Passion, Victoria 8: Hidden Emotions (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Becca Van

  “Here, in Passion.”

  Kael heaved out a sigh at the same time his brothers did. Sapphira watched as the tension dissipated from their bodies and the serious expressions turned to smiles.

  “You don’t need to work, baby.”

  “But you’ll let me because I want to,” Sapphira said in a firm voice.

  “Are you saying what I think you’re saying, legs?” Kadan asked.

  “What do you think I’m saying, Kadan?”

  “Are you willing to try a relationship with us?”

  “Yes.”

  “Hot fucking damn.” Kai yelled and hooted.

  “But,” Sapphira interrupted, drawing their gaze once more. “I’m going to find a job and you four are going to let me be independent. I have been on my own for over four years and I won’t have you telling me what to do or ruling my life.”

  Kael skirted the counter and plucked her off the stool, cradling her in his arms and against his chest. “When it comes to your safety and your health, you will do as you’re told.”

  “I am doing everything I can to control the narcolepsy and cataplexy.”

  “Good.” Kael kissed her on the mouth.

  “What sort of work do you want, sweetie?” Kai came close and stroked her bare leg.

  “A receptionist or administration position would suit me. I’ve never been interested in climbing the corporate ladder. I’m happy as long as I can pay my bills, have a roof over my head, and food in my belly.”

  “You don’t want more than that?” Ryan asked.

  Sapphira knew there was more to that question than met the eye. “What do you mean?”

  “Don’t you want to get married and have babies?”

  “Eventually, yes.”

  “Good,” Ryan hurried over and kissed her lightly on the lips.

  “I think we can help you with a job, baby.” Kael lowered her feet to the floor. “Our office will be opening on Monday and we’ve been advertising for a receptionist but had no luck so far. It would be a win-win situation. You wouldn’t have to worry about explaining your sleep disorder or getting bawled out by the boss if you fell asleep at your desk, and we would have the help we needed.”

  “Are you sure you’d want to put up with me twenty-four-seven?”

  “We’re sure,” Kael, Kadan, and Kai answered simultaneously.

  “Well then it looks like you’ve just hired yourself a receptionist. When can I start?”

  “Monday,” Ryan stepped in and answered. “Hopefully by then the Xyrem will have kicked in, but I don’t want you driving. It’s too damn dangerous.”

  “I agree,” Kael said. “You’ll get a lift to and from work with one of us and that is not up for negotiation.”

  “Okay,” Sapphira sighed. Although she hated losing that little bit of independence, she concurred with her men. It was too dangerous for her to drive. Until she had her narcolepsy and cataplexy under control, she wouldn’t get behind the wheel, but if she was able to keep that at bay then she was going to start driving again, with her doctor’s agreement of course.

  “Now that we’ve got that out of the way, can one of you start the grill? I’m kind of hungry.”

  “I’m on it, baby.” Kael kissed her lingeringly. “Thank you, Sapphira. You’ve made me very happy.”

  Sapphira smiled as she watched all four of the Sinclair brothers get the meat and take it outside. Even though she was still a little trepidatious about being with four men, she was really happy and felt like she belonged. She wasn’t naïve enough to think it would be all smooth sailing and she was still concerned about her narcolepsy and cataplexy, but with Ryan’s and Doc Wright’s help, she would get that under control. What worried her most was that she would end up with a broken heart, but she wasn’t about to buy trouble before it happened. Doing that would be like dooming the relationship before it even started.

  She put the salads out and set the table while waiting for the men to grill the meat. When that was done, she walked out onto the wraparound verandah. This would have been the perfect spot to eat since it was still so damn hot, but there were only chairs and no table. Maybe she could buy one in a few weeks. She was still nervous about being with them and hoped she didn’t make a fool of herself. Sapphira knew they wanted to be with her now that she’d agreed to a relationship and knew tonight would be the first. And although she’d had sex, once, it had been with a guy who had been much shorter than she was.

  Looking back now, she knew from the very first that Andrew Spade hadn’t been right for her. She’d felt a little uncomfortable at being taller than he was but he’d been so nice and sweet she’d ended up going out with him for three months. That was until he’d gotten her into bed and made love to her. Well, love hadn’t even come into the equation. She’d found out after the event he’d been dared by his dweeby friends to get the “Amazon” into bed.

  The experience hadn’t done anything for her. She had expected pain the first time, at least from what she’d heard, a woman was supposed to feel a little pain, but she’d barely felt him inside her at all. Sapphira had thought that there’d been something wrong with her but had quickly changed her mind when she’d seen his penis. The term pin-sized took on literal meaning when she’d seen his erection and even though she wanted to ask him to stop, she’d felt sorry for him and had ended up biting her tongue and let him go. And go he had. It had been all over in the matter of minutes.

  Thank God she’d insisted on him wearing a condom. Just imagining him touching her now made her feel ill and she shuddered. After that experience she’d steered clear of men because when the little prick—pun intended—had finished, he’d accused her of having a “loose twat”— his words.

