Conviction (Wated Series Book 2)

by Lance, Amanda

  “Give my Dad love, okay? Assure him I’m alive and all that?” I tried laughing but it was obviously forced, hazed and distorted. I wished I had spent more time watching Melinda practicing expressions in the mirror.

  Obviously, I wasn’t as practiced a liar as I thought.

  His booming voice stopped me at the door.

  “Addie?”

  Frankly, I didn’t know his happy-go-lucky voice could boom.

  I gulped. “Yeah?”

  “You’d tell me if something was wrong right?”

  I nodded. “Absolutely.”

  Chapter 9

  Charlie and I wandered around the winery like two ordinary people. Originally, we started out with the tour, but ended up meandering off in secret corners for stolen kisses and rushed confessions of love. We encouraged more from each other with every moment of affection, right up until I noticed the woman working at the gift shop glaring up at us and scowling like we were criminals bent on a rampage.

  “You know we’re breaking some laws here?”

  His laugh was husky in my ear, warm but still leaving me with shivers. “What? Underagers are allowed to be in here. You ain’t really allowed to try anything, but that isn’t a big deal.”

  I took his hand and pulled him behind a display of barrels, almost large enough to conceal us both.

  “That isn’t what I’m talking about.” I giggled as he kissed my ear. So much for my attempt at hiding. “You know public luridness is illegal, don’t you?”

  “Oh, I haven’t gotten lurid, at least not yet.” He leaned down closer, letting his hand trail to the small of my back. “Just wait till you hear what I really want to taste…”

  I pulled away from him and retreated to the restroom. I thought if I didn’t splash some cold water on my face, not only would my blush never come out, but I’d never be able to get through the rest of the day without some serious luridness myself.

  We accidently caught up with the tour when people stopped to take pictures by the old distilleries. I stood beside Charlie as the rest of the tourists crowded the narrow hall, and though I may have appeared patient, I was anything but. All of my motivation lay in my eagerness to get Charlie all to myself again. I had to admit, that though my thoughts were explicit, I felt justified in having them. There was an exhilarating aspect in knowing that I was a sexually active person. A thrill that didn’t run entirely on fear or adrenaline alone. Charlie was a secret to the people in my life, but between the two of us, every inch, every scar was noted and catalogued. And I had no intention of simply memorizing him. Instead, I was going to learn everything about him, what made him tick, squirm, and fidget for more.

  “Did you know that sailors used to drink to ward off scurvy? That, and the water was usually bad.”

  “Ah, that explains the stereotypical drunken sailor.”

  He grinned. “Yep.”

  “I knew there was a reason you wanted to come here.”

  “Other than getting you liquored up?”

  I smiled at him. “You know you don’t need to ply me with anything to get me into your bed.”

  “You say that now.” He pulled my waist until our hips just bumped. “What ‘bout when I’m an old man and you can’t stand the sight of me?”

  I stood on my tippy-toes and kissed the end of his chin. “That will never happen.”

  I watched while a couple not much older than us stood up against a rusted out crank. The woman had a pixie cut with highlights that showed off her dark eyes, and the man with her laughed at something she said. With some encouraging words from the woman, the tour guide took a photo of the two of them and another one when the man pulled up her hand. I saw the engagement ring and the wedding band under the glossy light, shining as she waved. He held his up and kissed her as the flash went off.

  The sinking feeling dove back into my stomach again, shifting me into a gloomy mood. Charlie had joked that I wouldn’t want him as an old man. And though I wasn’t positive, I thought that was probably the first time he had ever mentioned the future more long-term than a police report would allow.

  The tour guide congratulated them on their recent nuptials. Wished them a happy honeymoon.

  Despite my best efforts, the sinking feeling weighed me down, hovering over my great mood. Would I ever be congratulated and fawned over like that happy, young couple?

  I looked at Charlie, who cracked his knuckles. A clear indicator he was itching for a cigarette.

  Something in me told me right then and there, that no, I would never get any of that.

