All the Broken Places
Page 27
Eventually, we both seemed to sense that we were approaching a tipping point—if we didn’t put the flames out soon, they would consume us completely. Although a whimper of protest escaped my swollen lips, I drew my arms up between us, resting my hands on his chest. With his fingers still twisted in my hair, Ben gently tilted my head back and pulled his mouth away from mine. We sat there for several moments, perfectly still, eyes closed, gasping. Slowly, so slowly, the lava that had filled my body began to cool, and Ben’s breathing evened out.
I opened my eyes first. It gave me a surge of satisfaction to see the heavy effort Ben was making to pull himself together. At least we’d both experienced the same intensity. When Ben’s eyes finally opened, he looked at me with the same wonder I was feeling. We just sat there, staring, giving ourselves time to absorb, to witness, to recover.
Finally, I couldn’t hold myself upright any longer. The adrenaline rush had gone, leaving my muscles quivering and useless. I leaned against Ben and rested my head on his shoulder as he drew his arms around me. I held up my hand, once again admiring the ring.
“So this can be our secret,” I whispered. The prospect touched me deeply. Ben had no ulterior motive in giving me the ring. He just wanted me to feel reassured by his constant presence. For some reason, keeping something so intimate a private matter between us struck me as incredibly sexy.
“If that’s what makes you feel comfortable.” He softly kissed the top of my head. “You’ll wear it, then?”
A calm like I’d never experienced came over me, and I knew with a certainty that this was what I wanted—Ben was what I wanted. My heart swept in and took over; my head and all of its bothersome anxieties would just have to catch up later. “Yes, I will. Thank you.”
As my words sank in, a parade of emotions marched across Ben’s face. Finally he smiled back, and with impossible tenderness said, “I’m glad.”
For many moments, we sat like that, locked in each other’s eyes. I swam with abandon through the portal, learning everything I needed to know: that he cared deeply for me, he wanted to be with me, and no matter how often I gave up on myself, Ben would never give up on me. For the first time, I understood what it meant to never want a moment to end.
• • •
When the others arrived at the church, they were carrying balloons and a cake that read, “Welcome to Team MacGregor, Cate!” Apparently, I had been the last one to know that I would be joining their group.
Vani and Kai quickly noticed my ring and were duly admiring. But when I deflected their questions with vague answers, they didn’t push, only exchanged knowing looks. True to his word, Ben did an impressive job of pretending that he had no idea what we were talking about.
After cutting the cake, we moved on to a lively discussion about whether I should be put through some kind of welcoming ritual to mark my joining the staff. Eve suggested that we all get matching tattoos or piercings of some kind, but Ben quickly shot down that idea. Asa suggested an inaugural online multiplayer game tournament. Kai wrinkled his nose and proposed instead that Ben, Asa, and Pete could set aside a day to play the latest release of Apocalypse Slaughter Death House while Kai, Vani, Eve, and I took a spa day.
I had to admit that I liked that idea, but Eve said she’d rather play Death House than go to a spa. Then Vani insisted that there were no decent spas stateside, anyway, so the only way for us to celebrate properly would be to go to London. When the conversation turned to how we could arrange a stopover in Iceland to enjoy the hot springs, Ben objected that we were getting carried away and reminded everyone that they had a busy week ahead.
His pragmatism did nothing to dampen the jovial mood, however. As the party carried on, I looked around at the incredible group of people embracing me—my new friends and colleagues—and finally felt reassured that by joining their group, I’d made the right decision.
After the festivities at the church wound down, Ben and I returned to my house. He collapsed onto the couch and I settled down in front of him. I held my right hand out and stared at my ring. Although I’d been stealing glances at it ever since Ben put it on my finger, that was the first opportunity I’d had to really examine it closely. It was beautifully crafted, and the way the birds intertwined was so romantic. I knew that when I told Simone about Ben and me, she was going to freak out. I smiled as I imagined her reaction not only to the ring, but also to the fact that I was finally dating someone.
Ben brushed the hair away from my temple and kissed it tenderly, lighting a flicker of attraction in my belly. I was reminded of his promise that we would soon be “testing the limits of my pendant,” as he’d so creatively described it. As we lay there spooning, two weeks suddenly seemed like an interminably long period of time.
“Ben?”
“Hmm?”
I rolled over just enough so that I could look at him. His eyes were closed. “The no sex during training thing—that doesn’t really apply anymore, does it?”
“Those are the rules, Cate.”
“I know,” I said softly, “but things have changed between us. I mean, I’m wearing your ring…”
“And I couldn’t be happier about that. But you’re still an intern.”
I gritted my teeth. No one could have that much self-discipline. I closed my eyes and focused on the portal between us, searching for a weak spot. I had to know what was going on underneath that cool exterior of his.
To my delight, I felt clearly the strong note of his desire—and then, to my annoyance, the even stronger note of his conviction. Obviously, feminine wiles were going to be required.
I shifted back into our spooning position. “Still, you know I’m not big on rules, right?”
“I’m not a huge fan of this one myself at the moment,” Ben said, “but it’s important, Cate. You know it’s there for a reason.” He slid his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. “Don’t worry, though. Once these two weeks are up, I’ll see to it personally that you’re well taken care of.”
He placed a kiss on the back of my head and my whole body sighed with pleasure. But I was determined not to be diverted. I slowly pulled myself into a sitting position on the edge of the couch and stretched provocatively. Ben’s hand fell onto the small of my back. “I see. Well, if that’s how things are,” I said with a casual glance back, “I think I’ll go give Sid a call and see what he’s up to.”
I yelped in surprise as Ben swiftly hauled me backward onto the couch and maneuvered me into our spooning position once again—but this time, his arms and legs were locked around me. I tried to wriggle free, only to find that I had been totally immobilized.
“If you think that’s going to happen,” he growled playfully into my ear, “then you’re about to find out what it’s like to match wills with a big tough Marine.”
Resources
If you or someone you know needs help, you may find information and resources, including links to immediate help, on the following website from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services:
www.mentalhealth.gov
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline has trained crisis workers available to talk 24 hours a day, 7 days a week:
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
If you are outside of the U.S., a database of international resources can be found on the website of the International Association for Suicide Prevention:
www.iasp.info
Connect with Anise Eden at her website:
www.AniseEden.com
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Look for All the Wounds in Shadow, coming August 2016 from Diversion Books!
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