  She’d been so incensed, she’d punched him in the face, redressed, and hurried back to her apartment. She’s spent the next hour in the shower scrubbing her skin until it felt raw, trying to wash the bastard’s touch from her body. Sapphira knew it wasn’t the size of a man’s penis that was in question, just how he used it. Obviously that man hadn’t known how to play a woman’s body or use his cock for anything other than self-gratification. But she began to worry that maybe her vagina was too big and she wouldn’t ever be able to satisfy a man. She was a tall woman and had begun to wonder if that little prick was right.

  She looked over at her men and knew instinctively that they wouldn’t have tiny pricks. She only hoped that she was tight enough for them. The more she thought about it the more anxious she became until she was nearly hyperventilating. She had a second’s warning as the energy seemed to wane from her muscles and then she was falling. She cried out just before she hit the deck.

  * * * *

  Kael spun around when Sapphira cried out and then he was sprinting toward her. He knelt down at her side just in time to see her body go rigid and then her eyes closed. “Ryan,” Kael roared.

  “I’m here.” He, too, knelt at Sapphira’s side and took her pulse. “Did you see what happened?”

  Kael was really worried but then he remembered about the cataplexy. “She just seemed to flop and then she was falling. When I got to her side, her muscles went all tight and she fell asleep.”

  “Shit.”

  “What?” Kael fisted Ryan’s shirt. “Tell me what the fuck is going on.”

  “She’s worried about something. The cataplexy is brought on by stress.”

  “Can I move her?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Kael picked her up and headed for the door Ryan was holding open.

  “Is she okay?” Kai and Kadan asked at the same time.

  “Yeah, but we need to talk to her when she comes around.” Kael saw his brothers’ nod and then they removed the steaks from the grill. He carried Sapphira to her bedroom and placed her on the bed.

  “We’ll give her ten minutes and then wake her up,” Ryan said.

  “Okay.” Kael sat on the side of the bed. He had no intention of leaving her, not until he had some answers. He wanted to know why she wa
s so upset that it had caused her cataplexy to kick in. She’d been staring at him and his brothers just before she went down. He’d felt her eyes on him. The last thing he wanted was for his woman to be scared of him, or any of them. He knew they were big men but surely she didn’t think they would ever do anything to hurt her. If she didn’t trust them, he didn’t know how to go about gaining that trust, but he need her so much, he wasn’t willing to let her go.

  Kael felt more grounded with Sapphira in their lives and knew if she left he would go back to being his surly, arrogant, dominating self. He didn’t care what others thought about him, but he’d been so much happier since she’d come to them. He’d been suffering nightmares since leaving the Army, but they had stopped the night Sapphira had come into their home. He wasn’t stupid enough to believe he would never have them again, but she was such a happy, fun-loving person, she’d changed him in the couple of days she’d been here. She was the light in his darkness and he didn’t want to lose that.

  Ryan sat down on the other side of the bed, reached over, and lightly stroked her face. “Wake up, Sapphira. It’s time for dinner.”

  When she didn’t stir, Kael grasped her shoulder and gently shook her. “Wake up, baby.”

  She stirred, thank God, and then she sighed and stretched before her eyes popped open.

  “It happened again, didn’t it?”

  “Yeah,” Ryan took her hand in his. “What were you thinking about that got you so upset?”

  Kael narrowed his eyes when she blushed and looked away.

  Oh no way, baby. Not happening. You are going to learn to open up with us.

  “Answer the question, Sapphira.”

  “Don’t tell me…”

  Kael interrupted. “If we are going to be in a relationship then you need to trust us and talk to us. You can’t be getting yourself so worked up about something that you pass out. Now talk to me, damn it.”

  “I can’t,” she whispered.

  Kael could feel Ryan glaring at him but he didn’t care. He needed to understand what she was worrying about. Kael was a control freak and liked to fix things, even if they weren’t his problems, and Sapphira was just going to have to learn to accept that part of him.

  “Why?”

  “I–it’s too embarrassing.”

  “Honey, I’m a doctor, you can tell me anything, and Kael…well, Kael has seen a lot of shit and nothing is going to shock him. Please, talk to us. We don’t like seeing you suffering, Sapphira.”

  “I’m not…”

  “Bullshit. You were so stressed you collapsed on the wood deck and then you fell asleep, so don’t you dare tell me that you weren’t suffering.”

  “Tell us what you’re worried about, honey. If we talk about it, we might be able to relieve your mind.”

  “I’m not good at sex and I’m worried that you all will be disappointed.”

  “Who the hell told you that?” Kael snarled the question.

  “My ex.”

  “What did he say, honey?” Ryan asked in a calm voice before glaring at him.

  Sapphira looked down at the bed but Kael needed to know why she was so scared she wasn’t good at sex. If they were all going to make love with her, they had to get her over her insecurities. She needed to be able to relax and not freeze up if, no, when they touched her.

  He gripped her chin between his finger and thumb and tilted her head up. She looked so sad and worried he could barely stand it but he wasn’t about to let her get away without talking to them.

  “Come on, baby. It’s probably nowhere near as bad as you think it is.”

  “I don’t like sex and I’ve got a big twat.”

