next, crossed my mind when Kitty called me. Happily playing darts wasn’t one of them.

  “Wait, are you sober?”

  I hadn’t seen him touch a drink since I’d entered the bar. Unless he was the most put-together drunk on the planet, he seemed pretty close to his normal self.

  “Yes, I’m sober. Did you think I was drunk?”

  “Well . . . we are in a bar, Joe.”

  “Nah. I came in here with every intention of drinking after you left. But I sat down, started talking with Joe over there.” He pointed to the elderly man working behind the bar. “His name is Joe, too. Go figure. This is his bar. Anyway, he’s twenty-two years sober. Can you believe that? I find it incredible that he owns a bar and still maintains his sobriety. Still, even after hearing Joe’s story, I ordered a drink. That drink sat in front of me for like an hour, not moving. I never ended up touching it. So, that was that. I couldn’t bring myself to drink.”

  I was proud he hadn’t touched the drink, but that didn’t explain his behavior. “But you’ve been missing for two days. What have you been doing if you haven’t been drinking?”

  “Hanging out here with my new friends.”

  He seemed fine and happy and completely over and done with me. And it hurt my heart.

  “What about your job?” I asked. “I guess that meant nothing to you from the start.”

  “Pretty sure I don’t have one.”

  “Pretty sure you do.”

  “Seriously?” He rubbed at his newly grown facial hair. It was almost long enough to fit in with this biker crowd, looking similar to how it did when I first met him. “I still have a job. After everything?”

  “Yeah. You still have a job if you want it. Was I really supposed to lose you and lose you as an employee all on the same day?”

  His jaw clenched and he looked down at his hands. Then after a moment, he lightly touched my knee, leaning slightly closer. His eyes met mine. They were sincere and intense as he said, “You haven’t lost me as either. I’m still right where you left me.”

  Dammit.

  Damn him.

  Because unshed tears burned behind my eyes. It took every ounce of my strength to fight them off. And the smoky, dingy air of this place wasn’t helping, either. I think Joe noticed, despite how hard I tried to hide it from him.

  “Let’s go. It’s time to go.” He stood up. “Give me one minute first.” He climbed up on his chair, standing tall. “Guys, thanks for letting me hang with you these last two days. It means everything to me.” He raised his hand as if he were raising a glass. “Cheers. I gotta go. Joe, I appreciate everything,” he said, turning his attention and sincerity to the man behind the bar.

  “You’re welcome back anytime,” the man said.

  “Come back and visit,” someone else shouted.

  “Yes, I will be back.”

  He hopped down off the chair. He took my hand, saying no more, and he led me out into the fresh evening air. The sun had just started to set in the time it had taken me to drive all the way here and find Joe. Now it was starting to get dark.

  The bugs were singing in the surrounding trees. Joe held my hand tightly, lacing our fingers together, as he led me safely back across the street. I had to admit, my heart was going a little wild.

  He was back to his cocky, confident, charismatic self. The Joe I’d met when he first walked into my office. And he was a hard Joe to resist. A hard Joe to stay angry with. I admired the way he’d looked his demons in the eye and, basically, told them to fuck off.

  “Joe.” I tugged on his hand, getting him to slow down. We were right back to where we were on Monday. Same parking lot, nearly in the same spot. I dropped his hand so that I could fish the Post-it notes I’d brought out of my pocket. “Did you mean all these?�
��

  Just then, Kitty pulled into the parking lot like a bat out of hell, in Abe’s truck no less. He must have let her borrow it. The moment the truck came to a full stop, she pushed open her door, walked across the gravel, and slapped Joe across the face. Hard. I gasped, not expecting it. Then she engulfed him in a giant bear hug. “I was worried sick, you asshole.”

  Tears formed in his eyes while he hugged her back, though he still watched me. It was the first time I’d ever seen him get emotional. And I wasn’t sure who his tears were for—me or for Kitty. Or maybe for both of us.

  Feeling a little awkward, and a little silly for getting them out in the first place, I shoved the notes back in my pocket.

  “He’s not even drunk, Kitty,” I announced. “He’s perfectly sober.”

  “What?” She pulled away, smacking him on the head. “Then try answering your phone, dumbass.”

