Unnatural Acts

by Stuart Woods

  ROSIE TURNED toward Dino. “Boss, are you hit?”

  “Yes, goddammit!” Dino replied, taking a hand from under his jacket and holding it up, bloody. “Call this in and get these people quieted down!”

  Rosie reached for her cell phone. “All right, everybody,” she screamed at the crowd. “Police! Everybody sit down and shut up.” To her surprise, they did.

  56

  VIV INSISTED on riding in the wagon with Dino. The EMTs had stripped off his jacket and shirt and were applying pressure to his wounds.

  “You’ve got an entry wound and an exit wound,” an EMT said to Dino.

  “Fucking Armani suit!” Dino said. “Eighteen hundred bucks. I’m going to have to have it rewoven.”

  “Rinse it in cold water to get the blood out before you have it dry-cleaned,” the EMT said.

  “Everybody’s an expert,” Dino muttered. He looked up at Viv. “What are you doing here? You should be helping Rosie lock down Bemelmans.”

  “I’m where I need to be,” Viv said. “Rosie’s doing fine. The cavalry arrived as we were leaving.”

  “I hope she knows to get as many statements as she can,” Dino said. “There’s going to have to be a hearing before we’re cleared.”

  “We did the right thing,” Viv said.

  “We didn’t call the FBI,” Dino pointed out.

  “That was the right thing.”

  “We got Shelley off the street, anyway,” Dino said. Then he threw up all over himself and passed out.

  “Shock,” the EMT said, elevating Dino’s feet and starting an IV.

  “Is he going to make it?” Viv asked.

  “He’ll be in surgery in ten minutes,” the EMT replied. “We’ve already called it in. A team is standing by. We’ll pass up the ER and go straight to the OR. Are you his girlfriend?”

  “I’m a detective. I work for him.”

  “Oh, sorry, you look so concerned.”

  “I want to keep on working for him.”

  STONE WAS just getting into bed with Marla, and looking forward to it, when his phone rang. “Hello?”

  “It’s Rosie. I work for Dino.”

  “Hi, Rosie. Congratulations on the Ed Abney thing.”

  “Dino’s been shot.”

  “Tell me.”

  “Dino, Viv, and I were in the bar at the Carlyle Hotel, a setup to take down Shelley Bach.”

  “Go on.”

  “It was going fine, until it wasn’t. Bach went into her handbag and came up with a Glock. She shot Dino, then Viv shot her. Twice. She’s dead.”

  “Tell me about Dino.”

  “He took a round in the upper left chest—might have nicked a lung, I don’t know. He was bleeding pretty good.”

  “Where did they take him?”

  “Lenox Hill. He’s in surgery. Viv is with him; I’m just finishing up at the Carlyle.”

  “Congratulations on taking down Shelley Bach. I know Dino didn’t want to do it, but somebody had to.”

  “There’s going to be hell to pay, because Dino didn’t call the FBI.”

  “Dino knew what he was doing. They’d have had fifty agents there and the block cordoned off. Shelley would never have walked into the place. Any civilians hurt?”

  “No, just Dino and Bach.”

  “That’s going to make the hearing easier. The papers are going to like this, you watch. That’ll help with the departmental brass.”

  “I’d better go,” Rosie said. “I want to get to the hospital.”

  “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes,” Stone said. “Thanks for the call.” He hung up.

  “Something wrong?” Marla asked.

  “I’ll give you the background later,” Stone said, pulling on his pants, “but Dino’s been shot and is in surgery. I’m going over to Lenox Hill.”

  “Is it bad?”

  “Bad enough.”

  “Want company?”

  “I’ll want company when I get back,” Stone said. “You get some sleep.” He finished dressing and ran for a cab.

  VIV SAT in the recovery room and watched Dino as if she were afraid he’d flee. His color was good, she thought, and he was breathing normally. His eyelids fluttered, and he opened them and stared at her.