  The more I thought about it, the more the future overshadowed me, eventually overlapping my giddiness and making me feel blue. And though I tried to stay focused on our outing, I couldn’t, even when Charlie and I made the slow drive to his place. The trailer that Charlie rented was owned by an elderly couple who sublet several of the little mobile homes at an attempt to make extra income without much upkeep. Charlie’s was at the edge of Healdsburg and out of reach from everyone else, and though I had been in California for months now, it was only the second time I had been there. The first time I hadn’t even gone inside. Charlie made up excuses and returned before I even got my helmet off.

  But now his attitude was drastically different, and I could understand why. We had the entire day to ourselves, no favors to fulfill, no homework, no places to be. And with the all too recent scare behind us, he was more attentive than usual, giving me these looks like I was the only person he had ever seen. I wanted to return them, tried to return them, but I was slightly preoccupied with how I was going to handle the Adam situation. Charlie was jealous when there was nothing to be jealous about, and I worried about how I would get him to see the logical side of the argument. How could I get him to see things from my perspective? Frankly, I didn’t think I’d be able to handle it if he went off the deep end. And every other time I looked at him that was all I could picture. What if Charlie saw red when I told him Adam had come here to visit me and he went berserk?

  Then what about Dad and Robbie? How much longer could I keep giving them a half-truth? Eventually, I’d have to tell them everything about Charlie, about the life I’d been living for the last year. What would that do to them? I could see Dad having a heart attack and Robbie never forgiving me, both of them disowning me, turning me over to the authorities…

  I shook my head. There were a dozen different ways it could end, and none of them were happy.

  “Hey.” Charlie brushed his thumb against my cheek. It made me jump. “Are you all right?”

  I made myself smile. “Uh, yeah. A little out of it, I guess.”

  I saw the Charlie grin as he worked to open the door of the trailer. I also noticed immediately that it wasn’t locked.

  “Don’t you lock your door?”

  “Nope. This thing barely opens as it is.” He shook it some more. “‘Sides,” he turned his head so his grin was as sly as it was lopsided, “who would be stupid enough to steal from me anyways?”

  I followed him inside, slightly surprised by how cool it was despite the lack of air flow and minimal amount of windows. Naturally, I went to inspect my surroundings, looking at the details on the paper on the closet shelf, the etched-in scratches on the built-in cutting board. However, Charlie mistook my inspection for judgment, and rubbed the back of his neck, sighing nervously.

  “Sorry, it’s, ah—kinda crowded in here.”

  I smiled back. “Are you kidding? It’s just like a dorm, though I see why you like it.” I gestured to the stack of sketchbooks on the makeshift kitchen table, and the path that led up to them from the small bed. “This must feel just like a cabin to you.”

  Grinning, Charlie shook his head and tangled his arms around me, pulling me close. I looked in the kaleidoscopes of his eyes. Surrounded by the shadowy gray of the trailer, they looked olive against the lack of light.

  “You know, it’s funny you mentioned that.”

  “Mentioned what?”

  His eyes pulled from
mine then, and his frame tensed around me. “Well, with uh, summer coming up and everything—”

  I tensed instantly, knowing what and where this would lead to. I could almost see the gears in his head turning, the idea working away. And I simply wasn’t ready for it... Charlie and Elise had already been working at it steadily, but I had avoided the subject like a champion and wasn’t going to be swayed now. Elise had been dropping steady hints about wanting to learn real Italian cooking, and I noticed Charlie mention more than once to Ben about looking into European real estate. But what everyone seemed to forget was that at some point during the summer months I had to bring Charlie home to introduce him to Dad and Robbie. Telling them about Charlie wasn’t going to be enough (for all I knew they might think I was being delusional and not believe me); above and beyond that, I didn’t think my brain was even capable of contemplating fun. My work first, play later methodology had never failed me before, so why would it now?

  “You’re not talking about a vacation are you?”

  What was left of his smile lashed back into a frown.