  “How else was I supposed to get you both here?” He smiled mischievously as if he knew all along we’d both show up. “Now, c’mon. I’ve developed a plan for how we can take down Doug. Together.”

  CHAPTER 22

  JOE

  I had my arm around Lana. She was letting me put my arm around her shoulders. I took this as a very good sign. I took the fact that she’d even shown up here at all today as a good sign. Her soft, sweet, womanly smell filled my nose, making me almost intoxicated by her nearness. It was so good having her close to me again. Hopefully we could solve this Doug thing together, and I’d have her back in my bed, back in my arms, back in my heart—all of it for good this time.

  She didn’t know it, but a big part of my motivation to stay sober these last two days had everything to do with her. I had to keep her safe. I had to fight for her. And I couldn’t do that drunk. She said Doug was my personal problem, but she was wrong. He was both our problems. We needed to be rid of his grudge against her, once and for all.

  “Okay,” I told the girls as we approached my motel door, “my microphone-wire thing is in the room. I’ve been acting out scenes and playing music for Doug the last two days. It’s in there right now listening to the TV.”

  Kitty brushed her hair out of her eyes. “So Doug still thinks all is right in the world?”

  “Yes. He thinks I’m off on a bender just like you both thought. And I want to keep it that way for now. So let me go grab it and move it outside. Sometimes I like to put it on the edge of the woods at night, let him listen to the crickets, let him think I passed out in the woods.”

  I took a quiet moment to hurry inside, grabbing ‘Doug’s ears.’ Then I rushed him over to his spot in the woods.

  I jogged back to my motel room, back inside. Kitty now laid in my bed, making herself comfortable. Lana stood, leaning against the small wooden desk against one of the walls.

  The room was your standard motel room—two queen beds, an outdated TV, and a bathroom. Not bad for only forty-nine ninety-nine a night. Free breakfast. Free WiFi.

  I walked over to the desk. I’d left my pad of paper with ‘the plan’ on it there. Lana’s fine ass was nearly sitting on it. Her cheeks instantly turned a cute crimson color as I reached around her, needing her to move.

  I don’t know what had changed. If she needed a little bit of time to process or if seeing me again had helped. But I got this sense that I had just as much effect over her as ever . . . maybe more so. She had a new cute nervousness around me. And I fucking loved it.

  I had my pad of paper and pen, both with the motel’s logo printed on them. My plan was written on the pad of paper. But I took a moment, pealing a blank page from the back, and I used it like it was one of my Post-it’s to write her something.

  I love that you kept my notes. I meant every word.

  And the blush on your cheeks is driving me wild.

  I handed it over to her and watched silently as she read it. And dammit, if it didn’t make her cheeks turn pink all over again.

  Hell yes. I had her back.

  “Joe,” Kitty interrupted, “are you going to read it to us? Or are you going to eye-fuck your girlfriend all day. I’m waiting on this brilliant plan over here.”

  I didn’t correct Kitty. Instead, I plopped down on the bed opposite to Kitty’s and started reading. “Here goes. Step one: Lana and I fly to New York City and meet with Leo Maddox. Step two: Convince my old friend Leo his cousin is evil, and get him on our side. Step three: Meanwhile, back in Portland, Kitty takes the microphone. Talks to Doug through it. Pretends she stole it from me. Convinces him to meet her about the tapes, with Larry as her muscle, of course. They meet somewhere public—”

  “Wait. Wait. Wait,” Kitty interrupted. She chucked a pillow at me from the other bed. “What kind of dumbass plan is this?”

  “That worries me, too,” Lana added. “Why would you send Kitty to him?”

  “Here’s my reasoning,” I started, shooting Kitty’s pillow back at her. “Doug and I met, and he gave me back the least offensive tape of Kitty’s five tapes. The one that doesn’t show her face. I haven’t seen them, so I have to take his word on that.”

  “It doesn’t show my face,” Kitty added, “but what does this have to do with anything?”