  “Am I alive?” he asked.

  “And kicking,” she replied.

  A doctor in scrubs walked over and examined Dino. “You are one lucky son of a bitch,” he said. “Whoever shot you was firing hardball ammo, and it went straight through and out, along a path that avoided the heart, the lung, and the shoulder. Nicked the collarbone, but that’s okay. You’re lucky it wasn’t a hollow-point slug, or we’d still be in the OR, trying to sort out the mess. You’ve also got the constitution of an ox. I’ve never seen anybody skate through gunshot surgery like that. You’ll be back at work in a week, ten days, if we can keep you from getting an infection.”

  “Don’t give me an infection,” Dino said. “I don’t need one.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” the doctor said. “Detective DeCarlo, there’s a guy out there wants to see your lieutenant, name of Barrington. Only one at a time in here, so you go out and send him in.”

  “Right,” Viv said. “I’ll be back, boss.”

  STONE STOOD up when he saw Viv coming; so did Rosie.

  Viv gave them a thumbs-up. “He’s good and going to get better. You can go in, Stone.”

  Stone pushed through the door and saw Dino, his bed sitting him up. He went over and pulled up a stool. “We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” he said.

  “It’s been a long time since we met like this,” Dino said, “and last time, it was you here and me there.”

  “What happened?”

  “I don’t know exactly. Shelley was walking toward me, something spooked her, and she came up with a handgun. Mine never cleared the holster. Viv took her out.”

  “Did the denizens of Bemelmans Bar enjoy the experience?”

  “You never heard such an uproar,” Dino said, smiling weakly.

  “You get some sleep, pal. There’s no rush—you’ll be telling me the gory details for years.”

  “You don’t have any scotch on you, do you?”

  “I’ll buy you your first when you’re out of here. Sleep tight.”

  Stone walked back to the waiting room and took a couple of deep breaths.

  “You all right?” Viv asked.

  “I’m not used to seeing him like that,” Stone said. “I feel almost as if I took the bullet.”

  “I know how you feel,” Viv said.

  “He’s got the hots for you, you know.”

  Her eyebrows went up. “What are you talking about?”

  “You may have to take a transfer to deal with it. Dino will want to do the right thing.”

  “Whatever it takes,” Viv said.

  Stone gave her a hug. “You go home and get some sleep. That’s what Dino is doing.”

  57

  STONE WAS at his desk the following morning when Joan buzzed him. “FBI Deputy Director Kerry Smith to see you,” she said.

  “All right,” Stone sighed, “send him in, and you’d better get him some coffee, too.” He stood up and waited for Kerry to enter his office, then shook his hand and sat him down. “Good to see you, Kerry. What brings you to New York?”

  “Was that supposed to be funny?” Kerry asked.

  “It was funny,” Stone replied. “To anybody but a DD of the Bureau.”

  “I’m going to see Dino, at the hospital, but first, I want to know what happened, and I’m sure you know.”

  “You didn’t read the Times this morning?”

  “Wasn’t much in the Times.”

  “Well, it was right at their deadline, I guess. The Post will have a fuller account this afternoon.”

  “It won’t have what I want to know.”

  “You mean, you want to know why Dino didn’t call the Bureau before he met Shelley.”

  “A good place to start,” Kerry said.

  J
oan brought in a small tray with a china coffeepot and a mug and set it on the coffee table, then left.

  “He didn’t call your people because they’d have had big black vans with flashing lights in the street and a SWAT team in the Carlyle lobby.”

  “Oh, come on!”

  “You know that’s true. The Bureau is incapable of doing anything small, even when the situation demands it. Also, Shelley probably knew three-quarters of the New York field office by sight.”

  “You have a point there,” Kerry admitted.

  “Dino was smart enough to take only two detectives with him—both of them women.”

  “I heard, and it was smart, I’ll give Dino that.”

  “That’s mighty white of you.”