  “Well, kinda, yeah.” He laughed nervously as he shuffled his feet. “You make it sound like a disease.”

  I sighed. How could I put a positive spin on this without sounding egotistical? “Don’t you ever get sick of traveling?”

  Of course I knew how much he enjoyed that particular aspect of his job. But the truth was that I hadn’t yet broached the subject of taking Charlie home yet, and wasn’t quite sure how. Charlie always claimed that he was the selfish one, but the fact of the matter was that I was the selfish one, greedy, really. I wanted all of the people in my life to get along, every person I loved to love one another, and it seemed impossible to me that there could be a world where that would happen the way I wanted it to; at least not without a great deal of work on my part.

  But if Charlie wasn’t willing to participate as a member of my family, then I certainly couldn’t force him. I knew he trusted me, but how could I ever know that he would trust Dad or Robbie? I couldn’t blame him for being afraid of prison, for being nervous that they would turn him in.

  How would I convince him that I needed all of them?

  “What is it?” he asked me. “Really?”

  “I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I have a lot on my mind; school, my Dad and Robbie…”

  He squeezed me tighter. “That’s why you gotta get away. Just you and me—”

  “And no layers in between?”

  His eyebrow shot straight up. “That’s a picture worth drawing.” Charlie sighed and pulled me tighter. “What?”

  I sighed again. If I wasn’t going to broach the subject of home, then at least I could be upfront about the other topic bothering me, the other source of my anxiety.

  “Adam Harpsten came to see me.”

  I tugged at him when he winced, implored by either the sound of my voice or my words, I wasn’t quite sure. All I was sure of was that his reaction made me regret the words as soon as I said them, and I wished I could have taken them back; locked them up inside so that they bothered only me instead of Charlie.

  “Why?”

  My throat tingled. I hated the sound of his voice, his ferocious irritation coming from within. Even now, it amazed me that the wrath could be so far one minute and so abundant the very next.

  “He did some lecture for Criminology students-”

  Charlie’s words were slow, focused. “At your school.”

  I didn’t want to lie. “No.”

  He let go of me, stood up swearing, mumbling to himself like he was prone to do. I gave him that space, thinking it might be better if he had a minute to blow off steam without me so close by. Occasionally, this alone was enough to help keep his tantrums at bay. Yet as the seconds ticked by, it occurred to me that this wasn’t going to be one of those cases.

  “Charlie, calm down. It’s okay. He didn’t ask me any questions about last summer—”

  “I don’t care ‘bout that!”

  “Then why are you upset?” He scoffed as if my confusion amused him. “Lousy, good for nothin’—”

  “Charlie, talk to me.”

  “And you—you went and saw him?”

  I was equally confused. But Charlie was like a volcano ready to explode, and though I knew he’d never hurt me, I was certain he was capable of anything else. And that was almost scarier than never seeing him again.

  “B-because, he’s my friend, because he asked.”

  “He’s your friend?”

  “Yes.” I stood up, fueled by a slight anger of my own. I knew Charlie was possessive, that he was prone to jealousy, which was a part of him I had accepted and signed up for. But I refused to be one of those girls who let their significant other dictate their life, denying them relationships with the opposite gender, and only granted permission for things they felt comfortable with. “I’ll have the friends I want to have. Just because I love you doesn’t mean you get to control my life. And besides, it’s better to be nice to people who may be suspicious about you then hold them at arm’s length.”

  “Why did you see him?”

  “I just told you—”

  “He wasn’t at your school, right?”

  I shook my head.

  “So ya met up with him even though you didn’t have to?”

  “For coffee,” I confirmed. “Yeah.”

  When he kicked the refrigerator, the compressor inside made a terrible noise, something between a churning and a winding. Instinctively, I went for him, but he pulled from me and turned to the other side so I couldn’t see his face. His sudden coldness hurt me much more than I wanted to admit, but I didn’t say anything.