  Kael couldn’t believe what she’d just said. It was really hard for him to not burst out laughing at such a ludicrous statement, but he held it in and made sure that none of the amusement he felt showed on his face. He looked over at Ryan and saw the gleam in his brother’s eyes but quickly looked away again.

  “I don’t like that word. It’s derogatory. I don’t want to hear you say it again. Okay?” Kael relaxed a little when she nodded. “Good. Now why do you think you have a big pussy?”

  “My ex told me so.”

  “He was wrong, honey.” Ryan squeezed her hand “You don’t have a big pussy. He was probably trying to make himself feel good about his own shortcomings.”

  “How many times have you had sex, baby?”

  “Once.” Sapphira spoke so quietly he almost didn’t hear her.

  “Once?” He nearly choked when she nodded.

  “Baby, you’re practically a virgin. How the hell do you know you don’t like sex if you’ve only ever done it once?”

  Sapphira shrugged.

  “I’ll bet that bastard hurt you, didn’t he?”

  She shook her head.

  “No?”

  “No.”

  “Did you come, honey?”

  “No.”

  “Sapphira, how big was the guy’s cock?”

  When she held up her pinky, Kael couldn’t hold his snicker back another moment. All the time she’d been talking he’d tried to keep his expression stoic but had been laughing up a storm inside. But he hadn’t been laughing at Sapphira, he’d been laughing at the bastard she’d had sex with because he somehow knew he was the one to blame. But he was also angry on her behalf because that fucker had hurt her and made her doubt her own femininity. Ryan chuckled, too, but they both immediately stopped when they saw tears in her eyes.

  “We aren’t laughing at you, baby. We’re laughing at that little prick.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really,” Ryan reiterated.

  Movement at the door caught Sapphira’s attention and when she saw that Kai and Kadan were leaning against the door, her face turned pink.

  Kai winked at her. “Don’t worry so much, sweetie. After dinner we’ll show you how wrong that fucker was.” Kai moved his hand down to his crotch and adjusted his erection, but the way he did it pulled his jeans tighter and showcased his cock more prominently.

  Sapphira gasped and then her mouth gaped open and she didn’t take her eyes off of Kai’s cock until he turned and disappeared with Kadan following behind him.

  “Come on, the steaks are getting cold.” Kael lifted Sapphira from the bed and then lowered her feet to the floor.

  Kael was determined to show Sapphira how wrong she was, but only after he and his brothers had given her an orgasm or two.

  He could hardly wait for dinner to be over.

  Chapter Seven

  Sapphira wasn’t very hungry anymore but she ate a little steak and a small amount of salad. She had to smile over the way her men raved about her potato salad. It made her feel good inside to have made something they liked and she loved watching them eat it with such gusto.

  She was still nervous about making love with them for the first time, but this time it was because she was frightened of their size. The weapon that Kai had been packing was huge and she was concerned it would hurt when he tried to push that monster into her body.

  Sapphira had only seen one erect penis in her whole life and now she knew that that one was nonexistent compared to the one Kai had. Were the others the same as he was?

  “Why don’t you go and have a shower while we clear up, honey? The water will help you relax a little.”

  Sapphira nodded at Ryan and was grateful for the chance to clean up and have a little time to herself before the night progressed. She hurried from the room and went straight to her adjoining bathroom. After washing her hair, she shaved her legs and then washed her body. When she couldn’t stay under the water for another minute—her fingers were already beginning to prune—she turned the shower off and dried herself. Grabbing her scented moisturizer from the cupboard, she rubbed the honey and vanilla scent into her skin. She’d brought a light robe into the bathroom with her since she didn’t want to walk out of there naked, in case the men were already in the room. It wasn’t that she was a prude and wanted to hide her
body, but she wasn’t used to being naked in front of anyone.

  After taking a deep breath, she opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom. And just as she had imagined they would be, Kael, Kadan, Kai, and Ryan were in her room waiting for her. She’d wondered about the size of the bed and bathroom, but since they’d told her they wanted to share her and there were five of them in total she figured it was because there were so many of them. The bed was way bigger than a normal king-size bed and she wondered if they’d had it custom made.

  They all had damp hair and she realized they must have taken showers in one of the other bathrooms. She couldn’t help but peruse their naked chest with her eyes. The triplets were cut and ripped and bulging. Ryan was cut and ripped but much leaner than they were, but no less handsome or appealing. Sapphira shifted from foot to foot nervously and was glad when Ryan got up and came over to her.

  “Are you okay, honey?”

  Sapphira gulped and nodded.

  “Just remember that we’ll never do anything to hurt you, and if you don’t like anything just say stop and we’ll stop. Okay?”

  She nodded again. Ryan took her face between his big hands and stared deeply into her eyes. She could see hunger there but also something else. As she continued to look, she thought she saw love. Sapphira didn’t realize that she was shaking her head slightly until Ryan nodded his.

  He leaned in close and whispered in her ear, “I love you, honey.”

  Tears of emotion formed in her eyes and he gently wiped them from her cheeks when they spilled over. “I want to kiss you so bad. Will you let me?”

  She licked her lips nervously and nodded.