  “I saw photos of Shelley’s body. She was unrecognizable—nose job, hair color, lots of new dental work. I swear, I wouldn’t have known her if I had been there, and I spent a couple of years in bed with her.”

  “Nobody ever said Shelley was stupid,” Stone said.

  “She was smart as a whip, and if she hadn’t been a woman, she’d have been in my job, and I in hers.”

  “I expect that’s what made her so hard to nail,” Stone said. “I think her weakness was Dino.”

  “You’re kidding me.”

  “Nope. The whole time we were in D.C. last year, she spent every night with Dino.”

  “Well, of course, she was crazy, or she couldn’t have done what she did.”

  “You mean Dino?”

  “I mean half a dozen murders.”

  “I’m sure the Bureau shrinks have had a wonderful time trying to figure that out.”

  “You should see the reports—you can’t see the forest for the psychobabble.”

  “Yeah, I’ve read a few of those.”

  “Tell me about the DeCarlo girl.”

  “For a start, you’d better not call her a girl around Dino—or around her, for that matter.”

  “I guess not.”

  “She’s probably a lot like a young Shelley,” Stone said.

  “Is Dino putting her in for the Medal of Honor?”

  “That would be a little over the top, but my guess is, he’ll get her the Police Combat Cross, because it fits her conduct, and he’ll probably get her kicked up to detective second class. Dino won’t sign the orders himself, but he knows whose shell-like ear to whisper into.”

  “I expect he does.”

  “My advice to you, Kerry, is, when you see Dino, don’t bring up your field office’s noninvolvement, and I wouldn’t mention it to anybody else in the department, either.”

  “I suppose that would be resented.”

  “All the way up to the commissioner. If you can’t see Dino without avoiding that, then don’t see him at all—just write him a nice note on your best stationery and copy the commissioner.”

  “I’ll do both,” Kerry said. “Now, tell me what happened in that bar.”

  “The girls went in first and established themselves at the bar. Dino came in a few minutes later and looked at every face in the room. He didn’t spot her.”

  “I can understand why.”

  “Shelley must have felt comfortable with the situation, because she got up and started toward Dino. Something startled her—nobody knows what—and she started shooting, hit Dino with her first round. By that time, Viv DeCarlo was on her feet and firing. Put one into her chest and knocked her backward. Shelley played possum for a few seconds, and then tried to shoot again, so Viv fired a second time. Both her shots were expert quality. Then it was over, except to transport Dino and take witness statements. There’ll be a hearing on the shooting, and if the Bureau is asked to send somebody, you might have a word with him about not making an ass of himself. Everybody on the panel will be NYPD, except somebody from the civilian review board.”

  “I guess we can live with that,” Kerry said. “I’ll have a word with the director about it. Maybe I’ll testify myself, since I was Shelley’s immediate superior.”

  “That would be the graceful thing to do,” Stone said.

  “Can I buy you dinner tonight?”

  “I’m seeing a lady who is taking up all of my evenings, but next time you’re in town, Dino and I will feed you.”

  “Deal,” Kerry said, standing up. “Let me thank your girl for the coffee.”

  “Watch it, Kerry.”

  “Sorry.” He excused himself and left.

  Joan came in. “He was very nice,” she said. “Thanked me for the coffee.”

  “He wasn’t all that nice—he called you a girl.”

  Joan batted her eyes. “The man’s a regular knight in shining armor.”

  58

  STONE PULLED his car up to the entrance of Lenox Hill Hospital and waited five minutes before Dino appeared in a wheelchair, his left arm in a sling.

  Stone got out and opened the door for him. It was raining lightly, and the hospital orderly held an umbrella over Dino’s head. Stone closed the car door and got in. “That’s a very nice bullet hole through your suit,” he said, “front and back.”

  “Yeah, I’ve got to have it rewoven. A nurse got the blood out, though.”

  “That’s above and beyond the call,” Stone said, driving away. “Does your shoulder hurt?”