  “Let me finish.” I was on a roll now. “So, initially, he claimed he’d uploaded this fifth video of Kitty to some porn website. Then, at the end of our meeting, he tells me that, no, he never uploaded it. Then he gives me the video back as a show of good faith. Specifically tells me to give it to Kitty to burn. I thought about it, and I thought about it some more. Why wouldn’t he just have uploaded that video? It would have shown me he was serious. Again, it didn’t show her face, so really, of the five videos, that one he could use while still not technically breaking his side of our agreement. Then, on top of that, he said something about Zane, the guy Kitty was with in the videos. He tracked Zane down and made sure his copies were the only copies. He said something like, ‘After I was finished with him,’ making it sound like he beat Zane around or something. At the time, I was too freaked out that he’d caught me with Lana to process it. But the way he talked about you, Kitty, was protective. I think he might have a crush.”

  Kitty laughed out loud. “That’s hilarious. You’re ridiculous.”

  “I don’t know.” Lana moved from her spot by the desk and sat on the edge of my bed. “I only knew Doug one semester at college,” she told us. “We had a class together and quickly became friends. He was the first person I told about my dream to start Java Beans, and how I planned to run it out of my parents’ shed that summer. Anyway, he was very supportive, which I needed that at the time. But he quickly grew obsessive. Like overnight. He wanted to spend every second he could with me, and I just didn’t return those feelings. My point is, he fell hard and he fell fast. And I always felt like I never gave him any signs that I liked him more than a friend in return. I think it’s possible he could fall fast like that again. And he does have a few very explicit videos of you to help nudge those feelings along.”

  “Great.” Kitty flopped her arms down on the bed. “Now the psycho likes me. Perfect. And Joe wants to send me to meet him. Even better.”

  “I don’t want to perpetuate his feelings for you, but maybe he’d give you your tapes back if you pleaded to him. Asked nicely. Of course, you meet somewhere public. You bring your big friend Larry along, for protection, while making it clear that you just want your videos back and to move on.”

  “So you just want to shift his obsession off Lana and onto me?”

  “No!” Jesus, that was be the last thing I wanted. “Of course not.”

  “What are the rest of your steps after that?” Lana asked.

  “Alright.” I went back to my list. “Step four, after hopefully getting the videos back, we lawyer up. Doug’s stalking isn’t legal. We can take a few steps against him. Step five, and this is where Leo comes in. The Maddox family is all about good publicity for their company. They can’t have some crazy relative running around blackmailing people. Leo threatens to tell the whole f
amily unless Doug stops once and for all. And step six . . .” I trailed off because I didn’t want to read step six out loud. “That’s it.”

  “What’s step six?” Kitty asked.

  “It’s personal.” I pocketed my list. “Anyway, this whole plan is contingent on Kitty getting the tapes back. All of this is a long shot.”

  She made a face. “Well, I guess, at the end of the day, the tapes are my own fault anyway.”

  “They aren’t your fault,” I corrected her. “Some loser boyfriend of yours made the sex-tapes when you weren’t sober. Not only that, from what Doug mentioned, they’re pretty graphic. How much of the stuff that occurred in them was even consensual? Kitty, after we deal with Doug, the real fucking fish to fry is Zane. None of what he did to you is okay.”

  I pushed Kitty too far. I think her coping mechanism for the shit in her life was denial, and I’d just made a crack in that denial. I knew my rape was exactly that—rape. She still didn’t look at any of the stuff that happened with Zane as foul play. Even Doug, of all people, saw it for what it was.

  Kitty jumped off the bed. “I’m a big girl; I knew what I was getting into. Instead of all your detailed ‘six steps’ crap, maybe we should just tell Doug to go screw himself and let him upload my tapes. I don’t care who sees them. I don’t know why you care so much! I need to go. I’m supposed to return Abe’s truck tonight. You two are on your own with your crazy-ass plan.”

  She stormed out of the motel room, slamming the door as hard as she could as she went, making the walls rattle. I didn’t know if I needed to chase her or let her have her space.

  While I was hesitating, Lana got up. “I’ll go talk to her. You stay here. She probably doesn’t want her big brother—the person she looks up to the most in the world, whose opinion matters the most to her—to tell her she’s a victim of sexual abuse. Let me try.”

  I stared at Lana. She always had a way of surprising me. She was confident in times of crisis, the way I wasn’t always, and I found it very attractive. My six steps—maybe they were a little out there—but with Lana by my side, I was positive we could make this plan work.