  “So you know he wants you, and what? You go there to show him what he can’t have? To make him want you more?”

  “What in the hell are you talking about?”

  As he sighed, it was like watching the wind leave the sails, but somehow I wasn’t as relieved as I knew I should have been. “I—I just. I don’t know. I’m—”

  “Hey.” I pulled him until he faced me, forced his face into my hands. “I’m yours, okay?”

  He nodded, eyes closed.

  “Where is all this worry coming from, anyway?”

  Relief flushed me when I saw him smile. “Nowhere important.”

  It took another minute before his hand relaxed in mine, but the tension was still there. Better, I thought, to put off coming clean with my family for a little while longer. That entire process would be monumental within itself, and we had both had enough drama for one day.

  “Are you all right?”

  He smiled and I nestled under his chin where he held me close.

  “I love you, Addie.” The way he whispered it though was different than usual, and I shivered though he hugged me close.

  ***

  The week started out with the same normal dullness that it usually did; the lectures, the alarm clock, cafeteria food, and sleepless nights worrying about Charlie. Every morning when he texted or called again, I could exhale that breath I’d been holding, stop counting, and think again. I knew he was safe, at least for another night, and for a few hours more I felt the intangible relief that went with knowing he was okay, that he hadn’t been caught.

  Then, there was the morning I didn’t hear from him.

  I had been busy, I’ll admit that. Between classes, a study group, and power surges at the library, the panic I had expected to feel when the situation came was absent, notwithstanding the chaos of the day. It was already mid-afternoon when I realized that neither of my phones had gone off. I blamed it entirely on his own hectic schedule, sent him a message, and went to class.

  When the professor sent us on our way, I was one of the first out the door, expecting a response, but when there was none, brief wisps of fear went through me. I tried to shake them off by studying, but it didn’t do much good, so instead I went to Melinda’s rehearsal, hustling to outrun the thunder cackling overhead.

  I had nearly forgotten
what Melinda said about dress rehearsals all week. It was only another reminder that the semester was coming to a close, a prospect I both feared and relished. It wasn’t difficult to guess that rehearsal was in full-swing when I saw several guys in 16th century soldiers’ uniforms outside smoking cigarettes outside the auditorium. One of them was nice enough to use his key-card to let me in and I stumbled inside, eager to hide from the feeling of foreboding that was taking hold.

  “Addie!”

  Melinda was wearing this flowing red getup with a lush wig of black curls. But it wasn’t just her who looked liked they had time-traveled. Carter wore something that looked like a toga with riding breeches underneath; the guy playing Cassio had blood painted on his face and hands and had a sword on his belt.

  Melinda jumped off the stage, her skirts trailing behind her. The green hair kid nodded at me as I passed, his arms loaded with a pallet of rubber ended swords.

  Overwhelmed by the spectacle before me, I hardly heard Melinda at all. Stagehands struggled with music at a DJ prompt as professors argued over directions. The woman I had seen fitting students before was being yelled at by Desdemona and a couple of custodial workers splattered oil on squeaky seats.

  “Wow, you got here fast. Did you get a ride?”

  I marveled as the techs changed the background sets onstage. In an instant it went from a calm Cyprus night to a bloody battle scene.

  “Hello? Anyone home?”

  “Ah no, I ran though. You look really great, by the way.”

  She beamed at the compliment. “You think so? Desdemona and I had to do a quick costume change, so this is a little too loose.”

  “What do you mean I got here fast?” Her words were like an arrow to the target. I froze on the inside.

  “Well, you got my text, right?”

  I shook my head and watched while she readjusted her bodice. “Yeah, your boyfriend was here. But I guess you just missed him.”

  Charlie? No, it couldn’t be. I wondered if those prop swords could inflict any real pain if the aggressor was determined enough. How many officers at the security booths would there be between here and my dorm? Would Charlie hurt any of them? I tried to listen for sirens, for screams of terror, but my ears were fuzzy. And like static from the radio, the words were fading in and out.