  “Not while there’s enough Oxycontin in the world.”

  “If you run out, I’m sure there’s plenty in the precinct evidence locker,” Stone said.

  “Thanks, I hadn’t thought of that. Kerry Smith came to see me.”

  “Yeah, he came to see me, too.”

  “Is that why he didn’t mention my not calling his agent-in-charge about Shelley?”

  “I’m sure he was just trying to be a nice guy.”

  “A nice guy? In the Bureau?”

  “Don’t be too hard on him—he offered to testify at your hearing.”

  “Yeah, he mentioned that. The good thing is, the civilian review board will love him.”

  “You done anything about Viv?”

  “What, exactly, do you mean by that?”

  “Did you get her decorated?”

  “Sure, I got her the Combat Cross. The sons of bitches downtown wanted to give it to me, but I told them I wasn’t taking a medal for getting myself shot.”

  “Good for you. What else?”

  “What do you mean, what else?”

  “Come on, Dino.”

  “All right, I got her transferred to the Seventeenth Precinct. It’s right next door, and it’s closer to her apartment. And she’ll be promoted.”

  Stone found a parking spot in front of Dino’s building and flipped down his sun visor with the police emblem on it. “What, are you coming in?” Dino asked, as his doorman opened the car door.

  “I’m walking you upstairs.”

  “The hell you say. I’m fine.”

  Stone walked around the car and caught Dino’s right arm, just as he staggered a bit. He steered his friend through the front door and onto the elevator. “You’re going to have to take it easy on the Oxycontin, unless you want to fall down in the street,” Stone said.

  The elevator arrived at Dino’s floor, and Stone steered him to the front door, took his key from him, and opened the door.

  “This is fine,” Dino said.

  “I’ll walk you to the bedroom. You need a nap.” They walked down the hall.

  “I don’t need a nap,” Dino said, sitting on the bed.

  Stone helped him off with his coat and shoes and took the sling from around his neck, then lifted his feet onto the bed and tucked a pillow under his knees.

  “You should have been a nurse,” Dino said.

  Stone spread a blanket over him, and Dino closed his eyes.

  “Don’t get up until dinnertime,” Stone said.

  Dino made a gruff noise and let out a deep breath.

  Stone bent over and kissed him on the forehead, then closed the bedroom door behind him. He got out his cell phone and called a number.

  “DeCarlo,” she said.


  “Viv, it’s Stone. I got him home, and he went right to sleep. I’m leaving his door unlocked for you, so bring him some dinner about seven. He’ll be a lot better by tomorrow.”

  “Thanks, Stone,” she said. “I’m on it.”

  “There are some things Dino won’t tell you, so I will.”

  “Okay.”

  “You’re going to get the Police Combat Cross.”

  “Wow.”

  “Is it your first commendation?”

  “Yeah.”

  “It’ll look good on your record. You made detective second, too.”

  “No shit?”

  “No shit.”

  “That’s great!”

  “And you’re getting transferred to the One Seven.”

  She was quiet. “He did that?” she said, finally.

  “He did. And you know why.”

  “I didn’t think he’d do that.”

  “You’ll like it. You’ll walk in there with a new rank and that nice, green ribbon, so you’ll get some respect.”

  “That would make a nice change,” she said. “Did he transfer Rosie, too?”

  “He doesn’t have the hots for Rosie. My guess is, if she requests it, Dino will get it done, but it might be a good thing to start in the One Seven with a new partner.”

  “Because she didn’t get the medal and the promotion?”

  “Let her get somewhere on her own—maybe you two can work together later.”

  “I guess that makes some sense. Does Dino know I’m coming over tonight?”

  “No, but don’t worry, he’s not going to mind. Take his Oxycontin away from him and ration it. Don’t tell Dino I told you so, but he’s scared to death of being in pain.”

  She giggled. “I won’t tell him.”

  “Congratulations on all counts, Viv, and have a good evening.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of him.”